The Exiled King's Guard

Chapter 13: Disagreement

“ Are you sure it’s nothing? Because it doesn’t seem like nothing. And if I know you at all, it has something to do with what happened last night.”

Aha! I thought to myself, so the uncomfortable truth is about to be addressed. If I had not had that tiny amount of time to grieve before, if I had not reached the clarity of what I was to him, disposable my mind interjected its own train of thoughts unhelpfully. I would probably have reacted in the emotional way he was expecting or even imagining I was doing right now. I could tell this was my cue to step in, call it casual, label or acknowledge it in some way he could fathom.

I shook my head instead. “You are not making much sense Zach. So many things happened last night, I am not sure which one has caught so much of your attention that you are trying to argue with me.”

“ If this is about the barmaid this morning, she was only a means to an end. It meant nothing.”

Just like me, I thought, but only quirked an eyebrow in response. He suddenly pulled up his horse and came to a stop, forcing me to do the same.

“ And why am I even justifying my actions to you. You know undercover operations better than me. This type of thing is commonplace. As much as it is to get together casually with colleagues…” he trailed off, unsure of how to proceed further, looking at me for any hints. I kept my face impassive but it was time to respond.

“ So are you saying last night between you and me was casual?” I paused for only a moment, before saying, “Or are you saying that men tend to hook up casually with each other in undercover operations, since most spies are men?”

“ All I am saying is that I don’t want to hurt your feelings and make sure we are on the same page.”

“ The page being?”

“ That it was casual, that we were helping each other relieve the stress of the situation." I rejoiced internally that I had gotten him to finally admit it. "But you obviously know that. I don’t know why we are having this conversation anyway.”

“ Well, you did start it, so you know better why we are having this conversation.” I was beginning to enjoy it, his discomfort and guilt were digging him further into the deep hole he had dug for himself.

“So you agree that it was all good fun?” he asked hopefully.

“ Tell me Zach, these other women you slept with back home, had they been made aware of their relationship statuses prior to the deed?”

“ You could be less clinical about this.” I fixed him with a gaze that said you are avoiding my question. He sighed.

“Yes, they were aware.”

“How? Was there a verbal or written contract? An arrangement of some sort”

He responded, now regretting his words. “ There were conversations which implied that it was casual.”

“ And were these implicatory conversations had happened with me too?”

He shook his head, looking everywhere but at me. “ And since you did mention last night that you were aware of my feelings towards you, such an admission is dismissal of a casual encounter, is it not? It implies forethought and understanding of one’s actions?”

“ You cant bind me to this encounter! And besides, who treats a one night event which such a clinical appraisal. This shows that you had put prior thought into it! You planned to seduce me and then trick me to be with you using your vile tactics!! How dare you!!! I am your PRINCE! You can’t force me into anything!! You have no authority to influence my decisions. You are only a lowly commander. It is me picking you to be friends with is what is making you so bold. Remember that!!” he stopped red in the face with anger and panic, breathing heavily.

I had fixed him with a cold gaze throughout his outburst. Unflinching and unresponsive.

“ If I may speak, Your Majesty”, I dragged out the last couple of words, putting all of my disdain behind it.

He didn’t say anything, continuing to fume and pant like an angry dog.

“ I believe it was you who suggested us sleeping together, no, decided on us sleeping together, calling upon the romantic feelings you knew I held for you, so me seducing you is out of the question.” I took a deep breath thinking about my next words.

“ As for my authority, you have made it clear that you are my prince, and I am a commander of spies. I have always remembered that, and have been acting in accordance, even now, giving counsel by asking questions, not making conclusions. All the conclusions you have made are your own.” I said, my eyes now blazing. I had to make an effort to hide the rage I was feeling. The one thing that was keeping me from collapsing and allowing me to view everything from a distance.

“Now if we may? It is preferable to reach Emerteria before nightfall”, I said, turning around and coaxing Bean to start moving, without waiting for an answer.

We rode in silence after that. I had won the round, but things were going to be bad between us, atleast for a while. He hadn’t liked it when I had hinted at him having taken advantage of me. But that’s exactly what he had done, even if there was consent, he was deceiving me the whole time, sure this worked when there was arm twisting with other kingdoms, but not with your friends. Not friends, that voice was back again. He had let it slip out that while I was his friend, he was not mine. Though I had come to the same conclusion before, it had left a bad feeling at the pit of my stomach. But what was there except to keep moving. Onwards, I thought, sighing internally.

We kept moving, stopping for food and water a couple of times, maintaining a good pace. We had crossed the border villages and were approaching the capital. The gates could be seen up ahead. There was a queue to enter, the tradesmen, farmers and any other travelers trying to get into the safety of the city before dark. We joined the end of the queue which was inching forward at an agonizing pace. The guards at the gate seemed to be very thorough. I felt good. Maybe they were aware of the unrest in the east and doing more checks, or maybe they were that vigilant all the time. Either way, they had already gained some respect in my eyes. Though it didn’t necessarily mean they didn’t have infiltrators like we had, it would be that much harder to get in. I finally relaxed a little, feeling more at ease than I had felt since we ran from Cairintar. Even if King Reston refused to help us, we would be safe given that Zach was the late Queen's kin. I could stop watching over my shoulder and fearing for my life for some time. What a relief!