The King's Mistress

Chapter Three

(Aya)

I am a shell of the girl I once was. I stand before the ornate mirror, watching the woman behind me twist knots into my corset. My lungs ache, each twisting yank of those strings snatching what little breath I had from me. Her eyes flash with a hint of concern but she says nothing. I bare the marks of Father’s wrath. He’d taken a horse whip to my flesh, something reserved only for slaves or servants who did not know their place. It was not a fate one would expect the daughter of a noblewoman to endure. Alas, here I was. 

The girl threading those damnable laces doesn’t comment on the lash marks. She continues on with her work, knowing it is not her place to speak on such things.  The girl behind me does not wish to hear of my woes. I am sure she had those of her own. It is hard to miss the barely hidden glances of envy that greet me with every look into the mirror. She thinks I'm lucky. 

I study her in the mirror the same as she does me. Her face is plump, the rest of her seeming to match. Her eyes are darker, her hair plain. Oh, how I wished to be as plain as she. Vain as it may sound, I have never and will never be considered a plain woman.

The dress I am forced to wear that night does nothing to hide my beauty from the world. The fabric shimmers in the faint candlelight. It is quite a lovely dress...far lovelier than I had ever been granted the privilege of wearing since that dreaded night all those years ago. I shiver once again at the memory. The girl behind me mistakes said shiver for one of anticipation.

“Patience, love. You’ll get yer chance at the King.”

Is it wrong that I feel this nearly overwhelming desire to backhand her? I do not, of course. Such an action would be considered most improper. Her voice holds a certain tone that I am all too familiar with. She’s judged me already. In her eyes, I am no better than the common prostitutes that give themselves to whatever man has enough coin to afford them. I bite my tongue. I am in my Aunt’s house and she will disapprove of the words I currently wish to spew to this vile creature behind me.

As if on cue, the door behind us creaks open. My Aunt steps inside. She’s dressed in similar fashion. Her gown is a darker shade of burgundy, as if to not outshine me in any fashion. The girl behind me leaps into action, removing herself from my Aunt’s path. The elder woman makes her approach, eyebrow c****d. Her eyes sweep over my form. 

“I know this is not what you would have wished for yourself.” She sighed after a moment of pause, “Alas, as women, we must play the cards we are dealt.”

Her words do nothing to ease the dull ache that has taken residence in the pit of my stomach. The only solace I take in my current predicament is the fact that I will be free from father's judgmental eyes and hard hands. The King requires all mistresses to reside at court, to make his access to them easier. I shall only be exchaining one prison for another. 

I am to meet the King tonight. A shudder runs over me. If he accepts me, my fate will be sealed. If he rejects me, well that is a bridge I pray I will not have to cross. If not chosen, Father has made it perfectly clear that I will no longer be welcome beneath his roof. I am caught in the swift current of a rapid river, barely able to keep my head above the waves. There is no escape. 

A ball is being held with a specific purpose; to find the King a new mistress. Lady Catherine had been banished. It was an odd thing really. I had been sent here days before the rumors had spread of her departure. Almost as if this had been planned. But how could one plan such a thing? My Aunt spoke of how it was quite common for Kings to have more than one mistress. Perhaps that had been Fathers original intention but, now, that is no longer the case.

Per my Aunt's direction, I slowly slip into a silky ember dress embroidered with gold lace. It is more material than I am used to wearing but feels surprisingly light. It hugs my small frame very well. I  give my Aunt's maid a twirl to amuse her, feigning some interest in this charade I am being forced into. Under any other circumstances, I might have felt a twinge of excitement. But my soul feels empty. I plaster a fake smile across my face as my Aunt enters the room.

"You look simply delightful!" She croons, laying a reassuring hand on my shoulder. I can see the greed flash beneath her dark eyes. She is much like Father, her brother. She desires nothing but power. Having no children of her own, she leeches from others what she cannot obtain for herself.

Her eyes travel to the marks that bruise my back. They appear slightly faded but still reveal the true nature of the man who called himself my father. Her eyebrows pinch in a look that almost mimics sadness. She inhales sharply. Her lips part as if to speak. She does not. Instead, she sets her to work, pulling and twisting my hair into a painfully tight bun. I press my lips into a firm line, avoiding her gaze in the mirror. I did not wish for her to see the unshed tears that now threaten to spill forth.

Come now. The carriage is waiting." She instructs, arms wrapping around my shoulders. She leads me from the small bedroom.

As we descend the stairs, I take note of her extravagantly adorned dress. She is intending on accompanying me to the ball it would appear. Though I don't much care for her, a small wave of relief washes over me. At least there will be one semi-friendly face among the ocean of sharks that are there for the very same reason as I.

The butler opens the door, ushering us from the house. The carriage looms before us. My heart flutters as I climb in. Sweat drips down my spine as she climbs into after me. The carriage lurches forward. She studies me for a moment. She reaches forward, clutching my hands in hers.

"Listen well, my child. There will be those that will fill your head of rumors about the King. You mustn't believe everything you hear. The King does have a temper, I will admit. But if you are chosen, all you must do is show him loyalty and respect and he will treat you as a queen. You will want for nothing."

Those words should comfort me but they fill me with even more dread. What if he did choose me? What if I could not bare him a son? What if I could not please him? My mind races with more "what if's." My stomach churns. I feel as if I am going to be sick. I push all the doubts and questions down, plastering yet another fake smile across my lips. 

I'm drowning. My breathing becomes shaky. I sit back in my seat, closing my eyes for a moment. How has my life gotten to this point? How had I allowed myself to be brought into this position? A King's w***e may be worth her weight in gold but she is still a w***e. What would that make any children I have? How could I ever face his Court with that title weighing over my head.

When I force my eyes open once more, we have arrived. The castle looms before us. Clutching the drivers hand, I allow myself to be helped down. There are a flutter of women currently flocking towards the main entrance. I receive a few fierce stares. Many of these girls are older than I. Some by a few years, others by a few decades. There are but a few men in attendance. Most hold their heads high, proud almost of their current situation. 

"His Highness prefers those that have already felt a man's touch." Aunt explains without necessity, appearing at my side like a ghost, "He will undoubtedly notice a girl of your... youth." There is a pause, almost as if she had chosen to speak a different word than what she intended. 

She did not say the word but I heard it nonetheless. I held no experience. Unlike many of the women sautering forwards, I withhold a certain innocence that these women had lost long ago. Shivering, I force myself forward. I keep to the back, taking pause just before the castle gates. I take a step back, heart racing. I cannot do this, I cannot force myself to lie with him.

"Now is not the time for hesitation." My Aunt hisses in my ear, gripping my elbow tightly. I blink away unshed tears, lower lip trembling. A few sympathetic eyes drift in my direction but no one intervenes. She forces me through the large golden doors, sealing my fate once those doors close behind us.