Poison and Wine

THE DAY I RETURN

You must be thinking by the name "the day I return" that its some journal. No, folks, it is not. It's about moving on from the day, my life changed forever. The meaning of love I knew, the love we were taught was all changed for me.

We all wanted a Prince Charming when we were a  kid, why won't we. We were born in the era of princesses and their knight in shining armor. We always thought that a girl is complete only ones she finds her true love, the person she can spend her whole life with. Well, this is what our romantic novels and stories taught us. 

A love that consumes you, a love for which you are ready to cross oceans and fight every single person who comes in between you. 

But is it that what love is? Choosing the other person over you? Taking care of his needs before yours? Giving him the authority to destroy you? 

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It feels so foreign returning back here. I can still feel like someone stabbed me with a knife in my gut. I'm finally returning back after 5years. I'm proud of my self that I could stay away from here, stay away from the place which hurt me in a way no one should feel, stay away from my home. I walk all the way to the place I was dreading to visit. It feels so foreign to be here, standing in front of his building looking at the first-floor window where a lot of memories lingers. Me drinking coffee standing there, him hugging me from behind and kissing me on my cheek. 

I should have gone to my parents' house straight, not to the place which I called my home once, a place which I decorated with the person I thought to be the love of my life the person for whom I lied, defended and fought with everyone. It's been more than 5 years but still, I feel everything, every single f*****g thing he did to destroy me, us, our relationship happened yesterday. 

Tears started to dwell in my eyes and I force myself to not let them come out. I have been strong for so many years and I can't let this place break me. I push my suitcase and walk straight to my parents' house, my house, my only home. I should have stayed and never moved out from here in the first place. I was a child and a person in love who can't think straight hell I was wrong that I can love a person that much that it could change him to be loyal. 

I call Dad from my cell phone to open the gate. I'm happy they haven't discontinued the lock system, it's secure and safe. Seeing the crime rates going in Delhi I'm happy they are not taking their safety as a joke. Dad answers on the first ring and I can sense in his tone that he is excited after all their daughter has come after the 5 years of exile which she put on herself. I see the road and all the memories start flashing back. Oh how much I have missed this place. No matter how many sad memories I hold for this place, it is always going to be near my heart as my home with him is or was. 

Vivaan, my brother opens the door making me come out of my thoughts and hugs me tightly. 

"Mia... I can't believe you are here. Oh how much I have missed you, sissy."

I smile and hug him back, he may be my small brother but in these 5 years he has built up to be taller then me 6'2 I guess and his large buildup just like my father makes him look a little too masculine and big compared to his age. 

"I missed you too, Viv. I missed this place so much" I tear up still hugging him. 

I missed him no matter what I think or say about this place I have missed it. It hurts to be here but still, the air, the weather, the surroundings make me feel like a long lost bird who just came back to her nest. 

He takes my suitcase from me and we start heading upstairs. My parents' house is on the third floor, it's a 2BHK flat with a storeroom and a dining area and is enough big for three people, my brother, mum, and dad. 

As I enter my mother rushes toward me and hugs me, "oh mia, I missed you so much, look how thin you have got." She says while breaking the hug and examining me from head to toe. I think it's a universal fact that all mothers think their kid is becoming thin day by day when he/she doesn't live with them. 

"Maa, I'm fine and thanks for the compliment that I look thin" I laugh a little making her look at me annoying than giving me a cute smile. 

"By the way, where is dad?" I ask looking in the bedrooms. "He is in the kitchen making all your favorite dishes. I haven't seen him this excited since India won the match against Pakistan" She laughs and Vivaan and I join in with her. 

My father is a big cricket fan and the same is Vivaan, I remember when I was here we always used to watch the match together and when the match used to got tense as our life depends on it. I smile thinking about those times, the time when everything was simple, the time before I met the guy who can make any girl wobble in her knees with his one smile. My torment and the love of my life, or I thought he was.