Withering Soul

Sofie

A commotion happened one night when we enjoyed our night snack and tea before going to sleep. The trainees for the girl-group which was about to debut for the next 3 years were coming. They occupied the apartment house right below us. The building was owned by the company owner, and the activities of the company were centered on the 1st to the 3rd floors. The 4th floor was occupied by our seniors, especially for the girl group. The 5th floor was occupied by our seniors, especially for the boy-group. And I finally knew why the 6th floor was vacant. So it was for girls trainees. And when the group from my badge debuted, the 7th floor would also be vacant till the next program. And the seniors on the 4th and 5th floors would be allowed to live in their own house by the time the new group debuted. I was just mingling listening to their conversation, they were excited, complimenting how beautiful they were. And they named Sofie, one of the trainees.

Sofie? That Sofie I ever knew? How could that happen? I was all ears listening to the next conversation. They said she was freaking beautiful. Not sure if she was pure Korean or coming from abroad, but just how boys talked about girls, they described her in detail as a beautiful hot girl with short hair and her skin was as white as ivory. Sofie?

I couldn’t sleep. Until I made a plan, I would be able to check on her in the company cafeteria. Once in a while, we would visit the cafeteria to have meals. Even though, most of the time, meals would be delivered to the classes where we did our activities. And when we did, we would meet with our seniors if we’re lucky. Most of the time, only us trainees occupied the room. And of course, at every meal, the company staff did. Yes, I wished I had a chance to confirm if it was her or not. But after a while, I concluded that I was overthinking. There were so many people in the world named Sofie. Why would I think that it’s that Sofie who I once knew?

‘Yes buddy, you were overthinking. Stop that’ Yeah, I stopped my speculation and got back to life. Moreover, we didn’t even have a chance to go to the cafeteria after that time. I really didn’t have time to check and confirm. And I had decided that it might not be her. The chance that it was her was only 0000000,1%, or maybe lower. It depends on how many people in the world are named Sofie. I soon brushed that thought off my mind. But the updates from the members bothered my stance. Bit by bit, information was provided in our chats. She was the youngest, probably 13 years old. And it added surety to my conclusion, because Sofie, who I once knew, was the same age as me. But the next thing was bothering me again. She was a Korean Canadian. She was scouted when they auditioned in London, and she was met there. Well, it bothered me so much. But, yeah, that 0000000,1% might be true. It’s not her.

We were having dance practice for a weekly evaluation. Too serious that we didn't realize a bunch of girls were watching us. We stared at them with the applause they gave. Ms.Lee was with them. In a split second, I heard the members whispering and I got that they were the new trainees for the aspiring girl group which would debut the next 3 years after us. I soon observed the crowd. There were around 15 of them, or more. I quickly tried to spot a beautiful being amongst them. But they were all beautiful. And we soon focused on Ms.Lee speaking, saying sorry for bothering us and letting us continue our practice. In a quick manner, they followed her to get out of the room. I didn't see anything like Sofie. I sighed in disappointment. I concluded that it might not be her, but it seemed that deep down in my heart, I did hope it was her.

The day just went by that way. I was exhausted from being in arguments and fighting with my own opinion. After reaching the conclusion, I was so down. I didn't know that the thought about her had affected me that much.

"Zev, Bruno is calling you. He is in the living room." I was lying on my bed enjoying my overthinking. But it shifted my mind real quick.

'Did I do something bad today? Or is it mom sending me something?' I wondered. Being called by Bruno meant something serious happened.

"Thank you hyung". I got up from my bed and walked out of the room to the living room.

"Mr. Park." I bowed my body.

"Hi Zev. Nothing serious. C'mon. Follow me". He let me be at ease. I followed him. We walked to the lift and went down to the 2nd floor where the cafeteria was.

"One of the new trainees requested to meet you. She told me that you are the kind oppa who took care of her when she was in Seoul a few years ago. She wants to meet you. You know her?" I was too stunned to speak. Sofie? Really? Wah… my blood stream rushed to my brain and I couldn't utter any words. I would be very happy if it was really her.

"Zev?" Bruno poked me.

"Ah, yeah Mr. Park?"

"I was asking. You know her?"

"Not sure. I need to check"

"Alright. But she was so determined she knew you. And she was excited when she saw you at the dance practice when they toured around this building. And it's confirmed. She knows your name, your complete name". I couldn't describe my feelings. She remembered me. She even remembered my complete name. So I was not the only one who did things, like couldn't forget someone after a long separation.

We walked to the cafeteria. Well, I guess it was a good time for a night's snack and tea before going to sleep. Or maybe that's the only place we could use to meet. Because as far as I was concerned, we shouldn't meet. Because dating was banned between trainees, boys and girls shouldn't meet for any reason. Maybe because she was new there, and Bruno indeed said that she was determined. And I saw her there with Ms. Lee. They stood up as soon as we got into the large room. She waved her hand and smiled. I was still stunned, and couldn't decide if I should smile or not. She was totally different from the last time we met. One distinct change, she smiled! She made an expression! Well, by asking Ms. Lee for us to meet there, was a big thing to begin with, a huge change for her. She did change!

