Unapologetically Me

Chapter Fifteen

James

Why was it so hard to stop thinking about a girl that I knew was bad news for me? Kelly was so complicated. One second we're having s*x and contemplating our relationship or lack thereof, and the next she's blowing Dexter a few hours after I had just seen her.

It had been a week since I talked to her last and I couldn't f*cking concentrate to save my life. She was all I could think of, despite going on more dates with Lara and even getting a nice bl*w job from her on my last one.

I couldn't even c*m without thinking of Kelly's tight little body. It felt dirty. I felt like a disgusting human being for thinking of her while I was getting blown by someone else, but my d**k seemed to think that Kelly was his end game so, there's that.

Michael had gone off on her over the phone after I got bummed out when I saw her walk out of Dexter's bedroom and she couldn't even look me in the eye. Neither of us had tried contacting the other and it felt like a clean break, except I knew it wasn't. There were things I wanted to know. It felt wrong. Like it had ended before it even got started.

It was Friday night again and we were at a party. Michael drove us and decided to be the designated driver, so I was clear to drink, but Lara was completely sh*tfaced, which stopped me from drinking earlier in the night. Her face was pink and she was laughing and stumbling around and I could only imagine what her dad was going to do when I brought her home like this.

The guy was retired from the military and had given me a whole speech on integrity and some other sh*t about trust. I was pretty sure he would kill me as soon as he saw his daughter like this.

I helped her up the stairs because she said she needed to pee. I found the master bedroom clear of any one and stepped out of the bathroom so that she could do her business. I was kind of in a bad mood. I had spotted Kelly earlier with Chloe, hanging around Dexter and some other jocks and I wondered if they were officially f*cking now and felt stupid for even being jealous about it.

I wanted to leave, but Lara and Michael and his girl all wanted to stay, and since I didn't bring my car, I was stuck. I checked my watch after a while and knocked on the bathroom door. She moaned something and I groaned when I heard the faint sounds of her relieving herself of everything she ate for the day.

I opened the door and her face was buried in the toilet, heaving heavily into the toilet. I grimaced and walked over to her and held her hair back out of her face. I was completely done for the night. The whole week sucked, trying to ignore Kelly at school and now being stuck here with this.

"I-I'm sorry." She groaned into the toilet. She heaved again and my stomach threatened to do the same. I held it back and patted her back. She had never been this bad before. I didn't kw why she started drinking so badly.

"It's okay. Get it all out. You're fine."

There was a light knock on the door and before I could answer, a head peeked in. My throat dried up when I saw her face and I looked away quickly.

"Sh*t. Sorry. I'll go somewhere else." She began closing the door but my stupid mouth couldn't help itself and called out to her.

"Kelly."

She poked her head back in slowly. "Yeah?"

I didn't know what to say so I thought of the first thing on my mind. "Do you have a car?"

"Yeah. Do you need a ride?"

I chewed on the the inside of my lip and cringed as Lara heaved again. "Yeah. Can you help me take her home? Michael drove us and he's not wanting to go home yet, so I've been kind of stuck. Kelly looked at Lara and then back at me. She sighed and nodded.

"Okay. Let me just tell Chloe I'm going home and I'll meet both of you downstairs. If she pukes in my car, you're cleaning it."

I grinned and nodded. "Deal."

After she left I was able to get Lara situated an I took her downstairs, stumbling and groaning the whole way.

"Where are we going?" She slurred as I took her to the front door.

"Home. Try not to puke."

"I need something to drink. My mouth tastes gross."

"I'll see if she can stop at the convenience store."

Kelly walked up and nodded to the front door, looking at Lara with a grimace.

"She okay?"

"Yeah, she's thirsty. Can we stop at the convenience store on our way?"

She nodded and led us out to her car parked a bit far away from the house.

"Why'd you park so far away?"

"I didn't want to come but Chloe threatened me with my life, so I got here a bit late." She seemed like she didn't want to talk so I just nodded and followed her to her car.

She unlocked the Range Rover she had driven the other day and hopped in the driver's seat. I hopped into the back with Lara after she whined when I tried to close the back door.

This was going to be interesting. Kelly put on some music and began driving. "Convenience store first then?"

"Yes, please?"

She nodded and drove in silence. It was awkward as hell. Lara tried singing to some of the music and was being obnoxiously touchy. Her hands kept touching my chest and would move down and I'd have to grab her hands before she could grab my d**k through my pants.

From time to time I would see Kelly look at me through her rearview mirror and I'd feel my cheeks burn. This was probably a bad idea, but I needed a way out.

She stopped at the store and as I tried to get out, Lara kept clinging to me.

"Please! Don't leave me!"

I was fed up and I clenched my teeth. "I have to go get you a water. You have to stay. You're drunk as f*ck."

She giggled and Kelly finally looked back. "Hey Pink Streak, what music do you like? We can make a playlist while he runs in."

"Ooh yeah!" I thanked her and asked her if she needed anything.

"No I'm fine."

I hurried and grabbed her a water and went ahead and grabbed some candy that I saw Kelly eat at her house a couple of times. It was stupid that I was doing this, but I couldn't help myself.

