Confessions of a Modern U’Makoti(BWWM)

Confession #17

Confession #17

Cows for sale: (All ranging from 15 000 – 20 000)

Bos Taurus

Angus

Dexter

Hereford

Red Poll

Beef Shorthorn

Romagnola

Ankole

Tuli

This was the fifth website that sold anything but Nguni. Why was it so hard to find a cow! I was more likely to find a gay bar in the Moopesti town than find this stupid cow. Not to mention the fact that I have to find 166 of these beasts. Why couldn’t my parents be normal and ask for a new TV with an extra twenty grand? And while in the midst of this journey of cow discovery, our favourite heartbreaker called.

“Hi.” I answered still fixing my eyes on the screen in front of me.

He cleared his throat. “Hey, Ti-Thati. How’s the cow hunt going?” His attempt at small talk was wasting everyone’s time. I rolled my eyes at the effort.

“Aaron, you did not call me to make small talk did you? Because if you did you’re wasting not only your airtime but my time. So unless you got caught in a huge fatal accident and can’t continue with the Lobola negotiations, there is no reason why we’re having this conversation is there?” Being angry at Aaron never got old. I’d given myself a mental pat on the back. In my mind he deserved it and I was the hurt puppy still recuperating.

“Thati-“

“That’s what I thought. Bye Aaron” I was just a millisecond from hanging up on the parasite when he called me to a halt.

“Thati wait!” He called through the line. A voice as desperate and annoyed as mine.

“What?” I asked impatiently.

“I found us the cows.”

For a second I was silent. How the hell did he manage to do that? What search engine was he using? Bing? I should have known Google wouldn’t have the same results.

“What? Where? All 166 of them?” I muttered still confused on how he managed to save the day and I couldn’t.

“Yeah, an uncle of mine is moving out the country. He wants to meet us today for lunch. Please tell me you can make it.” He begged, it had an unwanted effect on me. Considering how I’d already done had my theatre shift there was no reason to say no. Except for the fact that Aaron would be there. But then again so would the cows.

“Yeah, I’m free. Send me the directions.”

He hesitated a little. “Uhm, Thati he thinks I’m paying Lobola for you. We’d have to arrive together. So I’ll pick you up from work in about half an hour?”

This had me vexed but for the cows’ sake I would tag along with Aaron. “Pick me up from home.”

I wasn’t much for long trips to the outskirts of town with an ex-boyfriend but the idea of being Lesego’s wife forever didn’t seem like a better alternative either. So there we were, in Aaron’s car driving to the sound of silence. He seemed nervous. He looked like he wanted to say something but was holding back.

I grew bored of stealing glances from him and before I knew it we’d stopped. Voster’s Cattle Estate reeked of cow manure. The farmhouse was a few yards away from the cattle’s shelter. It was a large piece of land. The house, was one of those imposing conglomerate of bricks and glass that had you feeling lesser than what you actually were.

We sat in the car for a moment before Aaron finally turned to face me. I gave him a confused glare as he released a deep sigh. He reached for the something behind him. He held a wooden box with golden engraved onto it. It was a circular pattern against the old wood. My eyebrow rose.

“Uhm, you’re going to have to put this on.” He opened the box and there was a sliver chain with a ring hanging on it. The ring was a simple platinum band with a modest sized emerald diamond. It looked worn out but there was obviously some sentimentally behind the ring.

“The ring or the necklace? Or the ring with the necklace.” Confused layered my words.

“Which ever one you like. It’s just that my mom told him we’re engaged and we have to act the part. This ring means a lot to my mother and he knows that. If he sees you wearing it he wouldn’t ask any questions.”

I exhaled a deep sigh. “Who’s ring is that Aaron?”

“My grandmother, from my mom’s side. Ma would always wear it around her neck, she wanted you to have it. Whatever you said to her last week...” He paused, giving me a sad smile, “It meant a lot to her.”

Oh f**k. I was about to have a panic attack. I didn’t know Maria was testing me during our single conversation that weekend. Hell, I barely knew what I was saying. I was drinking that night. Drunk words, sober thoughts. “Oh my God. Aaron, I can’t.”

His face fell. This time he wasn’t looking me in the eye, he looked passed me. “Thati, you need the cows. Just put on the ring for a few hours and pretend we’re in love. He’s willing to give us 170 cows for the price of 166. He just wants to see you and understand why I’m so…”

He couldn’t finish his sentence. We both knew what he wanted to say but he couldn’t say it. That hurt a lot more than expected. “Why you’re so in love with me? If you can’t say it, I’m pretty sure you’re going to have a hard time showing it.” He didn’t say a thing, he just kept looking passed me. “Give me the ring.”

