Say It

Chapter 9:Flashback

Lincons POV:

I'm not really sure what I said that set her off. I needed to know what was going on in her personal life. Not at all for company reasons. I didn't give a rats' ass if she only turned one manuscript in this week, honesty. I wanted to make sure she was okay, so I brought work into it because I know how she is when it's work involved. I definitely shouldn't have said and I knew it bassoon as the words left my mouth. Her eyes flashed with pain and her face paled slightly. Man, I was such a dumbass.

"What did you do to the new girl?" I hadn't noticed Ethan making his way into my office. Ethan was my best friend from childhood and still is. His mom, though she was a very sweet woman, was heavy on drugs when he was younger, so he stayed with us most of the time. He would go home when she seemed to be doing better or really needed his help. He hated leaving his mom in her state, but he just couldn't let his own life go down hill with hers. Soon after he turned 18, she ODed. And unfortunately, his father was a no good piece of s**t who had always supplied his mom.

"Oh, do shut up." He plopped himself down in the chair Cassie had previously occupied and began to laugh again. "What's so funny?" s**t, I like to laugh too.

"Did you hear what she called you?" I shook my head slowly, unsure what she had said as she forcefully brushed past him. "I'm not sure you want to know," He pauses for a moment. Maybe he's right. "but I'm going to tell you anyway. She said you were the human version of period CRAMPS!" He yell-laughed out cramps. I have to admit, it's pretty comical, but still, I don't laugh because I know her anger is directed towards me.

"Damn it." I lay my head back on my chair, my aspirated tone filling the room. I had royally screwed the pooch on this one. And as if he read my mind, Ethan talks.

"Yeah, you really messed whatever that was up."

I quickly caught him up on everything between Cassie and I. There was so much, but almost nothing. He leans his head back raising his brows. Clearly thinking over everything I was saying. "And I know about your little lunch date." My voice full of venom. Maybe I couldn't have her, but I didn't want him to either.

He holds his hands up in defense. "Hey, she asked me to lunch. And last I checked, you two are not an item." I roll my eyes/ "And besides, you don't want a relationship. You have never wanted to settle down, except maybe Melissa." I outwardly groan.

"s**t, I had forgotten about Melissa. And maybe I would change my mind for her." I say back.

"Does it matter?" I give him a confused look and he leans forward. "It's not like you can give her a life she deserves. You would just take her and break her in the end. You don't want to fig-"

"Watch yourself, Ethan. You may be my closest friend, but I'll still beat your ass." He scoffs, shrugging his shoulders as the sound leaves his mouth.

"So? You know I'm telling the truth. You don't care about anyone's feelings other than yours. You'll only hurt her in the long run.I mean have you even told her? Friday was basically a date and Lincoln, that's something you tell on a first date, always."

My breathing is heavy and my chest feels like lead. I'm pissed, but I"m not sure what I"m angrier about. The fact that it's the same fight over my decision or what he was saying about Cassie. He was right, she does deserve the world, and I can give that to her, but we would both be heart-broken in the end, there is no doubt about it. But none of this helped. I didn't want to hear any of it. "Ethan, that's enough." He stood from his chair shaking his head disapprovingly.

"Lincoln, this can't end well, but it's not my place to say anything to her. Just don't wait until the end to bring this all to light." Once he made his peace, he walks out the office, leaving me to bask in the glory of how wonderful today had been.

Cassies POV:

I went home and changed before heading to a local bar, not far from the apartment. It was only Thursday and like 4 in the afternoon, so the place was dead. I sat at the bar and just stared at the wall of liquor that I wouldn't be drinking. I ordered some virgin fruity drink and onion rings and watched HIMYM that was playing on the TV hanging just above the bar. Sometimes when my head would become clouded, I went to a bar, but I never drank. I'm not sure what calms my nerves, probably always the onion rings. After about an hour, a man sits beside me. I can only figure it anyway, because his cologne is something to ravish in.

"Yeah, I'll have Rum, neat with a lime. Thanks Trac." I see her smile at him and pull out a small glass.

"Bad day, huh?" She asks.

He groans and takes a huge gulp of the brown liquid she placed in front of him. "You've got no idea. It's been a hell of a week." He mumbles and I let out a little 'Ha' because it indeed has been a hell of a week. I see him turn and look at me out the corner of my eye. "You too, huh?" I look over and just nod with a small smile. "Well, I bet mine has been worse." I understand he's just offering me an outlet to talk through my problems, but I'm so sure my week has been worse.

I completely turn my body and stare at him for a moment before my smile spreads and I throw my hand out. "You lose, you have to buy me some more onion rings." He takes my hand and chuckles as Tracy, I learned, giggles. He extends his hand, taking mine in his overly large one and shaking.

"If you lose, have dinner with me tomorrow." I wasn't into dating right now. Besides, I had Lincoln. Well, maybe I didn't, but he was almost all I could think of. However, this handsome stranger beside me was very intriguing.

