Summer of '07

Follow Request

Chapter 3

January 2019

~TRAVIS~

I wake up the next morning and immediately check my phone for notifications. On the lock screen, I see that I've finally gotten a response from Jenny after I texted her last night to let her know that I wasn't still mad at her, followed by a stupid email from Apple News. Beyond that, I don't see any notifications from i********:, so I decide to open up the app to check the status of my follow request on Elijah's account. Once I've found his profile again, I see that it still says "Requested" on the follow button so I take that to mean that he hasn't confirmed nor denied my request. Usually if it no longer says "Requested" on the follow button and the account is still private that means that the request was denied. So either he hasn't checked i********: yet or hasn't decided whether to allow me access to his profile. It's whatever though. I'm sure some form of action will be done by the end of the day.

    In the meantime, I have to go to work, so thankfully I'll have something to keep my mind away from this ridiculousness. Come to think of it, I honestly can't believe I'm actually stressing over this s**t. This is something that stupid teenagers stress about. Something that only petty people who have nothing better to do with their lives stress about. It's i********: for f**k's sake! So what if he confirmed or denied my request? Big deal! Is it gonna change anything that's currently going on my life?! No! I f*****g knew that I would regret my decision to make the request but yet I did it anyways and here I am stressing about petty bullshit just because I was curious to know whether or not he was still mad at me. I am too old for this s**t!

    When I see Jenny at the office, she tries to apologize to me for the hundredth time but I quickly brush her off to let her know what I ultimately ended up doing.

    "So basically you got mad at me for nothing!" She says, slightly annoyed but not angry.

    "Yeah, I'm sorry about that. I just started thinking more about it after you had left and I figured since he already got the notification, might as well wait to see how he responds to it, ya know?"

    "Oh and what happened to keeping the past in the past?"

    "You know I contradict myself all the time."

    "Yeah, don't I know it."

    "I blame you though... you were the one who started this whole thing."

    She chuckles. "So has he responded to it yet?"

    "No, he hasn't confirmed nor denied my request."

    "Damn. That's not good."

    "Why's that not good?"

    "Well, it's not bad either. It could just mean he either hasn't seen it yet or he isn't sure what to do about it yet. Either way, why are you acting so worried? If he denies you, then that means he still hates you which you've already known for the past twelve years, so where's the problem?"

    "I don't know... I just... wished that he didn't hate me anymore. I know it was my fault for what happened but..."

    "Wait, it was your fault? What did you do?"

    "I don't want to talk about it." For some reason, I still don't feel comfortable telling her after five years of friendship. I honestly don't even know why. I guess I just don't want her to look at me in such a vulnerable way. Maybe some day I'll work up the courage to tell her the full story. Or to tell anyone, for that matter.

    "I understand... but you gotta stop dropping these little hints because you're just piquing my curiosity, asshole!" She says with a laugh.

    "Sorry. I promise, I'll tell you the truth of it all when I'm ready." 

    She then proceeds to hug me before she heads back to her office. I sit in silence for a while, thinking it all through again as I decide to check i********: again to see if there's any news. I see that I've still been left on "Requested." Who knows when that'll change?

    I go the next two days without checking it, finding it to be rather unhealthy for my state of mind. I don't need to be obsessing over something so meaningless. I avoid i********: for a while and try not to think too much of it. A week goes by and when I finally check again, I see that I've still been left on "Requested." Who knows what was up with that? At this point, who cares?

    Once I've ultimately decided to stop giving a f**k about it all, I see that things have suddenly taken a quick turn around. As I'm packing up all of my paperwork from the office, getting ready to go home for the day, I see that my follow request has been accepted. I don't get a follow back, but who really cares about that? I swipe the notification to the right and open up i********: to see Elijah's profile now that he's granted me access.

    I scroll through the ten of the pictures he's posted and see that one of them from July 2017 is from his wedding ceremony, with a #JustMarried hashtag. He's with the same girl from the profile picture. She's a pretty gorgeous young woman with brown hair and bronze skin and according to her tag in the picture, her name is Michelle Hodges. I check her profile from the tag but it's private as well. In her bio however, I see the ring emoji beside Elijah's initials, ER.

    So he's married now. I don't really know how to feel about that. I mean, he seems to be happy with his current life, so good for him! All while I'm over here living my life at the boringest rate possible. I go to work 40 hours a week, I'm still not married at 29 nor am I currently dating anyone, and I'm still thinking about my former best friend from high school who probably doesn't even remember who the f**k I am. It's such a wonderful life! 