When I got back, alternative rock was blaring from the speakers and Lara's drunken slurs trying to keep up. Kelly sat looking annoyed. I hopped back into the back and handed Lara her water and then placed Kelly's candy on the center console. She looked at it, then back up at me.

"Thank you." She smiled and my heart squeezed. This s**t was ridiculous. I gave her Lara's address and she drove quietly. Lara had quieted after a while and just when I thought she had fallen asleep she heaved and threw up all over the back of Kelly's seat.

"F*ck me. Did she really?" She lowered all of the windows as she grumbled and I sighed.

"I'm sorry. I'll clean it up." Lara cuddled up into my lap for the rest of the drive back to her house. I stared at Kelly as she drove and could see the dark circles under her eyes.

When we got to Lara's house I had to pick her up bridal style and take her to the front door. When her dad answered the door and saw her he gave me a stern look and took her from me.

"I'm sorry. I tried to tell her not to drink, but she just kept going and-"

"Just go."

I nodded and left. At Kelly's car I opted for the front passenger since the back stunk really bad and she drove us to one of those twenty-four seven car washes.

We both got out of the car and I hurried up and grabbed napkins and began wiping up as much as I could from the back before I took the rug out and washed it off. Kelly helped a little, grabbing more napkins and wiping the back of the backseat, gagging as she did.

"Your girlfriend owes me some car freshener."

"Not my girlfriend." I clarified as I continued to wash off the rug. Chunks clung to it like it owed them money.

"Not what she said."

She walked around her car and began pulling trash out of the front passenger seat and the back. I helped her with that while I met the rug sit and dry.

"She's not. Just friends."

"Okay."

I didn't like the smirk she gave me. I was already annoyed enough as it is.

"Thank you for the ride."

"Yup." She nodded and sat down in the front seat."It's the least I could do."

"What does that mean?"

"You know what it means."

"The Dexter thing?"

She blushed, her nostrils flaring as she nodded. "Yep. That."

"I thought we already agreed that it was nothing. We aren't together. You can do whatever you want and so can I."

"So you're f*cking her?"

"Are you f*cking Dexter?"

We stared at eachother for a while and then she shook her head.

"No. I haven't been near him since. We talk, but I avoid him as much as I can."

"Why?"

"Why what?"

I glared down at the concrete and shrugged. I didn't want to look clingy or weird. But I felt like I needed to know why she went to him right after me.

"Why did you go to him?"

She looked down at her hands. "If I told you, you wouldn't believe me anyways. " She shrugged and picked at a string on her pants.

"I will."

"It doesn't matter, James. You've avoided me all week. Don't act like you weren't mad about it."

"I wasn't mad. I was...I was jealous and a little hurt."

She pressed her lips together and shrugged. "Before I went to the grocery store my mom asked me to get her some beer and cigarettes. I'm not old enough to get those yet and by the time we were done at the store, I forgot. When I got home she slapped me and pulled me hair and told me not to come home unless I had what she needed." Her voice became husky and she wiped at her eyes with the back of her hands.

"He was the only one with a fake ID that I knew about, so I asked him. He doesn't do things for free..."

Her face turned pink with embarrassment and I felt anger bubble up to the surface.

"He made you f*ck him for it?"

"Michael walked in before anything like that happened, but he still expects it. He's been texting me nonstop since then."

"Why didn't you just tell me? I could have just asked my parents. They...they don't get all bent out of shape about that stuff. I would have been able to get it for you."

She covered her face and I walked up to her and placed my hands on her knees. She buried her face in my shirt for a second then pulled away, cringing.

"You smell like her vomit."

Ugh. I brought my shirt up to my face and cringed away from the acidic smell. "Sh*t."

"Yeah, that's pretty gross." I sighed and she took a deep breath, wiping at the makeup under her eyes.

"I didn't f*ck Lara either, by the way."

"But some things happened with her, right?"

I rubbed the back of my neck and sighed. "Yeah."

"What was it?"

"Does it matter?"

"No. I still want to know."

"Blowjob."

She pressed her lips together and let a breath out through her nose. "Was it good?"

"No. I couldn't finish."

"Why not?"

I blushed and shrugged. "I don't know."

She smiled and sat back. I moved my hands up her thighs giving them a little squeeze and she watched them, biting her bottom lip.

"Did you like anything you did with Dexter?"

She grimaced and shrugged. "He never does anything for me. It's always about him."

"Never?"

"Nope. Like...I thought we were going to have s*x and then he pulled away and told me to blow him."

"But you wanted to?"

"No. Not at first. But tell me that when she started blowing you that you didn't want it either."

She had a point."Fine. I get it. So are we okay?"

"I'm okay if you are."

"I am. Just...next time talk to me and if I can do it, I will."

She smiled up at me and nodded. A loud truck pulled up to the carwash so we packed everything up and left. We had to keep the windows open because the car still smelled, but it was fine. There was a little breeze that hinted that fall was near.

When we arrived at my house I almost felt a little disappointed that I wouldn't see her for any longer. I still didn't know where we stood but I knew it was better than last week.

I took a deep breath and touched her hand. "See you later?"

"Only if you want." She gave me a shy smile and I nodded.

I walked up to the front door and turned around. She gave a small wave before she backed out of the driveway and drove away. I sighed and shook my head.

She was too much, but all the same I couldn't stay away from her.