Unapologetically Me

Chapter Seventeen

I rubbed my temples and looked down at all of the numbers. We owed over fifteen

grand in bills for the month and that wasn't even everything that was being paid for. Mom was tearing through the groceries like crazy, so I would need to go shopping soon again and I knew that we had streaming services that were being automatically drafted.

I went over all of the bills and couldn't believe that half of them were credit card statements. Mom was online shopping and I didn't even notice half of the sh*t she bought. I had begun looking over the bills to figure out if I would be able to try out for the dance team and stumbled upon thousands of dollars worth of bills and a rising blood pressure.

I took a drink of my ice cold soda and rubbed my eyes under my glasses. I had been sent home early from practice because my leg was still sore and I couldn't do sh*t. I also didn't want to be there. But now all I wanted was to escape the reality that I didn't know how to pay for this and if we even had the money. I had no way to look at our funds. My mom had all of the accounts on her phone and I knew she wouldn't give up that information willingly.

I groaned in frustration and laid my head down on the island counter. My phone tinkled and I picked it up and felt butterflies erupt in my belly.

"Hello?"

"Hey, beautiful. What are you up to?"

"Nothing fun. You?"

"Came to the store to get something to snack on. Want anything?"

"Yes. Twizzlers please." I smiled. I would at least get to see him.

"Alright. Grabbing them now. Anything else?"

"Nope. I'll be waiting."

"Okay. I'll be there in around five minutes."

I smiled and hung up, grateful that he found a reason to come by. For the last few days we had hung out every other day so that he could still have time with his other friends and I could have time with Chloe. I didn't necessarily get time with her since she was busy everyday after school, but I didn't want to isolate him from his friends.

Even though one of them still clung to him like a leech. I continued to looked through the credit card statements and had almost forgotten that James was going to be here when the doorbell rang. I rushed to it, feeling excited to see him and threw the door open. He held up my pack of twizzlers and also had a pack of cigarettes and some beer. I furrowed my eyebrows and he grinned.

"Brought these for you to have for next time. Just in case."

I felt my lower lip tremble and I hugged him tightly, pressing my face against his chest.

"You're amazing. You're going to make some woman happy some day. You know that?"

"I sure hope so."

"Yeah. You will." I pressed my lips to his and let him go, leading him inside. I made him put the contraband in the laundry room since my mom ever hardly came in here and then went back to the kitchen to put all of the paperwork away for now.

Now that he was here, I could relax for a bit and stress about the bills later. As I began stacking them, James became nosy and began looking at the stray ones I hadn't picked up yet.

"Hefty bills."

"Yep. I discovered the hard way that my dad was in charge of all of this sh*t. It's no wonder his heart f*cking burst. With all of this stress, I can see it happening."

"And are you handling them all good?"

"I would if I could get my hands on the banking information. My mom has all of that stuff and I have a feeling she isn't going to give it up easily. I'm honestly scared that one day I'm going to walk out of school and my car is going to be gone."

He took the bills out of my hands and looked through them. His eyebrows crinkled and he began organizing them on the table. I watched as he did and then he turned to me and pointed at the first pile. "Priority. Those should be paid as soon as possible." He pointed to a second pile. "These

aren't past due yet, so you have a little time to pay those. And this pile is less important stuff that can be divided into minimum payments if you can't pay them outright. Do you have a calendar?"

"Like a wall one? Or the one on my phone?"

He took my phone from the counter and I unlocked it for him. He went to the calendar app and began scrolling through, his long fingers typing quickly as he moved papers around. I walked around the island and sat across from him and watched him.

I felt a bit uncomfortable with how much he was seeing about me. I hardly knew much about him except for s*x and that he had a giant family and was a tech whizz. I kind of started feeling guilty that I hadn't even asked him about himself.

Here I was laying it all out for him and didn't even know when his birthday was or what his favorite food was.

"When's your birthday?"

"In a couple of weeks, why?"

"The actual date."

"November Eighth."

I nodded. November Eighth. Got it.

"And what is your favorite food?"

