The Fall

Chapter 8

Zoe- 2016

I indulged in roasted pig, savored some beers, and learned the intricacies of euchre, all while scanning the lively crowd for any sign of Eero. But didn’t see him again, I knew he was out of my league. Watching him in the ring had made it abundantly clear that he was the most formidable Alpha present. So, despite the smoldering attraction I felt whenever I thought of him, I knew deep down that I had no chance of capturing his attention, not even for a brief tryst in the forest.

Logan escorted me back to the house just after midnight. I allowed him to embrace me and left a gentle kiss on his cheek. If it hadn't been for the presence of Kari and Porter, I might have invited him into my room.

Sleep eluded me once more, with my restlessness manifesting in waves of heat and longing. Vivid dreams featuring Eero played out in my mind, his dominating presence and power on full display. I awoke to an intense image of his muscles flexing as he moved against me.

The alarm forced me to snap back to reality; it reminded me of my breakfast duties. I muttered a curse under my breath. f**k. The expletive rang loudly, echoing my inner frustration in my mind. Was that my voice or something similar, sharing my sentiments? My wolf, perhaps? Panic washed over me as I realized what was happening. It was starting, not all at once, as I had naively assumed from everything I'd read about wolves getting their power at eighteen. Instead, the hot flashes, the dreams, the voice that had haunted me yesterday and just now—it was all part of the process. I was becoming a wolf.

I rushed to prepare myself, hastily throwing on leggings and my dad's shirt.

I find Kari in the kitchen and I assault her with questions. About my first shift and the changes leading up to it. She says days or weeks before my birthday I should notice things like scents and sounds. She tells me my skin getting flushed or itchy is normal. She talks me through scenting and rutting as a wolf. I can tell the conversation is awkward for her as it is for me but I appreciate her for it. Not growing up around wolves and having two absentee parents left me with a lack of information but after an hour, the ladies in the kitchen answered everything I could ever want to know and then some. Each told me stories about their first shift.

It seems I am likely to throw myself at any wolf nearby, presenting oneself is one of the very first things a she-wolf does after transition. My resolve to lose my virginity strengthens. I’d rather remember my first time and be an active participant than be rutted in the woods to some rando.

Kari tells me about the moon cycles and connecting with the earth. She says I won’t shift till the first full moon after I turn 18. She talks to me about spending time outside and how running through the forest is healing. That when I am restless or can’t sleep, going on a walk or running even on two legs is therapeutic. Taking that knowledge, I head out after breakfast preparation is done. This time I am prepared with a towel, my swimsuit, and some snacks. I want to head to the falls again and since most everyone is still sleeping, the wolves partied till dawn. I will have some time to connect with the earth, my wolf, or whatever.

The weekend thus far had managed to uplift my mood somewhat. I wasn't entirely lost in my grief, though a deep well of sadness and guilt still resided within me. There was at times an undeniable urge to be alone with my emotions, to fully feel the weight of my loss. Right now was one of those times. I acknowledged the progress I had made in healing, understanding that with time, things would improve. But for now, I needed to embrace my pain.

I found myself scaling the rocks behind the falls, leading me to a cavern where the echoing thunder of the falls surrounded me. Amidst the roar of nature's power, I suddenly caught a familiar scent—a seductive musk intertwined with hints of cedar and rosewood. I knew that scent all too well—it was Eero's.

Part of me half-expected to find him waiting inside the cave, but to my surprise, the grotto was empty. It was a small, hidden oasis with a crystal-clear pool fed by the river's waters, and rays of sunlight streamed through a few small cracks in the stone. There were cozy spots to sit along the sides of the grotto, and while the place was undeniably beautiful, it wasn't a destination many frequented. Most preferred the natural hot springs or the larger grotto down by the riverbend water hole.

"Zoe," I heard from behind me. The baritone of his voice reverberated through the cave, sending shivers down my spine and making my heart race. I gasped, unable to suppress the potent mixture of desire and excitement that his presence brought, like a heady cocktail of s*x and sin.

"Say my name again," I whispered, my voice barely audible, lost in the intoxicating feeling of his presence.

"Zoe," he drawled, his voice slower and more deliberate this time, sending shivers coursing through my body. I could feel his warm breath against the back of my neck, and without thinking, I tilted back, leaning into him. It was as if some irresistible force was pulling me toward him, my body craving his heat and closeness. My hand pressed against his thigh, my cheek nuzzling against his chest, and then I froze, a sudden realization washing over me: What was I doing?

"Eero," I gasped, then quickly straightened up, as if startled, though not by his presence but by my own intense physical reaction to him.

"Were you expecting someone else?" His voice carried a hint of tension.

