Confessions of a Modern U’Makoti(BWWM)

Confession #15

Confession #15

“We’re not very good at this are we?” I asked Dimpho who still waltz up and down her cubical deciding on the prefect proposal.

Since that terrible day when we bought the ring. This had been my lunch routine. The first few ideas were bland and played out. In a romantic restaurant seemed to be too heterosexual and lazy for Dimpho. In their house with a candle lit dinner was something we both knew Nadia would hate. On a romantic spa retreat would only make Nadia feel bad if she rejected the proposal – which was highly unlikely seeing as she collected bridal magazine since high school.

“How about where we had our first date?” Dimpho suggested.

It was a good idea, but they had their first date during a festival that only occurred once a year. And the festival was two months prior to Dimpho’s need to pop the question. Plus the festival was filled with drunks raving to electric dance music. Not the story you want to tell your grandkids.

“Or how about where you guys had your first kiss?” I suggested. Dimpho came to a sudden halt as though the idea had fallen from the heavens.

“You think she’ll like it?” She spoke tentatively. See the pair had their first kiss on a hill on the outskirts of the city. It was scenic with thigh high grass and a beautiful view of the city, it was the ultimate place to pop the question. Although we did all go there just to get drunk and high after I first moved out to Joburg, that small detail could be overlooked when assessing the benefits of that one hill.

“I think she’ll love it.” Dimpho still wasn’t convinced.

“So just me and her up there? It’s gonna be awkward.” She whispered. I rolled my eyes.

“Fine, invite a string quartet. There, now it’s you guys and a band. Not awkward at all.” She scoffed at the idea, then paused before she spoke again.

“How about we have it during sunset. With the radio and us on the car hood. And maybe we invite a few of our closest friends?” She was seeking approval. I liked the idea minus the eyewitnesses. It would be prefect, because under all that ‘I don’t give a f**k’ attitude Dimpho -carries around like it’s a badge of honour- is a little perfectionist crawling to creep out.

“Yes, so the rest of us can awkwardly stand by and i********: your engagement while the rest of us are still single? No, you’re going to propose to your future fiancé. Alone. And then have an engagement party with all your closest friends after.” It took her a while but she finally agreed and shooed me out the room once our little brainstorming session was over.

All too soon happy hour arrived. But I wasn’t on my way to a lovely bar, instead I was on my way to dinner with my mother. She’d begun enjoying the unsupervised meetings. Planning them so often I couldn’t always pay the bill because my purse was still recovering from the previous dinner. She really did live the life of opulence.

I noticed this when I arrived at the restaurant –that she’d suggested. Tonight we’d be discussing not only the plan but I was finally allowed to meet Malome Lekau. The hostess eyed me with a certain type of confusion deeming me as unfit to be in this particular restaurant but once I’d revealed my name, she cowered.

My parents must have dinned here often because I was given the royal treatment until my mother arrived fashionably late with a man beside her. She wore a black gown with her signature wig placed on her head. But it was the man who caught my attention. His eyes locked on her as she stalked through the restaurant as though she owned the place. He was captivated by her.

A little too captivated for a brother-sister relationship. But as they approached and I eyed him closer, I noticed how he looked nothing like her. His blazer was worn out and his face had patches of skin that were different colour. But there was something about him, that reminded me of my father. Maybe it was his warm smile.

Or the way he embraced me when we did finally greet one another. Or perhaps it was his height. But there was something about this man in front of me that I couldn’t quite shake. He managed to even put my mother at ease making her laugh at every second word he had said, something she almost never did. He’d even remarked about the last time he saw me in a classic family saying; the last time I saw you, you were in diapers.

Which I replied to with a teasing; ‘the last time I saw you, you were covered in my vomit.’ He laughed, as did my mother although I could tell she was cringing at the descriptive joke. I like him. I liked him even more when he’s begun question me about my plan.

“You know, you’re lucky. In the olden days, a woman’s father chose for her.” His face fell a bit when he spoke. “So I will do this for you. I think it’s time we let go of our old methods. Marriage is about love, not profit.”

I couldn’t agree more. The discussion went further but it was bland after that. And I’d lead him to believe that I was in fact in love with Aaron and that this entire situation was all so unfair to me. Even though you’re not in love nor will you ever be.

Soon he and my mother both grew tired and I had to stop by Aaron’s place. We parted ways and my eyes tried to follow the pair as the entered their car but the tinted windows and the darkness of the night made it an impossible task. With those two out of the way I readied myself for another awkward encounter with Aaron.

