OPPOSITE REFLECTION

Same old jane

"Ouch! You are hurting me", i lament bitterly and she releases my hand limply. Actually i was lying, Jane does not have the hands that can hurt anyone.

Soft life.

"I want you to talk with mum so that she can tell you where my baby went, she is the only one who can help me because i believe she organised all this"

"And that is not possible, am sure you already know. Mum can no longer recall anything and two am not the one who will hurt her emotions"

"I know but with you she can, all this years of memory loss and yet she remembered me. I want you to jog her mind, am sure you have been talking to each other and she trusts you"

She is damn serious and it makes me remember the tears she cried every night clutching a pillow, with painful breasts, and a piece of cloth to control milk from spilling. It's like the pillow gave her the satisfaction of having her baby in her arms. It was a distraught scene. Those days i wished i could give her back her child, after some months she started recovering.

I thought she would forget, factly i don't know where her baby went but i think i can help her. After all that's what sisters do for each other.

"I will try but i can't promise much, you know how mum felt about you being pregnant", i tell her

"Time changes things, do it now"

I look at her with a hanging jaw. She is rushing things. She has just come, wants mum taken away then she wants her baby, i hate speeds.

"If you need any favour from me, whatsoever, don't order me around, right?"

She wants to sneer but she aborts the idea altogether. Maybe she remembers that am her only saviour. She knows so well that mum cannot reveal such information to her.

I walk out to the kitchen, i hear her footsteps edging closer to me and am sure she won't allow me get any peace of mind until she gets what she wants.

Am yet to do shopping, my last months salary was consumed by some of my mum's medication and fuel the car. Sometimes mum can fall sick in the middle of the night and the car comes handy. In other words am going to prepare a simple meal.

"So what are you planning to cook for me?", she asks sitting on the kitchen island

"Rice and beans"

"I can't eat beans", she remarks in a familiar tone.

Jane was very choosy when it came to the food she ate, she would go hungry because we cooked food she didn't like. Mum would pity her and give her an alternative. I never dared try that. Here she is complaining as she used to.

"That's all we have, if you won't eat too bad but mum and i know how to survive in times of plenty and times of want", i state with finality as i chop the onions

I can sense her eyes boring on my back but i ignore, after all she has nothing to do.

"Your face is wrinkled", she announces and that definitely breaks my heart.

I know am growing old, thirty three is so many years for an unmarried virgin girl like me, so it's true the wrinkles i saw were not mirror's creation. My sister too is the same age but she looks like a hot teenager. Despite all that she can't just blurt out the truth without caring about my feelings.

"Am old", i tell her feigning a smile hoping the discussion does not go beyond there.

"I thought you would get married before i came back with around three kids", she continues to hurt me and as far as it pains me, i cannot allow her ego hurt me, like it did the past.

"I thought so too, am also wondering why you never came back with a white man", i hit back

She exhales.

"It's not easy to get a man ready to settle down especially a white man, i even got a one year married contract some years ago", her tone changes and i look at her, her desperate eyes holding mine.

"So you tried?"

"Yes but realized East or West home is the best"

I smile despite myself, i now know her weak point.

"You will find him here, you once had a man and you can still get another one", am intentionally referring to the man who drove my sister crazy, she never even told us who he was, the father of the baby that is and to date am so curious.

"At least i know how to look for one, unlike you", she answers with a cold eyes

"Am this way by choice Jane, i do not go chasing men to love me. I know how to choose the one who suits me"

"I do know about Dave"

For a fleeting moment i get lost, the mention of Dave always makes the earth stop on it's axis. Dave might have been poor but he had this charming look that made my heart leap violently. I still value and cherish him, my dear Dave.

"Which Dave?", i ask feigning surprise

"Mom told me so stop acting"

"When?", i ask now eyes popping, how can mum recall that. Why does her memory revolve around things we did and hurt her.

"A few minutes ago, she was crying saying you were already losing direction in life"

"Mmm! so nice to discuss me behind my back, to her i was losing direction but i think am lost more now", i mean every syllable, i feel lost

"I can help you", she interjects in a serious tone

"Help me? How?", i ask stopping whatever am doing and looking at her.

"I scratch your back and you scratch mine"

"Expound"

"Mum to give you information about the whereabouts of my baby and i assist you get back the love of your life"

I don't trust Jane but i can do anything to bring David back, into my heart where he belongs. The thought itself makes my heart beat in frenzy.

"Deal", i tell her without thinking twice, am that desperate.

I start cooking. I see her lips curl into a smile and i hope she is not being cheeky and messy as she has always been.