Hellcat

Chapter 16

Wilder Sanchez

Abe and I have just checked out from the community service place and are currently in his car heading to only God know where. We have both been quiet. Abe appears to be completely focused on the road. He's tense, gripping the steering wheel tightly with both arms. And I'm lost in thought, Judas Priest's Painkiller blaring loudly in my ears. I'm surprised my eardrums have lasted this long under all the rock and roll torture I have put them through. 

You're not the least bit concerned for your safety?

Why should I be? It's just Abe.

Underestimating Abe could be your handling, Eli. 

What? So you're saying he might be a serial r****t or murderer. Yeah, the odds of that being the truth are zero to none. 

Just find out where he's taking you.

Ah, I see what's going on here. 

What? I don't know what you're talking about. 

You hate surprises. You don't like hot knowing what's going on.

No, Leli scoffs. Even so, could you find out where he's taking us, please? I'm starting to feel uncomfortable.

There is no 'us'. Only me. 

I'm called little Eli for a reason. I'm in you.

Does that mean I'm pregnant?

No! Don't be stupid. I told you, I'm only in your mind. And sometimes I manifest into your character. Whenever you make stupid decisions that you instantly regret? That's me. 

I should have suspected something earlier. It clarifies a lot of things actually. 

Like?

For one, I'm having a conversation with my conscience. I could just as easily block you out with some loud rock and roll or shake you out of my head.

In case you didn't notice, we are already listening to music. Judas Priest, I think. And shaking your head only disorients me. You can't get rid of me. 

You keep reminding me of that.

Only because you keep trying to kick-

"We're here, " Abe says, bringing my conversation with Leli to an abrupt end. 

Were not done yet, young lady.

Oh, go to hell b***h. 

"Where is here?" I ask looking around me. Abe is parked in front of what appears to be a church. "Did you seriously bring me to a church to rehearse your lines?"

"In retrospect, " he searches the back of his neck awkwardly. "This isn't such a good idea."

"Is this your dad's church?" I ask staring at the statue of a woman with a swaddled baby in her arms in the middle of the parking lot in front of the church. 

"You know about my dad?" Abe asks in surprise. 

I hit my hand against the back of my head in self-reproach. "Josh told me."

"Ah," Abe says as if only know recollecting the friendship that exists between myself and his little brother. 

"Shall we go in?" I ask starting at the gothic-style church building. There is something very magnetic about its brick walls and plate glass windows. 

Abe looks at me. "This was a mistake. I'll take you somewhere else."

I nod, a little disappointed if I am being honest. I have never been the pious type. I used to attend church service with Lucas and Nanny Jay on Sunday's but that was it for me. 

Abe turns on the ignition and drives away, keeping his speed well within road regulations. I get bored with staring out the window and go back to my game. Bubble Shooter is a very time-absorbing game and the minutes pass like micro-seconds so when Abe stops in the middle of nowhere twenty minutes later, I feel like it has been less than a minute actually. 

"What are we doing here?" I ask, looking around the plain fields of golden corn stalks that surround us in every direction. The fields are bathing in the violet-pink light of the sunset and it all looks so beautiful it takes me a full minute to realise we're in the countryside. 

"I considered all my options and concluded this was the best place to rehearse. Where there are no restrictions. So should we sit in the car or on it."

"Outside will be better, " I say mainly just so I can feel the late summer dusk breeze on my legs which have been exposed to the world by my black leather miniskirt. I chose the perfect day to wear a skirt. 

"I think so too. There, I will be able to do the physical movements that accompany the words. 

We get out of the car. My boots sink into the blades of grass, pressing softly on them. The air is heavy with the sweet scent of coneflowers and asters. I inhale sharply and pull my earbuds out of my ears. 

Abe moves to lie down on the bonnet of his car. I choose to stand, staring around the beautiful prairie in wonder. 

"Maybe this wasn't such a good idea either." He says after a long silence. "You're so distracted by the fields."

"I'm not distracted. I'm just taking it all in. You can go ahead and start." I cross the distance between us and sit next to him on the car. Above, I stare at the darkening sky. The red and gold hues of the day are slowly receding into the background of darker sunset hues. 

"Here's a copy of the script," he says, handing me a bundle of papers. "Let's start with the third scene. You can be Jaya. And I'll be Arnav."

I flip through the papers to the third scene of Act I. "Oh, Arnav I have some dreadful news," I read this with as much passion as I can convey.

Abe looks at me incredulously. "You're kidding, right?"

"You were supposed to say, 'What's wrong Jaya?'," I snap. "I told you I was no good at this but I expect you to be the least bit decent in pointing it out."

"I'm sorry," he murmurs. Then, schooling his face into an expression of concern he says, "What's wrong Jaya?"

"Fabian wants to marry me."

Abe or should I say, Arnav places his hand on his chin thoughtfully. "I see how that can be a problem." 

"It's terrible! Horrible, the worst thing that could happen to me."

"Now, now Jaya don't you think you're exaggerating just a little bit," Arnav asks. 