"No, I just, um..." I stumbled over my words, desperately trying to find an explanation, and then hastily made my way out of the cave, brushing past him. "I thought I was dreaming for a second." I blurted out, feeling utterly mortified.

"Are you okay?" He asked with genuine concern. "I scented distress."

"I am fine," I stammered, though inside, I was horribly embarrassed. I moved too quickly, descending the slippery rocks leading from the grotto back to the falls. I knew to be cautious with the moisture and incline, but my embarrassment had me rushing down the rocks. It was the moment I misstepped, my left foot sliding out from under me, my back slamming into the rock. I continued to slide, trying to find purchase on the jagged rocks, but I only managed to wedge my right foot between two rocks, twisting my ankle as my body fell, smacking into rocks all the way down to the water.

When I surfaced, it was with Eero's arms around me, pulling me to shore. I was so embarrassed that I wanted to crawl out of my skin, bury my head in the dirt, anything to escape this situation.

He dragged me to the grass and started inspecting my scrapes and bruises. His focus was on the long cut along my shin, using my towel to press and staunch the bleeding. I, on the other hand, was fixated on the beads of water glistening on his bronzed skin, and his sharp, defined jawline.

When he removed the pressure on my shin to examine it, the blood welled up, filling the wound and dripping down my leg instantaneously. I had never felt so humiliated. Till he kneels before me putting his mouth to my wound, he passes over the wound with his tongue flat and wide coated in blood, my blood as he takes long sweeps over my flesh. I watched in amazement as the wound closed and healed under his care. He continued to lap against my skin, even after the wound had completely healed, setting my whole body on fire.

Something about his attention on me, his care for me, his one hand wrapped behind my knee, the other resting on my thigh, while he holds my leg, licking it, is downright sensual. Or at least my body seems to think, the flare of heat is pulsing in my core, and excitement aches through me. My p***y clenches at the sight of this magnificent, strong male in front of me. He inhales deeply, his fingers digging slightly into my flesh. “Little one.” His voice a low growl.

“I’m so sorry. Thank you for doing that.” I stumble to my feet, and my leg surprisingly feels great. I throw my maxi dress over my head, grab the towel, and shove it into the bag I brought with me.

“Wait,” he says. But I am too mortified. Between the fall and then my obvious arousal. I apologize again and practically sprint back to the packhouse.

As I returned to the house, my eyes fell upon my sister, Ava, who was hanging all over Logan, feeding him strawberries. It was a familiar scene, one that never failed to irritate me. Whenever I showed an interest in something, Ava had to have it for herself. She seemed determined to ruin everything for me. I stomped past the kitchen and headed up the stairs, ignoring Logan as he called my name.

I knew it wasn't really Logan's fault. The problem lay with Ava. Ever since our time in Mavenwood, the town we left before coming to Aurora Falls, she had struggled to control herself.

I would make a friend, and she would befriend them, ultimately driving a wedge between us. Sometimes, she would even force our friends to choose between us. If a boy showed interest in me instead of her, she would pretend to be me and steal their affection. When we arrived in Aurora Falls, she had slept with the first guy I was genuinely interested in, then with Nick, my first real boyfriend, and of course, Johnnie. Both of my boyfriends she had slept with while pretending to be me. I had long ago realized that Ava was damaged, and her dysfunction drove her to hurt people and push them away. I was no exception. So, I had learned to accept it and stopped fighting to be in her life. I understood her struggle, but I wasn't in a position to help her with it, not with everything else going on in my life. If only we had had parents growing up, maybe she wouldn't be like this, and maybe I wouldn't be like this.

As dinner approached, I found myself in a dilemma. Part of me considered heading back out to the fields. After all, if I was going to lose my virginity, tonight was supposedly the night, the final night of Solstice when everyone paired off. On the other hand, I didn't really feel like being around people at the moment. The mortifying experience with Eero earlier had left me hesitant, and I dreaded the possibility of running into him again. Then there was the tension with my sister, which I wanted to avoid at all costs. Add to that the overwhelming memories of my parents and the fresh grief that surged in my belly whenever something reminded me of them. I yearned to just go back to bed and wake up in a different life.

But I reminded myself that I was only 16 days away from that different life. I reminded myself I had goals and things to take care of before I left Aurora Falls behind. I didn't have to wait for some distant future to start enjoying life. I encouraged myself to suck it up and head out. I slipped into the black dress and pinned my hair half up. My sister acted like she had something special to offer people that I didn't, but as I surveyed myself in the mirror, I thought, "Screw her." I had plenty to offer the world, and I wasn't a vacuum, sucking people dry like her. My body was my body, and I wasn't going to let her make me feel inferior. With my head held high, I descended the stairs and set off on my mission.