If only

You have a secret

“So, this is where you wanted to go?”

A blissful smile lingers on Jill’s alluring face as she brought Wayne to a Milk Tea café. A place where most people usually date, a favorite place of people who have enough money or a persistent girlfriend trying to leech his boyfriend. But neither the less, they came here as an agreement. Wayne looked around, a cringe and disappointed look. It was filled with green like a matcha, a rounded table paired with rounded soft chairs. Noises from people flirting, bright smile from the waiter on the counter.

“I never go out in places like this.” He sighed as he took the order. “This feels uncanny.”

“Well. It’s good for our first date.” Jill said happily.

“Who said this is a date?” Wayne raised his eyebrows and looked muddled. He never went out with a girl nor said about anything about date.

“No one. HeHehe..” Jill giggled. She looked more confident than before, but it was all fireworks and disaster inside of her. She kept looking at his eyes, but he was occupied by his surroundings. “You really find this uncomfortable, do you?”

“I guess you could say that. Especially, this place is filled of couples,” said Wayne.

“But we are a couple, so there’s no problem, right?” Jill gave a teasing wink.

“The f**k are you talking about?” he looked at her with disgust.

“Oh, come on! At least ride along...” Jill pouted.

“I’m not really in the mood, plus we’re not even close." Wayne sighed. "Thanks, by the way, for patching up my wounds. Where did you learn that?” The young man asked.

“Ouchieees that’s kinda mean. Well, I learned it in the disaster preparedness last year, I assumed that you didn’t attend?” Jill replied.

“Yeah, probably on my house sleeping or whatever. I don’t like school activities.”

“Well, there’s a bonus grade, so I have to take it.”

“Two medium size of Honey dew milk. For Jill and Wayne?” The waiter called out their names. Jill looked at Wayne and asked, “Can you take our order?”

“Sure, no problem.” Wayne got up and went to the counter. Jill looked at the time, it was quarter to 5 pm. Time is running out, and she hasn’t made progress. She sighed, it’s not that she want to rush things. But today is one of lifetime opportunity she had, it’s a first time go out alone with a guy, and a first time to even go out on milk. She didn’t want to miss what’s given to her.

” Get it together, Jill,” she said to herself while she clapped her cheeks to give an extra boost to her confidence. You could say a self-push.

“Hey, I got our orders.” Wayne returned with their drinks. The green alien like looking milk tea. She carefully examined it, “This is what we ordered?”

“Yeah, it’s honey dew, here have a taste” He gave the milk tea with her name on it.

“Thanks,” said Jill.

There was a span of silence between them. The two looked at each other, both waiting for one of them to try. Jill looked at her cup, it doesn’t look like in the picture, bright, and appealing. It looked more like a green mashed veggie.

“Shall we? Maybe it tastes good?” She broke the silence and took a sip of the cold milk tea. A slight sweetness, that what she felt. The unique melon flavor and sweetness of an overload of condense, they tried to hide the flavor of tea, but there is more to it.

“Do you thinking what I’m thinking?” Wayne asked with the looks of disgust, he wanted to spit it out, but that would be rude, and he doesn’t to. The two giggled at the same time. As they dropped the cup and left the place.

“It’s a waste of money though, that’s like 70 pesos, and we just left it there.” she looked a bit disappointed. 

“Well, better leave it and tell them how it sucks than force yourself to like it,” said Wayne.

“I guess you’re right, in some ways. But still a waste of money," she answered with guilt.

Jill felt the guilt while walking outside. She looked down and sighed, she blew of the chance. They only been there for a short moment of time. “Operation date was failure” She utter on her head.

“So, where are you heading?” Wayne asked.

She looked in surprise and asked, “To the southern terminal, why?”

“Well, I should come along, it’s a bit dark now”

MAYBE I STILL HAVE A CHANCE

Jill looked at him and thought that there might be a chance. He might be interested, or just a gentleman. But by the looks of it, he wasn’t bad nor nice. He says things honestly, yet knows how to keep his words in the right place. It was too soon to assume, but it certainly made her day. The two crossed the road and head to the market, that one of the shortest routes, not what she expects but better take the offer than be a typical pabebe girl. Jill mustered all the courage she had in store for class recital, she looked at him held the bottom part of his polo.

“Hey?”

Wayne stopped and turned around, and responded. “What is it?”

There was another wave of silent. Words build up inside here, her confidence was like a roller coaster that time, fluctuating up and down. But an epiphany came, there shouldn’t be a shame when facing the person, you love.

Jill described the situation like within space, where one utter words yet she herself couldn’t hear what she had said.

“I want to know more about you.. Mind if I ask you some questions?” Jill asked.

Wayne looked confused, “There isn’t much to tell. Why? Why do you ask?”

A short pause from Jill. It all made sense, what she has said. Even she herself were confused.

Why did I ask that?

“Didn’t I say the answer already?”

“I see, but the truth is that there isn’t much to tell… What you see is what I am and not what you thought about me. What do you see me as?” he asked.

Jill looked at him. She always wondered why he doesn’t socialize to people, why he looked down. She has been observing him since the day he moved in their school. He is always near the window, staring at the sky as the hour passed bye, he would leave first than anyone and arrive few minutes before class. There’s less detail to tell, thus Jill said these four words,

“You have a secret...”

The reaction was stark, obvious. Jill hit the bull eye; his eyes doesn’t seem to lie. He was alarmed of what he heard. Jill felt the same way, but it was deep inside her, these are the feelings that she couldn’t show to him.

“That’s what I see inside you. You are mysterious in our eyes,, but there is more to that! I can feel it.”

“Perhaps you’re right, or perhaps not, but neither the less it’s none of your business...” The gloomy looked turned into something ominous, it was death glare. The urges to kill someone, slit their throat or choke them. Jill knew that feeling, especially the sensation of anger. But it was a normal for her, she can handle well her emotion, play hide-and-seek with it. Thus, she paired it with a teasing eyes and laughter, “HEHEHEHE don’t worry…I won’t bother for now...”

“For now? So, you have plans too?” Wayne quizzed in an irritable to tone. “I would appreciate if you don’t...”

“Well, I kind of want too Hehe. I’m very curious about you,” Jill replied with a giggle.

He didn’t like what he heard and turned his back, attempted to walk away but Jill stopped him as she held his two hands.

FUCCCCK!!! MY HEART!! JILL CALM DOWN!! CALM DOWN!!

She remained in character while screaming deep inside her. “Eyyyyy not fair, you said you would walk me...”

” I lost my mood; I know you can handle walking by yourself” He pulled his hands, but Jill grabbed it tightly. She locked her hands as if her life depends on it. There was a sensation of bliss inside of her that she couldn’t express, the joy in her hearts cannot be contained as she played the tug of war with the person she likes.

“I won’t let you boy, you have to walk with me” she grabbed him tenaciously.

“Woman! Why are you so damn persistent?”

“Should I tell you? But first you have to tell me your secrets!!”

“Oh please, better stop that…”

“I won’t!! You better walk with me, like what you said earlier.”

“Whatever, I gave up...” At that moment, he just easily surrendered and let Jill clung to him. From afar, they looked like a couple or a newlywed, whatever you describe it or whatever your snitch neighbor named aleng maria tells you. But for Jill, it was the happiest day of her life and as she thought that it was a peaked of joy.

“Thanks btw, you are damn annoying, but I had fun” Wayne looked at her and gave a smile. it wasn’t the joyous smile a man can give, but it was genuine. And that alone was enough for her heart to lose its life. Jill almost passed out when she got home.