My Sister, The Chosen One

Twenty-Nine

Halsey- Bad At Love

Sasha:

I can't believe he said that to me after I just admitted to having actual feelings for him. I pushed the sting back and got out of the car. I arrived along with the others that will be staying with us. Needing a distraction and someone to talk to this about, I headed over to the lab where Breeze and Falcon are having the time of their lives. My ears are burning with the sound of that magik in the room. It's calling to me and I want to know what it is. As of late, there's always a but in almost all my thoughts. This one is making me wait for Elias to make this stupid reveal some grand romantic gesture. Not that I mind, she's going to be stuck in that place for a while if it works. She might as well fall in love with all the reasons why she should stay there.

"Sash, I have the list," she fluttered up in the air and waved the piece of paper over her head excitedly. My worries from earlier kind of faded away. She doesn't seem too different. She hovered over me and let the paper fall. I snatched it out of the air. There are only six names on them.

"That's it?" I asked.

"Mhm," she nodded as she stepped down in front of me. "That's it. Fair warning some of them are-" she paused looking me over. She leaned into me and took a whiff. That's new but kind of adorable in a, she has no boundaries, kind of way. Elias is going to love that. "You smell like you've been around old Airstorm magik,"

"You can smell that?" I asked. She got closer and nodded. "What does it smell like?"

"Pain and suffering," she laughed.

"So, maple syrup?" I asked.

"Exactly and I know you don't like to eat as you say, sap," she's in a great mood for someone who was overthinking her new position in the world when I left a few hours ago. Putting her to bed is not going to be as easy as drugging her anymore. She's going to be able to sniff things out.

"I can't tell you about it. It's a secret," I shrugged.

"That's frustrating," she glared at me. "Okay, well, what are you doing here? I thought you and Elias had a thing,"

"It's over but he stayed to help his sister with something," I informed her as she floated down to the kitchen area. I followed behind her and watched as she began to prepare tea.

"I see," she sighed. "Report: We finished setting up already. Speed of light,"

"You can tap into the speed of light?" I asked taking a seat.

"Not yet," Falcon laughed. "I am glad you're here," he rushed down the stairs and offered me the tablet in his hand. "I've got her first performance charts,"

"Falcon, talk dirty to me," I grinned. They both laughed. He's got everything on here. Vitals, speeds, wing function, height, weight, and blood results. "You guys had a little party while we were away,"

"Well, this is the first light fairy in a really long time," he looked over at my sister. "I'm just as intrigued as the rest of you,"

"Are you okay?" she asked. I nodded not wanting to talk about this in front of Falcon. "Falcon, get out,"

"Aww," he groaned. "Look, we are already neck-deep in s**t I am not supposed to know about any of you. Including the king. I can take the guys not bro-ing out with me because all I hear is their voices when they speak and sexualize them all, but you guys too? Come on. I'm the odd one out here. Give me something or I will go crazy,"

"Fine. You can stay," I rolled my eyes.

"So, what's biting your right-wing?" he asked.

"I told Eric that I care about him and asked him to move here with his family. Then he told me that all I feel is hatred and resentment and that I need help," I sighed.

"Ouch. That hurt my feelings, Sage. I'm sorry," he placed his hand on my shoulder. I shrugged him off but he oddly didn't take it the wrong way. He knows what Elder Redwood said bothered me into frustration.

"Have you maybe considered that he's right?" Breeze asked. Falcon and I looked at one another questioningly.

"Why would you say that?" I asked.

"Come on, Sasha. Everything that's happened. You had everything. You were talented, smart, and beautiful. Heiress of the Airstorm household. You were driven by ambition and creativity. When mom and dad died, you lost everything. Not to mention that you had to grow up at an age where fairies shouldn't have the amount of responsibility that you shouldered.

"When you started making friends and living again, granted it was all illegal, you had to give it up because of me. I never once thanked you for anything. I just asked and you delivered. I never even considered where anything came from. Being forced to do something is hard especially when there is no escape.

"Sure, you've come to terms with it but come on. The anger, the killing, the void. It's not all chance. It happens because of the environment we survive in. You allowed me to thrive to my maximum potential while you suffered in silence. Alone. I wouldn't say you're full of hatred or whatever but you do need to talk to someone who can help you put your mind at ease.

"Maybe you'll be a little less homicidal and you'll learn to let people in. I can't be your only tether to life, Sasha. You are way too special for that. It's beautiful and I am flattered and man do I love you for it. But you need more and if Ericson wants to help you get there, you should let him. If not for him then do it for you,"

"That was beautiful," Falcon sniffled.

"You just ruined our moment," I glared at him.

"Or did the three of us have a moment?" he grinned.

"No, you ruined our moment," I shook my head.

