THE BILLIONAIRE'S SECRET NANNY

Chapter 4 The Dinner

Dinner was at seven. That is what the note said. That is what Mr Sterling said.

I spent the whole day trying not to think about it. Trying not to think about sitting at the same table as him. Trying not to think about Lily between us. Trying not to think about how he looked at me in the garden like he was trying to figure me out.

It did not work.

By six thirty I was standing in the kitchen with my hands sweating. The housekeeper told me to set the table in the small dining room. Not the big formal one. The small one. The family one. That made it worse.

Lily was excited. She kept running in circles and telling me that daddy likes chicken and daddy likes rice and daddy does not like vegetables but we should give them to him anyway.

She had no idea.

She had no idea that the man she called daddy was also the man who signed papers two years ago saying I could not be in her life. She had no idea that the woman making dinner was her real mother.

At six fifty five the door to the dining room opened.

Mr Sterling walked in. He had changed. No suit jacket. Dark shirt. Sleeves rolled up. He looked tired. Like he had been in meetings all day and was still thinking about them.

He stopped when he saw me. His eyes went to the table. To the plates. To me.

You did not have to cook he said.

I know I said. I wanted to.

He nodded once and sat down at the head of the table. The chair across from him was empty. That was where I was supposed to sit.

Lily ran in before I could move. Daddy she yelled and climbed into the chair next to him. Miss Carter is going to sit with us.

Mr Sterling looked at me. I looked at the floor.

Sit he said.

So I sat. Across from the billionaire boss. Across from the father of my child. With our daughter between us.

The food was simple. Chicken. Rice. Steamed vegetables. Water. I had made too much because I was nervous.

For the first few minutes no one talked. Only the sound of forks on plates. Lily kicked her legs under the table. Mr Sterling ate like a man who did not taste his food. Fast. Efficient.

Finally Lily broke the silence. Daddy tell Miss Carter about the time you fell in the pool.

I almost dropped my fork.

That was not funny he said. But the corner of his mouth moved. Almost a smile.

Tell her please Lily begged.

Mr Sterling sighed. I was ten. I was trying to impress a girl. I fell in.

Did she like you Lily asked.

No he said.

Lily giggled. Miss Carter do you have a story like that.

All eyes turned to me. My heart jumped.

I uh I said. I once spilled soup on my boss. At the diner.

What did he do Lily asked.

He told me to clean it up I said.

Mr Sterling looked at me. His eyes were unreadable.

You worked hard I guess he said.

Yes sir I said.

The conversation died again. I pushed rice around on my plate. Lily ate happily. Mr Sterling watched her. Not me. Her. Like she was the only thing in the room that mattered.

After dinner Lily asked if we could do puzzles. Mr Sterling said he had work. But then he looked at me.

You can take her to the playroom he said. I will join you in twenty minutes.

Twenty minutes. That meant I had twenty minutes alone with Lily. My daughter.

In the playroom we built a castle out of blocks. Lily talked the whole time. About school. About her toys. About how she wished she had a mom to read to her at night.

Each word was a knife.

Do you think my mom thinks about me she asked suddenly.

I froze. The block in my hand felt heavy.

I am sure she does baby I said.

Do you think she is pretty.

Yes I said. The prettiest.

Lily smiled. Good.

The door opened. Mr Sterling walked in. He did not have his phone. He did not have papers. He just had his hands in his pockets.

What are you building he asked.

A castle Lily said. For the princess.

Mr Sterling sat down on the floor with us. Right next to me. Close enough that I could smell his cologne. Close enough that our arms almost touched.

Show me how he said to Lily.

For the next hour we built. The three of us. A family that was not a family. Lily in the middle. Me on one side. Him on the other.

At one point Lily handed me a block and her hand brushed mine. I looked up and Mr Sterling was watching. Not the blocks. Me.

You are good with her he said quietly.

Thank you I whispered.

He nodded. Then his phone buzzed. He looked at it. His jaw tightened.

I have to take this he said. He stood up and walked out.

Lily looked at me. Is daddy mad.

No baby I said. He is just busy.

But she was already sad. The mood in the room changed.

