We woke up early. I wasn't sure I even slept. I tried. Maybe I did. For a moment? It feels like I haven't slept in years.
Kristy came in and pulled me out of bed. It was the big day. She seemed happier than me. She brought me to mom's room. The Dr was waiting. I guess having money does work out sometimes. He didn't draw blood, not today. He did an ultrasound instead.
We watched. I didn't know what I was looking at. After a bit the Dr said. "Do you see this? Little blinking light? That's a heartbeat. You are pregnant. Very early, but everything looks to be ok"
I didn't even know how to respond. I wanted it to be true, but I was still worried. Having a baby sounds awesome. Losing another sounds impossible. And I am so early again. And the what ifs just won't leave my head.
Mom was so ha
