To Kill a Werewolf King

Hawke Hates Me

Apollo

“Uhh… Come again?” I ask the little girl standing before me.

She’s taller than I thought she'd be.

When did that happen?

Oh, she’s speaking.

“Help me kill John Michaels. He murdered my parents. I’m the greatest spy in all of the known world and I still don’t f.ucking know why.”

I’m not f.ucking telling her.

Are you gonna tell her?

No, don’t. It’ll be better if she learns on her own.

Petty games, taking a life for your own personal gain.

“I’m sorry love. I wish I could help you, but I can’t. You know I can’t get involved. It’s against the rules, babe.” I sigh, hoping she understands when the truth comes to light. I hate being a f.ucking God sometimes. All these rules and limitations.

Like, my girl here needs help, why can’t I just f.ucking help her? I know I haven’t been around much, at all, but I visited her frequently enough in her dreams when she was younger to help fend off the stress-induced nightmares she’d started having… until Thomas.

Little f.ucker had stolen my time with her for himself. I know he didn't know I was visiting her dreams and I couldn’t visit every Gaian night, but still.

That was my time.

“A, please help me out here. Somehow, someway, help me get my revenge, so I can set out to getting Tommy back. Please.” She says seriously, looking me right in my face.

I hesitate when I am reminded of what her end goal is, and I want to urge her to not do what I know she's going to do, but there is no point. I've already argued about it with her once and I know she won't cave. I watch as she pushes her raven hair away from her face, forcing those big baby blues as wide as she can and pushing out her bottom lip

Damn her!

She knows how to get me every time.

“Ugh. Enough. Fine.” I sag my shoulders in defeat and roll my eyes. I don’t know why I decided to listen to this girl’s prayers when she first reached out. Maybe it was because it has been so long since I heard someone so young reach out to me in genuine need of assistance. Most just want better skills, blessings and what not.

But after I laid my eyes on the girl, seeing her staring out her bedroom window, completely alone, I decided I would step in. Zeus gave me a tongue lashing, but Leto told me she was proud of me. I didn’t do it for her to be proud. There was something off about the young wolf. Something I’ve spent the last ten weeks trying to sort out.

Oh, yeah. It’s only been ten f.ucking weeks for me here in Olympia since I dropped her off and warned her about her choices. It wasn’t meant to be foreboding. There is no prophecy that I’ve read so far about a raven-haired girl, but I wanted her to understand she could either f***k up her whole life or have a great one based on her choices. Visiting her nightmares was roughly between seven and ten minutes here.

“Great!” She exclaims, wrapping her arms around my torso and squeezing the life out of me. I return the favor, giving her a swift kiss on the forehead. Although I stopped visiting her dreams weeks ago in my time, I hadn’t stopped reaching out to her.

Occasionally, I’d reach out to her mind directly, speaking to her. Not reading her mind, but speaking to her consciousness. She knew I was always around, always looking out for her. She always knew the difference in the time zones. She is always so damn shocked when I remind her. I mean, I do get it. It’s easy living as a Gaian to forget that one year is equivalent to roughly one week in Olympia and Asgard.

Over the last ten weeks, as I mentioned, I have found nothing relating to the weird aura that permeates the air around Hawke. I’ve tried getting in touch with Selene, but she is still mad at me for providing the poison to humans all those years ago. I wonder if she’ll ever forgive me. They all deserved their deaths. If Artemis had found out, it would not have been near as swift.

Hell, I did Selene a favor.

She owes me one.

“Alright, alright, enough of that.” I say, pushing her away from me. The happiness and confidence she radiates is positively addicting. I know I’m lucky to be on the receiving end of it. I might not have realized how grown she was until I finally laid eyes on her physically again, but I’d been keeping an eye out and watching her grow through my crystals all this time.

I saw how grief stricken she’d become after Tommy died. I know the rage, the cruelty, the violence she is capable of. I have seen the cold exterior of Hawke, The Nightshade, and the warm center of Hawke, the woman. I have seen her use every weapon, including her body, to her advantage. She has made me more proud than she will ever imagine.

Still…

I need to know what’s different.

The crystals have been no help, refusing to give way to Hawke’s future, no matter how hard I push or how gently I coax.

That honestly scares me more than anything. I haven’t felt fear in centuries. It’s an uncomfortable feeling and I need it gone.

So I need to figure it out.

Selene is going to f.ucking help me.

“I need to consult with Selene first.” I tell her after having thought it all through. Her smile immediately drops into a sneer. I know she’s not fond of the Moon Goddess, or any of the other Gods of Olympia besides me, but she’s the only one who I can turn to at this point.

