The NDA Dragon

Chapter 5: The Feeling of Despair

I could feel Jack crying as I hugged him, and I felt a wave of despair flow over me. I hate falling in love just because of this. What people called me is true the Angel of Death because everyone around me ends up dying. But maybe I can save Jack this time. I looked in my bag and pulled out a bottle of medicine I made called Alitrebide. I made it for my friend who had cancer before it worked to cure cancer.

“What’s that, Shina? It looks like a medicine bottle. May I see it?” I handed the bottle to Jack so he could look at it. He studied it and looked confused. “Did you make these? I didn’t know you had pharmaceutical knowledge. Would these work on my cancer? And it looks like you used herbs and plants I’ve never heard of. And there are no chemicals in it at all. How will this work?”

“It should work. You take one pill twice a day for seven days, and the medicine should cure you. It cured a dear friend of mine when she had cancer. I used herbs and plants I got from other realms. I know I should give this to some pharmaceutical company, but I have agreements with each realm to harvest the flowers and plants to make them into medicine for the price of dragon scale armor made from my shredded skin. I shed twice a year, once in the summer and once in the winter. I understand if you think it’s weird. To most people, it is. I’m a bit hungry for lunch, Jack. Maybe we could go out for lunch, but only if you want to.”

“I was going to fix some sushi and miso soup. If you like, but I’m not very good at it. So, can you help me out? I'm sure you know how to do it. I’m going to head out to the kitchen if you want to change into something more comfortable, and then we can go shopping.”

Jack left, and I changed into a silk shirt and my comfy cargo pants. I walked out and saw Jack struggling in the kitchen, trying to roll the sushi. “Here, let me help Jack.” I put my hands on Jack’s hands and showed him the correct way to roll the sushi rolls. “It’s a little tricky if you don’t do it often enough. What got you interested in Asian cuisine?”

“When my mom was alive, you could call her a researcher on mythological creatures and their cultures. Well, we traveled a lot to learn from them. My mom was always curious about where they came from and why they chose earth to make their homes. She preferred to study them from a distance. She wrote down everything she knew about the various creatures. Her favorite creature that she followed throughout the world was a golden Asian dragon with wings. She said it was the only one she ever saw with wings. She always said the wings when it was flying was like stained glass. I think the book and all her research were one of the things my father burned after she died. Though deep down, I know my dad is using her research for hunting and killing non-human races. For the longest time, I tried to convince myself that I was just paranoid. I saw one of my former girlfriend’s family be slaughtered by my father just because they were dwarves.”

“Why does your father hate non-humans? It’s ok if you don’t want to talk about it. I can sense that this conversation is tough for you. It must be hard. I can also sense you’re afraid of your father finding out about us. Especially since you know I’m a non-human, and I must confess being with a pure human is a tad strange to me. I love you, Jack Johnson. I have a reason to believe your mom was fascinated with me when I was in my dragon form.”

Jack turned around and hugged me. I could hear him sobbing, so I picked him up. He was so light it was like picking up a bag of feathers. I carried him to the couch, and I sat down and held him tightly. Flashbacks of me doing this with Soshi when we first married. I couldn’t help but feel pain myself. Maybe I was struggling with Jack’s affection because it reminds me of the affection I got from Soshi. I don’t want to open myself up to that emotional pain I’ve repressed for so long. “Shina? I thought you weren’t affectionate. I’m glad you are holding me like this. I like your tail wrapped around me. Thank you.”

“Are you ok, Jack?” He shakes his head. “It’s ok. I’m here for you.” My stomach growls, and I hear Jack’s stomach growl as well. “Are you hungry?”

Jack looks up at me, “yes, I am. I’m sorry for burdening you with my emotional baggage. I just miss my mom. She was the glue holding my family together. She was also the reason my father never abused me. When she died, my father got violent towards me. You know how abuse victims always try to reason with the abused. At first, I thought he was just grieving, but then I realized he was just a violent man. But it was after I had moved out, I realized that he was abusing my mom, and after she was gone, I was the next one he could abuse. I also realized that my mother’s fascination with non-humans as a coping mechanism. I think she wanted to leave my father, but she was afraid of what he could do to her and me if we did leave him. He’s a resourceful man, and I’m terrified of him finding out about us.”

