Hellcat

Chapter 18

Wilder Sanchez

I'm actually excited when Mr Hall gives us our terminal partnership project. I used to hate those because most of the time, I ended up with a stranger who didn't want to be partners with me and sometimes I even had to do all the work all by myself. 

Mr Hall is a pretty slack teacher so he lets us choose our own partners for the project. I only have to wait for a few seconds before Josh is at my side, visibly shaking with excitement. 

"We're partners!" He screams joyously. 

"We already spend almost every day with each other. Why are you excited at the prospect of spending even more time together?"

"Because I finally have an excuse to invite you to my house, " Josh says. 

I'm about to point out the fact that I have already been to his house when I remember that the first time was with Abe and totally unofficial. Josh doesn't know I have been there before. And I don't want to put a damper on his excitement so I go along with his story. 

"Do you have a pool?" I ask in my best impression of excitement. Either my acting skills have improved or Josh is really that dense because he answers excitedly.

"Yes! In the backyard. Oh, I can't wait to have you ever. It's going to be so much fun."

"You realise the whole point of this is to work on an assignment that covers forty per cent of our grade?"

"Right, " Josh says sadly before brightening up quickly. "It doesn't mean it has to be boring. What do you think we should do for our project?" He asks. "I was thinking of making the Pont De Grenelle. It's a bridge in Paris that passes behind the Statue of Liberty. We can make it a three-dimensional landscape the Eiffel tower can even be in the background. I imagine that oughta fetch us some killer marks."

The only stipulation Mr Hall gave for the project was for it to made only from recycled materials. Apparently, our school is running a 'reduce, reuse, recycle' theme this year so everyone is going green. It explains the abundance of carrot sticks and kale chips in the vending machines and the lack of much-needed chocolate products. 

It's like they're trying to starve us. 

"That sounds cool, " I say. "But it also sounds like a lot of work."

"Come on, it'll be fun, " Josh argues, then, he wiggles his eyebrows suggestively. "And if it's a lot of work it means you will have more time to spend with me. In my bedroom." 

"I'll pass, " I chuckle.

Josh's smirk is instantly replaced with a frown. "You have got to be kidding me, Eli."

"How about this, "I suggest. " If we do your project idea, we have to split the labour sixty-forty."

Josh scores. "You can't be serious."

Ignoring him, I continue with what I am saying. "And, you have to buy me lunch for a week." 

"Forget it, " Josh says, standing up to look around the class for a less expensive person to partner up with. 

I smirked in relief when I realised everyone was already partnered up. "Boo hoo to you. I guess you're stuck with me."

Josh smirks back which has me confused. "I am glad I have finally grown on you."

"Like a parasite yeah, " I mutter with an eye roll though thinking about how much fun I have had with Josh only leaves me smiling. For a moment we are both quiet. Then, I can't help but ask. "How's Abe doing?"

"This morning he seemed in a much better mood than last night. He was singing while driving."

"Is that a good thing?" I ask because I have not yet come to completely understand his behaviour patterns and so don't know what's good what and what's not. 

Let's start with obvious. Spending time with you is not good. 

You're just jealous.

Why would I be jealous of myself?

Because you're just in my mind. You can't feel anything. 

So you admit you have feelings for him.

Friendship vibes, yes. Get your mind out of the gutter Leli.

It's your mind actually. I'm just a visitor. 

"It's a very good thing!" Josh exclaims. "I wonder what might have put him in such a good mood between the doctor's office and home."

I think about that little candle I gave him with the original label on it and a tiny part of me can't help but wonder and even dare to hope that my gift might have had a little something to do with mood change.

"So does that mean he's coming to the game tonight?" I ask. 

"He's still team captain, so yeah. You're coming too, right?" Josh asks. 

"I have plans, " I say vaguely. My drug supply has run out so I need to meet with Jake at The Shelter for some more. But these past few weeks, I barely feel the need to use them. It's only when I'm doing homework or sculpting that I feel the desire to get high. Speaking of sculpting, these last two weeks have afforded me very little time to continue on the bust I began but so far, I can now say that it is male. A male with high cheekbones and a sharp jawline. So all I know for now is that I've got my mind pined on an attractive male. 

Could be Aspen.

Funny. If I wasn't with Josh, I might have snorted out loud. 

"What kind of plans?" Josh questions, his curiosity has been poked by my vagueness. 

"The kind of plans that don't involve you and thus shouldn't be your concern."

Now Josh is upset. "But Eli, " he whines. "We're best friends, remember? We are supposed to tell each other everything. Tell me." 

I can think of a thousand different things he does not know about me, and yet this one little insignificant one is the one he oh so desperately wants to know. I wonder what Josh will think of me if he ever finds out the truth. He will probably hate me forever. Which is why I have to keep on lying to him.

Not lies, half-truths

If it's only half the truth then the other half is a lie.

Are you seriously having a crisis of morality right now? 

No, I still think he shouldn't know.

