The night sky seems even darker than usual tonight, with just a sliver of the moon shining down on us. I silently run through the woods letting my wolf Emerald out tonight. She has been anxious all day, well really the last few days, and I could tell that she needed to come out for a run. So, we did what we normally do, took a small nap to wait until after 1 am to make sure no one would be around, and then headed out for our run. I would always stick to the woods just over the far ridge from my pack, as it is near my favorite stream when I need a little peace. It is always quietest over on this side of the pack, as it is the closest to our neighbor's, the Blood Walker pack. They are our neighbors to the north, but their land only borders ours for about two thousand feet. They have never entered our land, and the whole pack has all been warned not to trespass onto their land. We were all advised of the dire consequences that would arise if someone ever did. We would be at war instantly, as we are not friendly neighbors and we do not have a treaty with them. I have heard horror stories about their Alpha. They are a very strong pack, and the outcome of a war between us would not be favorable to us here at the Silver Blade pack.
Alpha Cole Walker is the Alpha of the Blood Walker pack. He is said to be one of the most dangerous Alphas in the United States. It is said that he would kill anyone who dared to enter his packlands uninvited. Due to this fact, most of our pack members studiously avoid this area altogether. I take advantage of that and use this area to enjoy my solitude, and what little freedom I can get from the packhouse, by coming here when I do manage to get out. The Goddess knows that I need it too. I do not know what I ever did to deserve the life I live, yet I live it every single day. The blatant hate in the pack member's eyes. The nasty comments and physical abuse I suffer are bad enough. But I have to say the worst of it is the disrespect and unwarranted anger that the pack has for me. My twin sister, Reagan, on the other hand, is the golden child of the pack. They all love her unconditionally. She is cherished and appreciated, no matter what she does. They all seem to ignore the fact that she is a horrible and mean she-wolf. I was born first, and with that should come the respect that after I find my mate, I will officially be the Luna here, and he will take over as the Alpha of the pack. Yet they all treat her as the next Luna.
“No, you won’t Raven. I have already seen it, you know in your heart that we will never be given this pack. In fact, you should have listened to me and packed before we got our nap tonight. I already know our fate, but you have to take your own steps in this. I cannot tell you what is about to happen, as what you decide to do tonight will seal out fate. Whether we will live or die, will all be decided by you” Emerald tells me through our link.
“I know they hate us, for whatever stupid reason. I have known this for a while since I have been treated like this from a young child. There was nothing that I could have done to deserve this treatment that I have received, not from my earliest memory until today. There is nothing that we can do about it, I feel it too Emerald. Something really bad is about to happen, and I am scared” I linked her back. I can tell that something big is about to happen, and when it does, I know that my life will be changed completely.
“Get dressed and hide, I can hear them coming this way. You will need to hide in a tree, but I will block our scent from whoever it is to protect us” Emerald tells me, and we took off further into the woods heading away from the packhouse. I head to an area that I know has a change of clothes for me to wear. Even with the outcome known to her, she doesn’t ever want to hurt me. She has been the only good thing to happen to me in my young life, and I love her like a sister. I wish she were my sister, instead of Reagan. I got my wolf two months ago when Reagan and I both turned eighteen years old. Emerald is a strong wolf, and she is really smart. She is a pretty large wolf too, but I have never been phased and near another wolf to see how much bigger she will be next to them.
I phased back to human and dressed quickly because whoever it is, they are very close to where I am now. I won’t take the chance of getting hurt again by just standing here. As the firstborn child of the Alpha of the Silver Blade pack, I really should be able to defend myself. My sister and I are the only children that our parents had. The Goddess never blessed them with another child, even though they tried for years. My father, Alpha Graham Sullivan, is very strict with me. I am not allowed to leave my room other than to eat my meals and then return back to my room again. I am also not allowed to leave our packland for any reason. I have never even crossed the border of the Sliver Blade packlands in my life. I have always been told it is for my own protection but never given a reason for why I need the protection. Reagan is not a prisoner here, she goes to the movies, shopping, on dates, and leaves the pack all the time. I get her hand-me-down clothes, well at the least clothes that I consider acceptable. We do not have the same taste in clothes. I like my butt to be covered, so her dresses and skirts are all unacceptable. I will take her jeans and t-shirts though. I have no idea what is out there, outside the pack walls, other than what I have read in the books in the library. I have made a lot of use of the books in our library. They really helped when I finally got my wolf when I turned 18 two months ago. That was the only way that I knew what was about to happen to me when I phased into my wolf for the first time. The level of pain I was in was pretty bad, but now in just two short months, I can phase into my wolf very quickly, and it is painless to phase for me now.
I was alone for my first phase, and that was as expected too. Instead of mom and dad having us together for our first shifts, they were both with Reagan and left me behind. My mother the Luna, Cassandra Sullivan, was positive that I would not be given a wolf. The whole pack in fact believed that I was wolfless, as neither she, nor my father, or anyone else in the pack for that matter had ever sensed that I had a wolf. Emerald has hidden her scent from the pack this whole time. When we leave our room and go downstairs, she hides our scent, she hid it when I was finishing my last month at school too. I am more thankful that Emerald did that for me than her healing me from when I had my little “accidents.” I would prefer everyone to think that I have no wolf, as I think I need to get out of the Silver Blade pack. Things are really bad here, and the chances of my mate being here in this pack are pretty slim. Even if he were in this pack, the probability of him rejecting me right off the bat is 50/50. I get bumped, shoved, tripped, and bones broken, more than it should be possible for me to have as the daughter of the Alpha of this pack. That is why I am required to stay in my room, or the library, when I do get permission to go there from mom. She is nicer to me than my father is, but that isn’t saying very much. She has never taken my side in front of him, for in anything in my life.