I stare at the paper and mentally scoff at the next line. "No. I thought you of all people would understand me Arnav."

Abe touches my arm lightly. I stiffen. It's all an act. Then why is my skin of fire? "I do understand, Jaya. Don't you think I should have a reason to be concerned that the love of my life has received a marriage proposal from the prince?" 

I blush, and it's not fake. Staring at the paper I murmur lowly, "We talked about this, Arnav."

"I know. I know you want to figure your act out first. Just know that I'm always here for you, okay. You can count on me. To be a brother, friend, advisor, and maybe one day, when you are ready, I can be more." Abe smiles up at me. A crooked grin that leaves me breathless for a full ten seconds.

I smile back. I don't need to look at the page to know the line to say next. "I know."

"This is the part where we are supposed to break out into song and dance but I don't think that would be appropriate. Dancing in the dark with you between my arms? I'll pass."

"That last statement sounded like it should be a song lyric."

"It is. Ed Sheeran's perfect." 

"Maybe, I've heard it before and didn't recollect, " I say. 

Abe stares at me. "Maybe."

"So where were we?" I ask, trying to bring us back on track seeing as we have gone off-script. 

After the part where Jaya and Arnav sing, she has to go to work, she's a teacher at a local preschool. She teaches religious studies and English. And Arnav goes to work. He's a hunter so he goes to the forest to check on the traps he has set. That's when he is confronted by the chief's son Fabian. Arnav is arranging slabs of bush meat on a bamboo platform so they can be dried when Fabian shows up.

"So you're Fabian, and I'll be myself, " Abe says. 

I nod. Then look at the page. "Hello, Arnav."

"Good morning my prince," Abe says humbly. "I do not mean to be rude but might I inquire what brings you to my little hut."

"I came to seek your help, Arnav."

"And what can a lowly peasant hunter like me do to assist a majestic prince such as yourself?" Abe asks in exaggerated airs of humility and reverence. 

"It's about Jaya. I have heard rumours of your friendship with her and I hope for your sake that it is just friendship and nothing more."

"Let me ease your fears, sir. Jaya is more of a sister than a love interest. You do not have to worry about my getting in the way of your relationship with her." Arnav says with obvious displeasure. 

I smirk in my best mimicry of what an egotistical Indian prince would do. "I take it she has already told you about my marriage proposal, then? And what did she have to say about it."

Arnav pauses thoughtfully. He knows telling the prince the truth will only offend him and at the same time, he is not very good at lying. "Jaya is having mixed feelings, " he begins carefully. "While she is honoured by your offer to wed her, she feels it is too soon especially since she knows so little about you."

I nod thoughtfully. "She is right. I have to get to know her if I am going to spend the rest of my life with her. Thank you for all your help, Arnav. I hope you find the right woman for you."

This is the part where Fabian is supposed to get up and leave. But seeing as we are surrounded by fields enveloped in the darkness I choose to remain still and instead wait. 

Abe looks at me cryptically. "Funny, the only girl I want is the one you are trying to espouse." 

Fabian was not on the scene when Arnav said that last line so when I reply to his statement, it as Wilder Sanchez and not the son of an Indian chief. "Maybe you should change your target."

Abe stares at the dark overhead with a wild childlike gaze. "Maybe." 

For a moment, we are both quiet, pondering our thoughts and starting in the sky. This is the only part of the city where we can see the stars clearly. They are beautiful. They fill the sky like grains of white rice scattered on freshly turned dirt. The night sky is such a welcome sight, appearing like magic at each sunset, promising to return as it fades in dawn's first light. 

"What are you thinking about?" Abe asks randomly. 

I answer without thinking, blurring out the word, "home."

"Home is where your heart is, " he says wistfully. Maybe thinking about that pretty girl he smiled at during the auditions. I still haven't asked him about her. And other than that one time, I haven't seen him with her again. So maybe, it's all in my head. 

"Well, right now my heart is in my chest, locked tightly against the world. So, I guess, I'm home. Right here."

"With me?" Abe asks, not looking at me. I'm not looking at him either. We are sitting right next to each other, in the darkness of the countryside, with only a few inches between us. And yet, we are not looking at each other, not touching but we are connected because we are both staring at the same lovely night sky. 

"Huh, " I say, the thought suddenly occurring to me. "I guess you're right."

Abe looks at me from the corner of his eye. The blues are brighter in the darkness that surrounds us.

"I am right."

Abe offers to drive me home. I give him the wrong address, but one that is only two blocks away from my apartment building so I will not have to walk much. We are silent during the drive, both equally lost in thought and wonder.

I'm thinking about Abe. The guy who is too embarrassed to admit his weakness because he thinks everyone expects him to be perfect. Up until today, I never realised people like Abe had problems.

And before meeting Josh, I thought I was the only one with mental issues. But now I am beginning to understand a lot of thing about life.

Everyone has problems. No two people face the same trouble. But the trick is in how to handle those hardships.

