Whispers After Midnight

CHAPTER THREE: “I NEED TO ESCAPE.”

The smell of cigarettes woke me from my nightmare.

After many years, why was I still having the same crappy dream?

I wrapped my hand around my neck, the same spot I was being choked in my dream and I shivered at how cold my fingertips were. I tuned to the right and stared at my reflection in my half broken mirror.

I look like crap.

“I should cut my hair.” My hair was already getting past my hips and maintaining long hair was stressful. I have kept my hair in the same way since middle school and now that I am in college, it is still the same.

I dragged myself out of my bed and arranged the sheets. I looked around my room that only contained a bed, a study table, a chair and a broken mirror. That was everything I owned, the only treasure I ever had. The pink walls were blank, the color being the only thing that indicated that I am female.

There is no picture frame of myself or anyone else, nothing was really worth keeping a picture for. Even when I graduated from high school, the only picture I took was with my best friends. I didn’t bother to keep it because, I knew that it would be pointless, mother would destroy it if she ever saw it.

After having my bathe, I hurriedly dressed up for school, putting on a black short skirt and a black shirt that I made sure to cover my hand. I can’t afford for anyone to see the burn marks. I place my hair in a messy bun and smile slightly at my reflection. My green eyes seems to be empty and my once vibrant red hair seems to have dulled.

I’m falling apart slowly and the only thing that seems to be holding me in place is the assurance that I will soon escape. By the end of this year, I’d have saved up enough money to move out. That has been my lifelong dream and, the only motivation I needed working two jobs while trying to keep up with lectures. Not every 20 year old could keep up.

My mother looked up the moment I walked into the sitting room, with cigarettes in hand and she glared at me openly. “Rhea you came home late yesterday. Who were you whoring yourself to this time?”

I looked at my mother with pure disdain. How the hell did this woman give birth me? I loath her.

“I had a nightshift at the store. Someone has to pay the bills for us to keep living you know. And when the adult is not functional, the child has to step in.” I muttered sarcastically as I looked in disgust at the mess around me.

I had come home very late last night and everywhere was too dark for me to see how messy the house was. I was even too tired to do anything even if I did see it, the two jobs I did was not exactly rest friendly.

Beer cans and cigarettes covered what little space there was and shreds of broken bottles could be seen alongside paper bags and fast food. And was that used condoms?!

“Mother what happened here?” I asked although I knew the answer to that perfectly. My mother had obviously brought one of her many men over and they have the time of their lives while I slave away to cover the bills.

If not for the fact that I already knew who my father was, I’m pretty sure I’d never know because she can’t keep her legs closed.

“You’re wasting your time Rhea. You nag a lot for someone your age, before you know it you’ll have gray hairs.”

And whose fault would that be?

“Mother, is it too much to ask you to at least let this place look like it’s inhabited my humans and not animals.” I asked as I proceeded to clean up the mess, placing the trash in a bag.

“It seems I gave birth to a professional cleaner, at least that’s the only way you’re useful.”

I rolled my eyes, slightly surprised that my mother could make a coherent statement even though she had drank her livers out.

Once I was done cleaning, I glanced briefly at my mother who sat quietly on the couch, staring outside. “I’m going mother.” I muttered, audible enough for her to hear me. When she gave no indication of a reply, I gripped unto my bag and proceeded to walk outside.

“When are you going to die?”

Her words stopped me in my tracks and, my heart tightened at the reality of my life.

When she saw no indication of a reply from me, she continued. “You disgust me, just like your father, working yourself to death. Just die!” Her voice raised. “I wish I never gave birth to you, you were my only mistake.”

I remain silent even though I have the urge to scream but I know it would amount to nothing. “Your food is in the fridge, mother.” I muttered before I walked out of the door, ignoring her screams at me.

A bottle landed on my shoulder, and shattered at the impact but I didn’t stop walking, even though I wanted to cry from the pain. This is nothing compared to the amount of physical pain I have been through.

The moment I got to school, I headed straight for the bathroom and inspected the spot I was hit. “I pray it doesn’t scar.” I pulled down my sweater, slightly disgusted at the marks that could be found all over my body, an indication of a mother’s love to her child.

“Hey Rhea.”

