Confessions of a Modern U’Makoti(BWWM)

Confession #19

Confession #19

Nadia was on a mission.

Nothing special like anything Catwoman or Wonder Woman would do. No, Nadia couldn’t commit herself to a life of crime fighting when her wedding day was just around the corner. See in an interesting turn of events Nadia had decided that her wedding day would be no less than four weeks away. (four weeks and counting).

A normal couple would have waiting at least six months to a year to get married. But Nadia’s reasoning was simply; ‘I’ve know this woman for ten years. Three of those years I’ve been waiting to get out of the friendzone and the last seven have been me constantly waiting for her to propose. I not going risk Dimpho get cold feet again. So we’re getting married as soon as possible.’

I didn’t try arguing. This was her dream. She didn’t argue with my dream of being disowned by my father. Although my dream had a lot more logic to it. She was one of the brides, and she called the shots therefore I shut up.

And one of the shots she’d called was having an engagement party. Nothing like normal engagement parties where everyone is dressed in semi-formal attire, sipping on cocktails and making small talk. No, that wasn’t enough for Nadia.

Nadia’s engagement party had to be A)at Aaron’s bar because he was the cheapest venue. (Her apartment; my first suggestion, was off limits) And B) it was a costume party. We were nowhere near Halloween – not that it’s really celebrated in South Africa – nor was there any real reason why we had to dress up as anything other than ourselves, but Nadia and Dimpho had agreed that they wanted to be different.

And as maid of honour, s***h their lapdog. I planned the event. I handed out the invites (made them as well). I checked up on the RSVP list. I called the caters. The only thing this underpaid lapdog did not do was have any interaction with the venue. How did you do that?

Simple, Nadia’s sister Claudia took care of that. Claudia was the boring version of Nadia. Still drop dead gorgeous with legs of a Victor Secret model and long luxurious blond hair. Shame, she was sweet and occasionally funny and she laughed at my jokes. And thankfully she was okay with handle that detail of the party.

From drinks to food it was all sorted thanks to us. Décor shopping might have not been the world’s easiest task (since there was no theme) but we managed to keep everything within budget. And on the odd occasion when I though I heard Aaron’s name or had a flashback of this weekend, a small shot of tequila or a bottle of wine was always near.

It was however really hard to fit my tiny metal flask filled with vodka into my costume. I should have gone with something 70s, something with more pockets. But a Cleopatra had a better ring to it. How those people got drunk in those days without a tiny flask on their body is beyond me.

And thankfully when I’d arrived Wonderboy was not in sight. And after hours of preparation our glowing brides entered the bar. (which still had that stupid plastic curtain). They loved it. And they were ready to announce to the entire population of the Johannesburg area and people within a 10 km radius of the city, that they were getting married and everyone else could suck it. Nadia’s words not mine.

Although I wasn’t much of a party girl. The music, the food, the mood was doing me just fine as I danced to the smooth sounds of house blaring through the speakers. That was until I saw a Roman warrior, yes you read right. He could have been anything, an astronaut, a sailor, hell he could have been anything he’s mind desired just not a Julius Caesar or Mark Anthony look alike.

Where’s my vodka. I felt a bit lightheaded when I saw him approached. But a barely dressed bunny stopped him. You can only imagine my surprise when playboy bunny turns out to be Claudia. I shouldn’t have been surprised. Earlier this week Claudia had been talking about a guy she like who she wanted to approach, I told her to make the first move. And there she was… Making the move.

By the time the pair had made their way to the bar, my vodka was done. But my nerves were still shot. Nadia had just got back from the bathroom, she noticed my search for stronger alcohol.

“You okay?” She asked. She’s dressed as Princess Bubblegum from Adventure Time and of course Dimpho is Marceline. (We ship them.) It was incredibly hard taking her seriously but I had to ask something that’s been on my mind since Aaron and I spoke last.

“No, can we go talk outside?” She nodded as we made our way out of the crowded bar and into the barren parking lot. The light reflected off her glitter eye shadow.