“What do you need from Selene?” She says her name with such irritation it borders on venom. I know that Selene has never been forthcoming in her guidance, and has been picky about who she guides all her life. I don’t know if Selene has ever guided Hawke, but I know Hawke believes she’s been abandoned by her.

“There are some questions I need to ask her. Give me a week. That’s roughly five hours there. I’ll get in touch with her, and then I’ll meet you at the spot or your apartment, okay?” I say, rubbing my hands up and down her arms and giving her a gentle smile, hoping she’ll just trust me. It’s a long shot, I know.

Her hesitation is not unexpected, neither is the way her eyes roam all over my face and then the way they pierce through mine, inspecting for lies. But there are none. I have never lied to her.

Just omitted things.

I have to, I’m a f.ucking God.

“Ugh. Fine.” She agrees, rolling her eyes and crossing her arms, clear signs of her displeasure. I’ll take it though, because I don’t want to seek forgiveness later. Not when I know that involving Selene will make me lose her trust if I didn’t tell her first. All the other s.hit I have to keep is already gonna be pushing the limits when I’m finally able to spill. I’m just going to have to hope she’ll understand that I am literally bound to not speak of the things I see, hear and know.

“Okay. In the meantime, don’t do anything rash. Do your job, do it well as you have for the last three years, and continue to prove your undying loyalty to him. If anything, and I mean, anything, happens in the next week, reach out to me. You clearly know how to.” I looked pointedly at the old runic Trapping Circle around us on the floor.

She smirks confidently, and it makes me chuckle, shaking my head. Yeah, she knew exactly what she was doing. Get me here by force and make me stay by force until she gets what she needs.

F.ucking she-wolf.

Stubborn as an ox this one.

“Also, no visiting anyone.” I state, looking directly in her eyes and raising a brow.

“I won’t. I’ll stay home like a caged bird the whole week, no worries.” She says, so flamboyantly it’s obvious she’s mocking me.

“Hawke. I’m serious. Not visiting anyone.” I state again, unwilling to let this go. She looks right at me and I know the urge to smirk and be sassy is playing at the edge of her lips and brain. I decided to wait her out. See what happens next.

“Apollo, I don’t even know anyone! I have no friends!” She exclaims, melodramatically, throwing her head back and then looking at me as if I should know that. But I know better. And she knows exactly who I mean. I mentally push my intent towards her, knowing she can’t help but comply.

As an Alpha herself, she bares her teeth, but as a lesser being, she also bares her neck in submission to me. This is a first for her, being dominated by power she can’t resist. And I know she’s gonna be pissed as hell that I did it to her.

But she needs to stay on Gaia.

End Stop, as she likes to say.

I reel my intent back in and she takes a deep breath. I know that a God’s intent can feel suffocating to lesser beings, and I’d never have used it on her if it wasn’t for her own damn safety. I’m not ready to put the f.ucking bull in the china shop yet. She needs to wait. I close my eyes to take a breath myself, knowing what's coming next.

“What. The Fu-ck. Was That. Apollo?”

Yeah, she’s angry.

I opened my eyes and instead of seeing the rage written across her face as I expected, I was greeted by The Nightshade. The cold, calculated, ruthless assassin. I’ve seen this look through the crystals, I know the kind of mental state she goes into when she becomes this person. She’s filled with nothing but pure, unadulterated, wolven madness.

It’s a wolf’s last ditch effort to survive. An animalistic, instinctive defense mechanism that consumes the isolated wolf, causing him or her to give in completely to their feral side. It mostly happens to rogues who’ve been exiled, though a few have been known to succumb to the madness even when surrounded by a pack.

I have never seen the madness displayed in such a controlled manner, but I watched her as she learned to harness that hatred into a weapon, just as she did with everything else after Tommy died.

F.uck.

Hawke hates me.

“I…” I started to respond but then, like a f.ucking lightening bolt, the color of her aura hit me and I knew I couldn’t apologize. If I had never used my intent on her, I would never have seen such an aura. I stared at it, completely transfixed by the movement, unable to wrap my head around what I was seeing.

“Hawke. I need to get to Selene. I have to go. I’m sorry. We’ll finish this late.” I say, raising my hand to whisk her back home.

“Apollo! Don’t you dare - !”

Silly girl.

I chuckle as her voice echoes around the abandoned warehouse she summoned me to. She should have remembered the Trapping Circle would only bind me to this spot for three hours.

Her time, of course.