Unapologetically Me

Chapter Forty Two

James

I grabbed my phone immediately and called emergency services. Kelly stared down at her feet, frozen to the spot as her mother laid motionless on the floor next to her bloody vomit.

As soon as they had someone on the way, I grabbed Kelly and sat her on the couch, then moved to her mother on the ground and leaned over her, listening for a heartbeat. I could hear one, but it sounded faint.

I looked down at her bloody lips and then over her gaunt, yellowed features. Her belly was swollen and I noticed that her legs were swollen as well. Sat next to her and continued to listen to her breathing.

There were track marks on her arms and I grit my teeth. I knew I shouldn't be angry right now, but seeing her again, after all of this time, I couldn't help but be mad.

Kelly had been doing good. Yes, she was worried about her mother, but she had been doing so much better and for her to show up like this? I could see how much this could set Kelly back. I glanced up at Kelly as she continued to stare down at her mom and I felt a twinge of sorrow.

There was no way that Kelly was going to come with me to Massachusetts now. Looking at her mother now, I couldn't see her leaving her, even if the woman was a horrible human being. I felt selfish thinking about it and guilty for even having any other thoughts than making sure she was okay.

The EMTs showed up promptly and got her on a gurney. I grabbed Kelly from the couch and led her out after them. I set her gently in the passenger seat of my car and hopped into the driver's seat, trying to think of what to do next. Obviously we would go to the hospital, but what would happen after that?

I followed after the ambulance and drove as carefully as I could. Kelly still had that blank look in her eyes and I cursed because I hadn't even thought of grabbing some shoes for her. Her feet were bare and stained with her mother's blood and she was shaking.

I grabbed my phone and dialed my mom.

"Hey, baby, all set to go tomorrow?"

"Change of plans. Kelly's mom showed up at the apartment and threw up a whole bunch of blood. We're on the way to the hospital now. Can you bring Kelly some shoes and a sweater?"

"Oh my goodness! Is she okay? How did that happen? Is Kelly alright?"

"Mom," I grit out. "Can you please just bring me that stuff?"

"Oh! Yeah, yes! I can I will be there in a minute. Which hospital?"

I gave her the name of the hospital we were pulling into now and we hung up.

I parked as close as I could to the front of the emergency room and I turned to look at Kelly.

"Hey, are you okay?"

She turned her head to me slowly, her eyes unfocused as she nodded. She was far away and I began to get worried. What was she thinking?

I slowly got out of the car and took a deep breath. I went around to Kelly's side of the car and she jerked her door open and vomited all over the ground in front of me.

I backed up and then moved to the side to hold her hair up. I could feel that she had gotten some in her hair already and I grimaced. She puked some more and then after a few empty heaves, she sat up and wiped her mouth. Her eyes glittered with tears and she shook her head.

"What the f*ck?" She whispered to me. I nodded slowly, understanding exactly what she meant. Everything had been going so well in between us. Too good to be true. It was only a matter of time before something happened to screw it all up.

"C'mon, let's go."

She looked down at her feet and crinkled her blonde eyebrows. "I don't have shoes."

"My mom is bringing you some."

She nodded and then went to get out, moving her feet around her puke so she didn't step in it.

"When did you call your mom?"

So she had been really out of it. "On our way here."

"Did she die?" She whispered to me as we walked up to the hospital.

"No. She's okay. They brought her in. She's still alive." She held her breath for a second then blew it out slowly.

"Okay. That's good, right?"

"Yeah." I told her quietly. I felt like sh*t because internally I felt like it wasn't good for her. But I was just a selfish prick that wanted Kelly all to myself.

After we checked in with the front and asked about Kelly's mom, they had us wait in the waiting room and a sense of deja vu hit me. We sat down and Kelly curled herself against my side, her eyes becoming unfocused again.