I giggle at the desperation in his eyes. "Not telling, " I say stubbornly, snickering when he begins to sulk. 

"You're mean, " he weeps. "You know I want to know."

I smirk and wink at him. "Which is exactly why I'm not telling."

Autumn's show of powers begins in the falling of red and orange-hued leaves everywhere I look. The weather this evening is crisp and cold. I'm wearing a tricked out leather jacket complete with studs, zippers and a tasteful 'beat it loser' printed across the back. There are touches of gold and glitter shimmering around my eyes and dusting around my shoulders. I think I look good when I arrive at our school at six pm. 

I make my way to the bleachers opposite the basketball court and begin looking for Josh. I find his older brother instead. 

"Hey, " I greet calmly, sitting next to him. 

Abe looks up at me, an easy smile forming on his face. He speaks quietly. "Hi." Then. "You look like you are heading to a bar to drink whiskey with biker gangs."

"Don't you kid yourself, " I chuckle. "I do that on Saturday." 

Abe bursts into laughter. I can't help but stare at him when he laughs. The laugh is in his eyes, in the way his face transforms into an image of relaxed elation and expressive glee. 

He notices my staring and the laughter fades into silence. But there is still a tiny smile playing at the corners of his lips. 

"How's your ankle?" I ask while staring at the ungainly boot on his right leg. 

"Good, " he says while staring at me. "Thanks for the candle. It really lit up my night."

I chortle at his clever play on words. "I'm just glad you liked it."

For a moment, we are both quiet as we watch the basketball cheer squad begin their dance routine. The boys parade onto the court a few minutes later, Aspen is wearing the captain band and is leading them. Abe stiffens beside me. 

"You okay?" I ask, sensing his unease when the boys from Rastin arrive. They're mammoths, all six feet plus with bodies of nothing but rock-solid muscle. And their faces are so menacing it's no wonder Abe is uneasy. 

"I'm fine, " but he doesn't look fine. Abe forces his eyes away from the court. "At least now you see why I was grilling the team so hard."

"Your team will crash them, " I insist. 

Abe smiles at me. "Thanks."

"You should go talk to them, " I suggest. "Give them a pep talk before they get into the game. With the way Keith is trembling in his shoes, I think they need it."

Abe nods. "That's a good idea. I'll be right back."

I stare at him as he climbs down the steps to the court. He moves over the barrier that separates the crowd from the court and goes over to the Westreet side of the court. 

I watch as the boys huddle up around him and he says something that makes them laugh. Then, his face is serious again. He only says a few words but when he is leaving, I can see that he has made an impact on the guys. They look less desolate than they did before. Keith is even wearing his usual boyish grin. 

"What up, Eli?" Josh asks, bringing me out of my thoughts as he sits next to me and casually drapes his hand over my shoulder. 

"Nothing much, " I answer, not looking at him, eyes intent on the basketball court. "Just waiting for the game to begin."

"Do you know how it works?" He asks.

"Do you?" I turn to face him for the first time. His cheeks are rosy and his eyes are shining. 

"I have a fair idea, " he answers testily. That translates to I'm as clueless as you are.

"What's got you in such a good mood?" I ask. 

Josh looks startled that I have caught on to the delight that shines in his baby blues. "It's that obvious?"

"It couldn't be more obvious if you went around carrying a neon sign above your head that said 'I'm happy' while yelling the words 'I'm happy' into a megaphone."

 "Man, I suck at this, " Josh mumbles under his breath I almost miss it. 

"Suck at what? You know, besides combing your hair, it's a mess." 

"I won't tell you, " he states matter-of-factly.

"Why not?" I cry in surprise. "You can't do that."

"Yes, I can, " Josh says unaware of how childish he sounds. "You did the same thing to me this morning."

I pinch my lips together. "It's different."

"How is different?" Josh demands. "I thought you trusted me, Eli. But if you don't even trust me enough to tell me your Friday night plans, why should I tell you what has made me happy."

"I'm sorry, " I exhale. 

"About what exactly? Lying to me? Not trusting me enough after everything I have told you? Using me?"

"Everything, " I sigh. "I was going to meet with Jake."

"Who's Jake?" Abe asks. 

I freeze up. 

I seriously planned on telling Josh the truth but I cannot under any circumstances, say it with Abe over here. For some reason, I don't want him to think any worse of me than he already does. It's bad enough we met at involuntary community service which automatically gives me a bad name but finding out about my drug use would be the cherry on the cake. 

"Yeah, Eli. Who's Jake?" Josh implores. 

"Jake." I draw in a shaky breath. This is the hardest it has ever been for me to lie to someone. And I don't know whether it is because of Abe's penetrating stare or the fact that there are human-sized bats flapping in my stomach. "Jake is my boyfriend."

Abe looks away with a crushed expression on his face. 

Somehow, I just know that I have said the wrong thing. 

"What?" Josh asks in surprise. "I thought you said you didn't date and some other nonsense like that. You were supposed to be my sister in whoring around!" He complains. 

