NOT Your GUARDIAN

PAST

I will get old, you will get old..But I will still look in your eyes the way I looked at them when we were young.

For it was not into my ear that you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul.

***Raki***

**********

Throwback to YEAR 2000.

"Raki, my son, meet Lulu..and Nattarin, her daughter. From now on, they will be living with us."

My father had said one fine summer afternoon.

I am nine years old, and I didn't really understand what was happening, but Nattarin was a curious looking girl. She's a lot younger than me and stands just right up to my waist. Her hair was dark chocolate in color, shiny and straight, cascading down her golden brown skinned face with round doe eyes I couldn't help myself starring at. Her cute little nose and small pouty mouth, twisting relentlessly as boredom was evident in her face. I didn't care what was happening, all I know was I gain a playmate.

The lady who was called Lulu leans closer to me and touched my hair lightly. She has a Chocolate brown waist-length straight hair. She's fair skinned and a little skinny. Her round eyes mirrored the little one's features and her chestnut shaped lips were curved in a sweet smile.

She gently caressed my face and I got a whif of fresh daisy scent from her.

Lulu was a fair and gentle lady. She took care of me, as well as Nattarin who remained silent after a month of staying at our mansion. I heard that Dad and Lulu would get married soon, I heard it from the maids. I didn't know what getting married means, but Lulu said that she and Nattarin would be staying with us for a long while.

The idea made me hyped with excitement. That means I would have a new mommy. My first mom has left, and she hasn't come back yet. That also means that Nattarin and I would have plenty of time to play with each other even though she hardly spoke a word.

---------------------------------------------------

"Kid, wanna play catch?"

I saw her slumped on the grass, holding a small  red plastic ball.

She looked so lonely, so I approached and offered to play with.

She just looked back at me and continued to stare at the ball.

"You don't want to play with phi?"

"P-phi?"

She eyed me innocently.

"Yes, you may call me phi from now on..come on..don't be shy."

I slumped beside her on the grass when I didn't get the response that I want.

"You can call me phi..and I will call you Yai nong, because you're a cute girl."

I smiled sheepishly, earning another glance from her.

"W-what's cute?"

She asked eyeing me curiously

"A girl who smiles often and is happy everyday. Are you not happy being here with us?"

I asked.

"I-I am. But, I want to play and everyone seems busy. Mom is doing something in the kitchen."

She said looking so down.

"I can play with you."

I said smiling.

"But...you won't get mad at me?"

"Why would I get mad at you? No, I won't."

I said, as I snorted out.

"Because I'm an annoying kid."

She said looking down once again.

"Who said so? It's not true. Come, let's play."

"But my hands are tiny.."

She said looking at her little hands

"It's okay, you can do it."

Standing up, I offered her a hand and helped her stand.

That was the start of our happy memories. Nattarin has been stuck with me ever since. I taught her almost everything, from writing to reading and playing video games which she enjoyed a lot. We always played together, and that was the best summer days of my life.

When the classes started and I had to go to school, Nattarin, would always wait for me at the doorsteps. I would find her sitting at the porch, sometimes with Lulu or sometimes alone. She never failed to wait and run to me every single day.

One day, I came home to a thrilled Nattarin, it appeared that he wrote the word 'Sasi' on her arm using a permanent marker, and so frantic to show it to me.

"What did you do!?"

I asked, my eyes wide with shock as I rub her arm fiercely.

"Arthur said I loked like a full moon so I write it on my arm using the black inked pen so that I will remember it."

She's smiling goofily as if what she had done was something funny, but I didn't laugh at all.

"Tss, such stu-..uhh, what ever..who is this Arthur anyway??"

I dragged her towards the house to start cleaning the markings on her. I just put my school bag down on the grass and left it there, someone will come and keep it for me anyway.

"He is the boy next door, we played earlier. Mama let him in and she talked with Artie's mother for a long time."

"Listen, it's not safe to write permanent marker on your body, because it's hard to take it off. Look, it don't wash off easily."

Showing her arm while I briskly brushed it with soap.

"Aow, phi..it hurts..is phi angry at me?"

She asked softly, her eyes low and beginning to get teary that I stopped rubbing her arm. I sigh in surrender. This was my weakness.. The soft, teary eyed expression on her bread face.

"I'm sorry, I'm not angry at you. I just don't want you staining your smooth skin. I don't wanna see any markings on you from now on..understand?"

Explaining in a gentle way so that she wouldn't cry.

"Y-yes phi ..I understand."

"I wanna punish you..From now on I will call you Moon, to always remind you not to do it again. okay?"

"But phi.."

"No buts..Does my moon understand?"