“Listen, if this is about the venue. I’m sorry. It’s just-“

“Am I self-centred?” I blurted. It wasn’t supposed to come out like that.

Nadia laughed. She then cupped my cheeks and gave me a soft smile. “Yes, you are.”

Her bluntness wasn’t helping. Sure, I wanted the truth but I always liked the truth with a bit of icing on top. When she noticed my features twisting, she quickly amended the situation.

“But that can be a good and a bad thing.”

“How can narcissism ever be a good thing?” I asked genuinely interested in the logic behind her answer.

“Well, after what you’ve been through of course you want to look out for yourself. Take care of yourself, so you never get hurt like that again. You know how worthy you are of something better and are willing to wait for it. And being self-centred in that regard isn’t bad, but…” Her words faded a little.

“But what?”

“But that sometimes means you can’t see other’s worth. You’re so busy with your own agenda and making your wall even higher, that you forget some of us are just trying to get in. Or building up a wall of our own.” She placed her hand on my shoulder, pulling me in for a hug. “Is this about Aaron?”

My silence was a good enough answer for her. She pulled away, placing both hands on my shoulders. “You know what I think?”

“What do you think?”

“I think he’s still head over heels for you, “Clearly you did not see the bunny and the way he eyed her bunnies… “I think you guys should talk. Sort out your s**t. Or else just be civil. I mean, I get it. You’re hurt, you let him in. But deep down, I know you still have feelings for the guy. Am I wrong?”

I knew what the answer to that question was but I wasn’t ready to throw it out into the universe. I couldn’t be that reckless again for a while. And just before I could open my mouth to speak Dimpho called us in. Nadia gave a tight lipped smile before we both entered.

From then on I kept my eyes off bunny and Anthony. It was Nadia and Dimpho’s night and me drunkenly slurring out curse words at Aaron would just make me look like an ass. So I kept my alcohol levels in check.

And whilst nursing my drink, I noticed something I hadn’t seem in weeks. Anthony smiling. It wasn’t directed at me but at bunny. And I forgot I good it felt to be the cause of that smile. Or be at the receiving end of that smile. My heart instantly sank. We need to leave.

This hurt more than ‘Aaron taking my money.’ Seeing him with someone else hurt more than anything else. And with that in mind, I tried weaving out of the bar. But that stupid starfish! The blood fish ruined everything. It had a tray of drinks in its hand and walked straight into me.

There was a loud clutter and clash and then silence. Not to mention me, ass first on the ground. My make-up, my dress were covered in different types of cocktail. A s*x on the beach on my chest, while a mojito stained my torso and of course an apple martini on my face but everyone loves a pina colada on your shoes! f*****g prefect.

“I’m so sorry. I was walking backwards and –“ The starfish apologized as a crowd soon began to gather around us.

“No, it’s okay. Just help me up so I can go.” I pulled out my hand, and between the shards of glass and the watery floor, the starfish must have slipped landing on me.

“Oh my God!” I felt its weight instantly crushing me.

“I’m so sorry.” It chimed again, trying to wriggle its way off of me. And soon the crowds were laughing and phones were out.

I could literally feel myself seething. I pushed the bloodly thing off of my attempting to get off of the floor but nothing seemed to work. My ankle hurt and pushing on it only brought a yelp of pain. And just when I thought this couldn’t get any worse…

There appeared Mark Anthony with Bunny not far behind him. At this point I felt extremely helpless and annoyed. He carefully approached me through the glass and said this… You won’t believe The ape.

“Thati, get up.” Geez thanks smart ass, it’s not like I’ve been trying that for the last forty-five seconds.

“I can’t.”

His eyebrows furrowed. “What do you mean you can’t?”

“My ankle- I f*****g can’t get up! I’m in this kiddie-pool of alcohol and glass shards and my ankle hurts like hell. You can either help me or be like everyone else and make me a trending topic on Tweeter for the night.” This cannot get any worse.

He quickly said something to Bunny, probably something like; ‘Yoh, I dodged a bullet with that one ey?’ Before he hovered over me, carrying me bridal style. I tried covering my face with my hands but they smelt of cheap alcohol. Aaron sat me down on his office sofa before kneeling down in front of me with a worried look.

