Left Me Broken

Chapter 2

Today everything was going in a rush, the cafe getting louder and more crowded every passing minute. I jotted down another table’s order then hurried towards the kitchen to pick up the next order before the cook, Charley yelled at me.

“ Take a break, Ashley and have lunch," Sharley said.

“ Looking at the crowd, it would not be possible before three," I huffed as I filled the tray with food.

“ Just look at yourself, Ashley, you’re so skinny. I could see the bones beneath your dull skin. You shouldn't skip meals.” Sharley said as she poked her finger on my arm. “ You know I’ve heard men like curvy women."

“ Sure, they do but I don't care whatever they do like," I replied.

“ But I care about you so let's go and have lunch first," she practically grabbed my arm and pulled me out of the kitchen.

I went into a separate room which was reserved only for staff. I sat down on a chair and stretched my arms and legs to get relaxed.

“ Here you are, taste these cinnamon rolls and tell me if it's like mom does cook?" Sharley placed a plate full of cinnamon rolls and two huge bowls of hot soup. Sharley was the daughter of Martha, owner of the cafe. She was such a kind and friendly type of girl. She had dropped out of college because she didn't want to go. She wanted to help her mom run the cafe besides she loved baking and cooking.

I took a bite of the roll and flavours started to melt in my mouth. “ Amazing, you have done a great job, Sharley, " I said, giving her a thumbs up.

“ Thanks, Ashley," she giggled with excitement.

I grabbed a spoon and stirred the soup in the bowl. My gaze fell on my ring finger which was empty, without any wedding ring but it left a white spot on my finger. The white spot had faded away now like there was no ring before. But the scar I found on my heart would never fade away. It had been almost a year since I had left my husband. Still I had the nightmares of that night which turned my life upside down. His betrayal created a hole in my heart that could not be filled with anything. I made some promises to myself. I would not trust anyone with all my heart. I would not love anyone that it would become impossible for me to survive without him. I would not repeat the same mistakes and make a family with anyone so in the end I would not hurt when it got broken.

That day I ran away from there and went home. I cried the whole day and night. Every part of my body was aching miserably. I decided to end the marriage and filed a divorce. When Helly’s mother Julie knew the truth that her daughter was behind my failing marriage, instead of supporting me she blamed me that it was all my fault. Zach came to meet me and he was so furious at me.

“ I want a divorce, Zach,"

I didn't realize those were my words until I closed my eyes to endure the pain I was feeling right now.

“ You will be going to regret your choice, Ash, " the love of my life, my husband declared. His brown eyes held the threatening glint of rage as he stepped closer.

I turned my gaze to him and stared at his face. He had so many expressions at the same time- rage, sadness, hurt, regret, regression etc.. I felt that he regretted our marriage. He vowed to love me, to take care of me at the altar but it was all empty promises. Because in the first place marrying me wasn't his choice. He had to do it for his dad.

I swallowed hard and managed to say, “ My decision is final."

He grabbed me instantly and pushed me towards the wall. His jaw was clenched and he glared at me.

“ Don't think about betraying me, Ash. What do you think, hah? You would get money out of this? No, you would not get a single penny from me." His words were so cruel that for a second I stopped breathing. He was the one who betrayed me. How could he accuse me instead? I died inside from the moment I found him with another woman. His eyes filled with hatred as he jerked me away. I could feel boiling rage in his tone as it lingered in my head.

“ You are accusing me for cheating you,.." he laughed maniacally and continued, “ You’re far worse.. you have spent our wedding night with me only for getting money,"

I slapped him hard on his cheek as I couldn't bear his unjustified accusation. How could he degraced his own wife by saying that I slept with him for money? He looked at me with a shocked expression as if he didn't expect that from me. I was never a violent person but the phrase I was facing now made me a different person. But I didn't like these changes in me.

“ Don't think I didn't know you only married me for money.. Do you think I am a fool to love a person like you who can wed anyone who can provide her with the money that she wants." He said as his voice dipped into venom.

I had married him for money? I hadn't asked for money from him since I was married to him. What was he talking about? His declaration of not loving me ever threw knives straight into my wounded heart.

