Unforgettable Love (Passionate Love Series of the Iñigos)

Obsession

Brandon’s POV

“I don’t think I can survive being away from her Dad. Just the mere thought of not seeing Cassie in a day is enough to make me feel anxious. The feeling only goes away when I see her. That is the reason why I go to her school whenever I can even if I had to travel for four to five hours to and fro. If I could claim her now, I would. That’s how sure I am that she’s the one for me.” Hindi ko ibinaba ang titig ko sa mata ni Dad. Gusto kong makita niya at maintindihan ang nararamdaman ko at kung gaano ako ka-seryoso.

Umiling si Dad at nagsalita ng tahimik “I cannot condone this Brandon. You know that your Tito Raymond and I have been friends for a long time. I don’t want him to think that I am taking advantage of that friendship, Son. He trusts me and this family implicitly because that’s how I trust him as well. Go to the U.S. and finish your studies. Then, if you still feel the same way, talk to him about how you feel for Cassie. Sasamahan pa kita. But not now. You are young and should look forward to take on the possibilities this world has to offer. Grow into the man I know you can be. When that happens, you go and talk to your Tito Raymond and Tita Carmela and ask their permission to court Cassie.”

Umiiling din ako bago pa matapos magsalita si Dad. “I don’t want to leave her Dad. I have confessed my feelings for her. She loves me too Dad. I can’t leave her, not because she needs me but because I need her” may pagsusumamo ang mga mata kong nakatingin sa kanya. “Remember when I entered the seminary when I was fifteen? You asked me why I wanted to become a priest.”

“Yeah. You said you wanted some answers.”

“Yes. It was true because my thoughts were filled with Cassie and it was driving me mad. I was always thinking of her and she was only what, ten or eleven at the time? I thought I must be sick wanting someone as young as she and I was also under the impression that she was family. I couldn’t tell anyone because I was afraid you would think I was insane. s**t Dad, even I thought I had a loose screw!” naluha kong sambit sa kanya.

Niyakap ako ng mahigpit ni Dad. “I’m sorry Son, I didn’t know! How you must have suffered with the thoughts that you had then! Kaya pala napabayaan mo ang sarili mo ng mga panahon na iyon. I remember you were barely eating during that time and you were having sleepless nights. Your mother and I were so worried about you then but you never said anything even when we asked you repeatedly. That is why we finally consented for you to enter and study in the seminary. We thought it was difficult for you to tell us that was what you wanted and perhaps you were worried about us not allowing you to go kaya hindi ka makakain at makatulog.”

“I did find peace there Dad and was able to get the answers to the questions torturing me. I was able to open up to Fr. Benedict about everything. There, I was able to realize that what I feel for Cassie is not incest or anything ugly or bad. He made me realize that I can love her freely but that I will have to wait for the right time. From then on, I have found my peace.” I smiled reminiscing the year I stayed inside the seminary just to get my answers. Tiniis kong hindi makita si Cassie ng taong iyon. Though pumunta naman sila noon sa seminaryo on my birthday. I felt happier that time habang kapiling ko siya ng araw na iyon because I knew at the time that she can be mine, that I am allowed to love her, and that what I am wishing for is possible to happen. Ako pa din ang sunod ng sunod na nagbantay sa kanila ni Blake sa grounds habang naglalaro silang dalawa noong dumalaw sila sa akin noon.

Binitiwan ako ni Dad sa pagkakayakap niya pero inakbayan niya ako ng kanan niyang kamay. “I’ll ask my secretary to book you an appointment with my Psychiatrist friend. Don’t worry. It will be confidential even if Dr. Navarro is a close friend of mine. Unless you have express approval to share his diagnosis with me and your mom, anything you discuss will remain between the two of you. But Brandon, I mean it. You are coming with us and that is final. I know that it will not be easy for you but you need this time away from her. You need to learn how to handle your extreme emotions and professional help will help you look at this in another perspective.”

“I don’t know Dad…”

“Trust me Anak. You need this. And besides, Cassie is barely sixteen. She won’t be mature enough to handle how you feel for her. And how about her parents? You also need to consider how they would feel when they find out.”

Napagdaupang palad ko ang mga kamay ko sa gitna ng aking mga hita, mga braso kong nakapatong sa mga tuhod ko at sabay yumuko. I felt so helpless. I cannot even imagine being away from Cassie for a day, let alone, years. Even more so now when I know that she loves me back. I understood what my Dad said that time but my emotions were riding high. It was like being on a roller coaster ride that day. I was ecstatic that we were finally able to express our feelings and that Cassie was finally my girlfriend, then I got freaking jealously mad at Nate for obviously liking my girl, and then realizing that I am being forced to leave her side. My Dad’s words made sense at the time though, deep inside, I knew he was right. My feelings were not the usual teeny-bopper type that you see in high school movies. They run too deeply and too fiercely that it frightened me as well. Ayokong dumating ang pagkakataon na matakot din si Cassie sa akin.

“Alright Dad. I’ll see the doctor. But let me see Cassie while I am still here. I need to be with her for these remaining months before we leave” mariin kong sabi kay Dad.

He looked at me seriously and I looked back at him the same way. “We need to inform your Tito Raymond. Ayokong maglihim sa kanya Brandon.”

Tumango naman ako. I would do anything they ask just so I can be with Cassie.

“Promise me you’ll rein in your emotions and that you will control yourself. You are both too young and I am worried about what your emotions can do” pagpapaalala ni Dad.

“I promise I won’t do anything stupid Dad. I want to earn the trust of Tito Raymond and Tita Carmela so they can trust me with Cassie.”