I pondered on his words for a moment more to keep him on the edge of his seat. "Deal, BUT as new friends. You'll learn soon why I'm not on the dating scene at the moment." He nods and smiles. Clearly, not to affected by saying friends.

"Tracy," He looks to her for a moment. "You're not busy, judge this for us please doll." She looks a little reluctant to agree. "I'l give you a huge tip?" He asks more so rather than tells. Finally, she nods and he clenches his fist and quickly pulls it to his side, saying yes. I laugh at his ridiculous antics as tells me to go first.

"Okay, but I hope you're ready to go ahead and lose." I say with a smirk on my face. I began to tell him everything. I tell him about my past with Trey without the details and the recent events with him escaping with help. I also told him about Lincoln and all the drama that unfolded with him. "And before I could even explain, he made a comment about how once it affected my work it was no longer personal. So here I am." He doesn't say anything at first, absorbing all that I've spilled about my life and happenings in my current state of file, realizing I may have shared to much with this stranger.

He clears his throat and opens his mouth but shuts it, then takes a sip of the twice refilled glass of rum. "Well, um, okay." I c**k my head to the side and raise a brow. "Sorry, not okay. but really, that's a lot to take in. First of all, I am so sorry about what he did to you. You seem like such a sweet person with so much personality and, frankly, no one deserves that kind of pain in one's life. You deserve someone who will cherish, ravish, respect, and honor you, not torment you." Tracy is leaning against the bar slowly nodding her head along with the things he is saying, but me? I'm blushing wildly. I know he meant, in general, everyone deserves those things, but I can't help the heat that has risen through me.

"Thanks." I say and turn my attention to my hands that are violently wringing together to find some friction. He places one hand on mine to stop the nervous movement.

"I'm serious, uh-" He leans back a second before grinning and leaning forward again. "I just realized I never received your name."

Received my name? How odd. I chuckle lowly before telling him. "Cassie," He lingers on ie, tasting it on his tongue, doing so very well. "I love that name. Jameus, but everyone calls me Jamie, Jay, or James. Whatever you like." He smiles and I gratefully return it.

"I love Jameus. Like Jameis Winston, the Saints QB?"

"Kind of. I'm JameUS, he is IS." He states, but regardless, I love the name. "So," He lingers on the word for a moment. "My bad week." I nod my head once remembering what we were talking about. "So a month ago, my ex showed up after two and a half months. I wasn't sure what it was about. Maybe she forgot one of the designer bags I had bought for her over the years and decided she wanted it back. I didn't really know." He takes a deep breath trying to calm his rising nerves, so I reach across and give his arm a reassuring squeeze. He just smiles a little.

"She tells me she's pregnant, that she had found out only a couple of weeks before but she didn't know how to tell me." He gulps down the rest of the contents in his glass and asks Tracy for another. "So we started working on things. I didn't want my child to be brought into this world without both parents present. And I make enough money. I asked her to stop working and then to stay home with the baby after he or she was born, but she was hell bent on working, which didn't make sense for me. We told my family last week and her family. They were all a little shocked, but relatively happy." I make sure to nod along so he knows I'm listening to his words. Whatever he's going through, it's clearly affecting him. "Well, fast forward to Tuesday. She had a "doctors" appointment." He air quotes doctor. "I had told her I'd meet her there, but she hadn't wanted me to take off work because she wasn't sure if they'd do an ultrasound. I didn't care, I was going. When I looked at the clock, I realized I was going to be late if I didn't hurry. I pulled out my phone to tell her so, but I already had a message from her telling me they moved her appointment to earlier and she forgot to tell me. She asked if I'd come home because she needed to talk. When I got there she was sobbing. I could barely understand anything she was saying." He pauses and takes a few more sips. Seemingly not wanting to finish the story.

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to." I had an idea what was wrong. He shakes his head before continuing.

"I made out the words "I lost it. El se fue."" I finally made the connection that he's Hispanic. He takes another deep breath. "I was heart broke, but I felt worse for her. I had no Idea the pain of losing something that had been growing inside of you. To bond so closely with something you can't even see. I held her all night. The past couple of days were rough. But this morning, a friend of hers came to my office and told me she had faked the entire thing. None of it was real. She had to "kill it off" before I showed up to that doctors office and figured it out." I gasp loudly and clench at my heart. He loved and mourned for a child he was losing, but never had to begin with.

"Oh my, I'm so sorry. I can't even imagine how you feel." I grab hold of his hands and hold them tightly. "She is truly an awful person and I hope you have no plans of going back to her. Even if she wasn't hitting you, she was abusing you. She manipulated you into being with her, she lied to you for over a month, and when you broke it off, I can bet she blamed you for the entire thing." I took a few breaths because it sounded as if I was describing Trey. He manipulated me into moving together and staying with him for so long, he lied about everything except sleeping with other women. When we fought, he blamed me. Every time his fist connected to my face, he blamed me. Every time he slammed my head into the wall, he blamed me. When he set-

"I really don't think it was much of a competition." Tracy chimes in before my thoughts overwhelm my mind. "You both have had a pretty shitty week. Maybe you should call it a tie." Her bottom lip tugs down as her eyes squinch together with her cheeks and shrugs apologetically.

