Secret obsession

CHAPTER 6

The alarm clock does not stop ringing. I guess it's me the one that should turn it off. I don’t want to wake up. It's Monday and I want to stay home. I don’t know why I couldn’t sleep last night… now that I think about it, Henry just threw a bomb at me yesterday and told me goodnight. I want to know what he was talking about, confessing? To whom? Was he talking about me? I am very curious, but I guess I am also too coward. I want to know if Henry is going to confess to someone, but I guess I’m afraid to find out that he has someone else he likes. It would be heartbreaking if I found out that I’m not the one he is talking about. My mom starts knocking on the door because I haven’t completely woken up yet.

“Erin is getting late!” she says, knocking constantly to make sure I’m awake.

"I’m coming mom!” I answer with my lazy voice.

I got downstairs and, after a brief breakfast, I’m ready to go. My mom always takes me to school. I think she wants to make sure I don’t skip any classes, but she has no problem letting me walk back home. Every time I go to school, some of my friends (Kim or Jake) wait for me at the entrance, and we stay together waiting for the other one of us. For today Kim is at the door; she waves at me frenetically when she sees me. I say goodbye to my mom and walk towards Kim.

“Hi girl, ready for another week?” she asks with so much enthusiasm. I make a grumpy moan, obviously I’m not a morning person. “I can’t believe Jake is so late, classes are about to start, and I don’t see him anywhere… are you too looking for him?” she asks me while looking impatiently to everyone and everywhere.

“I- hu… yes, of course I’m looking for Jake” I lie, actually I’m looking for Henry, see if maybe I can spend some time with him today. While I am still looking, I didn’t notice that Jake was with Kim already.

“Erin!” Kim shouts at me to notice that they are both together now. I see Jake, and he looks at me with awkwardness in his eyes. “Didn’t you notice when he was walking towards us?” Kim stares at me with her suspicious look, then she smiles mysteriously, “or… are you looking for your Prince Henry?” she adds, laughing while hugging Jake, who is now gazing at me with cold eyes.

“No! I didn’t notice Jake coming. I guess I haven’t woken up completely yet” I chuckle, avoiding Jake’s eyes.

“Is it true Erin? Are you waiting for that jerk?” Jake finally asks, failing to hide his anger.

“I said no! I just didn’t see you coming”, I answer getting uncomfortable with his attitude.

“What’s the matter baby? Is something wrong?” Kim asks him, playing with his ear. “If Erin likes Henry, I guess she will be careful not to get hurt, right?” she nods looking at me. “Plus, we are her friends, and we support her in her decisions. Isn’t that right baby?” she looks at him, waiting for an answer.

“Let's just go inside” Jake says, pulling Kim close to him and getting inside before me.

Half of the day passed by, and now it's lunch break. I go to the cafeteria still looking at everyone at school to see if I could see Henry between one of the faces of the other students. I am thinking of sending him a text, but I get nervous every time I think about his last message. Maybe if he really likes me he will look for me instead, so I want to be visible just in case he cannot find me. Thinking and looking everywhere, I pass by my friend's table.

“Erin!” Kim shouts at me. I turn around and I see her waving again, “Seriously girl, what is wrong with you today? You are very distracted” she scolds me while pulling me next to her.

“What’s up, cruel minion?” Jake says. It looks like he is in a better mood now.

“Hi Jackie… still crazy?” I ask sarcastically to see if he is indeed in a better mood. He chuckles, giving me his flan, which he knows I love.

I am finishing my lunch and getting tired of school already while my friends are sucking each other’s faces. I keep looking at my cellphone from time to time to see if I had any messages from Henry. I guess I looked at it so obviously that Kim started asking me questions again.

“Are you waiting for a message from your Prince Henry?” she laughs mockingly, without realizing that her comment may cause an effect on Jake’s mood again.

“Really? So now is ‘Prince’ Henry?” Jake asks annoyed, looking at me seriously and tensing his muscles. I haven’t seen him acting this way. I just hope Kim doesn’t notice.

