If you would DIE, would u DIE twice?

If i could let time stop

I wake up,another day in my life had passed and I'm still wondering when am i going to die? I'm sick of living and repeating things over and over again i felt excitement no more. But i suddenly stop when i remember the guy i saw yesterday,isn't it odd that i keep on bumping at him over and over again? Another day in my life a sunny day rather wake up too early and going to school a lil bit early so i decided to walk and to get a fresh air too. As i was walking i am fantasizing about death,where do dead people go? Are they sleeping or are they wondering here in the human realm? My daydreaming was sabotage by the guy whom i keep humping since yesterday "What do u want?" I ask him irritably "Just wanna wake you up little dummy"he hissed "Who the hell are you to call me dummy you jerk!" He stretch his arms towards me and says "Adrian at your service Ms.?" Is he asking for my name? What an old school type of playboy "Ms.Pretty" i said and smirk while i walk away from him while his still reaching out his hand waiting for me to get it and make a simple hand shake with him which is never gonna happened. Well its not like i don't like him,its just that hes been irritating me since i saw him , he has this strange aura that once you sense it you can say hes quite a playboy. And his moves are surely been practiced for such a very long time. Its history class again and its time to daydream bout death again,when you feel like dying you'll begun thinking bout death just like me. After history class our p.e. Teacher called and said that we don't have p.e. today for some reason,my classmates suddenly went into their own ways,some went to cafeteria,the others went to see there friends,and the boys went to play sports while me? I'm gonna head to the library and sleep.Library is a perfect place to sleep wherein no one can talk so you can have a nice cozy sleep. While sleeping i can feel my body diving into my dreams when a cold drink touches my elbow i suddenly shrugged and look at it and then i saw a bottle of ice coffee sitting on my table with a note in it "Have a sip of me ill wake you up" I gaze at the letter and think who gave me this coffee? Well i have no idea but the only thing is the person who gave this to me is a stranger because he doesn't know i cant handle caffeine haha. It will a waste if i throw this out right? So i take a sip and while i was walking out the library i saw the "Adrian"guy again and said "i love that coffee too" i smirk, "oh really?there you go well i cant handle caffeine either just saw this on that table you can have it" and then give him the cup without letting him talk and walk away. Now it wont go as a waste. A week had passed already since the school started and this "Adrian" guy stopped showing in front of me since the coffee incident Well i felt me again but there's a feeling inside me thinking how is he? Why isn't he bothering me again? Its just a week so maybe hes coming up with a plan to ruin my day again. And I'm right today's the 3rd week of the month since the school started and hes back again with another stupid idea of ruining my day. He sometimes gives me almonds (which is my favorite) He sometimes gives me a pillow whenever i sleep inside the library i just woke up and seeing myself sleeping with a pillow that has "Adrian" name in it Its kinda weird that I'm starting to like things hes been doing to me such as walking with me while talking bout random things and etc But suddenly everything stop and change he stopped showing in front of me again, he stopped giving some beverages and i started to see him less often at school. I started to wonder what was the reason? I kinda miss him but i cant tell him cause i don't even know his full name nor his number. A week passed and i still don't see an "Adrian". Today's my fathers birthday and we decided to eat at a diner called "PURPLE BISTRO" It is one pf our families favorite diner here on our province. As i enter i felt this excitement i never felt before, but when we call for the waiter who will take our order my heart sank when i saw Adrian smiling at us with his uniform with a sweaty forehead, i look at him with my mouth wide open with a shock but hes still smiling and assisting my mum on what should we order. After taking our order he gave me quick gaze with a smile and walk away. I started to think questions such as what is he doing here? Is he financially broke? Etc. While were waiting for our order i saw him sitting on a waiters side resting,maybe waiting for a new costumer to arrive and assist them, i told my parents ill be on the bathroom for a second, without a second thought i ran into Adrian and grab him in his wrist and take him at the back pf the bathroom were no one can see us and started to ask him. There's a lot of questions in my head but the only thing i say is "You look tired" he just give me a pat and said "I'm fine go on have fun" why does my heart sank when he doesn't tell me why did he stopped from bullshitting me. When he started to walk away i grabbed his wrist and these words came out from my mouth " Why aren't you bullshiting me these past few weeks? You suddenly stopped going to school and it irritates me it fcking affects me i feel like somethings wrong with me, i feel like I'm all alone again, you suddenly left me after making me feel that i have someone i can laugh with" i can feel my cold tears starting to flow thru my cheeks and then suddenly his warm sweaty hands wipes my tears away and started to grab my waist and give me a smack, i was frozen for a moment not until i grabbed his head and pulled him towards me and kisses him torridly, i don't care if hes my boyfriend or not all i can think is that i want him mine, only mine.