Say It

Chapter 1:Flashack

I use to think I had the perfect plan; life was easy and I knew how to control it. Then, here he comes; this utterly beautiful storm just waiting to wreck everything in his path, and I was going to let him. Our worlds never should have collided, yet, here we go.

“My sweet baby’s first year away from home. How are you feeling,” dad looks over with a more than obvious look of dread on his face.

Truth is, he hasn’t been alone since before he met mom. After she died, he had me and now even I’m leaving him. I know it’s not the same because I can always come home, but part of me thinks he feels as if I had. I believe if she were alive, it wouldn’t hurt as much for him with me moving so far. I feel guilty because it’s always been my dad and I. I couldn’t imagine life with her here. I want nothing more than to miss her and picture this perfect life we could have had, but she died giving birth to me due to ongoing complications. She told the doctor if something did happen, save me not her. She didn’t even give my father a chance or a choice and for that, I can’t forgive her. However, I never actually got to love her like he did.

“Dad, first, ‘baby’? I’m not the little girl who fell off the roof anymore.” He begins to laugh; I’ll miss that.

“Not at all the complete story, JC,” JC is the nickname he gave me after jumping off the roof and it just short for Jumping Cassie. “You were ‘flying’ off the roof with an umbrella. You said ‘If Sandra Bullock can do it, so can I!’.”

“It’s not my fault they put me under a spell. It’s still a classic!” I say, watching his face light up more. Practical Magic was always our, mostly his, favorite movie to watch because it was hers.

It helped some growing up because I could imagine her as a real person. I do love her, I just don’t miss her. I don’t know what I would miss. Maybe I missed out on having a mom to celebrate life with. There is a part of me that wishes she could have watched how much he loved me. I don’t know her, but I think it would have made her proud to see the amazing father he turned out to be. He always told me my mother’s family would tell her he wouldn’t amount to much; he use to try and make me see them, but I never felt the need.

The energy in the room depletes and his face falls. I know he’s thinking about how he’s going to be alone in this empty house. I can see a slight grin form on his lips like he’s replaying every stupid ass decision I made as a child, but he doesn’t say anything. The rest of the time spent packing goes in silence.

I stare out the window watching the leaves fall from the trees. It’s early August and we live in South Carolina so the heat is still unbelievable but fall is still the best time of year. It’s going to be nice to have a cool climate change, even though Seattle is a huge change. This just doesn’t feel like my home anymore. After I received my Bachelors in English and a minor in Journalism, I applied for Greene House Books. One of the biggest publishing houses in West Seattle. It was opened a few years ago by some rich boy with nothing but time and no degree, but yet somehow, the company flourished. They called me back a week after I applied and I told my dad a week after that. He cried for what seemed to be hours and hardly spoke to me. Planning to lock me in the basement no doubt, but he, Susanne, and Claudia have been the best support.

Claudia, my best and only friend, has even decided to move with me. Her mother isn’t too happy she wants to up and leave but the truth is, she’s just as miserable being stuck here as I am. Claudia’s father left them when she was eight and her moms been over protective since.

Claudia arrives about 6:15 later that night with her mom so we can have one last family dinner. Claud and I have been the like sisters since she pushed Carly Hanson to the ground in pre-k for mocking me. Ever since that day, she hasn’t been able to boot my goofy ass to the curb.

“I still think you girls should fly.” Susanne, Claudia’s mother huffs while playing with the food on her plate.

“Mom, I already told you that it would cost so much more to try and fly everything out. On top of that, we would risk the chance of losing our stuff.” She argues back.

“I know. You’ve said it a dozen times, Claud. I just want you sweet girls to be safe and I worry about y’all; two young ladies, driving across country. You both have been our life since the day you were born. We would never forgive ourselves if something happened to you both.” Her eyes begin to water and Claudia reaches across the tables and eyes me to do the same. “I love you, both of you, so much. You’ll do amazing things, no doubt in my mind. I’m just going to miss you both.” And here comes the sobs.

Susanne has been my “mom” since I was little and I will always see her that way. Any time I needed her, she was there. My first period to my first heartbreak. When my dad didn’t have money for Christmas or birthday presents, she would buy extra and write John on them so I wouldn’t know he couldn’t afford it. I figured it out when I was sixteen. Susanne and Claudia always stayed Christmas Eve night at our house after her dad left. I had gotten up that night to get water and heard her and my father talking about it. I was surprised, but it only made me love her more. That was also the year Claud and I found out her and my dad were secretly dating. We still haven’t mentioned it to them and they still haven’t told us.