“Of course, he is her ‘prince’. Our friend is a pretty princess, and she deserves a prince, don’t you think baby?” Kim answers Jake with her sincere comment and a warm smile.

“Yes, you are right, she deserves the best”, Jakes says while lowering his face, and I sense a bit of sadness in his comment.

“By the way, baby, Henry will join us this Friday. It will be fun, don’t you think?” Kim dances a little bit in her chair after saying that.

Jake looks at me surprised and angry at the same time, then he abruptly stands up, making both of us girls look up at him.

“Fine!” Jake says. “Let's go to class” he pulls Kim from her wrist to walk away from the table.

“Baby! Wait!” Kim shouts at Jake, who is dragging her across the cafeteria. “You are hurting me!” Kim pulls her wrist out of Jake’s hand, Jake stops to look at her scared. It looks like he didn’t know he was being rude. “What the hell is wrong with you?” Kim shouts angry and later walks away from him; Jake looks at her with a guilty face, he runs his hands through his hair and starts following Kim.

“What was that?” I just say to myself. I look around the cafeteria, noticing how everyone was talking about that, then I see Henry by the door that connects with the gym. He was just standing there with no expression looking everywhere when suddenly our eyes met each other. I smile at him, thinking that maybe he is going to smile back, but he just sights and turns around, ignoring me. “Why?”

The last class was over, and I was walking towards my locker to get my stuff when I noticed some people arguing in the hallway. There were already some other students gathering to see the two students screaming. I approached slowly, and I ask my friend Gina who was there before me.

“What is going on?” I say touching her shoulder to get her attention.

“Well for what I heard, Kim and Jake are breaking up” she says, looking at me weird that I didn’t know already.

“What?!” I shout surprised. “That can’t be true!” I say holding my books in my arms, walking through the crowd until I have Kim and Jake in front of me.

“You are such a jerk Jake!” Kim shouts. “I was trying to be patient, but you never reacted this way before!” she says, grabbing her wrist.

“I have been apologizing the whole day, what more do you want?” Jake claims, trying to hold his temper and failing at the same time.

“You apologized, but you didn’t mean it Jake! I know you and I know you very well! Something else is going on, and you don’t want to tell me!” she shouts back more hysterically.

“Well then maybe you don’t know me at all…” Jake drops his arms to his legs like giving up.

“What the hell is going on guys?” I ask, getting in the middle of them to interrupt their fight “fighting? In the hallway? In front of everyone? Isn’t that too much?” I ask, disapproving their act. “Why are you two fighting about in the first place?” I look at Jake first, but he never looks at me.

“Well Erin”, Kim says with her angry tone. “Tell me if this looks too much for you to be fighting about?” she puts her wrist dramatically in front of me, too close to my eyes, and then I see it.

“Bruises?!... you left bruises on her wrist?!” I turn to Jake in shock and disappointment. He is staring at the floor looking embarrassed. “How is this possible Jake” I ask getting close to him, but he avoids me.

“Is there something going on here?” Principal Banks asks, opening his way through the crowd and getting close to us. Kim covers her wrist, embarrassed, while Jake squeezes his eyes painfully.

“Is nothing Principal Banks”, I say, stepping up for them. “My friends and I were arguing about some plans we missed this past weekend and got carried away that’s all”. I try to look convincing while the Principal makes a quick scan at the three of us.

“Well, it is time to go, grab your stuff and deal with this at home”, he raises his voice, giving a quick glance at all the students this time.

“Sure thing” I say grabbing my friends to run out of school.

We walk in silence a few blocks away from school until I decided it was enough to have a conversation with both without letting anyone else listen to what we were about to discuss. I release them both, and I stand there without facing them for a moment while I put my thoughts in order, then I turn around to start fixing this relationship.

“I’m sorry muffin” Jake starts talking before me when I turned around. “I swear I didn’t notice how hard I was holding you” he is trying to get close to Kim cautiously. “You know I never hurt you, right?” I know my friend Jake for a lot of years now, I know he has his temper, but he never hurt me or Kim before, I know he is really sorry for what he did.