"Okaaaay..the moon understands."

She replied pouting and it's so adorable to see that I started laughing loudly.

"Stop pouting nah.. such a baby!"

"But I am a baby! mama said I am her baby...am I your baby too phi ?"

"Yes of course. That's why I want to protect you..you're my baby."

I smiled at her fondly and engulf her into a tight hug that caused her to giggle.

She suddenly hugged me back with her wet arms that I tried to push her away but she kissed me on my cheeks instead. It melts my heart instantly. I had become soft.

Moon..my moon. my baby

---------------------------------------------------

I woke up feeling a bit light headed.

Slowly opened my eyes and the white ceiling welcomed my blurry vision.

Where am I?

"Finally, you're awake."

I looked instantly to the voice that came from no other than my own father, who was standing a few feet away from my hospital bed. I stared at him in confusion, Mr. Lamwilai stood next to him and they seem to be talking about something so important.

"Dad? what happened? what are you doing here? where am I?"

I asked in confusion as I test my body for any injury, and found that my left leg was in a cast. The last thing I remembered was....what was the last thing that I remember?

---------------------------------------------------

Earlier...

I ran furiously, thinking about all the possibilities that could happen to Sasi if I didn't catch the culprit in time. She must be terrified by now, she must have called for me many times..

the thought caused a tight grip at my chest. I really am so useless. What have I been doing all this time?

I want to curse and slap my self.

I want to protect her not just because I was paid to do it but because I won't be able to forgive myself if something bad happened to her.

I passed the fire exit, through a narrow pathway between the two buildings, adjacent to the parking area. When I stepped out to the parking lot, I scanned the place for any signs of Sasi and there, I saw a black hooded figure carrying the unconcious woman. She was swung uncaringly in the culprits shoulder like a sack of rice and that made my blood boil. How dare you carry my baby like that?!

I ran as fast as I could, my target locked, jumping on top of the parked cars, on a motorcycle, atop the hood of a blue Sedan...just to get to him in a lightning fast pace.

The audacity of this burglar to steal my woman before my eyes?!

Wait, she's not my woman..yet..

but hell! I will make you pay.. big time!

I was a few feet near him when suddenly a group of five men, all in black appeared out of nowhere.

Now we're talking..

Of course, they came at me all at once, and I fought them with everything I got. Sasi's life was at stake and there's no fuckin' way I'll gonna lose. The way that man carried Sasi, and the way he puts her harshly inside a white van tips me to the edge of my forbearance. He dropped her on the hard looking seats like a hot potato, and I saw Sasi's head bounced in the impact. He mishandled my baby!

You're a f*****g dead meat man!

My urge to kill empowered my fists, kicks and every turn, one by one they fell to the ground. My blood boiled, my every nerve screamed death to those who will come against me, claiming back what was mine.

When all but one were squirming into the aspalt, I stepped towards the van. It's the fucker's turn to die by my bear hands, when suddenly a shot took off. I looked behind me and saw that one of the fallen hoodlums was holding a caliber .38 hand gun, pointing at Sasi's direction. My mind went blank, my body trembled and moved on it's own accord. Before I knew it, I was jumping towards his unconcious figure when another shot was heard.

I fell on my knee as I saw the oozing blood out of my left leg. I took out the Nighthawk Aac that I picked earlier from the back of my waist band and without a blink, shot the guy down.

The siren of a police mobile was heard nearing towards us when suddenly something hard hit the back of my head, And everything went black.

---------------------------------------------------

Bumrungrad International Hospital -Present time.

"Dad, uncle, what happened?where's S-.."

I asked dad and uncle Alex impatiently when suddenly, the door of my room bursts open.

What the?! Can't I atleast finish what  I am saying first?

My breath were caught up in my lungs, because standing there with widened eyes, pale faced and full of dread was Sasi herself. She looked at me with a mixture of anxiety, pain, hate, concern and a bit of excitement.?

I drank in her appearance. Her messy hair that I longed to touch, her emotional eyes, that pale yet still pouting lips I longed to taste..

God, I miss her so much..

"Raki?! what the hell??"

She barked.. and yeah, I'm definitely dead.

...to be continued

I will get old, you will get old..But I will still look in your eyes the way I looked at them when we were young.

For it was not into my ear that you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul.

***Raki***

**********

Throwback to YEAR 2000.

"Raki, my son, meet Lulu..and Nattarin, her daughter. From now on, they will be living with us."

My father had said one fine summer afternoon.

