I Wish

Why?

My mind muttered this is the perfect chance to confess.

" But what if she says no? Our friendship will also be ruined because of me. Let's not think about this, she is my friend. She can understand me better than anyone else. She won't cut off our friendship because of this. Hope for the best, you i***t " . I walked toward her. I stopped when I realize I hadn't got permission from the librarian to enter the library as she was shouting at me for that.

"Hei you"

"Yes mam", giving a pale smile

"Did you ask my permission to get in??" She asked

I just lowered my face

"Fine, get in any way."

I went in without looking at her face and went straight to one of the shelves there. The shelves are along the walls of the library. Long and tall shelves in front of the wall on three sides of the room. The side without shelves was where the librarian's table was kept. I walked towards the shelf where Sreya was standing. She was standing in front of the shelf which had maths questions and guides. It was on the third shelf on the right side of the library, and it was also behind a pillar. If something happens there, it's hard for the librarian to notice.

I thought again, "It's my chance".

As the distance between us shortened, my heartbeat increased. The only thought that I had was how could I face her if something negative happened. I didn't even realize that I had reached Sreya while thinking about it.

"What are you looking for?" I asked her. To start a conversation, like I thought she was just giving a deaf ear. I don't know if it was anger or sorrow flowing inside my mind and heart.

" Sreya , I am asking you"

I asked in a mixture of sorrow and an angry way.

"Leave me alone, Aadi."

"Do you even think I will ever leave you alone?"

"I don't know about that, but leave me alone now for God's sake."

"Just hear me Sreya."

"I don't want to. "

"How can you even act like I don't even exist nowadays?"

"If you don't leave now, I will leave."

" I am asking you something. Wouldn't you reply to that?"

"I won't, as I don't want to."

" Just leave me alone, Aadi. I beg you, please leave me alone. "

It was at that time I realized that I was taking some other student's attention. I went out of the library with a bleeding heart. What was I there for and what did I do? I thought. I messed up everything. Now nothing is going to be like the olden times. But don't I have the right to know what happened? She was everything to me. In fact, she is. Even my mom knows how much I love her. She has been to my home so many times and my mom loves her a lot. I also have been to her home and I guess her mom and dad love me like their own son. But I haven't seen them since the Christmas celebration. Is there a connection to these incidents? I haven't seen them for a month, and she hasn't talked to me for a month. As I was a usual visitor to her house and she was to mine. Something had happened during the Christmas holidays.