THE BILLIONAIRE'S SECRET NANNY

Chapter 5 The Mountains

The car ride was three hours. Three hours in a black SUV with tinted windows. Three hours with Mr Sterling in the front seat on calls. Three hours with Lily asleep on my shoulder in the back.

Three hours of trying not to look at him in the rearview mirror.

We were going to his house in the mountains. He called it a weekend reset. Lily called it a vacation. I called it dangerous.

The driver did not talk. Mr Sterling talked even less. Only when he got off calls to ask Lily if she needed water or a blanket.

She was wearing pink pajamas and had her head on my lap. Every time the car hit a bump she mumbled daddy and reached for his hand. He would reach back without looking. Like it was habit.

I watched them and my chest hurt.

The house was not a house. It was a mansion made of wood and glass sitting on top of a hill. Snow on the roof even though it was only August in the city. Here it was cold. Pine trees everywhere. The air smelled clean.

Welcome to the Sterling retreat the driver said as he opened the door for us.

Lily woke up immediately. She jumped out and ran to the front steps. Daddy can we go sledding.

It is not winter princess Mr Sterling said. But he was smiling. A real smile. Not the one he used in the office.

I grabbed our bags and followed them inside.

The inside was warm. Fireplace. Big windows looking out at the mountains. No staff. Just us.

Mr Sterling dropped his keys on the counter. Rules for the weekend he said. No work calls after six. No formal dinners. We eat together. We do activities together.

Lily cheered. What activities.

Hiking. Board games. Sledding on the grass hill he said.

He looked at me. And you Miss Carter are off duty after eight.

Off duty I asked.

Yes he said. You are a guest this weekend too.

I did not know what to say to that. So I nodded.

We spent the afternoon unpacking. My room was next to Lily's. Across the hall from Mr Sterling's. The thought made me dizzy.

At dinner we ate on the big deck outside. Blankets. Hot chocolate. The sun was setting behind the mountains and it was orange and pink.

Lily was telling a story about her class when Mr Sterling interrupted her.

Lily go inside and get the marshmallows he said.

She ran off.

The moment she was gone the air changed.

Miss Carter he said.

Yes sir.

Look at me.

I did. His eyes were gray and serious.

I have been thinking about our conversation he said. In the garden.

My heart started pounding.

About two years ago he continued. About the woman at the hotel.

I put my mug down. My hands were shaking.

Sir I do not know what you are talking about I said.

He leaned forward. The thing is. I think I do know you.

The world went quiet. Only the sound of the fire inside.

Mr Sterling I started.

Let me finish he said. Two years ago I was at the Grand Plaza. I had a meeting that went late. I met a woman at the bar. She was smart. She was funny. She left before sunrise.

I could not breathe.

And yesterday I found something he said. In Lily's baby book. A photo. From the hospital.

I closed my eyes.

In the photo was me. Holding Lily. Three days old. And on the back someone had written the date.

The same date as that night he said.

I opened my eyes. He was watching me. Waiting.

Say something he said.

I stood up. I need to check on Lily I said.

Sit down he said. His voice was not loud. But it was firm.

I sat.

Is she mine he asked.

The words hit me like ice water.

I do not know what you mean I whispered.

Do not lie to me Miss Carter he said. Not about this. Not about her.

Tears started falling before I could stop them.

Lily came running back with marshmallows. She stopped when she saw us.

Why are you crying she asked.

I am fine baby I said quickly. I just got something in my eye.

Mr Sterling did not take his eyes off me.

Lily sat between us. She handed marshmallows to both of us like nothing was wrong.

After dinner we went inside. Mr Sterling said he needed to make a call. He went to his office and closed the door.

Lily and I watched a movie. She fell asleep on the couch with her head on my arm.

When I carried her to bed she was heavy. At the door to her room Mr Sterling was standing.

Can we talk he said.

Now I asked.

Yes.

We went to the kitchen. He poured two glasses of water. He did not sit.

So he said.

So I said.

Is she mine.

Yes I whispered.

The word hung in the air.

Mr Sterling closed his eyes. When he opened them he looked tired. Angry. Hurt.

Why did you not tell me he said.

Because you signed papers I said. Because your lawyers said it was better if I disappeared. Because I was twenty and scared and you were a billionaire who did not want a baby.

He flinched.

I did not know I said.

You should have told me he said.

