The Billionaire Husband's Regret

Chapter 10

“No, Mummy, no! No!” Kayla was sobbing hysterically and working herself up into a fine little tantrum. Alice could feel it in the way her small body was tensing up more and more. “Kayla no want! Kayla no like!”

“Kayla, you will eat your food!” Alice managed in her sternest voice. The child’s determined squirming was rapidly tiring her mother out, and Alice knew that she would have to give up the fight soon. She lifted the spoon to Kayla’s mouth, and the baby kept her mouth tightly shut, turning her head away.

“Mikayla!” The unfamiliar sound of Jack’s raised voice shocked both mother and child into momentary stillness. Kayla’s eyes swallowed her face when they encountered her father’s stern countenance. His voice softened on his next words. “Listen to your mummy.”

The child obediently opened her mouth to the proffered spoon, her large blue eyes never wavering from her father’s face. She took in bite after bite until she had emptied her bowl, and when she was done, she begged to be let down. Alice helped her down and watched with a helpless smile of sheer adoration as Kayla toddled over to her father and crawled into his lap, curling herself up and tucking her thumb into her mouth. Jack’s face reflected a mixture of surprise, aching vulnerability, and confusion as he wrapped his arms around the sleepy little girl. He lifted his awestruck eyes to Alice’s smiling face.

“She always gets a little peevish when she’s tired,” Alice informed, watching as Kayla’s eyelids drooped more and more until she was fast asleep.

“I’m hesitant about raising my voice to her,” he admitted quietly. “I find it difficult to judge exactly how loud I’m actually being. I don’t want to terrify her. Sometimes I worry that . . .”

He left the sentence hanging and dropped his eyes down to his daughter’s sleeping face. Alice waited, hoping that he would finish what he had been about to say, sensing that he had been about to reveal something deeply personal. He didn’t say anything further though, and it left her wondering about the insecurity she had heard in his voice.

“Alice . . .” he said after a long silence. He kept his gaze trained on Kayla’s sleeping face. “About last night?” Alice tensed, and she lowered her eyes to the ice-cold glass of mango juice in her hands.

“I just . . . I never meant . . .” He paused again, and the silence grated on her nerves until she could stand it no more. His beautiful blue eyes at last rose to meet hers.

“Look, Jack,” she said, breaking the silence, hoping that her face reflected the resolution that she could hear in her voice. “I know how much you hate me. In fact, believing what you do about me, I can even understand why you feel the way you do. Anybody who would so cold-bloodedly desert their spouse at the scene of an accident is certainly someone who deserves no forgiveness.”

“You’re . . .”

“I’m not even going to try to defend myself anymore,” she said firmly, interrupting whatever he’d been about to say. “There’s really no point, is there? You’ve hated me for so long I don’t think I’ll ever be able to change your mind. All I ask is that you put this . . . this contempt you have for me aside for Kayla’s sake. Hate me if you must. I think I can almost live with it now that I know you never really loved me, but try to be less obvious about it.” His eyes narrowed as he assessed her face; there was another lengthy silence as he considered her words before shrugging.

“I have a couple of questions,” he murmured, and she bit her lip before nodding. “How long were you at the beach house?” Whatever she had expected, that certainly wasn’t it. She blinked a couple of times before shrugging.

“A couple of weeks,” she managed softly.

“So, if your story is to be believed . . .”

She resisted the overwhelming urge to reach over and slap him for the blatant sarcasm in his voice.

“. . . You went there directly after leaving here, to wait for me, right?”

“Why don’t we just agree to let this matter go?” she asked, not in the mood to defend herself against any more of his crazy accusations.

“No.” He shrugged her request aside nonchalantly. “So, how is it that you never once heard about my accident? Apparently it was in all the papers and had news coverage on radio, television, and the Internet. Are you telling me you missed all of that?”

“Do really think that I spent my days watching the telly and listening to music?” she asked in exasperation. “I could barely drag myself out of bed and into the shower most days. I was ill from the morning sickness, exhausted, scared, and every day that passed without word from you sent me deeper into depressed isolation. So yes, I’m telling you I missed all of that!”

His eyes flickered and she thought she caught a glimmer of uncertainty in them before they went icy with disdain again. She shook her head.

“When are Rick and Nancy due back from their holiday?”

“Saturday,” he replied shortly before continuing on with the original conversation. “So after it became painfully self-evident that I would not be coming for you, what did you do then?” Not caring for the mockery in his eyes and voice and fed up with his determination to disbelieve every little thing she said, Alice got up shakily and rounded the table, reaching out possessively to take her daughter from his arms.

“I’ll put her to bed,” she told him without meeting his eyes.

“Your story is full of holes, Alice, you know that,” he murmured almost gently. “I’d be willing to move on if you’d only admit to being at the scene of my accident.” She lifted blazingly furious eyes to his.