"She's right, Sage. You're the coolest fairy I know and I know your sister. You guys are on a completely different level. You guys aren't bad bitches, you're the queen bitches if you will,"

"We won't," Breeze shook her head. Her expression blanked. Her eyes zeroed in on his and she took a step towards him."Never ever refer to me as a b***h again. It might have become a term of endearment but I will never ever refer to myself as any kind of b***h. I respect myself enough to know that I am a proper lady. A princess. Anything other than that, merits punishment,"

"Whoa," he shrunk back. "Okay,"

"Did you learn that from me?" I asked her. Her face changed again. She grinned widely. Her eyes lit up.

"Yes, did I get it right?" she laughed.

"Hell, yeah," I nodded. "My little blueberry is growing up. I'm going to have to find a new nickname for you,"

"Yes," she made a fist. "Anyway, I can't start my work without the people on that list,"

"What were you going to tell me about some of them?"

"They're criminally insane and or in prison," she shrugged.

"f**k, Breeze. Are you serious?"

"Yeah, think about it. I've created weapons of mass destruction. Things that could devour entire realms. The only reason I'm not in prison is because you had the right sense to join the military and say hey look at what my sister can do. I need the best if this is going to work and these are the best minds in fae history. You said whatever I needed," she sang that last part.

"I did say that," I nodded. "I'll see what I can do,"

"If this is going to work. I am going to need to recruit with you," she tried to add.

"No, you can't hide your wings or all of that," I pointed at her butterflies. "You don't need protecting as long as the world doesn't know what you are. If the council finds out, we're going to have a completely different problem we can't afford to have just yet,"

"Right. What about the six on my list then?"

"If they are what you say they are and I have to get some of them out of prison or asylum, they're going to be bound to this lab and I'm going to be dimming their wings,"

"Would you dim my wings?"

"You're not criminally insane or a criminal in general,"

"Mmm, by your standards. We're just on the right side of the law. You and the Aces and our family. We're all war criminals. We've all done some pretty bad things. You said it's a matter of perspective right? These people are going to help me create the tree the same way your mobster ex is going to help you protect me long enough for me to finish,"

"There's a difference,"

"I don't see it," she shook her head. "Regardless of your intentions, you are what you are now. I've seen the light and I accept it in the form that it comes. You've created the perfect balance. You've taken the darkness and bent it to mimic the light, Sasha. You've taken the worst of the worst and made them believe in good. There is no difference between right and wrong. It's the perspective. The victors decide what morals are and I know you don't want to hear it but you're the one in the lead,"

"You've seen the light," I laughed. "You're self-aware now,"

"I'm always going to need you, Sasha," she smiled. "But things are different now. You're void and I am light. The legend is wrong. You're not here to protect me. It's a battle of strength. You already know that. It's why you've been distant. Ever since I started showing symptoms. When the forest is born again, our wings will be at par with one another and that amount of power is too strong to have in one realm. We'll be together for a while still and will be able to meet halfway. In the mortal realm, where our magik is neutral,"

"I was kind of hoping I could keep that from you for a while but I see you've gone through my extended research on what we are,"

"Duh, the last time you were being this secretive was when we had that big fight. I thought you were still mad at me so I had to ease my worries. I went into the study in your room. It needs some color,"

"I don't do that anymore. You know that,"

"Maybe getting help will help you with your brush thing,"

"I don't want it to," I sighed. She turned around when the kettle began to whistle.

"Tea?" she asked.

"Yes, please," Falcon answered.

"No, thanks. I'm going to bed,"

"Good. You look like you can use some rest,"

"You need to rest yourself,"

"I am going to wait for Elias," she shook her head.

"Suit yourself. Falcon?"

"Are you kidding? I'm staying," he shook his head. "I've been having a lot of fun with her. It's been a while since we've been excited about something we actually like doing,"

"Okay," I smiled at the two of them. "Good night then,"

I let my wings carry me back to the house. Rey's car is here along with some extra ones which means that regardless of his insult, he agreed to come. They're going to be staying in our wing since the others are already occupied. Great. I opened the door and headed over to the stairs without saying a word.

"You're in a mood," Rey called out. I shut my eyes and turned around to look at them. "You okay?"

"No, I'm tired and cranky,"

"Okay," he chuckled. "Will you be inviting anyone else to say with us and is anyone missing?"

"Nope. Lily is staying with Sesshomaru. There is no need to wait for her or prepare anything for her anymore. She texted me," I waved my phone in the air. "Good night,"

"Good night," they all said in unison. This is awkward.

