THIS TIME I CHOOSE ME

Chapter Three- SIX DAYS

I barely slept that night.

Every time I closed my eyes, I was back in the forest.

I could still feel the cold ground beneath my body. I could still hear my mother's voice. I could still see Lyra standing beside Aren as if I had never meant anything to either of them.

Then there was the pact.

That was the part I couldn't stop thinking about.

The mate bond hadn't activated yet. I had six days before my eighteenth birthday and the ceremony that would bring Aren and me together.

Six days.

But even if I somehow avoided Aren until then, what would happen afterward?

The pact would still exist.

That was the problem.

In my first life, Aren and I hadn't been free to simply walk away from each other. The pact had bound us together so deeply that breaking it could cost one of us our life.

If I wanted a different future, I needed to understand it.

Maybe there was a way to break it.

Maybe there wasn't.

But I couldn't sit around and hope.

I needed answers.

And there was only one place I could think of where I might find them.

My father's library.

I got out of bed before sunrise and dressed quietly.

The house was still peaceful when I stepped into the hallway.

I made my way downstairs.

My father's library was at the far end of the house. It was a room I had rarely been allowed to enter when I was younger. My father kept old pack records, family histories, laws, and books about the Moon Goddess there.

If anyone in the family had information about ancient pacts, it would be him.

I opened the door.

Dust filled the air.

Nothing had changed.

Rows and rows of books stretched across the walls.

I walked toward the shelves.

"Ancient pacts."

I whispered the words to myself.

I searched by title first.

Then by subject.

Then I started pulling out anything that mentioned the Moon Goddess, mate bonds, sacred agreements, blood oaths, or ancient pack laws.

I carried them to the table.

Soon, a small mountain of books sat in front of me.

I opened the first one.

Nothing.

The second.

Nothing.

The third explained how political pacts between packs worked.

The fourth talked about blood oaths.

The fifth discussed mate bonds.

I kept reading.

Hours passed.

The sun rose higher outside the windows.

I barely noticed.

I was too focused on finding something that could save me.

Then I found a book about sacred bonds.

My heart jumped.

I opened it quickly.

The pages were old and yellow.

I searched for the word breaking.

There was a section about the consequences of breaking a pact.

My excitement disappeared.

It only repeated what I already knew.

A sacred pact could not be broken without consequences.

In some cases, the attempt could result in the death of one of the people bound by it.

There was no ritual.

No loophole.

No instructions.

Nothing.

I turned another page.

Nothing.

Another.

Nothing.

I closed the book.

"No."

I reached for another.

I searched again.

Still nothing.

I moved to another shelf.

Then another.

I checked the oldest books.

The ones covered in so much dust that I had to wipe them with my sleeve before opening them.

Nothing.

Nothing.

Nothing.

By midday, I was exhausted.

I sat at the table surrounded by books and rested my head in my hands.

I had thought this would be easy.

I thought there would be something hidden somewhere.

A forgotten ritual.

An ancient rule.

Anything.

Instead, I had spent hours searching and had found absolutely nothing that could help me.

I closed my eyes.

Maybe I had been stupid.

Maybe the pact really couldn't be broken.

Maybe there was no way to escape what was coming.

A knock sounded at the door.

I looked up.

My mother stood there.

"Alora?"

"I'm fine."

She stepped inside.

Her eyes moved over the books scattered across the table.

"What are you looking for?"

I hesitated.

"Something about pacts."

Her expression changed.

"Why?"

"I just want to understand them."

She walked toward me.

"Does this have something to do with the ceremony?"

I looked down.

"Maybe."

She sat beside me.

"You can tell me anything."

I almost did.

I wanted to.

But how could I tell her that I had already lived this life once?

That I knew how she died?

That I knew exactly what would happen to all of us?

I couldn't.

Not yet.

So I only said,

"I don't want to make the same mistakes."

My mother's eyes softened.

"You don't have to."

I looked at her.

She reached for my hand.

"I know your father can be difficult."

I almost laughed.

Difficult wasn't the word I would have used.

But I didn't correct her.

"He doesn't understand me," I said.

"I know."

"And he always chooses Lyra."

My mother looked away.

That silence told me enough.

She knew.

She had always known.

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

I squeezed her hand.

"You don't have to apologize for him."

She looked at me.

"I wish I could do more."

I knew she meant it.

But love wasn't power in this house.

My father had the authority.

Lyra had his favor.

My mother had very little ability to challenge either of them.

"I know you would if you could."

She hugged me.

I closed my eyes.

For a few seconds, I allowed myself to forget everything.

Then a voice came from outside.

"Lyra!"

My mother released me.

I stood.

That voice.

Aren.

My heart tightened.

He was here,again.

Aren was the prince of another pack, and his visits to our territory were usually formal.

But today, he had come to see Lyra.

I followed my mother out of the library.

When we reached the front hall, I saw him standing with Lyra.

He looked exactly as I remembered.

But this time, I wasn't running toward him.

I stayed where I was.

Lyra saw me first.

Her expression changed.

Then she smiled.

"Alora."

Aren turned.

His eyes landed on me.

For a moment, neither of us spoke.

Then Lyra stepped closer to him.

"I was just telling Aren about the ceremony."

"Good."

I started walking past them.

Lyra suddenly lowered her voice.

"I hope Alora won't be upset that you're here."

I stopped.

I looked at her.

"What?"

She immediately shook her head.

"Nothing."

Aren frowned.

"Why would she be upset?"

Lyra gave a nervous little laugh.

"She just hasn't been herself lately."

I felt something inside me tighten.

There it was.

She was planting the seed.

Making it sound as though I was the problem without actually accusing me of anything.

Aren looked at me.

"Is that true?"

I could have defended myself.

I could have explained.

Instead, I simply said,

"none of your business."

Lyra looked down.

Aren's attention immediately shifted back to her.

"Are you sure you're okay?"

She nodded.

"I'm fine."

I almost smiled.

She had already learned how easy it was to make him protective of her.

I walked away.

I heard my father greeting Aren behind me.

I didn't turn around.

I went back to my room and shut the door.

For a while, I just stood there.

I was angry.

Not because Aren had come to see Lyra.

I knew that would happen eventually.

I was angry because everything was already beginning to repeat itself.

The same little lies.

The same innocent expressions.

The same way Lyra made herself appear vulnerable while I became the difficult one.

But I refused to react the way she wanted.

I wouldn't shout.

I wouldn't beg Aren to believe me.

I wouldn't compete with my sister for his attention.

I had already done that once.

And it had cost me my life.

I sat beside my window.

Six days.

I had searched my father's library and found nothing.

Not one answer.

Not one clue.

I was discouraged.

Of course I was.

But giving up wasn't an option.

If the answer wasn't in my father's books, then I'd search somewhere else.

The pack elders.

The Moon Goddess temple.

The ancient archives.

Anywhere.

I would find something.

Because I wasn't going to let a pact decide the rest of my life.

I had already died once because I trusted fate.

This time, I would make fate work for me.

Six days remained.

And I wasn't done fighting