Ten minutes later the housekeeper came in. Mr Sterling says bedtime routine starts now.

I tucked Lily in. I read her the same book from yesterday. The one about the princess with no mom. When I got to the end Lily grabbed my hand.

Will you stay until I fall asleep she asked.

Of course I said.

I sat in the chair next to her bed and watched her breathing slow down. Watched her eyes close. Watched the little girl who had my hair and his eyes drift off.

When I thought she was asleep I stood up to leave.

Do not go a small voice said.

I sat back down. I am here baby.

She grabbed my finger. You smell like home.

My chest broke. I stayed until she was fully asleep. Then I slipped out and closed the door softly.

The hallway was dark. I was halfway to the guest house when I heard footsteps behind me.

Miss Carter.

Mr Sterling.

He was standing under one of the lights. Hands in pockets. Face serious.

Walk with me he said.

We walked in silence to the garden. The fountain was on. The air was cool.

You handled her well tonight he said finally.

Thank you.

She likes you. She has not liked a nanny in a long time.

I did not know what to say to that. So I said nothing.

Mr Sterling stopped walking. He turned to face me. The light made shadows on his face.

Can I ask you something he said.

Yes sir.

Do I know you.

My blood went cold.

What do you mean I asked.

He studied me. Your face. Your voice. Something about you is familiar.

It must be a mistake I said quickly. I have a common face.

Maybe he said. But I do not forget faces.

The silence stretched. Crickets in the garden. The sound of water.

Two years ago he said. I was at a hotel downtown. For a conference.

My heart stopped.

I met someone there he continued. We spent one night together. After that I never saw her again.

I could not breathe.

She left before morning he said. And I never got her name.

I stared at the ground. I could not look at him.

Why are you telling me this I whispered.

Because when I look at you I am reminded of her I said.

The words hung between us. Heavy.

Mr Sterling stepped closer. Not touching. Just close.

Miss Carter he said. If there is anything you need to tell me. Now is the time.

I shook my head. There is nothing sir.

He watched me for a long time. Then he sighed.

Alright he said. Get some rest. Tomorrow is a long day.

He turned and walked away. Leaving me standing in the garden with my heart pounding and my hands shaking.

Back in my room I could not sleep. I kept replaying it. Do I know you. I met someone two years ago.

He remembered. Not everything. But enough.

At three in the morning my phone buzzed. Unknown number.

The message said. You are playing with fire. Stop before you get burned.

I deleted it.

The next morning I was up at six. Lily was already awake and waiting at my door.

Miss Carter can we make breakfast together she asked.

Yes I said.

In the kitchen we made pancakes. She stood on a stool next to me and poured batter. We laughed when one of them burned.

Mr Sterling came in at seven. He stopped in the doorway when he saw us. Flour on Lily's face. Flour on my hands.

Morning he said.

Morning daddy Lily yelled. We made pancakes.

He looked at me. Then at her. Then back at me.

For a second I saw something in his eyes. Not suspicion. Not anger.

Something softer.

He sat down and ate with us. He even had coffee with us. He asked Lily about her dreams. He asked me if I needed anything for the house.

It felt normal. It felt dangerous.

After breakfast he said. Miss Carter. My office. Ten minutes.

My stomach dropped.

In his office he was behind his desk again. All business.

I have a trip next week he said. Three days. I need you to come with us. Lily wants you there.

A trip I asked.

To my house in the mountains he said. For the weekend.

I nodded. Yes sir.

He looked at me. You seem nervous.

I am just adjusting I said.

He leaned forward. Miss Carter. If you have a problem with this job. If there is something you are hiding. You can tell me.

I met his eyes. There is nothing to hide I said.

He nodded. Good. Dismissed.

I walked out on shaky legs.

That night after Lily was asleep I sat in my room and cried. Not loud. Just quiet tears. Because I was so close. Because he almost knew. Because I was falling into a trap I had set for myself.

Rule number one. Stay away from the billionaire boss.

Rule number two. Hide the fact that his five year old daughter is mine.

Both rules were breaking.

And the worst part was. I did not want to stop.

Chapter 4 End