Delivering Blu Skies (BWWM)

Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Blu wasn’t around today… And to be honest, I kinda miss her. But practice went on as usual. This time I wasn’t late. So didn’t have to pack up all the equipment which smelt like a dogs ass crack. But it kinda remind me of old times you know? The time when everyone thought I was the s**t and I had a line of girls waiting for me. The perks of being a rugby co-captain were endless.

I mean I remember a time when I had a girl volunteer to do my assessment for me. I remember partying – lots of partying and feeling like the king of the motherfucking world. And then I remember the day when Rick lost his job, f****d off for a few months and came back. And everything changed. It was s**t. And nothing mattered anymore. Not the girls, not school, not rugby. Nothing. I remember having a lame ass excuse for mates back then. Which is pretty f*****g hilarious. Those motherfuckers were in awe at rugby practice. I hadn’t lost my talent, I just lost my mind.

“Ey Marv!” Simon was hollering like a motherfucking banshee for no reason, we were just walking back to my car and he was waiting for his mom.

“The f**k man?”

“Dude, you headed to Themba’s party?” He was excited. Don’t ask me why but Simon and booze is like a kid with candy.

“f**k that.”

“Dude?” He deadpanned. “The f**k? Free booze, weed and chicks? I need a break from Forrest freaking out about this Matric Dance s**t, you need a break from your s**t. What sounds better than that?” He shrugged in defeat.

“Livvy.” As corny as this sounds playing thirty seconds with Livvy sounded a whole lot better. Simone rolled his eyes. “Wettie and Mevrou are headed out on Friday night. Some old folks gig” I shrugged.

Simon rolled his eyes, and from the corner of my eye, I could see his mom’s SUV approaching the school lot. “Fine whatever,” Simon look uncomfortable for a second. “Marv, you’re not doing things again right?”

“Right.” He was serious. It was weird whenever Simon got worried about anything. His mom pulled up behind us before he opened his mouth.

“Hi boys.” Mrs Mgeni was pretty amazing. She was one of those housewivy-type women who didn’t age. Simon described her as one of his best friend but sometimes would call her a woman obsessed with the latest weaves with the newest Nike to fill her blank soul. Mrs M’s biggest obsession was Simon, she was always at his games, and she’d been on the PTA for years.

“Sup Ma.” He stuffed his bags into the boot. “I’m driving today.”

They swopped sides and before she got into the passenger side she hugged me. She always smelt like money. She smiled, her tiny brown eyes were behind her sunglasses. “How you feeling Kai?”

I’d let Mrs M have this moment. I didn’t roll my eyes . “I’m okay. Got back on the rugby team.” I shrugged but her smile widened.

“That’s great news sweetheart. It’s so good seeing my babies doing well.” She pitched my cheek before stepping into the car. Her face turned serious for a minute and her brown skin creased slightly.“Send you mom my love.” was all she said before Sy drove off.

I got home and found Livvy napping on the couch, while watching cartoons and Mevrou was doing some gardening, I went out to go help but Mevrou would never let me do any of manual labour and Wettie didn’t want me going to work this week. Business wasn’t booming, and I’m pretty sure he was about to sell the place and head off into his retirement.

I put Livvy in her bed. After a shower, I was bored. The box in my cupboard was taunting the s**t outta me. I didn’t know what Blu wanted me to do with the letters now. But I took the box, placing it my bed and after a second of just starting at it. I opened it. Twinkle-Twinkle Little Star played out of the tiny box.

The box was filled with letters. There were three groups of neatly stacked letters with a pink ribbon wrapped around them. Stack number one was labEllad family. Stack number two was friends. And number three was weird. It was labEllad; Him.

Like the mailboy I am, I sorted through the letters. Eleven letters for her family. Four letters for school. And five letters for Him. Blu was really liked this guy. It was kinda weird to think that Blu had a boyfriend, it made sense. She was cool, even if she was dead.

“Hey Kai” Blu came leaned against my desk. Today it was my grey hoodie again and yellow duck slippers again. She was smiling, a full blown smile flashing all her teeth. It was hard not to admit that she look really good when she smiled liked that.

“Dead girl.” I nodded. “Thanks for not walking in on my naked.”

She instantly looked embarrassed. “Well I kinda did.”

“I hope you’re joking again?” My face caved. Blu started laughing.

“Well…” Blu bit her lower lip, trying to stop her laughter. “I stopped by after practice yesterday. And you were just there!” She covered her face with her small palm before smiling up at me. “If it helps I only saw your back, before I left out.” Blu was cute when she was embarrassed. Her embarrassment made me forget all about mine. “But if it is any consolation, you’ve got a cute bum.”

