Withering Soul

Debut

The preparation for our debut was extremely tiring. During the 3 months, I didn’t have time to think about other things than album making. I was immensely hyped because finally I was allowed to make my own music. The big picture of the stage was that we were making the music, recording it, preparing a music performance, including dancing and the shooting for the music video. We were called the Griffins, a boygroup which aspired to fly high and strong as eagles. It was an amazing coincidence, the four of us who were once in the same room, Lucky, Jude, Sarang and I made it to the line of the group. And the other three, Bastian, Drew, and Leon. Jude and I were paired as rappers, Lucky, Sarang and Leon as vocals and Bastian and Drew as dancers. All of us actually were able to do all aspects of our abilities, but to make the rules in the group clear, we were divided into 3 divisions. When it came to rap, Jude and I were responsible for making the lyrics and the melody, but most often we led in composing the whole songs. When it came to vocal training, Lucky, Sarang and Leon led us. And when it came to dancing, Bastian and Drew led us. It was a perfect combination. I knew them a bit during the time we were together in the dorm.

Lucky, I didn’t need to say much, he was a leader material. And yes, he was chosen as the leader of the group. He was so much wiser compared to his age, 17 years old. If I could say a boy his age was still busy attending school, playing basketball or football with his gangs, or busy playing games on his PC at home. And oh, one more thing, he was supposed to be busy preparing for the highest level of high school to aim for a major at a university. But there he was, he was a philosophical human being. He had reasons behind some of his words which made us not feel like being commanded. He understood the situation before he said his words. He directed us to our goal. And the most heart-warming thing about him was, he acted like the most mature person amongst us.

And Jude. He was still being himself I knew from 2 years ago. He didn’t change much. He was still ambitious. He placed 2nd in the rank. He was a genius when it came to making music, I have to say. I was lucky being paired with him. His outer appearance might look cold, but he was kind. So far, that’s how I concluded about him, because he never really opened up about his deeper feelings. But he was very professional. He straightforwardly said things when he saw something was not right or not 100% of our performance or our work result. Sometimes, it would make the other party feel down or angry about being scolded by his harsh words. But I knew how to work with him, being professional was enough. It would make our days peaceful. And it made me push myself even more to be better each day. I didn’t wanna place myself lower before him just because he was older than me. Oh yeah, he was the same age as Lucky, 17 years old.

And in 3rd place was me. I wouldn’t say much. Maybe a bit about qualifications. I could do everything well. The least was vocal, maybe that’s why I was placed 3rd. And oh, I was the youngest, and it became a unique qualification of my identity. People would easily spot the youngest amongst the members. Complements like, 'wow, he is so young yet he makes it to debut. He is so talented?' Well yeah, I was still 15 and I made it to stand amongst them without any slight lack. I have to say, it was beneficial. Most often, people will easily remember the most amongst us. The most handsome, the oldest, the youngest, the tallest, and other kinds of ‘most’.

And the 4th was Bastian, the oldest amongst us, 19 years old. I have to say he was born a dancer. He was handsome and tall. He could make any movements into dancing just in one go. He often said the idea, any philosophical meaning behind any dance movements. Together with Drew, they created the movements. He was a dancing genius.

And the 5th was Drew. 18 years old, the most handsome amongst us. Well, all of us were handsome, no need to say, but his features were above any level. His skin was fair, he was the tallest amongst us, his body's proportions were perfect with his long legs and broad shoulders. His facial features were perfect. Well, he was pure Korean, like, none of us would guess that he was. At a first glance, people might have guessed that he might come from abroad, somewhere from the west or middle east. And for that, besides being the lead dancer in the group, he was named the face of the group, the visual. During the 3 months of our preparation, we were featured in a TV program as the future idols of our agency. Just in the first episode, he made a huge number of fans. Instead of being jealous, we had trained ourselves for that. We thanked him, because he was able to attract people to be curious about our group. Well, it was a good start.

And the 6th was Sarang. Not much to say but he was a pure-hearted boy. And a rich boy from Jeju. He was one of us who always took care of his fashion appearance, never did he wear stuff if it was not branded or expensive. And the most expensive one. He appeared to be like a prince.

