Secret obsession

CHAPTER 19

Today at school I see Kim waiting for me at the door. I give her a wide smile, since last Friday when we talked, everything was different for me, my friends are very important and knowing I can count on her made my weekend better, even with all the weirds messages from Henry.

“Good morning girl!” Kim says while I approach to her.

“Hi Kim” I stand in front of her looking everywhere, maybe we have to wait for Jake.

“We are not gonna wait for Jake” she says reading my mind “Let’s go to class.”

At school everything was better, I still avoid staying too much time in the hallway, so I don’t see Henry, and from time to time I check my messages to see what he texts me. I really want to answer but I’m not so sure yet. At lunch Kim went to get me so we can have lunch together, I haven’t seen Jake and I don’t know if he is gonna be there with us. I get my doubts clear when I see Jake sitting at our table waiving at us, Kim seems relaxed so I guess this will be fine.

We sit at the table with Jake, him and Kim kiss normally, I sit next to Kim happy that this is like the old days.

“Hello minion! What a nice surprise to have you with us today” Jake says to me smiling and hugging Kim at the same time, Kim smiles too and that makes me feel happy as well. If things with Henry could be better, we can even have a double date, of course I know that cannot be possible yet.

“Hi Jakey! How are you?”

“Couldn’t be better Luciferin” he says and gives me his flan. I just smile at both taking it.

I enjoy having lunch with my friends again, we laugh a lot at Jake’s jokes and stories, from time to time they kiss and this time instead of getting annoyed I’m happy for them, they both deserve to be happy together. We avoid the Henry topic and actually I still don’t feel comfortable to talk about that in front of Jake, I don’t want him to start a scene again, I know he tried to open my eyes and actually at some point I was mad at him but now I think that if it wasn’t for him, I wouldn’t know about Henry’s past.

Kim is in the middle of the story about what they did during the weekend when my phone buzzes, I try to check what the text says with discretion, is Henry again. All this time with his messages I felt like he was never too far from me, even when we don’t have something established, he has been trying to be close to me. I gave a quick look to the text and I read the next:

“I’m glad to see you smiling again, I wish I can be the one that makes you smile” – Fake Prince.

This time I don’t look for him, I know he is close and just knowing that is enough for me. Kim finished her conversation just on time when the bell rings. They stand up holding hands like usual and go to Kim’s class, like usual. Everything about them makes me smile.

I walk to my class thinking that maybe everything can be ‘back to normal.' While daydreaming about it I see Henry standing next to the door or my classroom, He is staring at his shoes, both hands in his pockets, left shoulder leaning on the wall, and it seems like he is thinking about something really deep. When he notices I am getting close to him he gives me his half smile that made me fell in love with him at the beginning.

“Hi Erin” he says friendly, standing in front of me. I guess is time to have a conversation with him, after all this time and all the new information I feel more comfortable to face him.

“Hi Henry.”

He doesn’t look as confident as how he was when I met him, he looks very nervous and sad.

“I was wondering if we can talk… I, um… I know you might think there is nothing more to talk about, but the truth is that… I think you need to listen what I have to say.” He keeps eye contact with me while saying that. I guess he wants to talk about his ex-girlfriend, he doesn’t know I already know about her.

“Sure, I think I can make some time to listen to what you have to say” I say after I sigh faking indifference.

“Great!” he sounds happy. “Maybe after school since Mrs. Pertle is coming now.”

“Class will star now Erin, everybody inside” Mrs. Pertle says waiting for me to walk in, I just look at Henry and waive, after all I agreed to talk to him after school.

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School is now over, and I cannot wait to go out, I am very curious to know what Henry has to say to me. Also, I still miss him, so having a conversation with him could charge my desire to be with him. I am outside school, and I see him waiting for me on the sidewalk alone. He seems impatient until he sees me. Maybe I’m still in love because I see a sparkle in his eyes that makes me believe he is happy to see me.

“Hi” I say when I’m in front of him. He tilts his head and smiles wide; I try to look indifferent, showing that his reaction does not cause any effect on me anymore. “If the idea of talking to me afterschool was a lie so you can laugh at me…”

“No…” he interrupts me before I start to get all exalted. “I really want to talk to you, is just that… when you said ‘Hi’ to me, you made me smile.”

I don’t know how to answer to that, I want to be with him, and I want to make things work with him. He suddenly remembers something and looks to everyone walking outside school, then he returns his eyes to me.