Neither of us spoke a word until my mom arrived with a pair of shoes and one of my hoodies. Kelly looked up at my mom with a shaky smile and thanked her for the stuff. My mom sat with us and I was glad she was there. Maybe after everything was settled more, I could confess to her about what a prick I was for being upset about her mom's arrival.

Kelly slipped the sweater on and slipped on the pair of flats my mom brought her. I stared at the stains on Kelly's feet and frowned. I left Kelly with my mom and went to the bathroom. I wet some paper towels and went back to Kelly, took her shoes off of her feet and wipes away all of the blood from her feet.

My mom and Kelly watched me, but I felt like I needed to do something other than just sit around. When they were clean, I put her shoes back in her and threw the paper towels away. I sat back down and leaned against the wall, closing my eyes as Kelly clung to me.

"I need to go, your dad is about to go into work. Call me if you need anything, okay?"

"Yeah." I watched her leave and sighed. We sat quietly for about an hour before Kelly turned to me and looked into my eyes with her blue ones. She took a deep breath and then looked down at my lap.

"I'm a horrible person. Like really bad." She whispered.

"Why did you say that?"

She sighed and laid her head against my chest again. "Because I was upset that she showed up."

I raised my eyebrows, glad for the moment that she couldn't see me. "Well, it was sudden."

"Yeah, but...that's not it."

"Okay, so tell me."

She took a deep, shaky breath and glanced back up at me.

"I'm angry that she's back. I'm angry that we're here after everything she's put me though."

I nodded. This was why were were perfect for eachother. We were both selfish assholes. She didn't like that her mother coming back had interfered with our happy little bubble either. I somehow felt relieved that I wasn't the only one.

"It's okay."

"You don't think I'm horrible?"

"Baby, I'm horrible too."

"No! You were great! You jumped into action and did all of the right things. I just sat there."

"You were in shock. It was a lot to handle in just a short bit of time. And it's your mom."

She nodded slowly. Just then a lady in scrubs came over to us and asked if we were with Marianne Whitmore. Kelly stood up quickly and walked to her. I followed her.

"I'm her daughter."

She nodded slowly and looked down at her tablet. "Your mother is in stable condition right now. We've run some tests and it seems like she's been sick for a while. Did you know that your mom has stage four cirrhosis?"

Kelly furrowed her eyebrows. "Stage four?"

"Yes. She's been seeing a doctor for years about it, but it seems it has progressed. We found a cocktail of drugs in her system and she has stopped taking her medications, it seems."

"What does that mean?"

"It means that your mother's condition has worsened."

Kelly chewed on the inside of her cheek and and I could see her mind racing.

"So, she's been sick for years?"

"Yes, ma'am. She sees doctor Rutherford for it and he's been contacted. He should be able to tell you more about her condition."

Kelly nodded again. "Can I see her?"

The nurse nodded and then led us to an elevator. We followed her to a room and Kelly's mom was in there laying in bed, looking small and worn. There was a cannula in her nose and her eyes were closed. Her skin was jaundiced and to be quiete frank, she looked like sh*t.

Kelly huffed a sob and walked to her mother's beside, grabbing one of her thin, frail hands. I took a seat behind her and began researching what the doctor lady told Kelly about her mother's condition.

I swallowed hard, looking down at the results and looking at Kelly's mom. I knew searching it on the Internet didn't mean that it was concrete, but if what I saw of Kelly's mom was any indication, her prognosis wasn't very good.

Kelly took a seat next to her mom's bedside and we waited in the room for a while. I stepped out to go get us some dinner, although I knew Kelly probably wouldn't eat. I just needed to get out of here though. My mind was flooded with different thought of what was going to happen next and I felt angry and guilty and I couldn't seem to stop myself.

Kelly wasn't going to come to Massachusetts with me. I know that. I couldn't ask her to abandon her mother and I wasn't going to ask her to, unless something happened from now until it was time to go.

As I grabbed food, I began trying to wrap my head around that. I loved Kelly with all of my heart and I knew it would be hard, but I guess in that moment, I also started thinking about how to start letting her go.