We both got up and sat at the table with our sushi and soup. For the most part, we ate in silence. Jack looked at me. "Shina? Can we not bring up my family again until I'm ready? I guess family is a complicated subject for both of us, eh. Thanks for listening to me ranting.” I didn’t know what to say. I don’t want to talk about my family because I don’t know my family except my evil uncle Sata.

We finished up eating lunch though it was dead silent. I want to fly tonight, but it is dangerous to fly at all. So, I don’t. But it doesn’t stop me from longing for flight. “Jack, I want to fly, but I know it’s dangerous. Beast hunter numbers are rising at an alarming rate. I know they are shutting down nonhuman clinics, and soon healthcare will be nearly impossible for the general population of mythos creatures. Maybe I’m selfish that I wished the beast hunters Corp would just die out. There’s a reason I tie my wings up in a corset type of thing most of the time that I can only break out of when I’m in my dragonkin form. Yeah, the thing is super uncomfortable, but if you just look at me, you would think I’m an elf. And beast hunters won’t mess with elves because, for the most part, they are harmless. I just can’t keep hiding my wings, and they are already weak, considering I’ve been wearing this thing for over a good portion of four hundred years.”

“Shina, I want you to fly and not live in fear, but some things won’t change. It’s a sad reality that most things will never change. I wished my father would change for the better. I hate him and his savage ways. Anyways, want to help me clean up and then we can go out shopping for your stuff. I might get you something special if you are out. I’m not sure exactly what the special thing will be, but I think I still want to give you something. I love you, Shinatin. Let’s clean up quickly.”

I helped Jack clean the dishes and the sushi mat while Jack wiped off the counters. We spent about 15 minutes cleaning up. I grabbed my purse and my staff. “Shina, what is up with that staff you carry around with you?”

“Well, first off, it’s a family heirloom, but it helps me feel around. If you can’t tell, I am blind for the most part. Most people can’t tell just by looking at me. My horns are often hidden by my hair that allows me to see basic shapes of objects and people through the movements of electrons flowing through the person or objects. I use the staff to feel vibrations, but it can also turn into any weapon I might need with unlimited ammo generated by the magic. So, it’s a tool for my survival and livelihood.”

“Oh, so it’s like a cane for the blind but cooler. So how does it change to weapons? I’m just curious. Magic fascinates me. I sometimes wish I could perform it, but sadly I’m just a boring human man who can’t do anything worthwhile, in my opinion. I sometimes wonder if my mom had any magic in her, but I’m sure if she did, I would have got it when I was born.”

“So, how it works is that I just think about the weapon, and it just appears in my hands, and if it needs ammo, it either shows up on my back where I can grab it, or it appears in the weapons round case. It’s pretty cool, but it can be a little weird to people who don’t understand draconic magic or, some would say, tech.”

Jack had a look of curiosity and amazement at what I tried to explain the best way possible. Still, I know it could have been explained better by probably someone who knew about the staff. I bet there are more uses to this staff, but I only know limited stuff about it. I know I could discover so much more about this staff, but I don’t know how to learn unless I find a teacher or historian of my species. I just have to be patient to understand more.

“Shina, are you ready to head out?” I nod and head out the door. Jack followed me out and locked the door. It was unusual Jack was a peculiar human if I had ever met one, yet there’s something magical about him. In this day and age, to use a key, but Jack did. Maybe he does have magic that he hasn’t unlocked yet. That is a possibility.

We drove to a market in Chinatown. “Jack, why here of all the markets?”

“Well, Shina Chizbit told me that there is a dragon merchant who sells things that you often get here. Like scale moisturizer and homemade soaps. I don’t understand why you need to moisturize or anything, but I would love to learn more about you and your beautiful scales. You grab the things you need and meet me at the ramen place around six pm. Shina, I love you dearly.”