“Thanks for the help.” I whispered, he gave a curt nod before taking off my shoes for me. This is awkward. It was silent; he came back up with a worried expression. I furrowed my eyebrows. “Do you have bathroom in here? I smell like cat piss.”

His lips began to form a frown. “Yeah, but your ankle’s really swollen.” He stayed quite for a moment, “I’ll get you an ice pack and a change of clothes are in the medicine cabinet in the bathroom. “

He slowly stood up and walked towards the door. He stopped and asked, “You gonna be okay Tig-Thati?”

“Yeah.” And as though he was on cue, Aaron exited the room. It wasn’t an easy task hopping across the room to the bathroom, but I made it. And in the tiny room there was a toilet and a basin with the cabinet Aaron had promised hanging above it.

With all the tissue and hand soap I could find, I scrubbed every inch of my alcohol covered body. And when I felt ‘clean’ and not like a pickle preserved in alcohol. I changed into an old pair of boxers and a faded UCT jersey.

When I exited the tiny bathroom Aaron sat on the sofa. He gave a look of relief when he saw me hopping towards him. I threw myself onto the sofa. He gently pulled my legs onto his lap, placing the ice on my left ankle. I hissed at the coolness against my skin. And then we were silent again.

“You know you can go back to the party. I’m pretty sure I can handle it from here.” I suggested but he didn’t move an inch.

“No, you might fall off the sofa and twist something else.” He joked. I lightly laughed, resting my head against the armrest. He shot me a tight lipped smile.

“Thanks Aaron.”

His face became softer, the corners of his lips tugged upwards again. “You already said that.”

I paused. “I know it’s a bit late. But it’s a thanks for everything. You’ve been nothing but helpful and I’ve just been a roaring bitch.” I’d come to this conclusion whilst trying to get drunk, as you can see, it didn’t work out. “Anyway, this is probably a really shitty apologize. But I am sorry Aaron.” I was being as sincere as a woman who’d just been showered with alcohol and left injured could be, I just hoped he would acknowledge it.

“Don’t worry about it. If it’s any consolation. I’m sorry too.” I didn’t know if he was saying sorry for lashing out at me, breaking up with me or hurting me but I took what I could get like a happy chappie.

And for a while, all that could be heard was the drunken sounds of the party behind the door. I bit my lower lip in a bid to say anything that could ruin that once moment of serenity between us. But I just had to say one thing.

“How about we be civil? I’m tired of fighting.”

His eyebrows rose. “You don’t want to talk about what’s been going on?”

“Well we can’t talk about that stuff if we’re at each other’s heads. I just want us to go back to normal,” When I realised what I had just said I had to amend the situation quickly, “I mean, I want to get to a place with you, where I don’t feel like killing you every time we talk. How does that sound?”

He chuckled ever so slightly, “Like paradise.” A sweet silence followed. “Listen I’m gonna get myself something to eat, you want anything?”

“No I’m good.” He carefully removed my legs from his lap and left the room. My breath began to even out and the sounds of music were a low hum. My eyes began to heavy and before I knew it, I’d fallen asleep.

You know when you’re asleep but you’re about to wake up? But you look asleep? Yeah that’s I heard something I probably shouldn’t have. I could feel a fingers lightly graze the length of my back. And I knew I wasn’t sleeping on the sofa anymore because sofa’s don’t have a heart beat and sofa’s don’t smell like Aaron. But in a small rehearsed whispered I heard.

“… And I know this is all my fault – okay not all mine, your dad was a real piece of work, but I haven’t felt this way about anyone. No, she’s hate that. Listen I didn’t mean to hurt you, I just- No. How about, Thati I think I’m in l-“ I heard the door opening.

“Aaron? Thati? I thought you two-“ Chloe’s confused voice shook me awake, my eyes snapped open and there were Aaron’s blue eyes staring right back at me.

“Thanks a lot genius you woke her up. Morning Beautiful.” He gave an easy smile.