I was going to I said. But then you got engaged. And then Lily started calling you daddy. And I thought if I told you now you would take her away from me.

He ran a hand through his hair. God Aria.

My name. He said my name.

Do not call me that I said.

Why not. It is your name.

You do not get to say it he said.

Mr Sterling walked to the window. He stood there for a long time.

What do you want he asked finally.

I want to be in her life I said. I want her to know me. I want to not have to hide anymore.

And what about me he asked.

What about you.

What do you want from me.

I did not answer. Because I did not know.

Mr Sterling turned around. We need to figure this out he said. For Lily.

Okay I said.

But not tonight he said. Tonight we sleep. Tomorrow we talk to Lily. Together.

I nodded.

He walked past me. At the door he stopped.

Aria he said.

Do not.

I am sorry he said.

For what.

For all of it.

Then he left.

I did not sleep that night.

The next morning Lily was up early. She wanted to go hiking. Mr Sterling said yes.

The three of us walked up a trail behind the house. Lily in the middle holding both our hands.

She was talking about school and rocks and clouds. Mr Sterling answered her questions. I just listened.

At the top of the hill there was a bench. We sat down. The view was the whole valley.

Lily pointed at the sky. Look daddy a hawk.

Mr Sterling looked up. Then he looked at me.

Aria he said.

Do not do this not here I said.

Lily is old enough to understand he said.

Understand what she asked.

Mr Sterling picked her up and sat her on his lap.

Lily baby he said. You know how you have been asking about your mom.

Lily nodded.

Well Miss Carter is your mom.

Lily went still.

What do you mean she asked.

It means Miss Carter gave birth to you he said. It means she loves you very much. It means we are going to figure out how to all be a family.

Lily looked at me. Her gray eyes were wide.

Is it true she asked me.

I nodded. Tears were falling again. Yes baby. I am your mom.

Lily was quiet for a long time. Then she climbed off Mr Sterling's lap and came to me. She put her little arms around my neck.

You are my mom she whispered.

Yes I said.

I have a mom she said to the mountains. Loud.

Mr Sterling came and put his arm around both of us.

We stayed like that for a long time.

On the walk back down Lily asked a million questions. Why did you leave. Why did daddy not know. Can you read to me tonight. Can you live with us forever.

I answered what I could. Mr Sterling answered the rest.

That night we had dinner inside by the fire. Pizza. Lily's favorite.

After dinner Lily said. Can mom and daddy watch a movie with me.

Mr Sterling looked at me.

Yes he said.

So we did. The three of us on the couch. Blankets. Lily between us.

Halfway through the movie she fell asleep. Mr Sterling picked her up and carried her to bed. I followed.

He tucked her in. He kissed her forehead.

Goodnight princess he said.

Goodnight daddy she mumbled. Goodnight mom.

My heart stopped.

Goodnight baby I said.

In the hallway Mr Sterling and I stood there.

She called you mom he said.

Yes.

And she called me daddy he said.

Yes.

Mr Sterling looked at me. We have a lot to figure out he said.

I know.

Custody. Living arrangements. The press he said.

Okay.

And us he said.

What about us.

I do not know he said. But I want to try. To figure it out.

My breath caught.

Why he asked.

Because when I look at you I do not see the nanny I hired he said. I see the woman from two years ago. I see Lily's mother. I see someone I do not want to lose again.

I started crying.

Mr Sterling pulled me into a hug. It was not planned. It just happened.

I am sorry he whispered into my hair. For everything.

Me too I said.

We stood there for a long time.

The next morning we packed to go home. Lily was in the middle talking about how she had a mom and a dad.

In the car Mr Sterling reached over and took my hand.

We will do this right he said.

I squeezed his hand.

Okay.

When we got back to the city the press was already waiting. Someone had leaked it. Billionaire and nanny. Secret child.

Mr Sterling got out first. He held Lily's hand. Then he reached back for mine.

We walked into the house together.

That night after Lily was asleep Mr Sterling came to my room.

Can I come in he asked.

Yes.

He sat on the edge of the bed.

I do not know how to do this he said. Be a family.

We will learn together I said.

He nodded. Then he leaned in and kissed me.

It was soft. It was careful. It was two years of missing and hiding and fear all in one kiss.

When we pulled back he rested his forehead against mine.

We are going to be okay he said.

I hope so I said.

We are he said.

Chapter 6 End