chapter two
1062 Words
Anna's Pov
The burnt toast smell filled the whole kitchen.
I stared at the black bread sitting on the plate and knew Trevor was going to be mad. I should have been paying attention but my mind was somewhere else. I kept thinking about the pregnancy test hidden in my purse. The two pink lines that changed everything.
"What is this?" Trevor walked into the kitchen already dressed in his suit.
"Toast. I burned it a little. I'll make more."
He picked up the toast and looked at it. Then he threw it across the room. It hit the wall and broke into pieces.
"A little?" His voice was cold. "This is garbage Anna. You can't even make toast right."
"I'm sorry. I wasn't paying attention."
"That's your problem. You never pay attention." He moved closer to me. "I work twelve hour days to give you this life. The least you can do is make decent breakfast."
My hands started shaking. "It's just toast Trevor."
His hand came out of nowhere. The slap was so loud it echoed off the kitchen walls. My face exploded with pain. I stumbled back and caught myself on the counter.
We both froze.
His hand was still in the air. My cheek was burning. Neither of us moved.
"Anna," he said. His voice changed completely. "I didn't mean to do that."
I touched my face. It felt hot under my fingers.
"You hit me," I whispered.
"I know. I know." He came toward me but I backed away. "Anna please. I'm under so much stress at work. The board is on me about the merger. I haven't slept in three days. I just snapped."
"You hit me over toast."
"I know it's not an excuse. I know." He reached for me again. This time I let him. "It won't happen again. I swear it won't happen again."
He pulled me into his arms and I started crying. He apologized over and over into my hair. He held me tight like he was afraid I would run.
"I'm so sorry," he kept saying. "I'm so sorry baby."
I wanted to push him away. I wanted to tell him to never touch me again. But I also wanted him to hold me. I wanted to believe it was a one time thing. I wanted to believe the stress excuse.
So I stayed in his arms and cried.
"I'll do better," he said. "I promise I'll do better."
Three weeks later he hit me again. I bought the wrong coffee brand.
"This isn't the one I like," he said looking at the can.
"I know. They were out of your brand so I got this one instead."
"So you just decided to get something else without asking me first?"
"Trevor it's just coffee."
His fist connected with my shoulder. The punch knocked me sideways. I grabbed the counter to keep from falling.
"Don't talk back to me," he said. His face was red. "When I tell you what I want you get exactly that. Not something close. Not something you think is good enough. Exactly what I want."
I couldn't breathe. My shoulder throbbed where he hit me.
"Do you understand?" he asked.
"Yes," I whispered.
"Good." He grabbed his briefcase and walked toward the door. "I'll be home late tonight. Have dinner ready by eight."
The door slammed behind him.
I stood in the kitchen holding my shoulder and trying not to cry. This was the second time. The second time meant it wasn't an accident. The second time meant this was who he really was.
I should have left right then. I should have packed my stuff and gone to Samantha's apartment. But I didn't. I just stood there until the pain in my shoulder got dull.
Then I went to the store and bought his coffee brand.
The third time he hit me was because I wore red lipstick. The fourth time was because I didn't answer his call fast enough. The fifth time was because dinner was cold.
After that I stopped counting.
Six months into the abuse Samantha made me meet her for lunch.
"Anna we need to talk," she said as soon as I sat down.
"About what?"
"About what's happening with you and Trevor." She leaned forward. "You need to leave him."
"It's not that simple."
"Yes it is. You pack your stuff and you leave. I'll help you."
I looked down at my coffee cup. "He's just under a lot of stress right now. Work is hard."
"Stop making excuses for him Anna."
"I'm not making excuses."
"You are. You've been doing it since this started." Her voice got tight. "He's stressed. He had a bad day. He didn't mean it. Those are all excuses."
"You don't understand. When things are good they're really good. He loves me."
"Love isn't supposed to hurt."
"Easy for you to say. You've never even been in a serious relationship."
She pulled back like I slapped her. "That's not fair."
"Neither is you judging me when you don't know what it's like."
We ate the rest of lunch without talking. When we said goodbye there was distance between us that wasn't there before.
But her words stayed in my head. Maybe she was right. Maybe I needed to really talk to Trevor about his behavior.
That night after dinner I took a deep breath.
"Trevor can we talk?"
He looked up from his phone. "About what?"
"About us. About how things have been lately."
His whole face changed. "What about it?"
"The fighting. The anger." I made myself keep going. "The hitting. I need you to stop."
He was quiet for a minute. Then he stood up and walked to the window.
"You think I like being this way?" he asked. "You think I want to get angry?"
"I don't know."
"I don't." He turned around. "But you push me Anna. You make me so angry I can't control myself."
"So it's my fault?"
"I'm saying we both need to work on things." He came back and sat next to me. "I'll try to control my temper better. But you need to try too. Stop messing things up. Stop arguing with me. Just do what I ask without making it difficult. Deal?"
It wasn't the apology I wanted. But it was something.
"Deal," I said.
- Writer