“Mom, we both love you, both of you, so very much.” Claudia says. Now my dad’s crying. “but this is something we’re doing and driving is how we want to get there.”

“I just don’t wanna be alone.” Susanne says.

“Mom, pa-la-ese! We know that you two have been seeing each other since we were sixteen. So I don’t want to hear about being ‘alone’.” Susanne’s jaw drops as she looks to my father. I throw my hand over my mouth to try and stop the laugher, but Claudia burst and I just can’t contain it.

“H-How did…you two know that?” my clueless father screeched out only making us laugh harder.

“At the New Years Eve party. We came looking for the both of you and found you on the back deck and we could tell you were trying to hide. We didn’t want to push it out of you and figured you tell us when y’all were ready. But then again, you never said anything.” I say as they both stare at us in disbelief. They look mortified.

“And you two don’t . . mind?” Susanne almost whispers.

“Of course not! We’ve been waiting for you two to tie the knot ever since. We love you both so much and have ever only wanted you to be happy. Honestly, I’m so glad y’all started dating because we have always been family and this makes it more real.” Claud says and I nod in agreement.

“Oh my sweet girls!” Susanne cries out and squeezes the life out of us both.

THE rest of the night seems to go by way to fast and before I know it, we’re up and getting ready to hit to road.

“Okay, so whoever isn’t driving has to text or call us every hour and let us know you’re okay. Make sure you stop at descent places to sleep. Cassie, I went to the bank yesterday and put a thousand in your account so y’all have enough for food, gas, and hotels.” My dad says.

“And I put a thousand in yours too, Claud. Both of you take turns paying for things.” Susanne says. I stare at them in awe. I can’t believe how lucky we are to have such amazing parents.

I jump towards them both and wrap my short arms as far around them as possible. Claudia soon joins in and we all begin sobbing once again.

We say our goodbyes and start our long journey to Washington. Just as we promised we call or text every hour . Though our parents said to stay somewhere nice, we decide to stay in the car since it’s only a little more than a day and a half drive.

Once I see the sign saying Solana Apartments, I start to get a flutter of butterflies and a instant slap from realization; we aren’t in Carolina anymore. We stop by the front desk and sign some extra paper work and pick up our keys. Burien is only about twenty minutes from West Seattle so it’s close to Greene House and only seven minutes from Gregory Heights Elementary which is where Claudia is going to be working. It has two bedrooms and one bathroom. It already has most of the furniture and appliances so we didn’t have to buy much of anything and we brought our old beds from home. It’s so far from perfect, but it’s everything I could have imagined.

“Did you know there was a gym here?” Claudia questions me.

“Yes, Claud and so did you.” I start to chuckle at her ability to forget everything. “I told you before we picked this place. That’s why we chose it!” Claudia loves the idea of a gym. She isn’t big but she isn’t small either. It’s like the 5’5 dark skinned version of Marilyn Monroe. She is absolutely gorgeous and yet, she still worries about her “imperfections” as she says.

“Shhh, I’m thinking of all the ways I can rearrange this awful living room.”

“Mm,” I stare back at her.

“All the ways WE can rearrange.” She’s sure to place extra emphasizes on we. Honestly though, I don’t care how the furniture looks. I finally have a place that I can say is my own.

Once we are finished bringing everything in from the truck, we drive it back to the nearest U-haul to drop it off and pick up pizza on the way home. Everything in this town is beyond beautiful. It’s like I’m looking through the eyes of movie. Almost everything in this town is sitting over the ocean. Absolutely breath taking. Most of the buildings look older like they haven’t been remodel. To me, it gives character and life to this little town alongside the ocean. Claudia thinks it could go for a good modernization.

The rest of the night is spent eating pizza and having a Twilight marathon. Claudia keeps telling me of how she is going to find her one true Jacob since we are in the heart of wolfs. Not me. I want to find my Jasper. He is probably the most intriguing character in the whole series. He comes from a time when woman were these little creatures that no one gave the time of day and yet, he finds a way to make Alice feel much larger than she is. He allows her to be this almighty being and never tries to outshine her even with his amazing gift of controlling emotions. His forever brooding stare never takes away the happiness of his one and only love.