Driving through the brightly lit streets, I kept replaying the hurt expression he had on his face before I left. Clearly he was trying to lessen the hurt he’d inflicted by sparing my feelings but I didn’t need his sympathy. Especially after he’d exposed his true motive and focused on my money more than helping me through my time of need. I can’t believe we almost had s*x with that douche.

So there I was, livid and ready to tear off Aaron’s head. I’d knocked on the hardwood door hard enough for the entire neighbourhood to hear. Here she is ladies and gentlemen, Thati Lestie fresh off the press of Scorned Daily Newspapers. It all dissipated the moment Aaron opened the door.

He looked better than the last time I’d seen him. With his hair as clean as the shirt that covered his expansive chest. He looked nervous.

“Aaron, you busy?” I wasn’t trying to be nice, I was paying him by the hour. That didn’t deserve niceness just civility.

“Uhm, not really. Come in.”

He gave a tense smile as he ushered me in. His living room had a lot less mess scattered across the floor. In fact I could actually see patches carpet which is an improvement from what I’d seen previously.

He had his laptop on the coffee table with what I thought was a moving screen saver flashing across the screen. Before I heard a familiar voice.

“Thati dear is that you?” I heard Maria call.

She gave a pixelated wave as did Wessel. I waved back at the pair. Well this isn’t awkward at all.

“Oh hi. Aaron said he wasn’t busy. I’m sorry I didn’t mean to intrude-“

“Oh you’re not intruding on anything special. Aaron just called to say hi.” She paused for a moment while we all stood in an uncomfortable silence, “Are you and Aaron back together?” I could sense the giddiness in her tone. Her husband reprimanded her but she only laughed in response. I eyes Aaron who looked just as speechless as I did.

“Uhm, we are.” Aaron’s eyebrows furrowed as I spoke. “In fact, I was wondering if I could fly Wessel over here so you guys can start with my Lobola negotiations.” Aaron still remained silent, unlike his mother who seemed to have heard the best news of her life.

“But doesn’t Lobola usually happen when a couple is engaged?” Maria asked once her celebration ceased.

“Uhm,” Think fast. ’Well Aaron and I have talked about it, and since we’re headed in that direction anyway, we thought we might as well,” I reached for Aaron’s hand. “Isn’t that right honey?” My voice was layered in sweetness, so sweet even uttering those words gave me a cavity.

Aaron seemed to have awoken from his trance like state, forcing a smiled as he wrapped an arm around me. “Right. Just get it over and done with right now.”

“Well, that’s a big step for you both. We’d be happy to support you.” Wessel chimed in with a raspy voice.

“Great!” I spoke with faux enthusiasm. “So for the next three weeks I’ll fly you guys over. This week negotiations. Next week meeting the family and the final week will be a short little ceremony.”

We hashed out the final details before both Maria and Wessel hung up. And then I was left with a very confused looking Aaron. The frown-lines on his face were like trenches in the ground. He crossed his arms across his chest and waited expectantly.

“How much do I owe you?” I asked fishing out my cheque book.

“Excuse me?” He asked.

“I said, how much do I owe you? I’m paying you by the hour and I need an hourly rate.”

He was silent for a second before speaking again. “Are you insane? You practically just told my parents we’re engaged and now you’re flying them over. My mother is ill Thati. And we’re not lying to my parents about our relationship status! Sure I’m helping you, but we need boundaries Goddamn it!”

My jaw ticked and my nostrils flared. And the blood in my veins began to boil. “Firstly, your mother will be treated by one of my family’s most trusted doctors, who will provide her with the best care money can buy because I wouldn’t dare hurt such a sweet old lady. Secondly, you will never raise your voice at me again, because I am not some six year old who stole a cookie from your cookie jar as you can see I’ve grown past that stage. And lastly, this isn’t some favour you’re doing for me because you feel sorry for me. You’re getting paid to do all of this and that mean if I say we’re engaged, you will damn well act like it. Now I’m going to ask you one last time, how much do I owe you?”

And then there was silence. His jaw clenched as his eyes focused on me. He wasn’t the only one surprised by my outburst, but I couldn’t apologize he needed to know where we stood. “Two hundred per hour.”

I slipped out the note from my purse before smiling dimly. “It’s good to see you come cheap. “