He furrowed his eyebrows, still typing furiously. "Anything really. I'm not picky."

"But what's your ultimate favorite? Like, you're stranded on an island and had to eat only one thing for the rest of your life, what would it be?"

He smirked and I raised my eyebrows. "Your p*ssy."

I had been taking a sip of my soda and choked and snorted soda out of my nose. My eyes watered and I felt the carbonation burn the inside of my nose. I leaned over and smacked him arm and he laughed loudly, just like Pink Streak was able to make him do.

"Food! Moron!"

I stood up to grab the paper towels and he continued with the typing, a giant grin on his face.

"Alright, fine. I would eat fried chicken."

"Fried chicken. Like fast food in a big bucket fried chicken? Or chicken strips? Or chicken sandwiches?"

"Any of it. All of it. If it's fried and it's chicken, that's what I would eat. What about you?"

"Burgers. Big, juicy, greasy burgers. With all of the fixings."

"Onions too?"

"Yes. Everything."

"Ew. I hate onions." I smiled and he looked over at me with a curious smile.

"Okay so you're stuck with those burgers on the island with nothing else, which person is stuck with you?"

I bit my lip and shrugged. "Dead or alive?"

"Well sure, but I wouldn't want to be stuck with a dead person. I don't know about you."

I rolled my eyes and grinned. "Chloe I think. You?"

"Not Michael. He'd annoy the sh*t out of me on the first day. I think my dad."

When he said it I could see that he was sincere. I liked that. "What's he like?"

"He's funny. He runs a tattoo parlor on the strip. He's a good artist. If I don't get in anywhere good for college, then I'm thinking of apprenticing for him there."

"Making tattoos?"

"Yeah. I like drawing."

I was embarrassed to admit I had kept all of the little doodles from Monday in my binder. "Well you're good at it. I didn't know you liked to do that."

He grinned at me and nodded. "Yeah. It's a hobby, but I like my computer sh*t more than anything. It's like puzzles, you know?"

I nodded, even though I didn't. It felt good getting to hear about him more. It gave me more insight into who he is.

"That's cool. Maybe one day you could give me a tattoo."

"I can do that. What would you get?"

He stopped typing and looked at me. " I don't know. I've never thought about the type of tattoo I'd ever get. My dad was against that. He said it would be stuck on my body forever and what if I hated it later."

I swallowed hard thinking about him. He was handsome, even as an old man, and only had a few wrinkles on his face. I was surprised with as much as he dealt that he didn't have more.

I looked down at the counter and took a deep breath. "Maybe a butterfly for new beginnings. You know. Something cheesy like that."

He nodded. He passed my phone over to me and as I took it, he placed his hand over mine.

"I'm sorry about your dad."

"Thanks. Honestly, I never know what to say to people when they tell me that. It's like...just now. I thanked you, but for what?" I smiled and he shrugged.

" I don't know. I've never had to deal with something like that, but it's understandable."

I placed my other hand over his and ran my hand over the top of it. Everything about him made me feel so comfortable.

"I put all of the dates of these bills on your calendar and the amount so that you would know when stuff is due. I set a reminder for a couple days before they're due so that you know when to pay them. "

I smiled at him and thanked him. I still didn't know how I would get them paid, but at least now I knew when they were due. I leaned in to give him a kiss but before I could, I heard my mom call me from upstairs. I cursed under my breath.

"I'll be back. Make yourself comfortable." He nodded and I went upstairs and felt dread fill my chest. I hated that that was the feeling my mom gave me anytime I was near her, but since she hit me, I was scared of getting too close.

"Yeah?"

"The cable is off. Why is it off?"

"We haven't paid the bill. Do you have the bank card and everything. I have other bills I need to get done too."

"Just use your credit card."

"Mom, no. I just looked at the statements and we owe over a grand on all of them put together."

"Kelly, just f*cking use the credit card! I have a show I need to watch!"

"No! It's too much money on the cards! We're already past due on Dad's car payment and we are past due on the mortgage. I need the actual bank card."

"No. You're not using my money."

