Maybe forever

Whoever he wants to kiss

*Amelia*

I want nothing more than to run away as Jasper presses the doorbell at Cory’s house, but his grip on my arm is unyielding. “Please don’t make me do this,” I think desperately, feeling my heart race with anxiety.

“Hi Ami, hi Jasper! Come on in, you’re the first ones here!” Cory greets us with a warm smile as he swings the door open.

“Hi Cory, and thanks for having us!” Jasper replies, pulling Cory into a brief hug before stepping inside. I stand frozen for a moment, my thoughts swirling in a storm of fear and longing. I can’t meet his eyes; I’m afraid if I do, I’ll break down right here. But then he pulls me into his arms, and for that fleeting second, it feels like he’s holding together the gaping hole in my chest.

I step into the house in front of him, my voice barely above a whisper. “You have a beautiful home, very cozy.” The words fall from my lips, but they feel hollow against the weight of my emotions.

“Thank you, but tell me what’s wrong, darling, because you are not yourself at all,” he says, concern etched across his face. His eyes hold a depth of worry that makes my heart clench.

I shake my head, refusing to let him see the pain that’s gnawing at me. “Nothing is wrong; I just have a bit of a headache,” I say, forcing the words out despite the truth bubbling just beneath the surface.

“Is there something I can do? Do you want some painkillers? A glass of water? Anything?” His hand gently cups my cheek, and I shy away from his touch, the warmth of his palm igniting to many feelings within me.

“I’m fine,” I insist, brushing past him and hastily making my way to the kitchen, where Jasper starts talking to Cory. I can’t let him see me break.

“So, Cory, who else is coming today?” Jasper asks, and I want to kick him for bringing this up, knowing exactly what he’s really asking.

Cory opens the fridge and starts pulling things out. “Joel is coming with his girlfriend Ally, and my sister Shekinah, her husband, and their baby boy Griffin, along with my dad,” he lists off casually.

“So that girlfriend of yours isn’t coming?” Jasper probes, and I can feel the tension in the air. I slip out through the back door into the garden, desperate for fresh air. Why can’t he just shut up?

Minutes later, I hear the door creak open behind me. “Ami?” Cory’s voice cuts through the silence.

“What is it, Cory? I just needed a bit of fresh air. I think it’s good you’ve found someone; I’m happy for you,” I reply, keeping my back turned, fighting to regain control of my emotions.

He places a hand on my shoulder, his voice turning serious. “Ami, I need to explain something about those pictures.”

“You don’t need to explain, Cory. We’re just friends, and I’m happy for you,” I bite my lip, wishing he would just walk away and let me wallow in my own heartache.

“Yeah, you already said that. How many times do you think you need to repeat it to believe it yourself?” he asks, frustration creeping into his tone.

I close my eyes, panic rising. Did Jasper tell him anything? “Cory, I really mean it; I just have a bad headache. Could you please give me a moment?”

“No can do, but maybe you could actually listen to me for just a minute and please look at me, Ami.” He turns me to face him, and I can’t avoid his gaze any longer.

I stare at his feet, trying to conceal the tears that threaten to spill. But he gently grabs my chin, lifting my face to meet his eyes. “What is it, Cory?”

“Darling, those pictures are more than a month old. I went on two dates with her because everyone kept telling me I needed to move on. Yes, she kissed me, and I went for it, hoping it would help, that it would change something, but all I could think about was that she wasn’t you.” His voice is raw, and it sends a shiver through me.

I blink, trying to grasp his words. “But… but the magazine was brand new.”

“I don’t know why the pictures haven’t shown up before now, maybe because the show is coming out, but believe me, it was nothing. I drove her home right after those pictures were taken and told her I couldn’t see her again,” he insists, searching my eyes for understanding.

I feel dizzy and confused. “Cory, you can kiss whoever you want to.”

“Exactly who I want to? And you wouldn’t get mad at all?” He locks his eyes with mine, a hint of a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth, and I can’t help but feel that flutter of hope mixed with disbelief.

“Yes, of course! Why should I have any say about who you can kiss?” I respond, but it sounds hollow, even to my own ears. The truth is, every word feels like a contradiction, my heart screaming something entirely different.

“Maybe because you’re the only one I want to kiss.” His voice drops to a whisper, and before I can process what he’s saying, he pulls me into his arms, wrapping me in warmth and safety. His lips find mine, and in that instant, the aching void inside me closes, the weight lifting from my chest, allowing me to breathe freely for the first time in more than six months.

I melt into him, my hands instinctively wrapping around his neck, and it’s as if the world around us fades away. The garden, the chatter of people, the memories of heartache… all of it dissolves until it’s just him and me.