To be honest with you, I was alittle speechless. Blu realized what she’d just said and tried to amend it. “I mean like… For a bum –“

“Blu you’re gonna start babbling. It’s not a big deal. It’s just funny.” I laughed. It was a real laugh, one that barely happened.

“But you really need to think before you think about me!” She warned.

“Blu, I’d love to talk about my naked ass all day. But I figured you wanted to talk about these letters?” I motioned to my bed and her face immediately fell. “We don’t have to if –“

“No I want to.” Her eyes didn’t leave the pile of letters laid out on the bed.

“Am I allowed to ask questions?”

Her eyes were on me now. She was nervous, her hands were playing with the hem of my hoodie. “If it makes me uncomfortable, I’m gonna say pass, okay?”

“Okay. So your dad was at the top of the pile? You want me to give him his letter first –“

“No, my mom first. She’s a mess. I think she needs it the most. My dad will get his s**t last.” She was looking at Mevrou picking at her lemon tree in the backyard.

“Okay. So who’s Him – a guy?” I didn’t want to sound like a cared, but I cared. Five letters is a bit much.

“Pass.”

I didn’t push. “It’s still pretty early out. Where can we find your mom?”

Blu face didn’t change, she still looked upset. “At the hospital.”

Somewhere along the way to the hospital Blu started playing with the hem of my hoodie again. It was distracting, I just had to a hold of her hand to stop it. She was cold, but I couldn’t focus with her nails scratching into my hoodie.

“You need to stop that.”

“Sorry.” She was timid.

“So what story we gonna spin on your mom?”

She shrugged. “Uhm – I- don’t know.”

“Did she know you had a boyfriend?”

Blu laughed unexpectedly. It was odd but I was glad she wasn’t nervous anymore. “I didn’t have a boyfriend.”

“Oh, I just thought. And the letters? To that guy? Him?”

“Ah- uhm – “ If she was uncomfortable I didn’t want Blu to answer.

“Hey, it’s cool. It’s none of my business.” She nodded gratefully. We were silent, until I parked at the hospital. I didn’t feel awkward but Blu held onto my hand tightly. Maybe I was wrong, maybe this was awkward and I was just too busy driving to notice.

“So what room are you in?” I asked.

She chuckled lightly. “Level four. 4E.”

I was right. Blu was in a private room. I thought it would be a nice gesture to get her a get well soon card and a bunch of flower. I guess I was nervous too. It’s not like Blu’s mom doesn’t know me. My mom works for her. It just that… s**t changes when you turn crazy.

I stopped right at the door. The room was a whole lot bigger than mine. And Mrs Tlale had her back to the door, she was hovering over Blu’s bed; covering Blu. All I could see was Blu’s hand on the bed. I couldn’t feel Blu’s cold hand in mine anymore. I looked to the side. She was gone. And before I could make a run for it, the door opened.

Mrs Tlale didn’t have Blu’s big brown eyes. But she had Blu’s button nose and she looked pretty good for a lady with puffy red eyes and a dead daughter. Her mouth dropped. “Kai?” She didn’t really give me much of a chance to answer. She hugged me tightly, she had to stretch a bit but she managed.

“Hi.” That was my pathetic a greeting. I’m just stunned she didn’t kick me out when she saw me.

“It’s good to see you.” She pulled away. And the smile that she had on her face quickly left. “I didn’t know you and Blu were friends. She was always so concerned about you. How are you?“ I found it odd how in the midst of all this s**t, she still found the time to even give a f**k about me.

“I’m okay. I just got back on the rugby team.” I shrugged. “These are for Blu by the way.” I handed her the flowers and the cards. It looked like she was gonna cry again but she didn’t.

“Thank you.” She croaked. “Were you too close?”

I didn’t want to lie, but I didn’t want to be completely honest either. “We could have been closer. But I was too much of an anti-social asshole to really get to know her. I know I should have come earlier but that felt insincere.” There was small smile on her face. She sighed.

“Sweetheart, you’ve been through a lot. I don’t blame you for not wanting to comeback.”

My eyes accidently looked over at Blu. I don’t know if I was angry, sad or just high. Because Blu had a bandage wrapped around the length of her arm and tubes connected all over her body. She was pale. The machine was steady, unexpectedly I didn’t feel very steady. I was out of it for a second. But then I remembered the letters.