I am nine years old, and I didn't really understand what was happening, but Nattarin was a curious looking girl. She's a lot younger than me and stands just right up to my waist. Her hair was dark chocolate in color, shiny and straight, cascading down her golden brown skinned face with round doe eyes I couldn't help myself starring at. Her cute little nose and small pouty mouth, twisting relentlessly as boredom was evident in her face. I didn't care what was happening, all I know was I gain a playmate.

The lady who was called Lulu leans closer to me and touched my hair lightly. She has a Chocolate brown waist-length straight hair. She's fair skinned and a little skinny. Her round eyes mirrored the little one's features and her chestnut shaped lips were curved in a sweet smile.

She gently caressed my face and I got a whif of fresh daisy scent from her.

Lulu was a fair and gentle lady. She took care of me, as well as Nattarin who remained silent after a month of staying at our mansion. I heard that Dad and Lulu would get married soon, I heard it from the maids. I didn't know what getting married means, but Lulu said that she and Nattarin would be staying with us for a long while.

The idea made me hyped with excitement. That means I would have a new mommy. My first mom has left, and she hasn't come back yet. That also means that Nattarin and I would have plenty of time to play with each other even though she hardly spoke a word.

---------------------------------------------------

"Kid, wanna play catch?"

I saw her slumped on the grass, holding a small  red plastic ball.

She looked so lonely, so I approached and offered to play with.

She just looked back at me and continued to stare at the ball.

"You don't want to play with phi?"

"P-phi?"

She eyed me innocently.

"Yes, you may call me phi from now on..come on..don't be shy."

I slumped beside her on the grass when I didn't get the response that I want.

"You can call me phi..and I will call you Yai nong, because you're a cute girl."

I smiled sheepishly, earning another glance from her.

"W-what's cute?"

She asked eyeing me curiously

"A girl who smiles often and is happy everyday. Are you not happy being here with us?"

I asked.

"I-I am. But, I want to play and everyone seems busy. Mom is doing something in the kitchen."

She said looking so down.

"I can play with you."

I said smiling.

"But...you won't get mad at me?"

"Why would I get mad at you? No, I won't."

I said, as I snorted out.

"Because I'm an annoying kid."

She said looking down once again.

"Who said so? It's not true. Come, let's play."

"But my hands are tiny.."

She said looking at her little hands

"It's okay, you can do it."

Standing up, I offered her a hand and helped her stand.

That was the start of our happy memories. Nattarin has been stuck with me ever since. I taught her almost everything, from writing to reading and playing video games which she enjoyed a lot. We always played together, and that was the best summer days of my life.

When the classes started and I had to go to school, Nattarin, would always wait for me at the doorsteps. I would find her sitting at the porch, sometimes with Lulu or sometimes alone. She never failed to wait and run to me every single day.

One day, I came home to a thrilled Nattarin, it appeared that he wrote the word 'Sasi' on her arm using a permanent marker, and so frantic to show it to me.

"What did you do!?"

I asked, my eyes wide with shock as I rub her arm fiercely.

"Arthur said I loked like a full moon so I write it on my arm using the black inked pen so that I will remember it."

She's smiling goofily as if what she had done was something funny, but I didn't laugh at all.

"Tss, such stu-..uhh, what ever..who is this Arthur anyway??"

I dragged her towards the house to start cleaning the markings on her. I just put my school bag down on the grass and left it there, someone will come and keep it for me anyway.

"He is the boy next door, we played earlier. Mama let him in and she talked with Artie's mother for a long time."

"Listen, it's not safe to write permanent marker on your body, because it's hard to take it off. Look, it don't wash off easily."

Showing her arm while I briskly brushed it with soap.

"Aow, phi..it hurts..is phi angry at me?"

She asked softly, her eyes low and beginning to get teary that I stopped rubbing her arm. I sigh in surrender. This was my weakness.. The soft, teary eyed expression on her bread face.

"I'm sorry, I'm not angry at you. I just don't want you staining your smooth skin. I don't wanna see any markings on you from now on..understand?"

Explaining in a gentle way so that she wouldn't cry.

"Y-yes phi ..I understand."

"I wanna punish you..From now on I will call you Moon, to always remind you not to do it again. okay?"

"But phi.."

"No buts..Does my moon understand?"

"Okaaaay..the moon understands."

She replied pouting and it's so adorable to see that I started laughing loudly.

"Stop pouting nah.. such a baby!"

"But I am a baby! mama said I am her baby...am I your baby too phi ?"

"Yes of course. That's why I want to protect you..you're my baby."

I smiled at her fondly and engulf her into a tight hug that caused her to giggle.

She suddenly hugged me back with her wet arms that I tried to push her away but she kissed me on my cheeks instead. It melts my heart instantly. I had become soft.

Moon..my moon. my baby

---------------------------------------------------

I woke up feeling a bit light headed.