I walked away to get my shopping done. I noticed that Jack walked into one shop that sold little figurines and things like that. I walked down a couple of alleys to my dragon shop. Most people say that where I am going is the black market. Only a few people know about this place, and not even chizbit knows precisely where this is. I like to go to this place alone at all costs.

I walked into The Noodle Tiger, and I knocked on the metal door to the Market of Yore. A slit in the door slid open, and a rough-looking lizard man with a scar across the eye. “Password, elf!”

“The dragon flies in the dim moonlight harvest. Where the moonlight glistens over the scales of the dragons back. A crow flies with the dragon.”

“Welcome, Shinatin Elizabeth Tatiana Tatech.” The door opens, and I step in. Trotat stood even above me. Even at my height at a towering 6’7”, he had a good two feet on me. “Shina, you smell like humans. You started a new job, didn’t you? Some type of police work. You also have a faint smell of demons. You haven’t been messing with them now. Trotat is worried about you. It’s been too long since you came to this part of Chinatown. You may transform into your Nuetarian form if you might. Serphaiph will be excited to see you. He’s been missing seeing you around here. It’s been almost a year since you last were here.”

“You sure are articulate today, Trotat. You are often not so talkative when I show up. Most of the time, you are very quiet and just walk beside me. You were also much smaller the last time I saw you. I’m surprised you are talking now of all times. How is Olath, Serphaiph’s husband? I heard Olath was sick with dragon pox and wasn’t doing too well. But I haven’t heard anything from Olath in a long time, and I’m worried.”

“Olath died a few weeks after he contracted dragon pox. Even the medicine you gave Serphaiph to help with the dragon pox didn’t help much. We both know most adults who get dragon pox have a lower chance of surviving than kids and younger adults. Olath didn’t stand a chance. He’s older than you, and the older you get, the less likely you’ll survive, and it’s awful. Serphaiph has no harsh feelings towards you, and he often asks about you, but it’s been a long time since you were here, and Trotat thinks his depression will get a bit better if he sees you. Trotat is worried about Serphaiph. Oh, we are here. I’ll let you go in yourself.”

On the right was Serphaiph’s tent-like shop called The Whistling Dragon. I walked in and said hello. “Oh, Shina, my dear, you are finally here. I’m so sorry for not keeping you updated with everything. I expect Trotat told you what happened to Olath. I’ve been so depressed I haven’t been able to contact anyone. You know the only reason Trotat only knows about it is he was there when Olath died. Your medicine did ease some of the effects of dragon pox, but it didn’t cure it. Olath died comfortably. He asked where you were. He wanted you when he died, but I couldn’t bring myself to call you. Now I regret not calling you. You were a great friend to both of us, Shinatin, and I think it would have brought great comfort. I have no hard feelings towards you because we both know the adult version of dragon pox is more aggressive than the children’s version, and the chance he would survive was slim. Anyways, what can I help you with, Shina? Do you need more scale cream and those herbs you use to make all of the meds you use to make medicine for the mag communities since the humans refused to give us basic medicines and first aid?”

“I need that and some soap for my hair and body if you have that in stock. I know Olath made them, but I thought he taught you to make them too.”

“He had a secret stash just for you. He kept them where he could get them in your favorite scent, sandalwood and Japanese lavender. You were the only dragonkin who will order them. I won’t charge you for anything today. I’m just glad to see you. Let me grab everything you need, and I throw in some homemade chocolates Trotat has been trying to make. He wants to sell them, so please stop by and tell him what you think.”

Serphaiph disappeared behind a flap of fabric to the back storage room. I could hear the shuffling of boxes and containers in the back. Then I heard a grunt and a soft cry. In a few moments, Serphaiph returned with my items and a small red and gold box. His scales were wet from the tears, and his eyes were still watery. He hands me the box and nods for me to open it. I slowly opened it; I didn’t want to rip it.