I turned to my left and frowned at the blonde girl that was smiling at me. She looks oddly familiar, what is her name again? Why did everyone have to look so damn familiar in this place?

As if she could read my mind, she stretched out her hand. “It’s Chloe, from the news team.”

“Oh.” I said, remembering her. “I’m so sorry, I’m quite bad with names.” I smiled apologetically and leaned back, flinching from the pain that shot through my body.

How long had she been here? Had she seen the bruises on my body?

Chloe smiled brightly and gripped my hands . “So what do you say?”

I recoiled at the sudden contact but I didn’t remove my hands, worried that I would offend her further. “Can you run it through to me, I have a bad memory.”

That was a blatant lie, I have a good memory, I’m just selective at what I choose to remember. I could faintly recall when Chloe approached me and what she was saying but, I zoned out when I saw the amount of split ends and the fact that her outfit was mismatched. Like who the hell pairs red, green and yellow?

At least she looks normal today.

I signaled for her to keep quiet for a moment and pointed towards the door. “Can we talk outside the toilet, I don’t quite enjoy the smell of body waste and fluids .”

“Silly me, after you.” She stepped aside, allowing me to pass through.

I made my way outside and stepped into the hallway that seemed to be bustling with energy. Why was everyone so excited for a Monday morning?

“I wish everyone would just disappear.” I whispered to myself.

“Is that your wish?”

I smiled slightly at the words of my best friend. “When did you get to school?” I looked at his bed hair and his outfit. “You rushed out didn’t you?”

Perry placed his hands on his mouth and gasped in feigned surprise. “Rhea are you psychic cause why do you always seem to know what I do? Or wait,” He leaned closer to me and his blue eyes lit up in excitement “perhaps do you seem to know everything because you’re madly in love with me?”

I chuckled at the thought and pushed him away. “You wish.” Perry and I have been best friends since junior high and since we ended up in the same school, the relationship continued.

Perry’s eyes seemed to sparkle as he looked at me. “Darling, if you want I can make it real.”

“Ehen, am I interrupting something?”

I looked at Chloe and shook my head. She was still here? She barely has any presence “No you’re not.” I answer.

Perry placed his hand on my shoulder and I tried not to show my discomfort, I can’t have him notice that something was wrong with me. “You are interrupting something.” He playfully replied to her question. “What can we help you with?”

I struggled to remove his hand from my shoulder, glaring at him in the process. “We were talking about the news stuff.”

“Yes yes, I’d like to interview Rhea whenever she’s not busy. It’ll be a pleasure to have you.”

I eyed the girl and wondered why she was so invested in me? If she knew how my life was outside school, would she still be saying the same thing? “I’m not sure if I’ll be worthwhile Chloe but I’ll think about it.”

Chloe smiled brightly and was about to say something when a loud shriek was heard down the hallway. “What the heck?”

I turned towards the direction of the shout and noticed that some students were coming towards my direction.

A red-faced girl was being dragged by the ear and a group of girls trailed behind her. They stopped at what seemed to be her locker and they pushed her hard on the metal.

I grimaced at the pain that the girl was in, I had enough experience from physical abuse to know that it hurt.

“You fat f**k! How dare you speak to my boyfriend?”

I looked at the brunette girl that seemed to lead the gang and groaned when I realized that it was— Anna.

Anna and her friends took turns to slap the girl, laughing as the girl cried in pain. No one dared to interfere because they knew what it meant—standing up to Anna Delve, meant an opposition against one of the elites in school.

“That bitch.”

“She had it coming.”

“Ew, how could someone like her try to even sleep with someone’s man.”

“She deserves to be bullied.”

“She deserves to die.”

I squeezed my hands at the disgusting comments from the crowd who seemed to be enjoying everything.

This was sickening, they were all sickening.

Nothing had changed since high school, this was the order of the world —the strong trampled on the weak.

“I’m out of here.” I muttered to Perry and walked away from the scene, not bothering to see if he was following me.

But who am I to judge everyone? I am just like them, a bystander that will not be involved in anything unnecessary. Involvement leads to attachment and attachment, leads to sorrow. Surely I know this more than anyone?

The bruises on my body is an indication that my problems are numerous and the gray hoodie in my closet is an indication that attachment will only lead to a broken heart.