Slowly opened my eyes and the white ceiling welcomed my blurry vision.

Where am I?

"Finally, you're awake."

I looked instantly to the voice that came from no other than my own father, who was standing a few feet away from my hospital bed. I stared at him in confusion, Mr. Lamwilai stood next to him and they seem to be talking about something so important.

"Dad? what happened? what are you doing here? where am I?"

I asked in confusion as I test my body for any injury, and found that my left leg was in a cast. The last thing I remembered was....what was the last thing that I remember?

---------------------------------------------------

Earlier...

I ran furiously, thinking about all the possibilities that could happen to Sasi if I didn't catch the culprit in time. She must be terrified by now, she must have called for me many times..

the thought caused a tight grip at my chest. I really am so useless. What have I been doing all this time?

I want to curse and slap my self.

I want to protect her not just because I was paid to do it but because I won't be able to forgive myself if something bad happened to her.

I passed the fire exit, through a narrow pathway between the two buildings, adjacent to the parking area. When I stepped out to the parking lot, I scanned the place for any signs of Sasi and there, I saw a black hooded figure carrying the unconcious woman. She was swung uncaringly in the culprits shoulder like a sack of rice and that made my blood boil. How dare you carry my baby like that?!

I ran as fast as I could, my target locked, jumping on top of the parked cars, on a motorcycle, atop the hood of a blue Sedan...just to get to him in a lightning fast pace.

The audacity of this burglar to steal my woman before my eyes?!

Wait, she's not my woman..yet..

but hell! I will make you pay.. big time!

I was a few feet near him when suddenly a group of five men, all in black appeared out of nowhere.

Now we're talking..

Of course, they came at me all at once, and I fought them with everything I got. Sasi's life was at stake and there's no fuckin' way I'll gonna lose. The way that man carried Sasi, and the way he puts her harshly inside a white van tips me to the edge of my forbearance. He dropped her on the hard looking seats like a hot potato, and I saw Sasi's head bounced in the impact. He mishandled my baby!

You're a f*****g dead meat man!

My urge to kill empowered my fists, kicks and every turn, one by one they fell to the ground. My blood boiled, my every nerve screamed death to those who will come against me, claiming back what was mine.

When all but one were squirming into the aspalt, I stepped towards the van. It's the fucker's turn to die by my bear hands, when suddenly a shot took off. I looked behind me and saw that one of the fallen hoodlums was holding a caliber .38 hand gun, pointing at Sasi's direction. My mind went blank, my body trembled and moved on it's own accord. Before I knew it, I was jumping towards his unconcious figure when another shot was heard.

I fell on my knee as I saw the oozing blood out of my left leg. I took out the Nighthawk Aac that I picked earlier from the back of my waist band and without a blink, shot the guy down.

The siren of a police mobile was heard nearing towards us when suddenly something hard hit the back of my head, And everything went black.

---------------------------------------------------

Bumrungrad International Hospital -Present time.

"Dad, uncle, what happened?where's S-.."

I asked dad and uncle Alex impatiently when suddenly, the door of my room bursts open.

What the?! Can't I atleast finish what  I am saying first?

My breath were caught up in my lungs, because standing there with widened eyes, pale faced and full of dread was Sasi herself. She looked at me with a mixture of anxiety, pain, hate, concern and a bit of excitement.?

I drank in her appearance. Her messy hair that I longed to touch, her emotional eyes, that pale yet still pouting lips I longed to taste..

God, I miss her so much..

"Raki?! what the hell??"

She barked.. and yeah, I'm definitely dead.

...to be continued

I will get old, you will get old..But I will still look in your eyes the way I looked at them when we were young.

For it was not into my ear that you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul.

***Raki***

**********

Throwback to YEAR 2000.

"Raki, my son, meet Lulu..and Nattarin, her daughter. From now on, they will be living with us."

My father had said one fine summer afternoon.

I am nine years old, and I didn't really understand what was happening, but Nattarin was a curious looking girl. She's a lot younger than me and stands just right up to my waist. Her hair was dark chocolate in color, shiny and straight, cascading down her golden brown skinned face with round doe eyes I couldn't help myself starring at. Her cute little nose and small pouty mouth, twisting relentlessly as boredom was evident in her face. I didn't care what was happening, all I know was I gain a playmate.

The lady who was called Lulu leans closer to me and touched my hair lightly. She has a Chocolate brown waist-length straight hair. She's fair skinned and a little skinny. Her round eyes mirrored the little one's features and her chestnut shaped lips were curved in a sweet smile.

She gently caressed my face and I got a whif of fresh daisy scent from her.

