27KendraAfter I told my mom I would stay, I couldn’t stay there, sitting there, talking to her. I felt like she was judging me, even if she wasn’t, and if she started to cry again, I knew I wouldn’t be able to stop myself from crying, too. Right now, I didn’t need that. I needed to be strong. I needed to keep it together. No matter what, I couldn’t give in to fear.
So I went into my bedroom. Just seeing my bed and bureau and my clothes made me feel like I was a failure. Here I was, without a job, taking money from a mob boss who had impregnated me, living back at home. Yes, I could help take care of my mom again, but really what did I have to show for my life? I was knocked up, and while I did want the baby, I was hardly role model material for him or her.
My lungs ached, and I couldn’t