“I found something while cleaning up Blu’s locker.” Her mom’s eyes immediately became teary.

“What is it?” She whispered.

“It looks like letters. I promise I haven’t opened them.” I pulled out the letters from my back pocket. “But that’s Blu’s handwriting right?” I handed her the letters. Mrs Tlale was really fighting these tears man, and I felt s**t for making her cry. Her hands were shaking as she took the letters. “I’m sorry. You don’t have to read them if you don’t want to. I just figured –“

“Thank you Kai.” Now she let the tears roll down her cheeks. “I’m gonna go to get air and read them. You can stay here as long as you want. I need to talk to you afterwards. Unless if you’re busy?”

“Nope, take all the time you need.” I added before she rushed out.

It was just me and Blu. It was hard not to stare. She just looked so dead? Like it not like she’s a ball of life right now but she’d not a vegetable. I hadn’t realised how long I was staring until Blu appeared.

“Dead girl, you ditched me?” She looked a little disorientated.

“Its- it’s – I was at my house?” Her eyes were wide with her eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

“So?”

“You don’t get it. I’ve never been allowed there in this state.” She bit her lip before she looked up at me. “Think I’m beginning to see why Ezra decided on you.” She sighed. “But I don’t know if that means I’m becoming more dead than I already was, or more alive?”

I was trying to look apathetic, but I wanted Blu to live. If anyone deserved life, she did. “Why don’t you just jumping back in?”

Blu looked up at me and laughed. She laughed like she was in comedy club. Her nose wrinkled when she did that. “I tried that. It’s like it repels me. “

“Maybe that’s a sign that she’s just warming up for you to come back.” I sat on her bed, just looking at her body. I found myself wishing for her to open her big brown eyes.

“Touch my hand.” I didn’t argue. I held onto her lifeless hand. It wasn’t cold like Blu’s hand but it wasn’t warm either. “I can’t feel a thing. You can let go now.” I have could let go but I didn’t.

Blu’s mom walked in. She’d tried to put on some make-up but it wasn’t hiding anything. She smiled hopelessly and handed me a sandwich and coke from the cafeteria downstairs. “I’m sorry I took so long. It’s hard getting out the car when your daughter calls you a terrible mother in one letter and a great mom in the other.” She hiccupped. “I tried so hard. I didn’t know –“

“I can’t watch her like this. “ With that, Blu was gone.

I hugged her before she quickly pulled herself together. “Kai, why did you do it? Help me understand how a smart boy like you, would chose to go down that path then- then would try hurt yourself. Why?” Her voice was still shaky and for a minute I couldn’t speak.

I cleared my throat. “I can’t speak for Blu. You know, feeling but not feeling at all? Then waking up and thinking; goddamn it, I’m alive today. Please let me get hit by a truck so I can at least end on a high. Because I am nothing. And it just gets hard.” I was trying not to remember any of this, but Blu’s mom needed something to help her out. “Then you break.”

I don’t know if I helped because she kept quiet for a while. “Kids should never be allowed to feel like that.”

“Yeah, but a lot of us do.”

“Kai, I really hope you’re doing okay and you aren’t getting in to trouble.” She warned.

“No Ma’m. If anything I’m just worried about my mom. Have you heard from her?” I was worried, usually mom would come get us back and we’d pretend to be a happy family right about now.

She paused. “She came by the office. She looked terrible, frightened, bruised.” I was going to kill Rick. “She said he left and that she was tried. I told her to leave him and that she could use my services for free. But then she went on to say it was her fault. But yesterday, she looked better. She said your dad wasn’t back, and that she’s gonna stay with Allen for a while, she needs to think. I’d like to think she’d leave him.”

“You and I both know she’s not that smart.” Mrs Tlale opened her mouth but quickly shut her lips. “I should get going. I’ll be back soon.”

“Kai?” She called before I left the door. I turned on my heels. “I saw the way you were holding her hand. Were you and Blu a coup –“

“No,” I interrrupted. “Girls like Blu are way too good for me.”

She smiled. “I doubt that. It’s just that. You two together, I know there’s medication for this kind of stuff but I don’t want you two agreeing to do something dangerous.”

“If Blu and I were ever together. I’d never let her do anything stupid. I still regret my mistake. I’m still paying for it– one year later. I want Blu to live.” I meant what I said. “I should get going.”

She nodded her head. “It was good seeing you Kai. If you ever want to stop by anytime. I’ll be sure to put you on the visitors list.”

“Thanks.”