I placed the ring on my finger with shaky hands. And once it was on. I couldn’t stop staring at it. It was gorgeous in its antiquity.

“Aaron, wil julle in kom af nie?” The man hollering the words was a classic Afrikaner man. A real Boer. He wore khaki shorts, heavy duty boots, a button up shirt and mostly importantly he had the beer belly all old fashioned men aspire to have.

“Ja Oom, ons kom.” Aaron called out with just as much Afrikaans enthusiasm as the oak standing at the door with a beer in his hands. He gave us both an eager smile.

I wasn’t going to lie, this was very awkward. My ex-boyfriend’s arm was around my waist. The old Afrikaans guy kept making jokes that would always semi-cross the line between racist and funny. Although the introductions went smoothly, we still had to stay for lunch. Traditional Boer-Kos –pap and vleis – was to be served.

In the meantime while the food was still being prepared, Uncle Braam (Old guy) gave us the tour of his manure smelling kingdom. We had to talk a cart down to the cow barn. He had hundreds of Nguni cattle. Enough to make my father and his ego very happy.

“So…” Braam drawled out in a heavy Afrikaans accent. “How did you two met?”

I gave Aaron a sweet smile as I squeezed his hand. How did we met? I just remember the break-up. “You tell him, babe.” I stared up behind my lashes. But Aaron thought this was a game and decided to make this a cute couple’s moment.

“Kyk Oom, she’s shy. No, my skattebal, why don’t you tell Oom how we met?” He placed a chaste peck onto my cheek. And there was that unwanted reaction again. A smile! Thati have you no self-control?

“Fine, so I was extremely drunk. And Aaron took me home that night…” Braam seemed to pause and turned to me with a wickedly knowing grin. “Anyway, the next morning he was in my fridge looking for food and I felt so sorry for the poor baby. That I bought him some breakfast. And the rest is history.” I smiled sweetly. Braam laughed while Aaron gave a tight lipped smile.

“That true?” Braam was turning pink from laughed. Aaron quickly amended the situation.

“When she says it like that, it’s not romantic.” This made my smile fall flat.

“So how do you tell the story?” I asked.

“She walked into the bar one night, it was weird how no one else noticed just how gorgeous she was. I made sure, I’d served her table that night so I could talk to her,” Now his gaze shifted to me; it was warm and filled with adoration, “She didn’t spare me a second glance. But with every round they ordered I couldn’t kept my eyes off of her. She didn’t even tell you the funny part where I had to change my shirt because I spilt all her table’s drinks on myself. I was so focused on her and I ran into Ricky-“

“You did not?” I asked in awe. This time the warm feeling washing over me was very welcome. I bit my lip, holding back the stinging at the brim of my eyes.

“I did sweetheart. “ He pecked my cheek but this time it lingered and I let it.

Braam; who was a non-existent entity until he spoke again. “Aaron I’m very gelukkig, for you. She’s worth every one of his beasts.” I laughed at his word, it wasn’t even funny. But I need a distraction from what just happened between Aaron and I.

And by the time lunch was over it was settled. I (Braam would never know it’s from me) would transfer the money into Braam’s account. And the cows would be delivered the day of the ceremony. Although that was settled, my thoughts and emotions were not. I was angry and confused. Why did Aaron have this sudden outburst now? It wasn’t fair.

And you won’t believe how foolish this sounds but once we were on the highway back home, I cried. Hold off all judgement! There was a lot of unresolved anger dwelling inside this small frustrated body of mine. Aaron pulled over, attempting to sooth me but I ended up screaming like a banshee.

“Don’t touch me!”

“Thati, you’re crying. Let me comfort you.” His hand rested on my knee but I pulled away.

“No! What the hell was that back there?”

“Back where?”

“Don’t be a moron Aaron. That whole story. Couldn’t you just keep it to yourself?” I asked through my blurry vision.

He shifted in his seat, “I thought we were pretending-“

“You f*****g asshole! You and I both know that wasn’t pretending Aaron.”

“Thati, I’m confused.” He gave a perplexed look.

“No, I’m confused. You broke up with me! Remember? You hurt me. You give up on us. And you definitely don’t get to say stuff like that and make me feel something for you.” My throat felt tighter and my tears finally ceased. “Because you don’t deserve it. “

He had an unreadable expression on his face. And lower lips trembled. He opened his mouth to speak but I interrupted him.

“Tig-Thati, I-“ “Don’t say anything. It literally hurts when you speak. Just take me home.”