The Bartender

7

“Okay alright, next question. If your girlfriend and your mom are both stuck at sea, who would you save?”

It was somewhere in the evening, I lost track of time so don’t ask me what time it was. I came here with one and one motive only and that is to let off some steam after that spat this morning with my older sister.

I wasn’t so angry anymore after I had channeled all that energy towards the Bartender who was getting tired of my trivia questions.

“Well then, they would’ve been an i***t to have fallen in, wouldn’t they?” He wasn’t asking me a question; he was purely making a statement. “What were they doing standing so close to…whatever the hell it is they were standing on?”

I narrowed my eyes at him and sighed exasperatedly. “Just answer the damn question Judah.”

“Fine, neither.”

“Pray tell, ye heartless man.”

“First of all, lifeguards get paid for that very reason and aren’t just decoration with wearing an excessive amount of sunscreen with tight red swimsuits.”

Baywatch, he was talking about Baywatch now?

I pinched the bridge of my nose; it took every ounce of self-control I had left in me not to throw my drink at him for the second time in a week. “Fine, I think you would answer this question better than I do, tell me then. If your boyfriend and father fell into the sea, who would you save?” Judah boomeranged the question back to me. 

“I don’t have to save either because I don’t have either.” I said flatly, swirling my ‘soaking kitty’ (the damn drink) in hand. Again, please don’t ask me what’s in there because I don’t wanna know.

Judah eyed me closely as if deducing silently about what I had just revealed, I could tell by the way he stares at me quietly. “I know what you’re thinking, despite whatever you were trying to deduce the answer is a simple no, I do not have daddy issues.”

“The thought alone did not cross my mind at all.“ he clarified. “Not all girls without a father figure in their lives are predestined to have daddy issues. I don’t stereotype women.”

“Ah ah, but you seemed to have already done that to me since day one when I casually mentioned that I don’t do relationships.” I reminded him, tutting disapprovingly. “Really, what is it that you have against women and the whole idea of relationships?” I cushioned my chin against my palm, staring at him intently.

“Sweetheart, that wasn’t me stereotyping per se but maybe it’s because I’ve observed and dealt with far too many broken, irreconcilable relationships where stories always began with “he was a nice guy” or “I wasn’t prepared for a commitment but—" and 80% of the time, s**t goes south because neither can make up their minds of what they really want (course there are many other factors that contribute to it) and are dying to get out of the relationship just to get back to where they started.”

I sucked on my teeth and pursed my lips in disapproval, my brows knitted in deep thought. “Well, that’s your opinion and I’m not here to tell you whether you’re right or wrong about relationships. It’s a free country and I respect your thoughts. But you see, that’s the beauty of relationships, isn’t it? You argue, fight, and have disagreements because you care about the other person and what they’re doing. And honestly, no one is really prepared for commitments heck no one really wants commitments if that could be avoided, no? But learning to adapt and conquer changes you whole, doesn’t it? Hell, no one is an expert in a relationship else there’d be no need for counseling and divorce lawyers.”

Judah’s eyes hardened as if I had hit a nerve. Actually, I had my own suspicions that this man didn’t just become a Bartender overnight, he had been working in a corporation or a profession that’s gotten him so bitter and twisted in some ways. I have my money on either a Detective, some guy who held a glorified position in the corporate, relationship counselor or some kind of Lawyer—a Divorce Lawyer to be exact.

“Oh god, I came here for a drink but yet I’m getting a Ted Talk on tips to make a relationship work?” a stranger drawled, covering his temples while he let out a hiccup. 

“Go home buddy, you’re drunk. Do you want me to call you a cab?” Judah asked.

“Nah, you two go back to whatever it is you were talking about, I’m fine. But I just gotta say the woman’s right about everything, this one. You argue with someone because you care and want them to know how you feel.” The stranger in the trench coat flashed a drunken smile at me and turned his attention back to his drink, mumbling incoherently.

I turned in my seat rather dramatically to look at a nonchalant, handsome, know-it-all. “Why thank you, at least someone appreciates my little nuggets of wisdom.” I said proudly.

“Sure, if you prefer some affirmation from drunk, washed-up dudes like that guy, you’re doing just fine.” Judah muttered under his breath. Suddenly I wasn’t feeling so self-satisfied anymore. 

My phone buzzed twice and the screen lit up. My natural instincts took over and I cast a quick glance towards the screen, my brow slowly raised—it was a text from the phone company I subscribed to. I rolled my eyes and turned my attention back to my drink when suddenly my phone started buzzing repeatedly. 

“I swear if it’s my stupid prick of a boss…” I huffed quietly. It was mom. And my mother rarely called, well, you know, we aren’t exactly the best of friends. She liked my sister more than she did with me; it was just as Kat said—that I was always bumming around while she had to pick up the pieces dad had left behind and a broken woman who’s always in need of constant attention…and pills. In short, what she was trying to say is that I had it easy.

I slid my thumb against the screen and pressed the phone to my ear, and before I could even do a proper greeting, mom beat me to it. “Honey, where are you?” my mother’s voice was frantic, she sounded like she was crying or had been choked up as she went on and on about a missing object. “I’m not home right now. Do you need anything?”

“Your sister! Oh god! Your brother-in-law Jim! Oh no, my poor baby!”

“Mom, would you please just calm down? Now, take a deep breath and tell me what’s going on?” I said, feeling slightly nettled because I was so used to getting phone calls from her when she was in one of her many mental breakdowns that still happened every now and then. But this time it was different—the sound of her crying scared me.

If I was a little tipsy earlier, it all seeped out of my skin in an instant. Judah turned to look at me; concern etched his brows as soon as he heard me say those words. “Turn on the news!” she said, hyperventilating on the other line. 

