Nabi

Redemption

April 25, 2018

Three months later

The air was crisp, but not too cold. The warmth of the sun had not yet over powered the slightly chilly evening breeze. I’m enjoying the fresh air in my wine stained colored heavy winter coat. The trees to my right are getting ready to put on a full display of blossoms and new leaves soon after the first rainfall. It’s a sign that spring is here which is in fact the perfect weather for me.

It’s my second break of the day, the day wasn’t too hectic. You’re typical spills on the floors, someone’s choking on a hot dog, and a brawl of men fighting over who’s Baseball team is better and will make it to champions. I love it here, though all of that is going on I still feel I have some independency since I’m one of the leads now. I got promoted last month, all the over time surely paid off for me.

I'm sitting in the stadium taking in the scenery of my colleagues sweeping, and collecting trash from the first game we had today.

My phone’s timer goes off which lets me know I can finally dig into my spicy noodles. Though I can barley stomach noodles due to anxiousness I need to have something in my system before I carry on the rest of my shift this evening. I applied to transfer to a college in South Korea to pursue in my Artist career. I’ve been drawing ever since I learned how to say my first words da da. It’s always been a passion of mine.

My grandmother on my mother’s side of the family used to be an illustrator for children’s book in Sunwon, South Korea. The children out there loved her books, sometimes the little ones would just look at her pictures all day instead of reading. I strongly believe I took after her since my mother was more of a teacher and my father is more into cars, or anything with an engine.

I grab ahold of my wooden chopsticks, cracking them in half to separate my utensil. I begin mixing in my noodles with the spicy package seasoning. I love when you can see the steam rising from the noodles, that’s how you know it’s hot and fresh. Noodles are such an amazing universal food, they are good in so many ways. Hot, cold, and no matter the sauce.

My mouth puckers to cool them off, I can’t have double the heat over powering me. After blowing repeatedly I finally slurped my whole strand of tan goodness in one go.

The taste? Incredible. The heat? Tolerable.

It’s as if my taste buds entered another dimension of spice and flavors. My phone vibrates again, it’s the moment I’ve been waiting for. I read the small notification ‘Important Notice to Nabina Choi from Seoul University’.

I almost choke on my second bite. I’m a hundred percent made up of nervousness at this very moment. This can either make or break me. I really want to have my second chance at life with no regrets this time around. I push the notification at the top of my cell before it disappears. I begin reading the the first sentence, and your girl got accepted.

“Oh my gosh, I got accepted!”

I screamed so loud that I made the birds leave the stadium lights above me and a few workers look at me funny. An overwhelming amount of emotions poured on me all at once like a wrecking ball. I feel warm beads of determined tears rolling down my cold cheeks.

"Mom we did it, we are going to Korea." Once that first year shedded, the rest poured like a stream. I collect my thoughts, wiping my tears wanting to hear my beautiful mother’s voice again.

I went to the voicemail section on my cell and began to listen to her soothing voice.

‘Hey sweetie, I'm sorry I know you're probably asleep right now, but I just wanted to let you know that I love you with all my heart...’

On September 12th 2014, my dear mother took her own life. That was the last day where I felt my whole world had stopped spinning. That was the day I lost who I was as a person, as a friend, as a daughter.

My father said he found her at the bottom of the canyon near our home the next morning.

Before she committed, he thought that cheating on her was the better option instead of fixing their marriage. He was selfish and self centered. My father felt the spark wasn't there anymore between the two of them, so he cheated on her with her best friend Songya of twenty years. He even got the b***h pregnant too.

You'd think twenty years of friendship, nothing can ever break that bond. Wrong. That just shows that this world is full of crooked snakes that will smile in your face calling you best friend. I'll never look at that wench the same anymore. The goes for my father, who in fact thought it was a wonderful idea to marry her a month after my mother's death. Woohoo! Dad of the year goes to. Not mine.

