The lover in me

My crush

Juvia's pov:

Orientation day drained most of my mental energy. Today's the first class.

100 students are in my batch, they are divided into 4 sections (A,B,C,D)

Section -A contains native students.

Section-B contains both native and foreign students.

Section -C & D contains foreign students.

I'm in section B, there's 13 girls and 12 boys among this only 10 boys are from neighbour country.

Now back to lecture class. Everyone was talking with someone. Then a teacher came, she will be teaching us Anatomy. She asked us our name and previous college and then the class began. We wrote and wrote, she showed us different slides and told us to copy them. She was showing slides and lecturing at the same time. 

My inner dialogue- we are all writing and writing,  how can we understand the topic if we can't listen to what she's saying, this is a modern age, she could just gave us the slides through email or something.

It didn’t take long for me to feel sleepy because the lecture was boring. When i am at the end of my patience or i am too bored, i start day dreaming. As long as i can stay awake, it’s fine by me.

I started to day dream about my soul mate. I was called "hopeless romantic" by a lot of my friends. I'm not a play girl nor do i have a crush when i see a good looking guy. I hardly show any interest. I am looking for a connection, a pull. Whenever i see a guy infront of me, i see an imaginary large sign board on the guy's face which says "brotherly particle/ someone else's future husband". I can't help it. I made myself think like that since i was little to prevent me from having too many crushes too much. I wanted to have limited crushes, and keep all of my first times for my husband.

By limited crushes, i am a healthy human girl, so i do have a crush. Unfortunately, i can't tell it to my brother.

Meet my elder brother, his name is John. He is 6 years older than me, he studied in pharmacy. He has short black hair, dark brown eyes, bright skin, build up body, almost a foot taller than me. Between me and my brother, he is the good looking one. Girls like him, boys like him, my female friends like him, even my cousin who is 4 years old likes him. He has many friends, among them, there's this one guy i liked. 

BOOM! Here it is!! I have a crush on my brother's best friend!! 

Now how did this happend? I don't know. It just happend one day. My brother asks me if i have a crush on someone, if i do, who is it. I can't tell him the truth. So i end up saying i have zero crush. 

Now, my crush, his name is Ace Walker. He is 6 feet tall, with broad shoulders, muscles on the right places, short brown hair, black eyes, he wears glasses, you can see dimples when he smiles which makes him look more attractive and adorable in my eyes. 

I first met Ace on a parents meeting when we were kids. Ace and my brother were in the same college, Ace has two younger brothers, he looked as cute as a teddy bear. I didn’t think much about it at that time.

Ace's mother, Mrs, walker, is an interesting character. She is a very lucky person. She won a lot of lotteries in her life. If she buys 6 loterry tickets, she will win 5 out of 6. She wanted to have a daughter of her own but all she had was three sons, so, she used to dress her youngest son like a girl. Overall, she is a lovely person.

Then, when i grew up, i started to get shy around Ace. Ace came to our house a couple of times. Last time he came, me, being super shy, stayed inside my room and didn't come out to see him. Now i know, i wasn’t only shy but also insecured because of the way i looked.

What was wrong with my look? I had acnes on my face. I was busy with classes and studies most of the time. So doing exercise and other skin care stuff was out of the window. I used to have long hair that came to my waist, it used to take me 30 minutes to get my hair ready before i go out to class. My father didn’t like it, he would always ask me to cut my hair short because it takes that many times. 

My father showed me a calculation, each time, it takes me 30 minutes to brush and braid bun my hair, so if i brush my hair twice a day, it's 1 hour per day, which means  365 hours a year. Then he did more calculation, so the final result was 8760 hours a year or 525600 minutes or 31536000 seconds a year. Anyway, the whole point was that my father wanted me to spend less time with my hair and more time with books.

As a result, my hair got dull, and i got depressed because of too much pressure with exams and classes. I cut my hair short after that.  

Not only did i lose my hair, i gained weight too. Sleeping 5 hours a day, not doing any exercise or sports, and sitting with books helps one to gain weight.

These are the reasons why i felt insecure to meet Ace, my crush. He left this country and went to America for higher studies and jobs. I found his social media id, but i don't have the courage to send him a friend request. What will he think if i do? What if he tells my brother about it? What will i say when my brother ask me why i sent Ace a friend request? I don't know what i will say to any of these questions, nor i want to face these situations. 

All i know is that, i can't meet Ace even if i want to, because he is far away, i can't talk with him either. If my brother ever asks me whether i want to marry Ace or not, i wouldn’t waste a single second and will reply positively with a captial YES!    

I am very much happy with the way i look now. Yes, i was sad and insecure about the way i looked before. But i changed all of that with regular work out. I have lost weights. I also did dieting. Now i have my dream figure that i wanted for a long time. Of course nobody knows how i really look under all these clothes that i wear everyday. I wear multiple clothes at the same time and they are all in lose fitting. I do this to hide my real body, make myself look unattractive. It’s because i want to prevent getting unwanted attentions. Only my future husband or soul mate will know the real me.      

My thoughts were interrupted when my class teacher started to ask questions to the students. Fortunately, she didn’t ask me or else i would have made a fool of myself. The bell rang, the class was over, so was my patience. I so want to meet my soul mate, marry him and get the hell away from this college life.