“It would be so terribly convenient for you if I admitted to that, wouldn’t it, Jack?” she asked angrily. “That way you wouldn’t have to feel any guilt about driving your pregnant wife out into the streets. No guilt about leaving her to fend for herself while she was so ill she was terrified she would lose your baby. You wouldn’t have to be accountable for anything that has happened since the night I left. Well, you can go to hell because I refuse to give you that satisfaction.”

Alice turned away angrily and carried Kayla back into the house. She headed straight for the baby’s room and after tucking her in, stood beside the cot and watched the baby sleep, her heart absolutely overflowing with love for the innocent child.

“You’re worth everything, my darling,” she whispered, leaning over to kiss her short, silky curls. When she straightened up and turned around, Jack was standing in the doorway, still wearing nothing but his board shorts. She frowned resentfully, annoyed that a deaf man could move so silently, and moved to pass him. He barely shifted, crowding her abominably as she tried to squeeze through the doorway and into the hall. She flushed crimson when she inadvertently brushed against his muscular naked chest. She frowned up at him, making sure he was looking at her before she spoke.

“Get out of my way,” she demanded, and he grinned lazily.

“Glad to see you’re getting your fire back, babe . . .”

“Don’t call me that,” she reprimanded, and he grinned.

“You never complained before.” She went an even brighter red as she recalled the very rare instances during which he had used the endearment in the past—always in the most intimate of circumstances and very rarely outside of bed. He had used it now just to rattle her—she could see it in his eyes. She pursed her lips and pushed her way past him. He grabbed her wrist, just as she thought she’d managed to escape.

“Pierre and Alice are coming around for dinner,” he informed her idly, ignoring the way she tugged furiously, trying to get loose. “Try not to embarrass me with any more lies or insincere shows of concern while they’re here.” She gasped at the sharp stab of pain at his casual cruelty.

“Jack, I’m really starting to hate you,” she stated conversationally, and he raised his brows lazily.

“Are you?” He smiled. “That’s a shame. I did so enjoy being worshipped by you.”

“I never worshipped you, you arrogant bastard!” she managed furiously. “I loved you. More than you could ever comprehend.” His grip slackened and she tugged herself free. “I now see that you never deserved that love!” He seemed unable to respond, merely keeping his level gaze on her emotional face. She made a despairing little sound in the back of her throat and turned to walk away.

“Alice,” he called after her, and she stopped, her back going rigid as she braced herself for another blow. “If you loved me you would never have left me.”

“I didn’t leave you, you jackass,” she muttered beneath her breath, knowing that he could not see the denial while she stood with her back to him.

“You would never have driven off without giving me the chance to apologize . . .” His voice was closer, and she knew that he had come up right behind her. “You would have stayed to hear me grovel and beg your forgiveness, because if you loved me, you would have known me well enough to appreciate that an apology would not be far off.” His hands came to rest on her narrow shoulders, and she flinched as she felt the warmth of his flesh through the thin cotton of her T-shirt. She turned around slowly and lifted her eyes to meet his.

“I knew that,” she admitted. “I left to give you some space to clear your head and to give myself time to gather my own confused thoughts. I knew you’d come and that’s the reason I waited and waited and waited at that damned beach house! I knew you would come . . . only you never did.

“When I eventually concluded that maybe you really wanted nothing to do with us, I called your office to talk about child support and was quite bluntly informed that—Mr. Palmer did not want to speak to me or hear from me ever again—You weren’t answering your cell phone, and nobody was answering at the house.” She watched as his eyes hardened and his hands fell away.

“My God, can’t you ever stop lying?” he muttered in frustration. “I could buy into maybe being mistaken about seeing you at the scene of my accident. I can even try to believe that maybe you hadn’t seen a single newspaper article, television report, or heard any radio news, but none of my people would ever have said those words to you!”

“Oh, believe what you want, Jack,” she responded wearily and turned away. She was so sick of defending herself to him.

“Oh no you don’t.” He caught her arm in a bruising grip to prevent her from walking away. “I spent two years looking for you, Alice. Why would I have told my staff to stonewall you when I was trying so hard to find you? So you are not going to try to make me feel guilty about something that I never authorized, something that would never have happened, not in a million years!” She shook her head and stepped back, jerking her arm violently out of his tight grip before deciding to make use of some of the SASL that she had learned and using her hands rather eloquently to say something quite unmistakable. For a second he was taken aback, and he blinked a couple of times before bursting into laughter, the sound so natural and spontaneous that it took her completely by surprise.

“You didn’t just tell me to . . .” He trailed off before saying the obscenity, and she jutted her jaw stubbornly, refusing to be charmed by his genuine amusement.

“So what if I did?” she asked defiantly. His eyes were still brimming with laughter as he shrugged.

“Nothing, I’m just impressed with your extensive knowledge of SASL.” He shrugged and she went bright red.

“Not that extensive,” she told him self-consciously. “It was the first thing I learned because I knew that it would probably come in handy in most of my dealings with you.”

“Good call,” he complimented, and she cleared her throat before moving away from him without another word and retreating to her bedroom.