“Maybe we can talk in a private place… I can take you home, what do you say?”

I nod, thinking that it may be the best idea to avoid everyone, after all, the whole school knows what happened and I’m pretty sure that they will start gossips about me talking to Henry again.

We cross the street and as a reflex, I look back. In the parking lot I see Jake next to his car looking at me with tense muscles, Kim is already inside ready to be taken home. I ignore them, and keep walking with Henry hopping this does not bring new problems with my friends, we just started talking again, and seeing Jake like that makes me think that maybe he hasn’t change, or maybe he is trying. I avoid thinking about my friends, right now I need to focus my energy on being prepare to whatever Henry has to say, but God! I hope is something good.

We have been walking for some time now, and there is only half a block to get to my house, we haven’t talk, we’ve been walking in silence. His funny attitude is not present right now, at a glance, I can see that he is thinking, I’m not sure about what, but maybe he is thinking about what to say once we arrive to my house. I know I will discover the answer now that we are the entrance, where I abruptly stop, looking at him serious waiting for him to start talking, he looks at me surprised.

“I thought we were supposed to walk more time…” he says like apologizing for being quiet.

“So?” I decide to push him an end with this right now; he chuckles looking awkward.

“Seems like you have a new attitude, you know that?” he asks, while walking on the yard, going to the space down my balcony.

“I thought you wanted to talk” I say following him.

“I want to be comfortable before that,” and he sits on the grass looking at the sky.

“What are you doing?”

“Looking at the sky, and the clouds… do you believe in angels?”

I feel a touch of mercy, and agree to sit next to him. I guess he decided to talk about Laura, and his true feelings.

“I do believe in angels… maybe not in the way everybody does.”

“What do you mean?” he looks at me curious.

“Well… I think that an angel is someone that protects you and helps you decide the best option in everything you do… but I don’t think angels are specifically the spiritual beings, I think you can see angels in friends, family, or even pets,” I say, getting shy somehow, maybe my answer was not the best to the situation, but he chuckles and smiles friendly.

“I get what you are saying… my three boys at home, I mean, my dogs, they are my angels and have been helping me through very rough times… although…” he looks to the sky again, pausing to continue. “I also like the idea of spiritual angels.”

“I guess there are two types of angels, the earthly ones and the spiritual ones.” I say without thinking, trying to keep with the conversation.

We look at each other in silence for a moment, almost like thinking what to say next when my phone starts buzzing, making me jump. We both laugh a little bit, and I take out my phone to see who is calling. I see Kim’s name on the screen. I put the phone back in the pocket without answering ‘I’m sure she will understand when I call her later’ I think to myself.

“The school went a little bit crazy the past days don’t you think?” he starts a new conversation.

“I don’t know what you are talking about” I lie.

“C’mon Erin, even I know what everybody has been saying about me.”

“Maybe you did a good work creating your bad reputation” I say sarcastically.

“Maybe, or maybe I never wanted to stop the false rumors about me… sometimes it is better if you keep people away from you.”

“What do you mean? Why would you want to keep people away from you?” I ask, pushing him to speak more.

“Because if you keep people away, you are less likely to suffer, don’t you think?”

“But what happens when YOU are the one who makes others suffer?” my sad tone is hardly covered after asking that. Suddenly the conversation turns serious.

“Did I make you suffer Erin?” he asks, getting close to me, looking at my mouth from time to time. I feel a strong desire to kiss him, and make him say that he wants to be with me.

Our faces are very close, and I can feel his irregular breathing, I bet mine is irregular as well. My heart is running so fast that I hate my cellphone for making me jump again, ending with our moment. Henry chuckles, looking away from me rubbing his neck.

I look at the screen of my phone and I see a lot of text messages, as well as another call from Kim. Most of the messages say ‘SOS’ and I remember she was with Jake, so I decide to take the incoming call to see what happened. What if they had an accident or something? Henry looks at me worried for my expression.

“Kim?” I say when I answer the phone, I just listen to my friend crying, which scares me more “Kim what is going on? Are you alright?”

“Erin!” she can’t even talk.

“What happened? Where are you?” I ask scared, standing up, walking to the street again. Henry follows me close.

“I’m at home” she finally says, “but everything is over now Erin.”

“What do you mean?... Calm down and tell me what happened” I say, trying to make her stop crying.

“Jake broke up with me!”