And the last one, in 7th place, was Leon. He was a Korean-British boy and up till that time he was struggling with speaking Korean. I needed more time to know him more, but I have to say, he was talented, his vocal range was awesome. He could hit high notes effortlessly.

To conclude the Griffin, we were all handsome in our own way. We were talented and ace in each of our specialties. And we were ready to be announced to the public. Right at the end of June, the 30th, we released an album of 10 songs and 3 music videos.

We were called the rookie boy group. A newbie in the field. For a not-so-big company like ours, our debut was admitted as successful. We were the second boy group from the company, the first one had made it 3 years earlier. I could say they were the pioneers of the company. Their road was rough, but they made it. We were second in the line. And as for the girl group, they had 2. The 1st generation had disbanded and continued their solo career. And the second debuted 6 years earlier. And after us, in 3 years, another girl group was going to make their debut. I did hope Sofie would make it in the line.

During our album promotion, we were featured on TV and radio programs, and on some media platforms, we moved to the 5th floor. Our seniors started their new life in each of their places. Some of them got themselves a house or apartment, and some, who initially lived in Seoul, lived with their family. I couldn't wait till such a time came for us. I wanted to go back home or to have my own privacy in my own house.

The facilities on the 5th floor were much better. Each of us occupied one big room complete with features which helped me not to leave my room ever. There was a bed, a closet, a table and a PC, a TV and a mini fridge, a big bathroom, and a spacious empty area I could use for my needs and interests. And I decided to place the collection of my art paintings. After making a partition to separate it into a small room, I put all the stuff needed for painting. If we needed to have a meeting, we had a living room. We could use the pantry to cook and to store staple food in the cupboards and in two giant fridges. Another distinctive feature was a big music studio. We usually went down to the 3rd floor, a music studio, for our group to do stuff. But we had another one in the house, for extra work, about which I was so happy. I might live in the studio room more often than in my own room. And we were extremely busy.

For a while, I forgot that I had another concern as to why I had chosen to stay there, Sofie. I totally forgot. We were busy attending music programs on TV and the radio. And after that, we rehearsed to make our performance better. By that time, we were invited to variety shows on TV channels. And for that, we had to have meetings and rehearsals. We even attended acting class to make our performance look natural. And amongst the busyness, we prepared for our second album. We were back to creating concepts, the music, the lyrics, the dance movements and other aspects to make a whole album release. I was too immersed in the work. I started to see how my dream was realized. The satisfaction I got from creating and releasing my creation to the public and being enjoyed, was beyond words. I felt euphoric and I wanted more. 5 years seemed too short, but I was excited. After 5 years, I would be able to make my own music, embracing the kind of songs I wanted to create and share. I finally saw my own pathway. I didn't realize that I was so ambitious.

Dad and mom complained because they were not able to see me even on holidays. I chose to stay in the studio with Jude. Yeah, we were a perfect pair of colleagues. He had a reason not to leave the dorm. His family was far away in the USA. And I used that excuse. I told dad and mom that I was accompanying him. Just like that. Time flew so fast. We made it to the 3rd album. As was written in the contract, we had to release 5 albums. We were on our way to making the fourth, and at the same time, we were allowed to leave the dorm. I was so excited for 2 reasons; I would finally occupy my own apartment. Dad and mom helped make my own house using the money I earned. I made a typical house apartment for myself, with a huge music studio and another art studio. All of us were excited. And another reason was, Sofie made it in the line to debut with the girl group. It was a 7-member group. I couldn't wait to see how she expressed herself being a celebrity. And of course, after that, I would be able to see her often, even if it's only from the TV screen. It was so complicated to make an excuse to meet her and visit mom? She never did. I never asked mom why, but mom did tell me to ask her to visit mom if she had a day off. Which never happened. I didn't even bump into her since I forgot when.

I finally moved to my own house. An apartment house in one of the expensive buildings in the city. With my own money! I was young and proud. Even though, I have to say, because of that, dad and mom were still supporting me for my fashion and other needs, I used their money, hahaha! Well, they happily did it. Because if it was not for me, who else would they spend their money on? We moved out of the dorm except Jude and Leon. They chose to stay there till the due time we were actually allowed to stay there, till the next boy group debuted. And all of us visited the office if we needed to. Only if we needed to synchronize our work or projects. And any gigs which needed to be done from our place or on site when we had performances or special gigs.