With a single stride of my small wings, I reached my room and stepped down before banging my head on the door. It's going to be very difficult to get some alone time around here. I don't mind it but I also didn't think it would happen this fast. What Bre said didn't make me feel any better. Hatred and resentment? Me? With everything, I've done? There is no way in hell I'm that screwed up. I mean sure, I have a temper. I'm manipulative but hatred? I don't hate anyone. Not even Sess or Aurora. I was mad when I found out but I had already gotten over him. The only thing I hate right now is everything I said and his reaction.

"Hey,"

I groaned letting it become a growl in the back of my throat before I turned around.

"Are you here to tell me what else is wrong with me or can I go into my room and think about all the hatred and resentment I feel in peace?" I shot at him. He tucked his right hand into his pocket defensively.

"I struck a nerve," he averted his gaze, embarrassed.

"No, you struck a nerve the other night when you told me that I was my little sister's enabler. I told you I think about you all day and you spat on me, Ericson,"

"That is the last thing I wanted to do, Sasha," he shook his head. He took his hand out of his pocket. There's something in there. "I apologize for hurting your feelings,"

"Why did you say that?" I demanded.

"Sasha, you didn't say those things to me because you wanted to. You felt obligated to because you don't want to feel the fear you did when the Elder spell was brought up. Everything is a military strategy to you. There is no room for anything else. I know because I lived like that for a very long time,"

"You and I are not the same," I tried to keep my voice leveled.

"I know that. I know what happened to you is a lot different than what happened to me but it doesn't make it any less traumatizing. I love being this close to you. I've wanted nothing more than this since the first time I laid eyes on you,"

"But?" I scoffed.

"What?"

"Drop the but. I've wanted nothing more but-"

"But you need to deal with that darkness inside of you. You know exactly how fairies work. That heat you're retaining. How you can turn the warmest rooms into a walk-in fridge is not normal. Hatred is a deep burning sensation and because you're a-void fairy, you pull in heat and you expel fire. It's not supposed to stay inside of you and you're clinging on to it because you don't think you can live with the natural warmth of your magik. You're cold inside and you're afraid of it. I just want to help you. Even if you decide that you don't want to be with me in the end. I want you to be freed of that coldness, Sasha,"

"I don't hate anyone," I swallowed back the knot in my throat.

"I know you don't. You don't hate them or her. You hate yourself for letting things get this far. You're barely an adult and you've achieved Sage. You don't have the proper training to be what you are. You were tossed out into the cold and you're still there trying to fight your way back. It's nothing to be ashamed of," he cupped my face. "It shows how strong you are. How strong you've always been. You've endured a lot. Let me help you,"

"I think you've done enough for one day," I pulled away from him. He sighed letting his hand drop to his side.

"No, I haven't. It's not going to be enough until you're better. When you're ready, let me know. Until then, I want nothing to do with you outside of our arrangement," he walked past me. I walked into my room and shut the door behind me.

The first time I was ever rejected, it didn't hurt my feelings. I knew that things had burned out prior to that moment and it didn't bother me. In fact, I picked up my phone and I text Rey. I had bumped into him a few days before that on orders in midtown. We exchanged numbers. He started talking about wanting to be part of the next Royal Party and it caught my attention. It was a fleeting pang of rejection. It didn't hurt me in the slightest.

This doesn't feel like that. My chest is tight. My throat is swollen. I can barely breathe. For once, there's no anger. I'm not mad about what he said. He's right. I've been cold inside for a really long time. Longer than I've had my wings. I don't know how long but I had gotten used to the feeling without my wings. It made everything I did easier. No hesitation. No holding back.

It wasn't until I pull that explosion into myself, that I started to feel again. It was why I saw my parents in that loop. Why I killed Breeze. Why I turn away from everything I had once loved. The cold is easier to feel but a part of me needs that heat. It craves it. I could have released it already. I've had many opportunities to so.

How is it that I've been able to hide it from everyone around me? How have they not noticed? Yet, this stranger, he sees right through me. He's been watching me since we met the first time. How can he stand in front of me and tell me he wants me knowing that I'm completely out of my mind? How can he look into the void and not fear it? It's an endless amount of nothing. It's why it's called the void. Why I don't have any other colors other than black and white. I can dress in all the colors I want but it doesn't change the fact that I am empty inside and out. It shows on my skin, in my hair, my wings. It's just darkness.

I wasn't tired before but now all I want to do is sleep. I want to stop feeling this and for a while, I'm not going to be able to escape it. I don't believe there's anyone out there that can actually help me. Talking about it isn't going to help. Maybe releasing the heat will help. My emotions will calm down. They'll go back to the way they were before and this ache inside of me will fade. I'll be able to fully concentrate on what lies ahead. It's been a long time since I've asked for rest. An even longer time since I've wanted to close my eyes and never open them again but tonight. All I want to is a little bit of sleep.