Something about Songya’s presence irks me more than it should. The way she eats, talks, looks, hell even the way she breathes. She'll never be my mother no matter how hard she tries. She wanted to portray that mother role so bad when it was towards the end of my high school year. Knowing who I was back then I gave her pure hell and I know for a fact she felt my wrath.

She's lucky I'm around, it’s only because of Aden. My younger brother, he’s turning five soon. I love him so much. I never want him to know the truth for now while he's young. On the plus side he says I'm his favorite big sister, sorry Yeonji but I have to agree with him on that one.

My break is now coming to an end and I haven’t even finished my spicy noodles. I set my phone down squealing a few times and stuffed my mouth before heading back.

October 8,2018

Four months later

"Attention staff, NST is currently in Chicago. They group is schedule to arrive tomorrow for practice. The concert will be the following day. I expect everyone to be working accordingly, listening to whatever your assigned manager tells you." The boss Yeonji speaks casually holding up a loud speaker so we can all hear her through the intercom.

She's standing in the middle of the field while all the staff members are on the bleachers. She lowers the speaker, then brings it back up to her face "For those of you who decide you can't do this or it’ll be too stressful you can leave now and not come back." Yeonji begins to look around at everyone. "Tomorrow, for those of you who want to meet NST before their practice. The company and the boys are willing to put aside an hour to meet their fans that are working tomorrow.”

“Also make sure you eat a big breakfast beforehand because I will need everyone to work mandatory overtime. This will be the busiest shift of your life. These men are superstars here. These fans are committed, please don't upset the fandom or NST.” She starts walking more towards everyone. “With that being said let's keep things organized. We want them to remember their first stadium concert in the states, okay?" She finishes, walking off to her office.

Everyone around me groans and moans meanwhile I'm sitting here so excited I can literally s**t myself. A few of the girls are excited to see them just as much as I am. There will probably be about thirty of us, having that a chance to do a small meet and greet with the boys tomorrow.

Maybe just maybe they will remember me.

The Next Day

I groaned when the first beam of sunlight hit my face as I was cradling a pillow to my chest. Usually, waking up early was a simple task for me since I was a morning person.mMy hair is mostly f****d up, and I'm sure I have drool on my pillow. My eyes finally adjust to the light as I begin to stretched wide. Legit, all my joints are rusted as they begin to crack all over.

My internal age is 60.

"Oh man, today is the day.” I turn over then looked up and I see my poster feeling overly thrilled. I jump out of bed and I place my thumb and index finger under Gen’s chin “Hello my name is Gen!”

Remembering how adorable he was during that interview last night with Hellen Cullen.

After being a complete fan girl. I'm getting my work clothes out, laying them across my bed. I'm so excited that all you hear is a mixture of squeals and non audible sounds coming from me.

Before heading to my bathroom to shower I connect my phone to my beats going straight to Spotify listening to their newest album 'Happiness’

The first track starts off so wonderfully. The melody is low and then when the first beat hits it's amazing, it's as if Guk is telling you a story of love and pure happiness. The sound of his voice is so euphoric and breathtaking that it is easily one of my favorite songs from this album.

The songs continue and I'm having a full concert in my shower. In the mist of shampooing my hair. I think about what I want to say to them knowing I only have a minute with each member to myself. I finish my shower and go to stand in front of my mirror and wipe the steam off the mirror so I can see myself while I begin to do my daily skin care routine.

While waiting for my mask to set. I can't help but scroll through Twitter to see what's trending or if the boys posted anything. Yoon posted a cute selfie of him with Chicago hashtags. I heart reacted then retweeted. Then I decided see what's trending. One thing about being famous is there’s always a dark side of the internet to which unfortunately one of the members seems to have a lot of attention on that side.

My eyes stop scrolling, as I take in all the hateful, and toxic lies people pull out of their asses about him. I make an appreciation post tagging all of them the lightly tossed my phone on my bed.

I look back to the mirror, scrubbing the mask solution off my face. I paused for a moment absorbing my features thinking of Chi and people calling him names and degrading him. "I know exactly what to tell them when I see them" I mumbled to myself as I continue getting ready for my big day.