Unbreakable

Rolls

    I'm running, hard fast, the grass and trees whipping by me. I come to a clearing and there is a glowing    orb in front of Diamond Lake. I run towards it and before I can get close enough to see more than a    silhouette encased in light. it's like a door is slammed in my face and my eyes are too heavy to open again. I slowly work them open again and see Darkness. The skylight holds a deep blue indicating its night time leading into the early hours of the morning. I check my phone. 4:43a.m.. As I start to wonder why I'm in bed it hits me. The shower, my mate, I reach up to my hair that was freshly braided before Ryan grabbed it and sure enough it was half way apart and I am pretty sure I feel dried blood on my scalp. My heart hurts. I run a bath and send Tate a text. "Thank you for saving me". I figured he would be asleep and I hopped into the jacuzzi and began to cry. 

    "Enough", my wolfs soft voice comes through my head clear as day. I am so hurt and I can't tell if it's mine or hers. "I'm sorry. I wish I knew how to fix this for you." I mutter to her. Since shes appeared in my head all that I know is that she feels, and she wants her mate. She seems so emotion filled and I don't know what's normal. "Alina"  She says to me, "We Alina". Then it makes sense. All I had tried to coax from my wolf was comfort and her name. "Nice to meet you Alina". She was silent after but she knew it was what I needed. What we needed. We needed to know each other, or else we would both be stuck with the others pain.

    Tate messaged me back a quarter after 5a.m. saying he wanted to come check out our emails and update our addresses on our college applications. I linked him to reply you sure that's a good idea? Visiting didn't go over so well last time."

    "Alpha A-Hole can shove it, I'll be over in 20. Wait, make that 10, I was going to make breakfast first but this kitchen is soohoho not up to my standards" I laugh back and before I know it he's at my door with his fathers old laptop. I go to the kitchen and brew coffee and leave Tate to make some cinnamon rolls from scratch. He even has this little blue apron on that was hanging in the corner just singing I missed me more by Kelsi Ballerini as he finished rolling pecans into the dough. I logged into my email and had received 2 acceptance emails and 1 rejection. My heart skyrocketed, I still haven't heard back from a couple but there is hope if I decide to leave. Wait. I open the email from Columbia....

"We are pleased to extend to you our warmest welcome to the University of Columbia, after reviewing your academic achievements we have determined that you are eligible for an all inclusive educational experience with the university. Your educational merits have earned you the following scholarships should you choose to pursue your education with our establishment. Welcome to UOC!...

 It trailed off into a list of scholarships that sounded like peoples names but this was my top choice. The one school I thought I would have no chance at acceptance. "Tate..." He must have sensed something was off as he hurried the rolls into the oven and dropped himself onto the couch next to me. "Are you seeing what I'm seeing here?" I asked him, but he was silent. I look over and his eyes are wide, "Tess I can't get into this school, there's no way"

"But you applied too when I gave you the application right?" and before I finished talking he was already swapping email accounts and scanning his inbox, "AHA, okay here we go, we are pleased to extend to you our warmest... I GOT IN TESS! WE GOT IN!!!" He screamed as he stood up abruptly shouting and his laptop begins to fall from his lap, I caught it awkwardly and sat it on the coffee table and just stared at it. We did it. We can leave. Alina whined in my head and I knew instantly she didn't want us to leave our mate. 

"Rolls Tate" I managed to stumble the words from my mouth, he looked at me c0ck eyed for a moment and then had his moment of realization, "Sh*t timer, timer," he said as he peaked at the rolls and began to search the kitchen to set an alarm. "Hey Siri, set an alarm for 10 minutes from now", I chimed and Tate just gave me a salty glare before laughing at me and picking up the sugar to make icing. 20 minutes later he and I are stuffing our faces and I'm praising the cooking skills he was gifted and I was not. We were both surprised when a small speaker in the corner of my living room ceiling boomed "AM training, all new recruits follow the path to the front of the packhouse. Patrols begin your shifts". It was Alpha Ryan's voice and I could feel Alina's excitement and resentment at the same time. Looking at the clock it was already almost 7a.m. and the time had flown since Tate got here.

    "Tate, I can feel my wolf" His dark brown eyes shot to mine and he stopped chewing the bite of cinnamon roll in his mouth for a moment as if he understood that it wasn't all good by me in this moment. "She doesn't speak much, but she recognizes our mate. How do I handle her feelings on top of mine?" I looked up at him fighting frustration tears at how the simple announcement and hearing his voice made us react. He knew. He knew the hurt that came from both sides when you experience rejection from your mate. And while I haven't been formally rejected the pain is there and its overwhelming. I don't know if it's just mine but I don't know how to cope with it.  

    "Tess, that's a hard one. I have known my wolf my whole life. Around 6/7 when I was first able to communicate with Jax it didn't take me long to realize that his feelings and mine are one in the same. You are your wolf. Most of us become one, and the animal side of us remains under our control. Sure, you hear their thoughts and opinions and it may just be the side of yourself that you're disconnected from most that your wolf exhibits for you but your souls are intertwined. What you may be learning very slowly is that while you are both separate beings of consciousness she is still you, your needs, your desires, your struggles are all hers too. Have faith in yourself, and you will have faith in her. She is the gift of the Moon Goddess. Her soul is intertwined with yours. She will always be there for you even when it seems like she's not"

     I mulled over what he had said as I went to fetch my tennis shoes and brush out my hair. It had retained some curls from the braid so I let it fall in red waves from a high pony tail. My mood lightened at his words although I think he may be trying to get too deep on me. He was rejected by his mate so I wanted to ask more. I wanted him to help me sort it out but I knew he wouldn't have any magical answers or fix-alls. I also didn't want to remind him that his mate rejected him. I dabbed on some light eyeliner, sighed, and called it good enough before returning to the living room. Tate closed his laptop and followed me out the door towards the packhouse.