CHAPTER 5: DROWNING IN SILENCE
1459 Words
Rain falls over Nanshi like it doesn’t plan to stop anymore.
It is not the kind of rain that cleans anything. It feels more like the sky is tired and doesn’t know what else to do.
The palace gates are covered in black cloth. The white flowers that used to hang there are gone, replaced with something heavier. Something that doesn’t move even when the wind touches it.
People line the streets quietly. No noise. No shouting. Just standing.
Some hold white flowers. Some carry lanterns under their umbrellas. Some just keep their heads down like they don’t want to see what they already know is happening.
A coffin moves through the center of it all. White. Simple. Covered in silver blossoms.
Yue Xin’s coffin.
The woman who was supposed to become queen.
Now just someone being carried away from a future she never reached.
I hear voices in the crowd.
An old woman speaks first.
“She gave medicine to my granddaughter…”
A merchant follows.
“She helped rebuild my shop after the flood…”
A servant wipes his face.
“She remembered our names…”
Another voice, softer.
“She wasn’t a traitor.”
“She saved people.”
“She loved His Majesty.”
Then another voice breaks through.
“But she raised a blade against the king.”
“People died because of her.”
“What if she truly betrayed us?”
No one answers that last question. Because nobody knows anymore what is true and what is fear.
Even in death, Yue Xin does not feel settled in their minds. She had divided them.
…
The ceremony begins without warmth.
General Ron stands straight beside the coffin, but his hands are tight. Commander Ravel doesn’t look up. Mizuno stands still like she is holding herself together by force.
The priest lowers his head.
“May her soul find peace.”
Everyone waits. Not for words. For me.
I am supposed to speak.
I don’t.
I stand under the rain in black clothes that feel heavier than armor ever did. My eyes are fixed on the coffin. I don’t blink. I don’t move.
The priest turns slightly.
“Your Majesty…”
Still nothing from me. Time passes in a way that feels wrong.
Then I walk forward, slowly. Each step feels like it belongs to someone else.
I stop beside the coffin. I place something on top of it.
A small wooden hairpin.
Her favorite one. Cheap. Simple. Something she bought during a festival because she said expensive things made people nervous.
I remember that clearly.
“…You hated expensive gifts,” I say quietly.
Rain keeps falling.
“You said they made people nervous.”
A weak smile tries to form, but it doesn’t stay.
“I still don’t understand why.”
Silence spreads through everyone behind me. Then I speak again, softer.
“You promised we would watch summer fireworks together.”
My fingers tighten slightly.
“…You lied.”
My voice breaks on that word, but I don’t stop. I turn away.
No final speech. No ceremony. Nothing else.
I leave the funeral like it doesn’t belong to me anymore.
…
Days pass. Then more.
The palace changes without noise.
Meals are brought, but they stay untouched. Meetings are canceled without explanation. Papers pile up until no one wants to move them anymore.
I don’t leave my room.
I sit near the window most of the time.
The wedding robes are still there. Folded. Never worn again after that day. My sword leans against the wall like it is waiting for something I am not going to do.
A maid knocks softly.
“Your Majesty…”
I don’t answer.
“You should eat something.”
Still nothing.
Her voice lowers a little.
“…Lady Yue Xin would be worried.”
A cup hits the wall before she can finish. It shatters.
She flinches and steps back.
Silence returns.
Then I speak.
“…Leave.”
She leaves quickly. I look out the window again. I remember her laughing. I remember her scolding me for skipping breakfast.
I remember her voice in the garden, calling my name like it meant something simple.
Those memories don’t feel warm anymore. They just hurt.
…
Ravel enters without waiting.
“Eat.”
I don’t look at him. He places food on the table.
“Eat.”
Still nothing.
General Ron comes in after him.
“You look terrible.”
No response from me. Mizuno stands near the door. Watching. Not interrupting.
Ravel finally loses patience.
“Say something. Anything. Yell at me. Hit me. Just stop this silence.”
I slowly look at him.
“…For what?”
His expression tightens.
“I should have noticed something was wrong. I should have protected you better.”
General Ron clenches his fists.
“I couldn’t stop the assassins.”
Mizuno lowers her head slightly.
“…I failed too.”
The room goes quiet again.
Then I speak.
“…She asked me to kill her.”
No one moves.
“I told her we would find another way.”
A small laugh escapes me. Not real. Not alive.
“…But in the end…”
My voice breaks.
“…I still killed her.”
That sentence stays in the room longer than anything else.
Ravel wipes his face quickly.
“…You loved her.”
General Ron nods slowly.
“And she loved you.”
Mizuno looks at me.
“That part was real.”
I stare at the floor for a long time. Then I whisper.
“It wasn’t enough.”
…
Outside the palace, the kingdom talks.
Tea houses are full again, but not with celebration. Markets are louder, but not with joy.
People speak in half sentences, like they are afraid of being wrong.
“I heard black smoke came out of her body…”
“No, it was butterflies…”
“The Black Veil did something to her…”
“Maybe the king is cursed…”
“Don’t say that.”
“But what if it’s true?”
The fear spreads faster than truth ever did.
In the council hall, Minister Zhao slams his hand down.
“Enough. We are not letting rumors control this kingdom.”
A noble frowns.
“The people are afraid.”
Another adds quietly.
“They blame the king.”
Zhao adjusts his glasses, voice steady but sharp.
“Then remind them who ended the wars.”
The noble hesitates.
“…They remember.”
“Then make sure they do not forget,” Zhao replies.
But even as he speaks, it is already changing.
Fear doesn’t listen to reminders.
…
Night comes with thunder.
I walk into the throne room alone. It is empty. No voices. No guards. No noise. Just space.
The decorations from the wedding are gone. Everything feels like it has been cleaned too thoroughly, like someone tried to erase a day but couldn’t erase what came after it.
I stand in front of the throne.
I remember sitting here before. Thinking I had reached something important.
I remember Yue Xin standing beside it once, laughing at me for looking uncomfortable in it.
“You always sit like it is too big for you,” she said.
A faint smile appears. Then disappears quickly.
I sit down now. Nothing feels the same. No pride. No satisfaction. No peace.
Everything I worked for is still here. The kingdom is safe. The wars are over. People are alive.
But inside me, there is nothing that responds to any of it. Because she is not here. And without her, everything else feels like it lost meaning without asking permission.
I stand again. I take the crown from my head. I look at it for a long moment. Then I place it on the throne. Not gently. Not angrily. Just… finally.
Footsteps come from behind.
“Your Majesty?”
Mizuno stands at the entrance. I don’t turn fully.
“…Take care of them.”
Her eyes widen slightly.
“What are you planning?”
I look past her, toward the dark sky beyond the windows.
“I need answers,” I say quietly.
My hands tighten.
“If there is even the smallest chance…”
A pause.
“…that I can see her again…”
My voice lowers.
“…then I will take it.”
I walk past her. No crown. No throne. No title behind me anymore.
Only the storm outside waiting.
The king of Nanshi disappears into the rain.
And far beyond the borders, where maps stop being clear and history becomes uncertain, something ancient stirs under an old tree that has not moved in centuries.
Like it has been waiting for this moment longer than anyone alive remembers.
- Writer