"What money do I use!? It's not just yours! We need a home to live in and cars to drive!"

"I'm telling you! Use the damn credit cards!" She screamed in my face. I could smell the putrid alcohol on her breath and I stepped back in disgust. I glared at her and shook my head.

"You're just going to have to miss your show. I can't use the credit cards." I turned to walk away and felt her hand tangle in my hair and pull me back. I grabbed at her as she began slapping at me, telling me that I was such a stupid girl and that I was stubborn.

I clawed at her arms to get away from her and when I finally did, I ran from her bedroom and down the stairs. She would just have to sit in her bed and suffer without her damn TV. I wasn't going to give in to her being a f*cking bully just to get what she wanted.

I pulled my hair tie out of my hair and fixed it and once downstairs I looked at James who had probably heard what had happened upstairs.

"Hey, do you want to go somewhere?" I asked him. He nodded quickly and we walked outside to his car. I hopped in the passenger seat and put on my seatbelt and stared out of the passenger window.

"Where to?" He asked me as he pulled out of my driveway. I shrugged.

"Wherever. I don't care."

He drove around for a little bit and I tried my hardest not to let him see me cry. It seemed like that's all I ever did around him. Instead I just stared out of the window and thought of what my mom's deal was. She never used to do this. Atleast not to me. Did she do this to Dad?

When we pulled into the driveway of his house I felt kind of relieved. I could hide out here until my mom calmed down. When we walked inside I was met with a roar of noise. Little kids ran around everywhere, looking like smaller versions of James and I smiled.

He took my hand as we navigated through the raucous living room and down the hallway to the basement. Once down in his bedroom, the noise was almost non existent. He shut the door and I flopped back onto his bed. He flopped onto the bed next to me and I turned to look at him.

I felt a little embarrassed for what happened at my house. I wondered what he thought about what he might have heard.

He reached across to me and I flinched back. I didn't even know why I did, but he stopped and placed his hand in between us in his bed.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He asked me quietly. His eyes searched my face and I shook my head.

"Can we just do something else?" There was a small knock on his door and we both watched as his younger brother stuck his head in. Jordan went to school with us but was a sophomore while we were seniors.

"Hey, just wanted to see if you wanted to play video games. I tried calling you earlier but you didn't answer." James glanced down at me and I smiled.

"Yeah. What are you playing?"

"Anything. Just bored out of my mind and Justin sucks at first person shooter."

We spent the rest of the afternoon playing video games and when it hit nine in the evening and I heard James' mom calling for the kids to start getting in bed, I knew I had to get going home.

James drove slowly to my house and I was dreading going back. I was kind of scared of going back. I knew my mom wouldn't seriously hurt me, but just another one of her hair pulls would be bad enough. As we neared my home red and blue lights shone brightly in the block. My stomach sank and James glanced at me as we drove by. They were sitting in front of my house.

"F*ck. What did she do?" I muttered under my breath. I watched the police officers walking from the inside of my house, closing it behind them and then get in their cars.

"I should go see."

"You're a minor. They would make you go stay in a home or something." James whispered. We stopped a few houses down and watched them leave. The pit in my stomach got bigger as everything went dark again. He drove me around the block and back home. Immediately I saw something that was wrong.

Shattered glass was laying in the driveway next to a bay and a bottle of liquor. My dad's car windows were shattered and there were dents all around the hood and doors. There was a kitchen knife by one of the back tires and I felt my throat begin to ache with unshed tears.

"What the f*ck was she thinking?"

I stared at the car and felt anger grip at my heart. She was obviously pissed at me, but did she have to break the car? How in the hell was I going to pay to get this fixed? I knew for a fact she wouldn't let me use her car to get to school. She did this to hurt me because I didn't do what she wanted.

"Thanks for the ride." I turned to James as he studied the car and he turned to me with his eyebrows furrowed.

"Do you...do you want to come stay with me for the night? I can give you a ride to school in the morning. Just until you can get everything figured out so that you don't stay here alone."

I caressed his cheek and shook my head. "I'll take the ride to school, but I think I want to be alone right now."