“I thought you’ll never hurt me, Jake,” Kim says with tears in her eyes. “But I also thought I knew you, but this isn’t you!” she claims, trying to hold back her tears harder. “If you don’t give me a good reason why you acted this way today I will never, never even try to forgive you” she finally turns around and runs away crying.

“Kim!” Jake calls her, walking a few steps and then stops. I thought he was going to follow her, but instead he stands there where he is, running his hands through his hair. “What am I gonna do Erin?” he asks me with his voice breaking “I never wanted to hurt Kim, I never really wanted to go this far” he is looking at the sky breathing deeply trying to fix whatever is in his mind.

“I just want to ask you something Jake” I walk in front of him. “Why did you do it? You are not like that.”

Jake sighs. “You think I did that on purpose?” he keeps looking at the sky. “I lost control Erin, I got very angry and not even with her, I got angry at…” he looks me in the eyes and his desperation vanishes. He looks so sad now. “I was angry at myself… so angry that I forgot I was holding Kim’s wrist until she pulled it out of my hand.”

I see tears in his eyes too, and he is breathing painfully. “Why were you mad at you Jake? What happened?”

He looks down, avoiding my eyes. “Because I’m a coward Erin. For many years I have been a coward, and I’m tired of it”. He looks at the sky again and rubs his eyes with his hands, then he looks at me, giving me his sad smile, just like the one he gave me the night of their anniversary. “I will fix this, cruel princess, don’t worry” he says, petting my head to walk away from me.

That was really intense. I am still looking at my friend walking away towards school to get his car. Kim lives two houses next to the school, but Jake convinced his parents that she needs a ride every day and, as her boyfriend, he wanted to be charming and polite in her parents’ eyes, so they bought him a car. I follow him behind, keeping my distance when he stops.

“I will take you home pumpkin” he says without turning to see me.

We get into his car, and before he starts the engine, I say “Drop me at Kim’s, I want to know how she is.”

He does not reply nor makes any comment. We park at Kim’s house; I take my phone out of my pocket and call Kim. The phone beeps and beeps, until it sends me to voicemail. I try to call again, and her phone sends me to voicemail immediately. I sigh and look at Kim’s window. I know she is looking outside.

“I’m gonna take you home”, Jake says, starting the car again and driving me home. Once we are outside my house, Jake turns off the engine and we both stay quiet for a moment. “I’m going to fix this Erin, I promise, I love Kim and I never wanted to hurt her. You believe me, right?” he’s staring at me, waiting for my answer.

“I believe you’ll fix this Jake” I say while grabbing my stuff and getting out of his car. I was about to walk towards my house, but I stop to say something else to my friend. “I believe you Jake, so go home and we’ll talk tomorrow” I wave at him and start walking to my house's front door.

I enter my house and do the ritual of all the week. I say hello to my family, go upstairs to get change and to do my homework while I wait for dinner to be ready, then go down to help my mom setting the table to have our ‘family time’ where everyone is supposed to share something from their day.

After dinner, Lisa and I start to clean the kitchen as always and I just wanted to go to my room and think about how awful day today was. It is still early, and I am starting to advance with some homework, so I can have the weekend available to go to dance with my friends and Henry… but then I remember, I don’t know what will happen to my friends, and Henry just ignored me today. I keep thinking about that last thought. Maybe he realizes how boring I am. Maybe I’m not the easy type he thought I would be, maybe I was opening my heart too fast and that’s why I feel so disappointed. I start judging myself for everything, but more of it is because I really like Henry and I thought I wasn’t supposed to fall in love until I was more mature, which is even worse. I feel sad. I let myself fall on my bed thinking about how to stop my heart from liking Henry. When my cellphone beeps, I stand up to reach it from my desk and then another beep sounds, two messages again.

‘Hey beautiful, are you busy? – The Most Handsome’

‘If you’re not, I’m outside… do you want to come out? – The Most Handsome’

Oh my God! And my heart started to shake again.