Dad has never hit me, or physically hurt me. What he does is actually worse, it is all emotional abuse, and it has cut me to my core on each and every occasion. You would think that I would have learned that fact by now. I honestly should never get hopeful that he might have a change of heart and love me too. For him to see how much I love him, and my mother. But it never happens, he has never said a kind word to me. He has never taken up for or supported me, and that fact alone is what hurts the most. He thinks the very worst of me all the time. He is the most important person in my life, the one I look up to the most, and he actually hates me more than anyone else in this stupid pack.
I guess I will never know why, I have asked numerous times, and all I am met with is anger, and then my parents leaving whatever room we were in at the time. They both leave, heading in two separate directions, and neither of them will tell me anything. Whatever the secret is, it is the pack's biggest secret, and that makes me even more nervous about why they hate me so much. My sister hates me too, but she is really smart about how she hides it, faking concern as if she cares. She totally works up my tormenters, and then walks away while I call out for help. I learned the real truth of our relationship at fourteen years old. The truth was that I would not be able to trust her, ever again. I was hurt more than I had ever previously been hurt and ended up in the pack hospital with several broken bones and knocked out from hitting the ground so hard.
Reagan was there when it happened, but as I was waking up, I heard the story that she was telling dad. The whole thing was a lie. When I was finally able to speak, I did tell dad what had actually happened, and then he slapped me for lying. He immediately took her side of it, not mine, and I actually learned two lessons on that day. The first is just how much Reagan will boldly lie to our parents, or really anyone, to get her way. Second, she started that whole event, and never got in trouble for attempting to kill me. She walked right out the door with dad, giving me a smirk as they left, knowing that dad totally believed the lies she told. He had broken my heart again, and I swore from that day forward that I was locking him out of my heart. I was never going to hope that he would change, or truly love me, ever again. I can still remember him walking out of my hospital room with his arm around her shoulders murmuring to her about how much he loved her, and her smirking back at me. That was the cherry on top of the sundae, and I decided right then and there that I would not be allowing either of them to catch me unawares, or off guard again.
Mom had given me a little smile before she went to leave my hospital room before stopping at the door and telling me, “I will be back to check on you in the morning. I will have an Omega bring you a book to read tonight.” I watched her as she walked out of the room, leaving me alone with the silence that was overwhelming, and seemed to take over the room. It was at that moment that my heartbreak was complete. A short time later all that could be heard from my room were the sound of my sobs, as I cried myself to sleep. I knew the book would never come, and it didn’t. Even if mom did manage to remember what she had said to me, The Omegas never really cared for me at all. I was unimportant in the pack, as that fact had been drilled into me every single day. No one had to listen to me or fulfill any of my requests. Like my own birthday cake, or at least for them to put both of our names on our birthday cake. Instead every year it was only Reagan's name on the cake, and me not allowed to come to the party. No gifts were ever for me, they were always just for Reagan. My mom had come back alone to the hospital the following afternoon to get me checked out, and to go back to my room to complete the healing process. I was back in my room that night, with no dinner because I couldn't maneuver the stairs. Goddess forbid someone had to bring food up for me. It was at the 48-hour mark when my mom decided to check on me to see why I hadn't come down to eat any of my meals. They had forgotten that I was not able to use the stairs to get down to the dining room and we had no elevator here at the packhouse. I healed slowly, according to my family, and that was the first time the rumor that I had no wolf, started to spread. It ran rampant, and my dad did nothing to stop it, it actually seemed to please him that I didn’t have a wolf.
I started climbing a tree to hide and got about 20 feet up from the base of the tree. I picked a spot where there were two strong branches coming out very close together, stretching out from the tree trunk, and got comfortable on the branches. Whoever was coming their way here are near, and I didn’t want to get caught out of the house. I wasn’t very well known to the whole pack just the kids that had gone to school with me would really know me, otherwise, they would have to have seen me eating in the dining hall with my parents. I was the Alpha’s daughter, but I was not a valued member of this pack. Telling on me has always resulted in a bonus for whoever told on me to my father. I have had to learn how to overcome this on my own. It has made me very independent over the years, as well as a very good climber. I use the tree outside my window at the packhouse, to climb up and down to get in and out of my room.
From my vantage point, I can see who is coming now and rolled my eyes so hard I almost saw my brain. Goddess, it was Reagan, and she was pulling the arm of a pretty large guy, as she headed toward the grassy bank near my tree. I realized right this moment that I have picked a terrible place to hide. I should have doubled back and then climbed in my window to my room and I would have been safe and sound in my room. Reagan is clearly out with one of her many men, as she was allowed to stay out and do whatever she wanted to. I mean how else could she beat me to finding her mate if she didn’t sleep with all the unmated men in our pack? I rolled my eyes again and then froze when I looked at them again and got a good look at his face. That smell coming off of him was starting to drive me wild, he smelled like freshly baked cinnamon buns, and I was now pissed off. She had come here with the guy that I had a crush on, someone with whom she had never shown any interest in before. It was our Beta's son and the guy that I have had a crush on for the last year and a half. I had dreamed of him becoming my mate, and now I am completely disgusted as my twin sister Reagan is about to sleep with my mate, and I had no way to stop her from doing it.