Extreme Prejudice

Chapter 2-1

2

The hammer clicked without firing. I snatched the Colt out of his hand and tackled him to the floor.

“Try chambering a round next time you try shooting someone, dumb ass.” I reached for my handcuffs only to find the loops of my homemade Lasso of Truth. Oh well. When necessary, improvise.

I unsnapped the lasso and lashed Warren’s wrists together behind his back.

“Please don’t do this,” he whimpered. “I never meant to hurt nobody.”

“Like you didn’t mean to shoot me just now?” I applied more pressure on his arm until he yelped in pain.

“I’m…I’m sorry. I just…I panicked.”

“Shut the f**k up, perv.” I yanked him to his feet. “To think you were once my hero. Makes me wanna puke. Or kick the s**t out of you.”

“Just kill me and get it over with,” Warren whined.

“Kill you? Ha! Like I’d throw away my future over filth like you. Au contraire, I want you to spend the rest of your miserable life in some hellhole bent over as someone’s prison bitch.” I’m not a fan of prison r**e, but in his case, I’d make an exception.

I stashed his pistol in my fanny pack and pushed him toward the living room. “Okay, perv. Let’s move.”

“I’m not even dressed.”

“I’m sure the corrections officers in Scottsdale will be happy to hook you up with a fancy orange jumpsuit.”

“It’s cold outside. I’ll freeze to death.”

“Ask me if I care?”

Warren hung his head like a scolded child.

I sighed as my conscience got the best of me. “Fine. You got a coat?”

“In the closet. There’s a pair of loafers in there too.”

I helped him on with the loafers and draped the heavy winter coat over his shoulders. “There. Now let’s go.”

A loud pounding shook the front door. “Security!” said a familiar baritone voice.

“s**t,” I grumbled.

The lock clicked, and in rushed the hulking security guard I’d choked out. Next to him was a smaller, squatter guard with a buzz cut. Both stood with Tasers trained on me.

“Hands up!” they shouted in unison.

I kept my grip on Warren in case he tried to bolt. “Easy, boys. I’m a licensed bail enforcement agent hired to apprehend this scumbag, who failed to appear in court. Now get out of my way, or I’ll charge you both with interference in the apprehension of a fugitive.” It was a made-up charge, but they didn’t know that.

“Get those hands up, or I will light you up, lady,” said Hulk.

“Hey, big guy. I already kicked your a*s once this morning. You want a rematch?”

Buzz Cut peered up at his taller cohort. “She kicked your a*s?”

Hulk’s face screwed up in anger. Hulk’s Taser shot two metal darts into my thick leather costume, but they didn’t penetrate enough to affect me. I smacked them away with the braces covering my forearms.

Hulk tossed his Taser and swung at me. I grabbed his arm and twisted him around into an elbow lock. His buddy got a panicked look in his eye and drew down on me. I used Hulk as a shield. Buzz Cut’s Taser darts hit Hulk in the back. He bellowed as his muscles constricted at once, dropping him to the floor like a felled tree.

I drew Warren’s pistol and aimed it at Buzz Cut. “Drop the Taser!”

“Crap.” Buzz Cut tossed his weapon and held up his hands in surrender.

Hulk groaned but stayed down.

“Now listen up, boys! All I want is to return my prisoner to custody. So if you two are quite done playing Keystone Kops, I’ll be on my way.”

Buzz Cut eyed me warily. Hulk managed to utter a muffled “Cunt.” My work here was done.

“Come on, perv. Let’s take you back to lockup.”