    Most of that was sarcasm by the way. I'm sure he remembers exactly who I am. The s**t that went down between us would have been way too hard for anyone to completely erase from their mind. I just mean that I'm sure he hasn't thought about me in years given the fact that he's married and has started a new life for himself. Makes me kinda sad actually.

    Well, now that I've started following his profile, I don't exactly know where to go from here. I mean, I guess the whole point of doing it was to see how he responded to it and since he allowed me to follow him, I guess that means he may or may not still harbor hard feelings for me? Who knows really? This whole idea was just so petty and I didn't realize what little effect it had on anything until now. Oh well, now that I've seen my little experiment serve no effect at all, I guess I can just unfollow him now since I don't want to see his s**t cloud up my feed. I don't care if he's living it up with his so-called wife while I'm over here miserable with my life. f**k that! I'm just about to hit the unfollow button, until I see that he has suddenly started following me back. Um, why?

    After I see that I don't really know what to do. Should I unfollow him anyways and be kind of a douche? Or just leave it? Damn it, I don't actually want to see his s**t in my feed though and be reminded of him every time I check i********:. I—

    My thoughts are suddenly distracted by a message I've just now received from my inbox. I roll my eyes and wonder who the f**k is bugging me now? Usually, it's either some trolls asking for nudes or annoying-ass bot accounts. To my surprise however, it's Elijah himself. My heart starts pounding and I very cautiously open up the message. I see two words and I'm instantly hit with a wave of confusion. According to our last conversation, he never wanted to have anything to do with me ever again and yet here he is, initiating a friendly conversation with, "hey man."

    I sit for a long while pondering what the f**k I should say to him. I even begin to question if this even is Elijah on the other end or someone else with his login information, as if that was actually a logical explanation. Why the f**k wouldn't it be him? 

    Me: Hey. 

    I reply, rather ambiguously. 

    Him: how've you been?

    Me: Good. I just turned 30 not too long ago. U?

    Him: pretty good. i'm still 29 til june haha

    As if I didn't remember his birthday. June 18, 1989. Is it sad that I still remember that?

    Me: Oh yeah, June 18th, right?

    Him: good memory.

    That's not the only thing I remember.

    Me: So what's up? Why'd you message me?

    Yeah, that was probably a d**k thing to ask, but I really want to know, considering...

    Him: yeah, i know its kinda weird, me messaging you and all after all that s**t went down

    But? I'm sensing a "but" because that sentence sounds rather incomplete without it, if you ask me.

    Me: But?

    Him: do u maybe wanna talk about it sometime?

    Me: Like in person?

    Him: yea

    Not really. I mean, what's the point? Is he gonna try to apologize to me for what he did? At this point that sounds kinda petty. But then again, it could provide me with some closure so I'm not constantly reflecting on my friendship with him with such pain and misery. 

    Me: Is that a good idea?

    Him: its up to u man. i just thought we could talk and catch up. i totally understand if you don't want to tho, i f****d up big time and i can understand if u never wanna see me again

    Me: Well when u put it like that... sure, I guess

    Him: bury the hatchet, ya know?

    Me: Yeah, I gotcha. I'm down.

    Wait, though, does he even still live in California? Let alone, San Francisco?

    Me: Wait, do u still live in Vacaville?

    Him: no. sacramento. are u still there?

    Me: Roughly. I live in Daly City now.

    Him: oh that's like an hour and a half a way from me. wanna meet in vacaville?

    He sounds oddly enthusiastic about this. Wonder what changed?

    Me: Sure.

    Him: ight, ill text u where to meet when i find a place

    Me: Sounds like a plan

    Once our conversation has ended, I shut off my phone and think about the conversation I just had. Am I being catfished or is Elijah actually feeling remorseful over our falling out? Has he actually matured and found a way to get over it all? I guess I'll find out when I drive out to Vacaville to meet him. 

    I toss my phone onto the coffee table and it lands right beside my photo album that I still haven't replaced back on the shelves. I open it up to the pages from 2004 onwards and I remember how my friendship with Elijah all began. I remember how much of a little cunt he was back then. He ended up being a cunt in the end too, unfortunately. But, of course, the only way to properly tell a story is from start to finish. And it all began during the summer of 2004.