"Our relationship is... Complicated." I turn to glance at Abe only to realise that he's walking away. "Where are you going?" I ask. 

He turns around to look at me. "To talk to Misty."

"You talked to Misty and didn't tell me?" Josh asks, losing interest in the conversation about my fake boyfriend. "Well, what did she say about me?"

"We didn't talk about you, " he says. "Cheerio."

Did Abe just say breakfast cereal?

"Who's Misty?" I ask when Abe is out of earshot. 

"Abe's significant other," Josh answers breezily. "And anyway don't think I have forgotten about our earlier conversation. You still have to explain the details of your relationship with Jake."

"There's no relationship, " I say, feeling relief that the truth that was suffocating me is now open to everyone. Well, only Josh.

"But you just said he's your boyfriend."

"I forgot to indicate the space between the boy and friend. Jake used to go to our school but he dropped out of school to pursue a music career. We only get to meet up when his band is not performing gigs out of state."

This is partially true. Jake is a musician. That's how he got introduced to drugs and eventually went into the trade of them. But I did not include the part about him being my dealer so technically, Josh still doesn't know the story.

"Then what are you doing here?" Josh demands. "You shouldn't have cancelled your meeting with him. Abe and I will be fine."

Guilt is an ugly mistress that likes to rear her head only when things are going great. 

"I think I'd rather be here with you." And Abe, I think. He is a good friend. He deserves to know the truth. 

"Weatherly, " Josh says her name quietly. "She invited me to her cousin's graduation."

"Josh, that's great news!" I exclaim. "It means you are winning the bet."

"I hadn't even thought about that, " he murmurs lowly, scratching the back of his neck awkwardly. "I kinda like her."

"But that's great!" I say again. "Why don't you sound happy about it?" 

"Because I feel like I'm lying to her. She doesn't know about the bet so she thinks my intentions on befriending her were purely innocent. I hate to imagine what she will think when she finds out."

"Tell her, " I say. "She deserves to know."

Some great advice. I think you should take it. 

You mean tell Josh the full truth about Jake? No way. 

I know I was the one who said it wasn't a good idea but now I think you're doing the wrong thing by lying to him.

It's not lying. They're half-truths. 

If it's only half the truth then the other half is a lie. Now, where does that sound familiar? 

Josh nods. "I think I will." He stands to leave. 

"You're telling her right now?" I ask in shock. 

"Yeah, if it's going to come out it's better now than later, right?" He asks. 

I think about the numerous arguments I have had with myself when it comes to the truth and this causes me to lower my head as I murmur the word, "Right."

"Cheers, " I say.

Abe turns around at the sound of my voice. "What?"

"Cheers, " I repeat, feeling awkward as I stand in front of him. We are standing in front of his car. Josh said he wanted the three of us to go out to celebrate the victory against Rastin High but he was chatting with Weatherly leaving me with Abe. 

I considered pretending to have forgotten and walked back home but decided against it. It is time I suck things up and face my problems like a woman. That's why I approach Abe as he's unlocking the car door. 

"You won the game against Rastin, " I elaborate.

"I didn't do anything. It was my team that won the game. I didn't even touch the ball."

"You did a lot, Abe. You helped them train and practice. And even though you were not on the court playing with them, you motivated them to play their best. It's because of you that they won."

"Why are you talking to me anyway? Shouldn't you go see your boyfriend Jake?" He asks with a bitter look on his face when he says Jake's name. They have not officially met and already Abe does not like him. It's the first I have seen Abraham Bennett look like a spiteful teenager.

He looks... human. 

I've made him human. And yet, I don't regret it. 

Stifling a giggle I say, "Jake is not my boyfriend."

"But you said..." Abe falters. "Then who is he?"

"An old buddy. We were supposed to meet up tonight but I cancelled because of the game and Josh wanted to know who he was and I just lied that Jake and I were dating."

"I guess it makes sense, " Abe says quietly. "You don't date." He doesn't sound upset as he says the words. In fact, he's smiling. 

"That's because." I smile back at him. "I like to keep things real, " I say.

Abraham Bennett

She smiles back at me, her lips immensely kissable, her teeth a bright arc in the night. "I like to keep things real, " she says. Then, turning, she walks away. 

"Where are you going?" I ask when I have recorded from my dizzying sense of desire. I've never been this attracted to a woman the way I feel around Wilder. It's like I'm dancing with fire but I want to get burnt. And the burn is so good, so hot yet soothing. 

She turns back to face me. "To find Josh."

The statement pours ice-cold water on my passion. When it is just the two of us alone, it's easy for me to forget that she's my little brother's best friend. He seems to be what she only wants to talk about when we are together. 

"Good luck with that, " I say but my throat is suddenly raw so I clear it with a loud cough and repeat my statement. 

"Don't leave without us, " she jokingly orders, disappearing into the school building.

I stare at the door she just went through and murmur lowly, "I would never."