Inside the box was a note, a silk dress, and a gold bun holder that looked like me in my dragon form. I read the note first. ‘To Shinatin, I know I won’t be around much longer, but don’t be sad. Serphaiph doesn’t know about this box. I had hidden the soapbox that was only for you. I was hoping I could give you this on your 416th birthday. That’s important for all dragonkin. It means you are starting to transition to adulthood. I was grateful for everything you do for this community. Inside this gift is family heirlooms from my family, and I was supposed to give them to my daughter. Still, you. Serphiaphis. Beast. are more like my daughter than anyone else. And I was never going to have a kid, so I’m giving it to you, my dear. Take care, and if you ever have a daughter, give it to her on her 416th birthday as well. Thank you for being my friend, and watch out for Serphaiph. He’s going to need you more than you know. Take care, kiddo, and let misfortune push you forward. The crow flies with the golden dragon. Love Olath.’ My eyes tear up. I could feel myself about to cry.

“Serphaiph, can I borrow your bathroom to try on this dress and this hairpiece. I want your honest opinion on it.”

“You may. You remember where it’s at. You never have to ask. You are more family than my other customers. You’ve done so much for Olath and me, even when you were a young babe. We love you as a daughter. Now I want to see you in that dress. Go try it on, my dearest friend.”

I headed to the bathroom and tried on the dress, and I put my hair in a tight Japanese-style bun, placed the bun holder on the bun, and then tried on the dress. I put some foundation over my scars and walked out. I could hear Serphaiph gasp with joy.

“You look gorgeous, Shina. The black and bright red cherry blossoms look Amazing on you. They are a bit old fashioned, but for you, it looks stunning. I figured you have a date tonight, and I think you should wear this tonight for your date. It is getting late. You should head out. Where are you going to eat? Sorry, it's none of my business, but I just want to know so I can find you if something goes wrong. I worry about you sometimes, dear.”

“We are eating at The Noodle Tiger right outside of the market, and it’s almost time for the date. I’ll try to stop by more often now I feel a bit better. Stay well, Serphaiph. Goodbye, my friend.”

I walk out of the market and into the restaurant. I tell the waitress, a cute little nekojin, that Jack will be here at 1800 and please tell him I already have a table. The waitress sat me at the table, and it was around 1747. A few moments later, Jack sat down at the table. “I didn’t realize you would be here early, and is that a new dress. I thought you were wearing cargo pants and a silk top. You look gorgeous, though. However, you looked gorgeous in the cargo pants and that top. How was your shopping? Sorry, I’m talking too much again.”

“It’s OK, Jack. I’m not much of a conversationist. It was good. I saw one of my friends. He and his husband have a shop, but sadly it’s just him now. His husband died about a year ago. Dragon pox isn’t something older reptilian humanoids recover from easily. The likely chance of him surviving was meager, and death was likely for his age. I can tell Serphaiph is still struggling to cope with Olath’s death. Olath wanted to give me this dress and hairpiece for my upcoming birthday, but he had died, and Serphiaph found the box when he went to get my soap that Olath had made just for me because I’m the only person who uses that scent. I’m hungry, and I would like to switch the conversation. I don’t like to think too much about things past. And before you say anything bout why haven’t the government created medicines and medical equipment. The government told us that we’re on our own. The government has abandoned us, and the little government assistance they have given our communities are falling apart, and beast hunters get to choose who they allow."

“That is awful. Why would the government do something like that?”

“Also, in many cases, the creatures who are chosen are forced into antimagic collars. If they fight back at any point, their magic is painfully extracted by any means they deemed necessary. That’s why most mythos hates humans. The worst part is when a beast hunter exacts the magic; they absorb it to hurt more creatures. Sometimes an older mythos creature gets close to dying. They can choose another creature or a human they completely trust to gain their power or magic. And to answer the question, the government sees a few creatures like me who are incredibly powerful and punishes the rest of the group.”

We eat and the rest of the week was full of questions about the laws and what the hidden communities are like in reality. I think Jack wants to see those communities, but they won’t be as open as I am. I’ve always been more accepting of humans and connecting with them. I’m excited to head to work on Monday.