I turn back to Jameus and remove my hands from his and take a sip of my drink. "I believe she may be right Ms.Cassie. How about we call it a tie and you still go to dinner with me tomorrow?" he smirks and brings his glass to his lips. I remember back to last Friday sitting at the table watching Lincoln drink his club soda. His puffy-pouty lips settling on his glass as his tongue trace the brim of the glass before slightly sticking over into the liquid as he drink.

Jameus' hand swashing in front of my face pulls me from heated memory of Lincoln. "Huh? Sorry, I just kind of drifted." I chuckle a little brushing my hair behind my ear. Dinner? Did I want to go to dinner with this stranger? Honestly, I'm not sure. t's been nice to talk with someone about everything and not hear their opinions in my life. My dad thinks I need to take time off and come home. Claudia thinks I need to stay put there with her and work from him. Sues agrees that I don't need to work. But none of them seem to understand how damn tired I am of running and being afraid of him or any man for that matter. I'll probably always be afraid of Trey Barlor, but I will never allow myself to succumb to him again. "Yes, I'll go to dinner with you.

Once I realized it was well after 5:30, I gave my number to Jameus and bid goodbye for the evening. Claudia knew I had been home already because I left a note and told her I was going to a bar, which she knows I do from time to time. But man she was upset. She was upset I hadn't called her as soon as I left work, mad that I didn't call her to go with me, mad I was out in the first place, and I'm sure shell be mad when I tell her I'm going out tomorrow night.

"Well, you better cool your ass down because I'm going out tomorrow night too." I shrug and take my plate to sink since I had finished eating.

"No. Cas, you can not keep going out. If he finds out where we are-"

"Claud, ENOUGH!" I grunt, utterly frustrated. I can't take it anymore. " Look, I understand the need to protect me from this monster, but if I hide from him, he wins. At least if he was to get me while I was enjoying life, I'd still be in charge of my own life. But hiding here," I motioned around us and lean back against the counter, reliving every time I hid in my life for--because of him. "then I'm allowing him to hold rank in my life that he does not have any more. I am terrified that he's going to find me one day, but I am more terrified of wasting more of my life on this ass hole." She still has yet to look at me, knowing she can't resist giving me the freedom he took all those years ago. "I can't go back to being afraid of everything because I'm still afraid of so much because of him. So what? I'm suppose to become afraid of everything else because he's out? Hell no. I'm done being afraid of everything." Finally, she looks up to meet my gaze. "If you're so afraid of what he will do, then you hide from him."

After speaking my peace, I leave to my room. I don't care anymore. I have a friendship date to go on tomorrow and after the week I've had, I deserve to be out with someone who doesn't make me feel small or unheard. I sit down and must have moved way to fast as my head begins to spin and suddenly my head clouds over. My body feels heavy and I can't tell if it's exhaustion or my Meds, maybe a mix of both, but something is wrong. My body is burning hotter than normal for me and I know I'm going to harl. I stumble over to the trash can and throw up the content in my stomach. Claudia is quick to knock on my door begging for answers and for me to unlock the door. I fumble my way to the door and unlock it and falling back on the floor.

She rushes to my side and lifts me up and sits me on the bed. She rushes to my closet and comes back with a 2 jackets, throwing one on and hands the other to me. "Put it on now. We're going to the ER." I begin to protest by sitting the jacket down, but have to grip the bed because my head is spinning and I lunge for the trash can again. "Now." She helps with the jacket and pretty much throws me in the car.

We make it to the ER which is dead, thank the Heavens. They have already called me to a room after about 5 minutes. they are taking my vitals and asking all kind of questions before they send the doctor in to make sure he has the information before he comes in. "Is it possible you're pregnant?" The nurse asks me still looking at her chart. I look at Claudia and we both bust into laughter. The nurse looks up confused at our sudden burst.

"Sorry," I say and clear my throat. " Sorry. My s*x life is pretty nonexistent. It's been years."

She grins and nods knowingly. "Okay well, the doctor will be in shortly for the big details, okay? Just hang on tight. He shouldn't be to long." She pats my knee and leaves us in the room.

"What the hell happened, Cas?"

I'm holding my chest from the panic attack that was triggered by the uncertainty of what's happening, and another wave of nausea hits me. Claud holds the trash can for me but there is nothing left to leave me. I dry heave holding my stoamch. What the f**k is going on? Before I can speak, my doctor opens the door.

"Alright Ms.Beyers, I'm Dr.Greene. What seems to be the issue?" he finally meets our shocked gazes and smirks. "Ladies, it's a pleasure."

Ryder Greene.