BRUISED PETALS

STIGMA.

The next morning I woke up really early and I was about to go have my bath for school. I tried to push away the thoughts of what happened yesterday. It’s Thursday and I have English first, I love English. I was scrolling through my phone when I saw I was tagged to a post on i********:. This is very new for me. I’m not popular and the only friends I have are the guys. I clicked on on it.

It was a picture of the driveway with Godfrey, Matthew and Jordan. I was holding unto my ripped dress, someone took a picture while Jordan was explaining what happened.

Underneath the picture was the message

—I can’t believe this ugly w***e would do just anything to be friends with them or sit at their table. Ripping your own dress for attention is insane—

I gasped as I read it over and over again. This wasn’t what happened. Who would do this to me. I checked the user name and realized it was Maddy. Just like we had JSMG as the most popular guys, we also had the most popular girls. They’re a total of five and they also had a table in the cafeteria. Maddy is their leader, also a cheer captain and most controlling. She has begged to sit with JSMG a couple of times but was declined. She even slept with Godfrey as bribe but he turned her down immediately after. Rumors has it that Godfrey has slept with all of them except Arianna, that’s why he has been trying so hard this couple of days.

I sniffed as my eyes watered. I went back to the post and then to the comment section and saw a lot of hate comments.

—No wonder she pulled up that look at the party. She can’t exactly rip a hoodie—

—I hate all these notice me ‘girls’ with two faces. How valid is her friendship with Steve anyways?—

—No one would hang with someone like her bruh. I wonder how had she tries to satisfy them. Such a wh**e—

My dms started flooding in with hate messages. I cried out loud deleting my i********: in the process.

Elisa wasn’t in the room, she must have gone for her early morning shift. I lay down on the bed and started crying. There is no way I’m going to school. My phone started ringing and I checked the caller ID and saw it was Jordan. Why was he calling me by this time? What does he want? I won’t be getting all this comments if they let me to sit alone. How do I even go to school? The call ended and he called again, I watched it ring but didn’t pick up.

I received a message from him almost immediately and I opened it.

—I know you’re awake. You were last seen on insta few minutes ago—*****Jordan.

I sneezed and cried harder staring at his message.

—Tess answer me or I’ll wake up Steve—

—One last chance, answer me or I’ll pull up at your house—*****Jordan.

I wiped my tears and started typing.

—Leave me alone—****Tessy

— No, so pickup your damn phone—*****Jordan

—Go away Jordan—****Tessy

—Why don’t you tell me that over the phone?—****Jordan

I melted at his last text. My face lit up a little until I remembered it was because I hanged out with them I was in this mess. I should have never gone to that party.

My phone started ringing again, this time I immediately declined.

—Please pick up—*****Jordan

—Stop pretending to care. You hardly even talk to me in school. LEAVE ME ALONE JORDAN and I MEAN IT—*****Tessy

I hated that he could just switch up his attitude towards me. He barely talks to me and it took a lot before he got used to me being around Steve. Just because he rescued me and brought me home; which Steve instructed him to do by the way, doesn’t mean he gets to act like we’re very good friends.

—uhm Ok—*****Jordan

He replied after 5minutes. I stared at his message, I thought he would have said something else if he cared. Maybe a ‘I’m here for you’ or ‘I will always care about you’ but uhm ok? It hurt so much. I turned my phone off and cried as everything came rushing in.

My uncle hitting me, the s****l assault, Gideon, the post, the comments, the DMs. How do I deal with this. It was easier to pretend to be fine when no one cared that I exist. How do I go to school or defend myself? The only real friend I have is Steve. The rest are probably friends with me because of him. I shouldn’t have sat with them to begin with, atleast not as much times as I have. My life was slightly better until I turned up to that damn party. I hate my life. I hate that my parents died. I hate that I’m a burden to Steve.

“Tessy”. I heard Steve scream while running up the stairs. I stood up immediately, ran and bolted the room door. I didn’t want to talk to anyone.

“Tessy”. He knocked gently. “Can I come in? I woke up a while ago and I saw the post”.

I dragged my body to the bed and continued crying.

I heard the door handle move and then he started banging on the door.

“Open the door Tessy”. He screamed. “s**t, what are you doing in there?” I could hear the panic in his voice but I didn’t budge.

“Mummmm”. He screamed.

I heard lazy footsteps and then I heard her voice. I was surprised she was home. She had gone on a work trip. She probably came home very early in the morning after I got home and must be really tired.

“What’s it Steve? I’m honestly so tired”.

“I know, but she won’t open up”.

“Your sister should be at work. Didn’t Tessy go for that party yesterday? She wasn’t home when I returned yesterday”. His mother replied.

“She came home after a while and there is this mean post about her and now she won’t open up the door”.

“What post?” His mother asked and I didn’t hear anything for close to two minutes.

“Why would someone even say something like this?”

“I’ll deal with her in school”.

“No, don’t do anything that would get you in trouble”. His mother said, “Tessy, can you please open the door so we can talk about it?” His mum asked knocking on the door gently.

I sniffed, she has been such a mother figure in my life and has tried her best to keep me safe. I felt bad not responding but I didn’t want to talk to anyone atleast not now.

“Okay, why don’t we do this. Three colours; Red for you’re fine but just want to be left alone. Yellow for I won’t and haven’t done anything stupid. Green for I want to skip school for a while”. She said, “which will it be?”

I replayed the colour in my head quickly.

“Red, Yellow, Green”. I whisper-yelled voice shaking.

“Okay, I’ll call the school and say you’re sick. I could even go to school to report her to the principal. I know you want to be alone but we’re here for you always. Do you want to eat now or later?” She asked.

“Later”. I said hoping she heard me.

“Okay dear”. She replied. “Steve go get ready for school. She wants to be alone”.

“But mum”. He grumbled. “If she isn’t going then I won’t”.

“I’m not giving you a choice. I’ll write a sick note for her. Go and prepare for school”.

I heard their footsteps retreat and I breathe in relief. I stared at the ceiling and tears left my eyes. I might be with them currently but my uncle is my legal guardian. What happens when he comes back? I was wrong to even think my life could be better. I was wrong to imagine a world of happiness. I can’t believe I dressed up that good for the party to be treated like that. Everything is different for me. I dragged my sleeves up staring at the scars on my left my arm and wrist. This one, is all me. I hurt myself as a coping mechanism. I haven’t done it since I moved in with Steve for a while, until my Uncle is back. I looked around the room for a blade but couldn’t find any. I sigh and returned to the bed. I cried myself to sleep replaying everything over and over again in my head. I wonder how fast the post has spread.