"Oppa!" Oppa? We're at the same age! I lifted my eyebrows.

"Hi" I soon controlled my expression.

"I am Sofie. Remember?"

"How can I forget? Sofie. But you change a lot. I was wondering if it's really you" The words just shot out of my mouth, I didn't know how. She giggled while serving the bright beams from her eyes. She was totally different!

"I am so happy to see you again. And here?" She gestured her hands while still giggling. Ms. Lee took over the situation.

"You have 30 minutes to talk to Zev. Feel free. Want some snacks or tea? 30 minutes, okay?"

"Alright Ms. Lee" We answered her at the same time.

I gestured my hand to allow her to sit down and I took a seat across from her. I couldn't take my eyes off her. Still trying to figure out if that was real. She was so much more beautiful and organized! Her hair was still short, bob cut, but it looked taken care of well. She dyed it brown. I saw a glimpse of her mom's features in her physical appearance. Her face was perfectly beautiful, her big eyes, pointy nose and full lips with a beautiful shape. She didn't need any corrections on her face, at all! And I got it, just like the members had said, she was hot. For her age, she was perfectly formed. Her height was medium. I had a split second to measure when we stood up. I was relieved that I was taller than her. And her hour-glass body, wait, her upper body was formed beautifully. She was just a teenager!

'God! I think I am falling in love!'

"Oppa…" She poked me.

"Ah, yeah. But wait. Oppa? We're at the same age?"

"Ah, there's a mistake. When I was registered at school, mom made a mistake on my birth certificate. I was supposed to be in the lower class. And when I got back to Canada to live with my grandparents, they corrected my id and birth certificate. I am now 13 years old. Last December was my birthday". I nodded my head. So I found that I was older by one and a half years. My birthday was in June.

“Oh, I see… And should I say this? You changed a lot. I was startled”. She giggled, covering her mouth with her fingers. She even knew how to make such a gesture, gosh! I was so done with her.

“I hope I do oppa. I am glad to hear that from you. I hope that means something better.”

“Yeah, I mean, it’s something good.” And I found it difficult what to say next and did my best not to appear awkward in front of her. I did wanna ask about the change in herself, but I thought that was impolite. While she kept looking at me while smiling, which added to my awkward feeling.

“Oppa, should we eat or drink something? Can we?”

“Oh…yeah, sure, we can. Wait, have you got your dinner?”

“Yes, I had dinner. I want tea and something sweet”. She made a request. And I was a lil bit dumbfounded and soon realized, yes, it was supposed to be me who served something.

“Oh, yeah, sure, wait…” I got up from my seat and walked to the pantry. A staff member was there helping us with our needs. I ordered tea and macaron for both of us. She said she wanted something sweet. After a few minutes, I brought a tray with our order and walked carefully. Serving it on the table.

“I happened to see some macarons there. I hope you like it.”

“I like it, thank you” She said, indeed happily, her eyes were sparkling. For the time around, I didn’t see those somber eyes from years ago. I didn’t know why, I was freakingly happy about that. She sipped her tea and started munching the macaron.

“Well, meeting you here is a big surprise. I mean, how did you come here?” I was curious and tried to ask my questions in a very sensible way so as not to bother her.

“Right? I was surprised too. But I was so happy. I waved my hand at you when you did the dance practice, but maybe you don’t remember my face?”

“Mmm… I think because of that. Look at you, you are very different. I am sorry, I didn’t recognize you” She giggled again. And she didn’t answer my question. I sighed softly so as not to show her. And thinking what’s next? What should I say?

“You will debut in this group, right oppa? I mean, we heard that a boy group will debut next June.”

“Oh? Oh… yeah, we will”. Well, I didn’t plan to. Should I?

“Is it bearable? I mean, people say it’s not easy. Do you enjoy it?”

“Oh well, it’s not easy. True. But I tried to enjoy it. I like music. And I focus on that goal every time it seems hard to chew. You like music?” I hoped she would answer that one.

“Mmm… not really. I just wanna do something” And she stopped at that while continuing munching the macaron. She literally had all of it, because I couldn’t even touch any. I kept sipping my tea to overcome my nervousness.

“Oppa, I'll finish them all” she said while widening her eyes at me. I laughed at that.

“You want more?”

“No, enough, it’s so good that I forgot we were supposed to split it for both of us”. We were giggling for a while.

“Sofie, I am so glad to see you again. If you ever had trouble, you have me. Just like we were years ago, I am ready to help. Okay?”

“Is it a closing statement?”

“I think so. It’s time. They only allowed us for 30 minutes. And here in this place, you need to stick to rules and instructions real sharp.”

“Alright. I am glad I have you here oppa. I’m not gonna be alone.”

“I hope you have a great time. Enjoy it. It’s not easy, but it’s worth it.”

“Thank you”. I saw those somber eyes again in a split second, but I didn’t know how to continue the conversation. I didn’t wanna make Bruno and Ms.Lee be suspicious of both of us. I wanted us to remain a kind oppa and a dongsaeng that I had ever helped in their eyes. I got up from my seat, took the tray to the counter and handed it to the staff. She followed my steps and approached the managers. And we parted ways.