Tumango si Dad at tumayo kaming dalawa. Niyakap niya ako ulit sabay tapik sa aking balikat. “ I think you should find Nate and apologize. You owe it to him.”

“Sorry Dad, I don’t feel like doing that. He was flirting with my girl and I won’t have it! What I need to do is find Cassie and talk to her.”

Napailing na lang si Dad at naglakad na kami papasok sa loob.

Bumalik si Dad sa mga bisita niya sa hardin. Inikot ko naman ang buong area na iisa ang pakay: ang mahanap si Cassie at makausap ng masinsinan. I saw anger in her face earlier, and rebelliousness. I have to let her know that she can’t disobey me like that and that she can’t talk to boys. I need to make her understand.

Wala siya sa hardin. Pumasok ako sa bahay at hinanap siya sa sala, sa kitchen… wala. I went up to the second floor and she wasn’t in the family living room. I had to stop for a bit and talk to Tita Sarah when she called me over to her again.

Pagkatapos ng maikling kumustahan ay pinagpatuloy ko ang paghahanap kay Cassie sa playroom at sa library. Wala pa din siya.

I looked inside my room, hoping against hope that I will find her there. Wala. I looked inside the other bedrooms. Wala talaga. Where could she be?

I was starting to get nervous. I know she would not leave without her parents and her sister but this anxiousness always kicks in when I don’t know what she is doing or when she’s out of my sight. Pumikit muna ako at huminga ng malalim para pakalmahin ang sarili. After a few moments, I went down to the kitchen again and saw Yaya Nene giving instructions to the head waiter.

“Yaya, have you seen Cassie by any chance?”

“O Iho, nandiyan ka pala. Nakita ko siyang kumukuha ng pagkain kasama ni Blake pero kanina pa iyon. Ikaw? Kumain ka na ba? Make sure huwag ka malipasan ng gutom. Kumuha ka na ng pagkain. Nandiyan ang mga paborito mong ulam” marahang suhestiyon ng Yaya naming mga magkakapatid. Si Yaya Nene ang tumayong pangalawa naming ina dahil busy si Mommy sa kanyang career bilang doctor at sa mga charity organization na pinagtutuunan din niya ng pansin. Hindi naman nagkukulang ng oras sa amin ang aming mga magulang. Naglalaan talaga sila ng panahon para sa aming mga magkakapatid. Ngunit ang pang-araw araw naming mga pangangailangan ay si Yaya Nene ang nag-aasikaso. Katuwang niya si Yaya Pita sa gawaing ito ng ipanganak ni Mommy si Blake.

“ Kumuha na po ako ng makakain kanina Yaya.” Niyakap ko si Yaya Nene sa likod at hinagkan ng marahan sa kanyang ulo.

“Diyaskeng bata ka… bitiwan mo nga ako at amoy ulam ako! Bumalik ka na sa mga bisita ninyo at tumulong ka doon sa pag-aasikaso sa kanila.”

“Amoy baby ka pa din Yaya, as always!” ngising sabi ko. Lagi naman talaga amoy baby powder si Yaya Nene. Si Yaya Pita naman laging amoy shampoo. Bumitiw ako sa pagkakayakap sa kanya sa likod at hinarap siya. “Could you do me a favor please? Pag nakita niyo po si Cassie, pakisabi po na hinahanap ko siya?”

“Sige Iho. Sasabihan ko siya pag nakita ko. Hanapin mo din si Blake. Kung hindi naman ikaw ang kasama ni Cassie, palaging ang dalawang iyon ang magkasama.” ani ni Yaya habang bumalik na sa pagbibigay ng instructions sa head waiter to make sure that the food is refilled all the time.

Napapailing ako sa pag-aalaga ni Yaya, hindi lang sa amin kung hindi sa buong pamilya namin. Yaya Nene is part of the family. My parents readily admit they wouldn’t know what to do without her. Buong buo ang tiwala nila kay Yaya Nene.

Bumalik ako sa hardin para hanapin ulit doon si Cassie. She likes it there because of the plants and flowers. When I didn’t find her there, I went to the pool area at the back. We closed off this section today and had it guarded so no one can use the pool. Not that we don’t want anyone using it. More for safety’s sake because Christmas parties in my house are usually flooded with drinks. Madami ding mga bata kaya we thought it best not to open the pool to avoid untoward incidents.

Nakita kong nandoon ang driver namin na si Kuya Greg na kumakain kasama si Kuya Bong na security guard namin na nagbabantay sa pool area.

Tumayo sila ng makita ako.

“Kain na Brandon. Halika at saluhan mo kami.” pag-aanyaya ni Kuya Greg.

“Kain Brandon” anyaya din ni Kuya Bong.

“Naku maupo lang ho kayo at kumain. Huwag niyo po akong intindihin. Hinahanap ko lang po si Cassie. Nagawi po ba siya dito?”

“Ay Brandon, nandoon sa mga aso. Hindi ko pa napapansin mapadaan ulit dito. Baka nandoon pa.” ani ni Kuya Bong.

May maliit na area dito sa may likod para sa mga alaga naming mga aso. Dito sila pinapaliguan at pinapakain. May maliit na gate ito para doon lang sila pag may mga okasyon tulad ngayon.

“Thank you Kuya Bong. Sige po at ipagpatuloy niyo lang ang pagkain. Kuha lang po kayo ho.”

Napangisi akong lalo at dali dali akong pumunta sa dulo ng bakuran at lumiko sa kaliwa. Lalo akong napangiti ng makita ko si Cassie na walang pakialam na nakikipag-habulan sa mga aso. Rinig na rinig ko ang mga halakhak niya. Napapikit ako at huminga ng malalalim habang pinapakinggan ko ang mga tawa niya.

I have found her. I have found my peace.