“Judah, could you turn on the news please?” I held the phone away for a split second and he grabbed the remote somewhere behind the bar and flicked the channel where a football match was playing earlier. It was only a matter of seconds when all chatter died down and everyone’s eyes turned towards the LCD screen that hung at all four corners of the bar.

“We’ve just gotten news reports about a missing plane that was on its way to Miami, Florida this late evening at 5. However, the air control traffic tower here in Seattle has lost all signals from AK 578 just over an hour ago after the last radio message sent by Captain Jeremy Russell….”

Jeremy…that’s Jim! It was only a coincidence right? I mean, my brother-in-law couldn’t be the only Jeremy Russell on a planet of 7.6 billion other people.

“Mom, what am I looking at?” I said, suddenly not feeling so good. Music died down and people murmuring among themselves with looks of pity on their faces, some cast wary glances at me when I was the only one talking on the phone. “Your older sister is on that plane! Your brother-in-law Jim is the Pilot flying that aircraft! Oh my baby, my poor baby!”

“Mom, I—” my eyes were beginning to water. “I don’t understand. Katherine showed up at my place this morning—she wasn’t scheduled to fly, said…and Max…please don’t tell me Max is on that plane too.” my hands were trembling, tears slid down my cheeks endlessly. Judah’s attention turned back to me, confusion drove through him as he tried to make sense of my turmoil of emotions.

“Mama.” I whimpered. “I was only speaking to Kat this morning, how, I don’t—“

“Max is here with me, there was no meeting with any Director. She lied to you because she didn’t want you to think she was a terrible mom because she and Jim got called on a last minute flight because the scheduled Pilot caught a bad flu. She was going to quit Ronnie! Your sister was going to quit the industry because she’s just found out she was pregnant again.”

My breathing stopped and my ears were ringing. It was as if someone had shattered the imaginary glass I had around me and suddenly I was gasping for air.

I ran, boy did I run out of the bar through the back exit and clawed at my chest. This time, I was the one hyperventilating. I couldn’t breathe, my head was spinning and my legs had lost all feel in them as I slumped against the wall. 

“Kat.” I breathed, my voice breaking as I sob. “Please be okay, please. Oh god please, not my big sister.”

“Veronica!” Judah burst through the doors, looking around. “What’s wrong? What’s happened?” he asked. “My sister…” I tried. I was shaking so badly my phone fell out of my grip and the screen cracked the second it hit the tar road. Judah caught me just as I was about to slip to the ground. 

“Your sister is on that plane?” he tried. “And J-Jim too.” I choked. “My b-brother-in-law is the Pilot! Kat told me she was going for a meeting. How did she end up in a plane? Oh god, this is all my fault, if it weren’t for me telling her she was being such a bad mother to Max.”

Judah hadn’t offered any words of consolation other than ‘its okay’, which I was glad because if he did, that would mean my sister would’ve been gone for good. “Do you want me to get you to your mother? She must need someone too.” He said. I nodded.

Without another word, he pressed a button on a remote and a SUV’s headlights flashed to life. He shrugged off his jacket and put it around me; with one quick swoop he picked me up like I was some sort of rag doll and buckled me into the passenger’s seat of the vehicle.

The engine roared to life with the press of another button. My eyes were so heavy and I was feeling so, so lethargic. “Tell me your address Ronnie.”

I did, and that was the last thing I remember saying before I closed my eyes. 

**

I woke up to more crying. My mother was a mess and obviously I can’t join in the tear fest because I needed to be the strong one for her. Judah stood behind the couch awkwardly as he offered a hand of comfort on my shoulder; I was staring blankly into the television screen at my mother’s house as the news anchor continued to deliver news about a specific missing plane.

“Reports say it seems like AK 578 had taken a little detour due to engine failure that took place 40,000 feet above air. A distress signal was received over an hour after the plane had taken off and the Pilot seemed to have informed traffic control for a refuel that would result in an emergency landing. All signals were lost at exactly 6:15pm today; search and rescue flight teams from our neighboring countries have been dispatched…”

“I can’t watch this anymore. My head’s about to explode.” I said quietly and Judah turned down the volume of the television, put a wool blanket over my sleeping mother and sat next to me. I stared at the photo frame of my sister and me on the coffee table that my mother must’ve taken down earlier from the mantel—the exact same photo that sat in my room, Kat and I having burgers with big fat smiles plastered on our faces.

“I had an argument with my sister this morning.” I begin quietly. “She found out that I had brought Max to a bar the night before because she saw the jacket you left behind. She was mad and had every right to be, she called me irresponsible, and I called her a terrible mother.” My vision became blurry once more and I tilt my head back, unwilling to let the tears fall but it slid down the corners of my eyes. 

“I should have let her yell at me, she was right you know. I never should have brought Max to the bar; I should have tried to understand her a little more. She’s worked so hard all those years when I was younger, trying to be there for mom and I after dad left. A good chunk of her teenage and early adulthood life revolved around us until she met Jeremy—Jim and got married within a year.” I wiped harshly at the tears that continued to fall. 

“She had Maxine six months later—an unplanned baby. It was the last thing she needed since she spent all those years caring for others and never really had the time for herself. Kat really wanted to travel the world and be with her husband and the only way was to join the cabin crew along with him. They worked really hard and barely saw Max but loved their child dearly.”

“And there I was, bumming around as she calls it. I had it easier than she did. By the time I got a job, I was already pretty much enjoying myself without a single commitment to care for. At one point in my life, I thought I was doing so much better than how she was doing when she was at my age. Every penny I earned was mine to keep and I still wasn’t happy with what I had.”

I wiped away my tears harshly and took a deep breath. “I am a terrible sister, aren’t I?” I said without looking at Judah. 

“Yes, I think you are.”