Lulu was a fair and gentle lady. She took care of me, as well as Nattarin who remained silent after a month of staying at our mansion. I heard that Dad and Lulu would get married soon, I heard it from the maids. I didn't know what getting married means, but Lulu said that she and Nattarin would be staying with us for a long while.

The idea made me hyped with excitement. That means I would have a new mommy. My first mom has left, and she hasn't come back yet. That also means that Nattarin and I would have plenty of time to play with each other even though she hardly spoke a word.

---------------------------------------------------

"Kid, wanna play catch?"

I saw her slumped on the grass, holding a small  red plastic ball.

She looked so lonely, so I approached and offered to play with.

She just looked back at me and continued to stare at the ball.

"You don't want to play with phi?"

"P-phi?"

She eyed me innocently.

"Yes, you may call me phi from now on..come on..don't be shy."

I slumped beside her on the grass when I didn't get the response that I want.

"You can call me phi..and I will call you Yai nong, because you're a cute girl."

I smiled sheepishly, earning another glance from her.

"W-what's cute?"

She asked eyeing me curiously

"A girl who smiles often and is happy everyday. Are you not happy being here with us?"

I asked.

"I-I am. But, I want to play and everyone seems busy. Mom is doing something in the kitchen."

She said looking so down.

"I can play with you."

I said smiling.

"But...you won't get mad at me?"

"Why would I get mad at you? No, I won't."

I said, as I snorted out.

"Because I'm an annoying kid."

She said looking down once again.

"Who said so? It's not true. Come, let's play."

"But my hands are tiny.."

She said looking at her little hands

"It's okay, you can do it."

Standing up, I offered her a hand and helped her stand.

That was the start of our happy memories. Nattarin has been stuck with me ever since. I taught her almost everything, from writing to reading and playing video games which she enjoyed a lot. We always played together, and that was the best summer days of my life.

When the classes started and I had to go to school, Nattarin, would always wait for me at the doorsteps. I would find her sitting at the porch, sometimes with Lulu or sometimes alone. She never failed to wait and run to me every single day.

One day, I came home to a thrilled Nattarin, it appeared that he wrote the word 'Sasi' on her arm using a permanent marker, and so frantic to show it to me.

"What did you do!?"

I asked, my eyes wide with shock as I rub her arm fiercely.

"Arthur said I loked like a full moon so I write it on my arm using the black inked pen so that I will remember it."

She's smiling goofily as if what she had done was something funny, but I didn't laugh at all.

"Tss, such stu-..uhh, what ever..who is this Arthur anyway??"

I dragged her towards the house to start cleaning the markings on her. I just put my school bag down on the grass and left it there, someone will come and keep it for me anyway.

"He is the boy next door, we played earlier. Mama let him in and she talked with Artie's mother for a long time."

"Listen, it's not safe to write permanent marker on your body, because it's hard to take it off. Look, it don't wash off easily."

Showing her arm while I briskly brushed it with soap.

"Aow, phi..it hurts..is phi angry at me?"

She asked softly, her eyes low and beginning to get teary that I stopped rubbing her arm. I sigh in surrender. This was my weakness.. The soft, teary eyed expression on her bread face.

"I'm sorry, I'm not angry at you. I just don't want you staining your smooth skin. I don't wanna see any markings on you from now on..understand?"

Explaining in a gentle way so that she wouldn't cry.

"Y-yes phi ..I understand."

"I wanna punish you..From now on I will call you Moon, to always remind you not to do it again. okay?"

"But phi.."

"No buts..Does my moon understand?"

"Okaaaay..the moon understands."

She replied pouting and it's so adorable to see that I started laughing loudly.

"Stop pouting nah.. such a baby!"

"But I am a baby! mama said I am her baby...am I your baby too phi ?"

"Yes of course. That's why I want to protect you..you're my baby."

I smiled at her fondly and engulf her into a tight hug that caused her to giggle.

She suddenly hugged me back with her wet arms that I tried to push her away but she kissed me on my cheeks instead. It melts my heart instantly. I had become soft.

Moon..my moon. my baby

---------------------------------------------------

I woke up feeling a bit light headed.

Slowly opened my eyes and the white ceiling welcomed my blurry vision.

Where am I?

"Finally, you're awake."

I looked instantly to the voice that came from no other than my own father, who was standing a few feet away from my hospital bed. I stared at him in confusion, Mr. Lamwilai stood next to him and they seem to be talking about something so important.

"Dad? what happened? what are you doing here? where am I?"

I asked in confusion as I test my body for any injury, and found that my left leg was in a cast. The last thing I remembered was....what was the last thing that I remember?

---------------------------------------------------