Losing myself from loving you

Chapter 1

Alayna Amir

Here I am standing outside of his mansion with tears drenching my face. I don't want to turn around to see if he is coming, I would breakdown right here if he did.

The memories I got from here were bittersweet. For him, it might be a nightmare, but for me, it was magical. It was the fragrance of my first love, the sweetness of my first kiss, and those butterflies in my stomach I used to feel around him. Those laughs we shared—everything was flashing in front of my eyes. I thought I could win his love, but I failed terribly.

I got inside the Texi. Tears were continuously falling from my eyes.

I have to close the chapter and move on...

But.. can I really move on?

1 year back

Man.. you're so handsome. I'm curious how you'd look in person. I was looking at his picture. Allah has made this fine piece to look at in awe.

"Alayna, come and have your dinner." My mom called me Well, enough staring at his picture for now. I put my phone down and went to the kitchen. There I found my mother (Saleha begum) working in the kitchen. "Sorry mom, I lost track of the time." I sat in my seat. "Yeah, she was losttt in someone." My stupid brother Adil said I hit him on his feet under the table. "Oww.. mommm, look what this monkey is doing." "You deserve it." I grinned.

"Ok, okay, enough for today now start eating." My dad, (Hameed Amir) said this while coming downstairs. "And Alayna dear, you know you should stop being a creep." My dad and Adil laughed. "Dad, you too with this monkey." I huffed. "Alayna, my dear, I'm always on your side, but you know you are being creepy." And they both burst out laughing again. Well, everyone knows about my little crush. But they don't know it's not a little crush.

"Don't tease my daughter. She can have a little crush as long as you don't act haram upon it." Mom said, and creased my head. "I know, mom." I grinned, looking at her, then turned towards Dad and Adil, showing them my tongue.

Soon we finished our dinner. I got to my room, changed my clothes, and headed towards my bed. I took my phone and started scrolling through posts, and it was filled with him.

The one and only Zayaan Khan Damn, look at this man! Not only is he good-looking, but he is kind too. I have rarely seen a billionaire be this kind. He has done many acts of charity and helped people in need. How he patiently behaves with everyone. I have seen many youngsters want to become like him. When he was at a charity function, so many children adored him. How can you not like a person like him? He has every quality that a girl could ever want. And I have also seen in many blogs how he is religious. I have never seen him with a girl. Even when I see pictures of him with a girl, he keeps his distance from them. The respect I have for this man..

His eyes remind me of the ocean. Because they are ocean blue. Is it possible for someone to have these beautiful eyes?

His behavior and motion are calm, like an ocean at night.

But he was too calm. Whenever I look into his eyes, they look empty. There are no emotions. I have never seen him truly laugh. I have seen his smile in pictures and videos, but that looks fake. He wasn't smiling from the heart. You know when someone isn't smiling from the heart.

When people say eyes can tell many stories, I believe them. I believe his eyes also have their own stories.

We all know that an ocean can never be calm forever.

With thoughts of him, I don't know when I feel asleep.

I woke up hearing my alarm. I opened my eyes and let my brain process. Ahh, what a dream I had! Damn, I'm so happy. Today is going to be a great day. I got up from bed, freshened up real quick, and went downstairs.

"Mom Let me help you with that." I saw my mom carrying plates. I set the plates on the table. Everyone came, and we started to eat.

"I have a very important meeting with a very special person today." Dad suddenly said it excitedly. Now when my dad gets excited for a meeting, you know it's special. "Who is this special person?" Mom asked Dad, being curious. Well, I'm curious too. "Mr. Zayaan Ahmed." The toast I was eating dropped from my hand when I heard his name. While dad looked at me and grinned.

"Wahh really?!" Mom said it sounds unbelievably While I'm in shock. "It looks like someone got an electric shock." Adil said he was teasing me. "Alayna, Are you okay?" Dad asked.

Zayaan o my godd Zayaan is coming to dad's office. I simply can't believe that. I was dying to catch a glimpse of him. I know I don't have a crush on him. It's not a crush. I freaking love him. I love him so much. I've loved him for four years now. I prayed so much for him. I had the hope that Allah would make him mine if he was in my destiny. And I didn't lose hope. I prayed and prayed to be with him. It sounds silly, but it's true.

"Dad, can I come with you, please?" I said I was showing my puppy eyes. I just want a glimpse of him. That would be enough to make me live in hope. "Alayna baby, you know I can't take you to the meeting. It's a very important meeting. I know you want to see him so bad, but please try to understand that I'm sorry." Dad said it with a soft voice and an apologetic face. I know I should act like a mature one, I don't want to make dad guilty. "It's ok, dad. I know it must be very important to you. I can see him in another way, I guess.." I said it with a smile.

"My daughter became so mature." Mom said that and kissed my head. "Yeah, she is grown up now." Dad said this with a soft smile lingering on his face. I smiled back. "Alayna, aren't you going to college, dear?" Mom asked. "Alayna, aren't you going to college, dear?" Mom asked. "No, mom, actually there is a welcome party for freshmen at night, that's why college is off today, and in the evening there is going to be a welcome party." I'm so excited for the party. I heard there is going to be a chef guest to welcome freshmen, congratulate us because we are seniors now, and also give us some advice, But who is coming? I have to ask my friends.

"Enjoy the party, Alayna." Dad said this while getting up from his chair. "Thanks dad." "Saleha darling, I'm leaving for the office now." Dad said this to Mom and kissed her cheek.

I really love how my parents love each other so much. I really want to have a love life like theirs. They had their own struggles throughout the marriage. But Allah gave them the patience and peace to shape their marriage into this beautiful bond. They had many ups and downs, but they didn't leave each other's side. I love them so much.