Maybe, Baby

Sixteen

I'm trapped at school. The weather agrees with my mood. Ever since that little thing between us, the dark clouds seem to have gathered over my head, and now it rains nonstop.

I'm evaluating my options here. I could efficiently run down the bus station or call a cab and wait by the doorway until it arrived. I could easily afford it to Lin's place and even the house, but he might be there. I had been successful for the past few weeks to avoid him, or he had made it more accessible. His constant trips abroad were now back on schedule. My tasks had been minimized. The excuse was a new assistant, replaced by someone named after a fruit. I hated her.

On the other hand, I was named after a twelve-year-old too advanced for her age who enjoyed outings with much older men. Now that I think about it is nothing far from the reality, well at least I'm nineteen going to twenty, and my older man, someone who was not interested in me, not in the slightest.

He's not yours, Dolores, remember that.

I'm in a constant battle with the voices in my head. They keep telling me that I have to turn my head towards someone else, but my heart doesn't want to hear. My stubborn little muscle doesn't want to comply. I tire myself before getting home late. I study like crazy and then some more until I keep my eyes open, I'm over my limit, and I'm drunk with sleep.

I forgot about Lin. She hasn't been very friendly lately. Her boyfriend drama has been escalating so quickly that I have stayed away from her. A phone call or text to know she is alive and well, but as soon as she starts talking about what Patrick did the other day, I look for new excuses to hang up. I need to find new ones, and she has caught me on several times. There's a little traffic, but I make it just in time when the rain starts falling harder. My tiny umbrella is useless since I have to open the gate and close it behind me. In just a second, I'm completely wet from head to toe. I step over puddles of water, feeling the water running around my toes inside my tennis shoes, and I stroll to the back. There's no point in also walking over the clean floors with muddy shoes.

"Honey, I'm home," I murmur low as I kick off my wet converse and watch them bounce on the floor, leaving wet marks over the wooden floor. My hair was dripping, and my clothes stuck to my skin. The suctioning sound, whenever I tried to pull it away from me, was funny. I jump right away into my shower, hot water calms the trembling lip, and I walk out to a steamed bathroom and condensed mirror. It was only five in the afternoon, but with the sky closing up, it was late, day turning into night.

I changed into long sweatpants and a shirt. I looked like I was ready for bed, but as the days passed, the air turned more fabulous, and soon we would be in autumn. No longer was I going to be able to wear shorts, and in just a couple of days, my tan would be gone. I would turn into the pasty-looking child I was while growing up.

The loud sound of vibration on my night table caught my attention. The screen said Westbrook Inc., so I quickly picked up.

"Hello?"

"Hi, yes this is Sherry Sparks."

Oh goody, the devil itself.

"Hi," I said, trying not to sound like I hated her.

"Yes, hi. I'm calling to let you know that Joshua, Mr. Westbrook driver," I knew who Joshua was but I didn't stop her, "is going to drive by to pick up some documents he left behind. I emailed you the list earlier and he left almost ten minutes ago so he should be there soon."

"I can fax them." I always did. I always sent him what he needed. However, later nothing came unless it was something about the house or delivery at his home. Things he was expecting, and it was usually Sandra and never him or Sherry.

"There's no need, he arrived two hours ago and wants them now."

Did he arrive? Why wasn't I notified? They always told me when he was back, well they did until recently. Something changed. Maybe the fiasco from the trip had made him think twice before letting me handle anything.

"Hello? Are you there?"

"Yes."

"I asked you a question."

"What?"

"Never mind, just make sure to have everything on the list." And hanged up. I hated how she talked to me like I was beneath her. She treated me like a child-like. I hadn't handled papers and essential phone calls like I had no idea how to work with someone like him.

The documents were all in a pile, so they were easy to find. I even added a post-it of all of them in order on top in my neatest handwriting. Like always, Joshua was all smiles when he saw me. I felt a pang of pain. I would have been the one taking them to him in other circumstances, but now I only serve for things like this.

"It's been a while since I saw you." He said, taking me out of my head.

"Yes."

"Is everything alright?" My face must have given me away.

"Yep. I just got a little bit wet before," I shrugged. "Rain caught me coming from school."

"Its been raining like crazy. Call me if you need me to pick you up, we can't let you get sick."

"I will." I lied. And who were we anyway? He didn't care. He never did, I thought bitterly. I was replaced by someone else. Soon he wouldn't even remember my name. I forced myself not to cry. He didn't deserve my tears.

I shouldn't be holding down to the hope of us. It wasn't brilliant of me even to think so. Whatever happen will happen, there was no way I was going to stop it.