Josh handles his problems by putting on a smirk and flirting with everyone that has a p***y between their legs. Abe deals with his struggles by being 'perfect'. He tries to please everybody but in doing so, he ends up losing himself. 

And me? I deal with my problems by getting high. Which is what I do as soon as I enter my apartment. I still have some leftover Oxy from my last theft of Mr Goldberg's mail so I crush the pills and mix it with my Xanax and Ambien. I sniff the powder and open a pack of beer.

It's not long before I'm blasting loud rock and roll music in the apartment and drinking my ass off. It's not a Friday night and tomorrow I have school so I know I am going to regret this decision to get high. But I need it. I need to feel happiness, if only chemical-induced and temporary. I swallow four ecstasy pills and wash it down with more lager. 

I can't seem to hear the music anymore, but I have out the volume to the max. Staggering from the floor where I lay passed out in my living room, I make my way to my potter workplace and grab a big ball of polymer clay. I place it in the middle of the table and begin modelling. 

At first, I don't know what I'm doing. I'm simply following my fingers, letting them knead the clay, press into it at certain points, create hollows and crevices and protrusions. It goes on like that for the next six hours. I crash from my high and fatigue attacks my body. But I don't stop. Because once I start, I can't stop. My hands, heart and mind are wholeheartedly involved in the craft. I don't stop till my hands scream for me to stop. My back, neck and hands are aching. 

But when I take off my blindfold which I did not even realise I had put on in the first place I am enthralled by what I see. 

It's a head statue. That's all I can tell for now.

I don't know whose it is yet, but I'm sure I'll find out sometime this week when I have made more progress.

Right now, I don't even know the gender of the person whose face I am sculpting. As much as I would love to continue, I have to go to school now.

Dragging my body to the bathroom, I peel my clothes off and enter the bathroom. I nearly gal asleep under the shower and it is only when the water temperature shift from hot to cold that I jolt awake and end up hitting my head against the showerhead. I curse in pain, grumbling more curses as I blindly reach for a towel amidst all the steam and wrap it around my body become coming out. 

It takes me almost an hour and a half to get to school. And that's only because I spent half an hour at Starbucks trying to get my daily caffeine jolt and another half trying and failing to get a cab before giving up and walking to the school. 

Needless to say, I am more than a little pissed when I slam my locker door open to retrieve my history class books from it. But it seems the universe isn't done torturing me because just when I'm about to head to Mr Beier's class-

"What were you doing with, Abe?" A snide, bratty voice sneers behind me. I inhale sharply, surprised it has taken this long for the cliche confrontation to happen. It has taken the whole school quite some time to figure out that I have been spending an average of seven days a week with Abe. Not that it should matter to them.

Turning around, my eyes narrowed as I meet the gaze of Christine's- the most popular girl in our school. Abe has made it clear to the whole school that he won't ever be dating anyone. Yet Christine claims to have an on and off relationship with him though it is more in her dreams than reality.

"What?" I snap, annoyed by her question.

She huffs in frustration, dramatizing the situation to seem like I'm acting stupid (which I am). "What were you doing with Abraham?" She repeats. "You know he's not yours."

I scoff at her tone. "I didn't realise Abe was property for sale," I smile cheekily. "Because last I checked, he's not yours either."

Her eyes narrow at me and she takes a step forward threateningly. "You are not important enough to talk to him, stoner," she hisses, adding so much venom to the label that for a moment I am taken aback by her blatant unfriendliness.

I laugh forcefully. "Okay, sure. I'm not important. Is that all? I really have to go now."

She glares at me. "Why were you with him?" She snarls.

"Why don't you just go ask him yourself?" I spit back. "If you know him half as well as you claim to, I'm sure he would loooove to tell you the details of our times spent together."

Stumbling on her words, she glares at me as she shakes her head irritably. "Times? As in more than one?" She finally manages to blurt out but it comes in a hollow voice.

"Is that a hint of disappointment I hear in your voice, Corinna?" I hiss.

"Of course not. And my name is Christine dumb-dumb," she jeers. "You're just lying so I'll be jealous of you but I have no reason to. Abe is my boyfriend so I don't care what you say."

I roll my eyes. "Your boyfriend? In which universe?"

Her eyes widen as anger seeps out of every inch of her designer-clad hourglass figure.

"You don't have to worry anyway," I continue. "Abe and I have nothing between us. He's an altruist," I chuckle wryly and look back up at her. "I heard opposites attract. I guess you two would match perfectly."

Spinning on my heel, I walk away quickly, releasing a breath of relief that I have removed myself from that tension-filled conversation.

I can still feel the stares from most of the people still in the hallway and it's really starting to bug me. Halting in my footsteps, I turn around to face them.

They don't even try to hide the fact that they have been caught staring. They are openly gawping.

And I hate it.

"Listen up everyone," I bark. Seeing as they are already ogling it is easy to catch their attention. A few people pull their phones put to record this. I don't even care I just want to get my thoughts off my chest. "Why don't y'all just go back to living the lives you lived before you knew I existed. Stop staring, you cannot afford me!"

Without waiting for a response, I storm away.