chapter three
1166 Words
Anna's Pov
I hadn't left the penthouse in two weeks.
Trevor said I didn't need to. He brought home groceries. He picked up anything I needed. He said I should rest because I looked tired all the time.
The truth was I was afraid to leave. Afraid I would do something wrong. Buy the wrong thing. Say the wrong thing. Wear the wrong thing. It was easier to just stay inside where I couldn't mess up.
"You're getting too thin," Trevor said one morning. He was looking at me like I was a problem he needed to solve. "People are going to think I'm not taking care of you."
I looked down at the eggs on my plate. I couldn't remember the last time I actually felt hungry.
"I'm fine," I said.
"You're not fine. You're depressed." He said it like an accusation. "What do you have to be depressed about? You live in a penthouse. You don't have to work. I give you everything."
"I know."
"Then why are you moping around like your life is so terrible?"
Because it is, I wanted to scream. Because you've turned me into someone I don't recognize. Because I'm trapped.
But I just said, "I don't know. I'm sorry."
He went back to eating his breakfast. "Maybe you should see a therapist. Get your head sorted out."
The idea of telling a stranger about my life made my stomach hurt. What would I even say? My boyfriend hits me and messes with my mind and I'm too scared to leave?
"Maybe," I said.
But I knew I would never go.
That afternoon someone knocked on the door. I looked through the peephole and saw Samantha standing there.
My heart started racing. I hadn't talked to her in three weeks. I stopped answering her calls because I didn't know what to say anymore.
"Anna I know you're in there," she called through the door. "Open up."
I unlocked the door slowly.
"You can't ignore me forever," she said pushing past me into the apartment. "We need to talk."
"I wasn't ignoring you. I've just been busy."
"Busy doing what? You don't work. You barely leave this place." She turned to look at me and her face changed. "Oh Anna."
"What?"
"When's the last time you showered? Or changed your clothes?"
I looked down at myself. I was wearing the same sweatpants I'd worn for three days. My hair was greasy. I couldn't remember my last shower.
"I've been tired," I said.
"You're depressed. And it's because of him." She grabbed my shoulders. "You need to leave. Today. Right now. Pack a bag and come stay with me."
"I can't just leave Samantha."
"Why not?"
"Because he needs me."
"He doesn't need you Anna. He's using you." Her voice cracked. "Please. I can't watch you disappear like this."
Something in me broke. I started crying. Really crying for the first time in months.
"What if I can't do better?" I said through the tears. "What if this is all I deserve?"
"Don't say that. Don't ever say that." She pulled me into a hug. "You deserve so much more than this. You just can't see it right now."
I cried into her shoulder. She held me tight and didn't let go.
"Talk to him," she said when I finally stopped crying. "Tell him you're leaving. I'll be right here with you."
"He won't let me go that easily."
"Then we'll get the police involved. We'll do whatever it takes." She wiped my tears with her thumbs. "But you have to try. You have to at least try to get out."
That night when Trevor came home I made myself say the words.
"We need to talk," I said.
He was pouring himself whiskey. "About what?"
"About us. About this relationship." My voice shook. "About how unhappy I am."
He took a slow sip. "Unhappy?"
"Yes. I can't keep living like this Trevor. I can't keep walking on eggshells. I can't keep questioning everything. I can't keep being this miserable."
"So what are you saying?"
"I'm saying either you get help for your behavior or I'm leaving."
He set his glass down carefully. Too carefully.
"You're threatening me?" he asked.
"I'm not threatening. I'm telling you the truth."
"After everything I've done for you." His voice got quiet and cold. "After I took you in when you had nothing. This is how you repay me? By threatening to leave?"
"I'm not trying to be ungrateful. I just need you to understand."
"I understand perfectly." He moved closer. "You're being selfish. You're only thinking about yourself."
"Trevor please."
"Do you have any idea what my life is like? The pressure I'm under? The stress?" He was right in front of me now. "Everything I do is for us. For our future. And you want to throw that away because you're having some kind of breakdown?"
"This isn't a breakdown. This is me trying to save myself."
He reached out and touched my face. Gentle. Almost loving. It was scarier than when he was angry.
"You don't need to save yourself baby," he said softly. "You just need to trust me. Can you do that?"
I wanted to say no. I wanted to pull away and run. But his eyes looked soft and his voice sounded sweet and for a second he looked like the man I met at that conference.
"I don't know," I whispered.
"Here's what's going to happen." His thumb traced my cheek. "You're going to stop listening to Samantha. She doesn't understand us. She doesn't understand what we have."
"Trevor."
"And I'm going to do better. I'm going to show you how much I love you." He leaned closer. "Okay?"
Every part of me screamed to say no. But I heard myself say, "Okay."
He kissed my forehead. "Good girl."
The next day he came home with flowers and a small box.
"For you," he said.
Inside the box was a diamond necklace. It looked expensive. Really expensive.
"Trevor this is too much."
"Nothing is too much for you." He took it out and put it around my neck. "You're my whole world Anna. I want you to know that."
"Thank you."
"And I've been thinking about what you said. About needing change." He took my hands. "What if we got married?"
My heart stopped. "What?"
"Married." He smiled. "I know I haven't been perfect. I know I've put you through a lot. But if we make this official I'll be better. I'll be the man you deserve."
"Trevor I don't know if marriage is the answer."
"It is. I promise you it is." He squeezed my hands. "Once we're married everything will be different. We'll be a real team. A real partnership."
"Can I think about it?"
"Of course. Take all the time you need." He kissed me. "I love you."
I kept my eyes closed and didn't answer.
Because if I opened my mouth I might scream.
- Writer