He asked me to stop the process and accused me of betraying him for his money. He promised me that he would not let me have a single penny from his wealth. He promised me that I would suffer for the betrayal. I couldn't believe he wanted to stay in the marriage that meant nothing to him. I asked for an explanation but again he could not give me one. I didn't want to see Helly again and I knew I could not stay at home so I moved from there. I demanded my son's custody but Zach completed his promise to make me suffer. They proved that I wasn't financially stable and could not raise my son properly. He snatched the most precious person of my life, my son, my Harvey. I broke from inside when I lost him. How could a mother live without her child. It became so hard for me. I had no home, no family, no love, no husband and at last I had to live without my son. I struggled to get him back but his mom, Jennifer, didn't leave any chance to destroy me. She was so furious at me for divorcing his son. Well I thought she would be happy at the same time because she never wanted me to become her daughter in law. I got permission from the court that I could meet Harvey once a week. Every day I missed him terribly, every night I ached to sing his favourite loubally. I was going into depression and I did something that I had to pay a huge price for. I was forbidden to meet my son from that day. It had been ten months and five days since I had seen my son.

“ Hey, your hot soup is getting cold," Sharley’s voice brought me back from my deep thoughts.

I cleared my throat and faked a smile before I took another sip of the soup.

“ Hey, my friend set me on a blind date," Sharley informed me excitedly.

“ Whoa, great," I responded.

“ But it's a double date so I have to bring a girl too,” she said and looked at me making a puppy face, “ Can you please come with me?"

I raised both my hands up in the air and replied, “ No… I can't,"

“ please Ashley.. come on you have to move on," she emphasized.

“ Don't even think about it.." I declared.

“ Think what? That you don't want to move on when your husband is screwing your step sister up all the time? They've been all over the media for a year now.. they often spot together with your son. One second there's another woman too, what was her name?..yeah, Jane, her name was Jane.. he’s dating different women without giving a f**k about you and here you are, totally messed up, not even wanting to try to move on. " she reprimanded me.

He was a free man now. There was no bond between us. He could do whatever he wanted to do. If he wanted to bang Helly or any other woman I didn't care. I tossed the spoon on the table and started drinking the soup from the bowl to finish it up quickly. I ignored the pang of jealousy twisting inside my heart. I reminded myself I wasn't in a position to feel resentment towards him. If he had chosen her over me, it was his loss.

I put the bowl back on the table and wiped my mouth. “ I mean… don't even think about me going on your blind date.” I laughed bitterly and continued, “ when I married a person I knew and trusted so much. I didn't realize he could break not only my heart but me completely. How could you think I would want to meet a stranger on some blind date and trust him to try to move on with him?"

Sharley pressed her lips together and placed her hand on my hand.

“ I’m sorry… I didn't say those words to hurt you. I just want you to be happy.." she said.

“ I know," I replied and got up from the chair. I reached near the door and turned around to face her. “ Don't forget to give me details," I winked at her and she gave a heartfelt laugh.

The cab pulled up in front of my apartment building. I handed him money and walked through the chilling air of winters. I huffed in annoyance as I noticed there was still a board of warning not to use the elevator because it was not fixed yet. I climbed up the stairs and reached my apartment on the third floor. I unlocked the door and went inside. Flipping the light on, I placed my purse on the table and sat down on my bed. My eyes surveyed the room as I had to clean it again. Actually I cleaned the room two days ago and it looked in a good position, it was neat with no dust or cobwebs. I shifted in this apartment because the rents here were cheap. My room had a bed at the centre, a small table with two chairs, a cabinet and most importantly it had a large window which gave me a view of the city and fresh air.

I stepped into the shower and the warm water felt good against my cold skin. The weather was freezing and the right temperature of the water calmed my strained nerves. I rubbed shower gel on my body and washed my hair with a mild fragranced shampoo. I wrapped a white towel over my body and walked out of the bathroom. I removed my dress from the cabinet and slipped the blue gown down on my body. After exhausting work during the day, all I wanted was a good sleep.

I microwaved the food I had made for breakfast to heat it up for my dinner. I sat on the chair and took chopsticks to eat noodles. I mixed some black pepper into the noodles and began to stir it with the chopsticks. I stopped after a while and shoved the plate aside. Suddenly I was not in a mood to eat noodles. I wasn't hungry so I went to bed and grabbed my pillow. I lay down and kept staring at the ceiling. Tears slid down from the corners of my eyes. I missed my son so much that I felt my life was not worth living without him. I loved him and I wanted to reach him this instant but I knew I could not.. I could not meet him again. That devil didn't let me meet him. I was losing everything and on the day of Harvey’s birthday I lost him too.

I didn't know if Harvey even remembered me now.

My phone started to ring from my purse. I grabbed my purse and removed my phone from it. The screen flickered, Sharley’s name flashed. Why was she calling me during her date?

I received the call and heard her voice.

“ Hello, Ashley, you’re right, I should've not come here to date a stranger," she said as she almost sobbed.